French Open 2010: The Penultimate Issue

In French Open, Grand Slam, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tennis, Venus Williams on June 4, 2010 at 9:10 am

Hello fanz, unfortunately, this is our penultimate issue for this French Open . It has been great fun bringing you tennis newz. This year’s French Open as we predicted in the prévu issue French Open 2010 Prévu would be pivotal. As any great analyst, I have been proven right so far. Few would have predicted the semifinals match-ups though surprisingly, none of the players are rookies. Thus the results can also be viewed as being not so surprising after all. Nevertheless, it’s all part of the world of sports for the game is not won on paper but on the field.

Things have definitely been out of sorts at the Open…

When we last spoke, the ladies quarterfinals were almost completed and I had sent a brief update speaking of the Serenanator’s lost to D’Stove. I believe it is important to revisit some of these matches if only discuss some interesting points that developed. Fivehead took out Shvedova onher way to her second French Open semifinal. I might be wrong on this stat but Fivehead has definitely made it to this stage at majors before. She has made it to both Aussie and US Open semifinals. Fivehead has had a good clay court season getting to the finals of Rome, beating the Williams Sisters on her way. She would face Franceso Schiabone who took out the Danish Biscuit. Schiabone, a veteran of nearly 30 has been a consistent player throughout her career but never really followed through on her potential. Recently, she showed some steely nerves during Fed Cup (think World Championships for female tennis). Her opponent would be the formidable Elena “the Demented One” Dementieva. Elena is well overdue for a major victory. She has come so close yet still so far. She showed great form in 2008, winning the Olympic gold medal but in 2009 had the challenge of facing the Serenanator in two majors and lost them both. The Serenanator went on to win both titles. Demented One took out her fellow Russian Fatrova.

D’Stove vs. Serenanator: This was the match everyone was waiting for but not necessarily expecting. Serenanator was bound to get to the quarters but most figured she would face No Justice Justine. However, there is an expression, “Man plans and God decides” and so it was. No Justice Justine came out of the starting blocks as quick as lightening but fizzled in her final service game against D’Stove in the Round of16. D’Stove held her own and commendable under the circumstances. No Justice Justine had not lost at Roland Garros since 2004 and was the overwhelming favorite to win the entire tournament. However, like many, I figured Serenanator was a heavy favorite now that NJJ was out. The Serenanator is tough at majors but interestingly enough; the quarters are often where she loses herself. NJJ took Sernanantor out of 3 majors at the quarterfinals stage in 2007 alone. D’Stove came out blazing. She was definitely on like a boiled corn. Hitting corners and going for her shots. Serenanator looked well out of sorts, her serve was not clicking, she had difficulty with the slice backhand of D’Stove and frankly, her footwork was well off its usual game. D’Stove took the set 6-2 and served for the match 5-4.

The Serenanator looking obsolete on the court…

However, Serenanator was not going to go home in shambles and broke the Aussie and pushed the set to a tie-breaker where Serenanator closed it out 7-3. The match was all even from there on end. Serenanator suffered an early break but she broke to remain on serve. Remember that with the exception of the US Open, there is NO tiebreakers in the final sets of majors, Davis Cup and Fed Cup matches. Therefore, they had to play on until someone won by two games. Serenanator had match point, but this was on D’Stove’s service. D’Stove held her nerve and produced some clutch serving when she had to get to 6-6 games each. Serenanator had served very well up until her final service game where she seemed to have lost focus for a second or two minutes as she would say in the subsequent press conference and then lost her serve. D’Stove, knowing how dangerous Serenanator can be in these types of situations, quickly closed out the match 8-6 in the third set. It was definitely the match of the tournament thus far. Full credit to D’Stove for being the clutches of the always dangerous Serenanator and come through with the win. Many players have found themselves in the driver’s seat of the match only to end up in the backseat on their way out.

D'Stove showing off her appliances

D’Stove deserved the win. Both players played exceptionally well but D’Stove was a slight shade better. She was clearly the better server on that day. It is unfortunate that this could not have been the finals because they were clearly the best players in the draw this year. This lost is bitter in the Serenanator’s mouth as she really really wanted this victory. However, she would have to retool her game if she hopes to be a major contender on the clay in the future. She deserves to win another French Open. Now a lot of people have been giving Serenanator a lot of flack about her being ungracious in her lost. I would quote one blogger, referring to the American as being “passive-aggressive” SERENA WILLIAMS: Well, she’s a good player. I made so many errors, and I definitely was nowhere near my best today. But she played really well. Now I am no expert at languages but I am sure she is congratulating D’Stove for her win. It seems that most people would like the Williams sisters to go into press conferences and cry about how they were beaten on the court. Why? That’s what whimps do. Champions, they acknowledge their lost, they congratulate the winner and MOST IMPORTANTLY, they reinforce why they are usually the one in winner’s row and show that today was just an off day.

