French Open 2010: Le cinquieme jour

In Andy Murray, French Open, Grand Slam, Maria Sharapova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tennis, Venus Williams on May 28, 2010 at 8:11 am

Day 5 at the French Open proved to be a testing day. The rain did go to Spain but it came back again and again and again and again. Play has been so severely back up that today, Day 6, it is as if everyone and their grandmother are playing. If there ever was a day to be home and watch tennis, today is the day. As we speak, Divadal, the Serenantor, D’Joker Harelqueen, Dingo Dog, David Ferrer (surprise we haven’t a name for this one) and Speedy Gonzalez are all playing. And this is not even half of it as more fan favorites are set to play including, the Crackhead vs. Cibulkova (going to be very interesting), Mr. Federer, Tabasco Verdasco, Lochness Monster vs. Fatdatis (going to be very interesting) Ms. Gold Lamé vs. Fatrova. I do feel my temperature rising. I may just have to call into work. Anyway to the tennis..wait before I go…Two housekeeping matters…Please don’t forget to support our sponsor especially if you are politically inclined. It is really worth the effort. Also, I have yet to see comments on the blog postings. Come on people. I am very surprise that there have been so few comments…actually only TWO comments when many if not all of you supported the cause of having an actual blog. I am not an egomaniac and I am fishing for comments to increase my online profile. I simply want comments so as to improve the publication. New York Times thrives on readers’ response and I assure you, my work is definitely on par with that of the above-mentioned periodical. I wish not to have to take drastic action in order to force you fanz to response. To the tenis…..

Women’s Draw.
Despite the rain, a lot of women’s matches got on the way yesterday and because of the cold damp conditions, a lot of upsets came about and/or near came about. Yesterday saw the battle of two Sesame Street Siblings. Big Bird lil sis aka Fivehead took on Telly Monster’s sister Kaia Kanepi of Estonia. (See pictures) Things almost looked routine for the 4th seed but things took a decisive turn late in the 2nd set. Telly Monster’s sis decided to show her stuff and took the 2nd set. However, experience proved to be the victor as Fivehead closed it out at 6-4 in the 3rd. Final results 6-3 3-6 6-4. Fivehead might just make it to the semifinals. There is simply no real player in her quarter at this point who can bother her. However, she lacks the power off the ground and serve so, I would be surprised if she loses before that point. She faces a possible Serenanator, No Justice Justine and D’Stove as her opponent.

Kaia Kanepi

Telly Monster:I can’t believe you lost to that bird…You making me lose my street creds..I can just see Elmo laughing at me now…I won’t be able to look Big Bird in the eyes again…not that I ever could with his big dodo @$$ looking self.

Alisa Kleybanova took out Ana Ivanovic (Mrs Tabasco Ferdasco). This results is not surprising but disappointing. It seemed at one point that Ana Ivanovic was the future of women’s tennis. She has a very nice game and that forehand was crazy good. However, right about now, she’s history. Ivanovic was up 2 love in the first set but went on to lose 12 of the last 13 games 6-3 6-0. Will no one help this girl? She made it to three major finals and is the 2008 French Open champion. This former number 1 ranked player is currently at 42 and I know that number is going to be higher in the near future. Maybe she needs to take some time off or something. Have a baby perhaps a la Mommie Dearest?? What I really think she should do is drop Tabasco Verdasco so that she can concentrate on her career, which would make him a free agent and free for the taking because at this point, it is torture to watch her struggle this badly. In other wins, The Demented One staved off an upset and came through 6-2 7-6. She was up several times in that second set but constantly losing her serve. In other SSSC (Siblings of Sesame Street Characters)Wozniack took out the 32nd seed Kateryna Bondarenko whose sister Alona the 27th seed made it through to the 3rd round. Vera  Zvonareva the 21st seed lost 4-6 4-6 as did the 8th seed Radwanska 5-7 3-6. Na Li won, Israeli Shahar Peer took out American Bettanie Mattek-Sands who looked in control of the match in the first set winning 6-3 but the Israeli showed off her military training losing only 1 game in the next 13 3-6 6-0 6-1. Granny Krumm’s improbable run to the 2nd round finally came to an end when she met Australia’s Jarmila Groth. Gramma was sent to the retirement home to collect her SSI cheque losing 0-6 3-6. Due to late starts yesterday, Shriekapova has to finish her match against Belgian’s Flipkens as do No Justice Justine and La petite grosse.

Alisa Kleybanova. Where is the fitness in women's tennis?

This girl is looking more like she hangs at the Klondike Bar than at a tennis court.

Men’s Draw.
Before we get to discussing actual play, I have to announce the announced retirement of one of France’s best, Sebastian Grosjean. We just spoke about him yesterday and now his is leaving the tour. He has been battling injuries for a while. He would be missed.