Serenanator firing on all cyclinders

What is most interesting about much of the criticisms of the Williams’ sisters is that it is usually generated by Americans. You would think that Americans would thread lightly considering that if we were to remove the Serenanator and Crackhead, Americans do not factor in tennis. Consider that Mr. Brooklyn Decker, the only one to come close, got to the finals of two of the most prestigious hard-court tournaments this year and won one, yet his name is lost within all the shuffle. The Williams sisters have proven themselves time and time again yet they get no respect in their own country; “a prophet receives no honor in his own land.”

The Williams Sisters: American Sports Greatest Threat. Here with their Terrorist fist pumps

Despite all the detractors, the Williams’ sisters have shown that they are made not just of Teflon but of Diamond. They are now the number one doubles team with their semifinal win. They will play for the title today. Serena joins an elite list of players who have been simultaneously ranked number 1 in both singles and doubles. She joins Kim Clijsters, Martina Navratilova, Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Martina Hingis and Lindsay Davenport. Congrats and thank you for aiding the Crackhead in a win. It seems the Crackhead needs constant supervision in order to be a champion. Now also interesting is the fact that if the sisters were to win today, they would be holding all four majors in doubles at the same time. They are definitely looking for the grand slam in doubles this year.

High Threat Level: Here they are with their killer high-five

Now in regard to the women’s semifinals…well there is not much to talk about really. The Demented One played Schiabone and for the first set, things were definitely even with neither player consolidating their breaks. They ended up in a tie breaker, which was finally won by the Italian. However, before the start of the second set, The Demented One retired allowing Schiabone to become the first Italian female to make it to a major final. Remember that loose tuna trying to get out of the Demented One’s can, well…let’s just say, it finally got away. I am so sorry for the Demented One as she yet again failed to win a major title.

The Demented One: I don't want to talk about my loose tuna...

As for the other match Fivehead vs D’Stove….well the D’Stove was cooking yesterday. 6-1 6-2. It was a beat down. Big Bird kid sister had a 2 game love advantage in the second set and was a point away from going up 3-0. However, stick a fork in the big headed bird as she was DONE…she lost 6 straight games…in essence, she flew the coop. Now D’Stove is having the tournament of a lifetime as she beat two former number ones and the current one all in a row. She deserves to win the tournament. However, one does not deserves a win in tennis, they earn one and between the Aussie and the Italian, I say the winner would be the one who doesn’t choke. D’Stove gets an edge especially with her forehand and her high kicking serves…Good luck to both.

Stick a fork in this bird because she is DONE

Now today is semifinals day for the guys. Divadal takes on Jurgen Meltzer and Robin Soderling aka Robin Hood Smoldering takes on Tomas Berdych…Yeah I know, it seemed many upsets have taken place on the menz side just as it did last year. Divadal did not look sharp as per his norm as he battled Nicolas Almagro in the quarters. He was pushed to two tiebreakers and squeezed it out 6-4 in the third set. Jurgen Meltzer took out D’Joker Harlequeen after the Serb was up 2 sets and a break in the third. Why and how D’Joker lost that match still remains unknown. He was just all out of sorts. I had hopes that D’Joker could win a second major but I guess I hoped in vain. There is an interesting stat that for the last 23 majors, in order to win, one had to either be Roger Federer or beat Roger Federer. So great is the man, Mr. Federer. Beast Boy, MADat Safin, Divadal, D’Joker Harlequeen, all won their majors by beating Mr. Federer, Therefore, all pressure is now on Smoldering.  As we speak, he has already won the first set from Berdych who already looklike he is ready to tank the match. Sorry for the short menz coverage but hopefully I make it up with the pictures…


Some off court action...


Those baby brown eyes....

We don't even know their names and we don't even care...DOUBLE TROUBLE

Moving from a Hottie to a Nottie…


Don't smile!!!

Mixed Photo Bag

Ru Paul's Drag Race???

Who has the handicap? The disabled are better dressed than the “abled” Looks like those standing have some special needs.


WTF is in that handbag?? She got a nest in there or a hat for that huge head.

A Royal Meltdown by D’Queen

Let me show you the mark…

This one....yeah that one

The ball is out gurl...

Bitch you blind. WTF WTMFF

There is the fcuking ball is good...

A queen gets no respect on court

Some tender moments on tour..

Give mama a kiss….

Hey you want to get outta here and go back to my place?? What did you say? Want to go to my place?

Are you serious?? FCUK YEAH…

Here’s my number…Yeah thanks…see you at 7? Yeah…make it 6:30 I want multiple rounds..

People starting to look now. Act normal! Act normal!...

  1. Roger Federer the greatest tennis player of all time?

    • Without a doubt. I don’t think people give him his due credit though. However, I guess it might be good for him because it keeps his ego in check but a lot of people give him a lot of flack. It might be that because he is current, people cannot see his accomplishments but figure great players have to be in the past and not in the present.

      Roger Federer is greatest at this point. He has definitely put in the work. Right now he is going through a rough patch especially at regular tour level tournaments. Perhaps this is beginning of the slow decline towards retirement. There comes a point where one is no longer competitive.

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