Ladies do not be fooled by the face, the five o’clock shadow and the accent français, lurking in that mouth lays an explosion of dentistry. Though I don’t have the pictorial evidence, I swear there are more than the regulated 32 in that mouth. A dental fiesta/fiasco even though he is French

To Play: I am so happy to announce that Beetlejuice is out and we don’t have to see that hideous face again. I know there is a particular fan who finds BJ cute granted one has to also consider that she carries a torch for the Lochness Monster, affectionately referring to him as Nessie. Nonetheless, that little antics he carried on with on Day 4 proved to be futile in his effort to win. The match resumed between him and Fognini (I believe I spelt it Fogini yesterday. Correction.) and the two played only 6 games before the match was decided 9-7 in favor of the Italian. The French crowd was severely disappointed and I definitely heard some boos for the Italian. And speaking of Lochness Monster, he also finished his match against Juan Ignacio Chela aka Chin-Chela. “Nessie” won 6-2 6-7 6-3 6-2 and I have to say that I am very disappointed in Chela. This is the second match up between the two and Chin-Chela, an Argentine, has shown himself to be quite pathetic as a clay court player against Murray. I mean seriously Chin-Chela, you suck big time. Fatdatis also completed his match against a Spaniard 4-6 6-1 7-5 6-2 and American John Isner took out yesterday’s hottie Chuidinelli 6-7 7-6 7-6 6-4. Mr. Brooklyn Decker won his match 6-3 5-7 6-4 6-2 and though the American commenthaters are trying to make news out of this, there is nothing to report other than Mr. Brooklyn Decker is looking sloppy on the red stuff. I am going to make the prediction that he will lose in the next round especially if the weather conditions continue as they are. Nonetheless, I assure you that Mr. BDecker will not pass the 4th round this year at all. Anyway, that’s about it to report thus far…

However, I can offer you some early results, the Serenanator dusted off the rust she showed in the 1st round taking out her 2nd round opponent 6-1 6-1. Jie Zheng has lost in straight sets, David Ferrer won when Xavier Malisse retired, American Jill Craybas lost her match as well. Divadal made light work on his opponent taking it in straight sets. 6-2 6-2 6-3. Last year’s semifinalist Speedy Gonzalez made quick work in his exit in the 2nd round, losing 3-6 4-6 3-6. Adios Amigo..D’Joker Harlequeen also won as did No Justice Justine

RFTN Picture Show.
There are no hotties today, just cuties…blame it on the weather which cooled things down

Ana Ivanovic, looking like salmon in that color…as she goes up river to die. Nonetheless, she does it looking cute and one always get points for style here at RTFN.

Fabio Fognini, cutie not a hottie and anyone who faces the Nottie deserves some credit. However, in true Italian fashion, the eyebrows are out of control…


Francesa Schiavone…however, I do protest…it should be Franceso Schiabones.

There is no guy nottie…I mean I don’t want to be beating up on Beetlejuice all the time

But I thought you all might like…side profile of the Chin-Chela and Lochness Monster.. A literal animal house out on the court.

Mixed Bag…
I have to announce another sibling connection…

I have found the sister of Marian "La petite grosse" Bartoli

Gloria the Hippo (I know I would burn in hell for this one)

Granny Krumm…Can you believe Dinada Safina lost to a cripple?

Shite…It took me 3 months to get here today to see Divadal play and now it rains..FCUK!!

Mum…I was not playing in the clay…

Kissing in the rain…How sweet and adorable..

I know I saw that app to change the weather/stop the rain somewhere on it…Just give me a sec

Get away from me! I told you, I don’t need an umbrella. I am use to the water; I live in a lake for crying out loud.

Don't know who he is but he is looking just plain ole creepy.. really was the wind…She definitely has no boos..But I bet she is packing a 12 pack on that stomach and I will admit my envy.

Hey Telly Monster’s sis…Big Bird says to tell you to tell your brother that he can kiss his tail feather.

Though these people have the balls in the right vicinity, they have missed the exact location. You have to go down…

Remember some time ago I reported that Lochness Monster’s girlfriend had dumped him because of his excessive attention to his video games over her…well I have uncovered some evidence, which makes me think that she was being kind to the beast. Seems that the Scottish monster doesn’t quite measure up…And he has offered up proof of this…

Take a look…..

Hmmmm so just in case tennis doesn’t work out for him, he got the pre-requisite to be a short-order-cook.

Look forward to a jam-packed issue on Monday…Au revoir les fanz…Enjoy your weekend.

  1. Your RG coverage is on point! I love the SSSC’s. Please keep them coming. And Alisa Kleybanova can also pass for Gloria the Hippo… You are giving these tennis players FEVER of the scarlet variety. Somebody needs to get them some antibiotics FAST, holla!

    • They need a doctor is more like it because there is no vaccine against the heat that I am bringing. Thanks for commenting.

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