Realz

Wimbledon 2010: Day 3

In Andy Murray, Grand Slam, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, John Isner, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, Nicolas Mahut, Novak Djokovic, Queen, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tennis on June 24, 2010 at 8:53 am

Wimbledon is in its 4th day today and it’s all the buzz because Queen Elizabeth II is set to be around the grounds after a 33-year absent. She will meet top players, Mr. Federer, Serenanator, watch Lochness Monster, Divadal, listen about the state of British Junior Tennis, etc etc stroll around the grounds and do what she does best, stay silent and have people make a fuss of themselves around her. Now, you may not know this about me but I really dislike the notion of the British Monarchy. Historically, they have cause a lot of destruction and troubles in its Empire and quite frankly at this point, I really see it as a useless institution. Did you know that the Queen is technically the head of state for every single country in the Commonwealth including Canada, Australia, much of the Caribbean and a significant portion of Africa and she can in essence veto any decision that they make? I feel the Royal family is very much out of touch with reality and taking up space, money and time. Don’t get me started on how narcissistic I think the Queen is having her face plastered over much of the world’s currency. She does nothing at all but has a say in matter. I really find the entire thing ridiculous. The age of divine sovereignty is over and the royal family should be dissolved and put to work. I am not going to get myself all worked up over this tired old Queen because I deal with queens all the time and I tell you, I have no amount of patience for them and their antics and this one and her ridiculous handbags and ugly hat. Like WTF with the handbags…not like she is going to stop off at Harrods to buy herself some makeup or another fugly hat??

And of course, Wimbledon did not disappoint with their bullshit. Serena Williams will be relegated to Courrtt 2 so that Carolina Wozniacki can play on Centre Court. Are you fcuking kidding me?? The reason being Murray, Divadal and Wozniacki all are from countries with monarchy. That’s some bullshit. NYC alone has more queens than we can deal with. I mean there is an entire borough for Queens. WhoTF is Wozniacki to be trumping our American royalty? Serena has dominated Centre Court and you going to put her on Court 2 because some of ole bag of wind and tiger balm. This is not even right. Players get to have lunch with the Queen but who the hell wants her ole tea bags, wrinkled prunes, dried up apples and sour milk?? Don’t worry I am getting off the Hater Express next stop.

Oh yeah…you all are here to see me. Why? We No Hail No Queen

Anyway let’s get to the tennis..

I wish I could tell you I know what the fcuk Mr. Federer is doing on court but I really cannot say. In his last two matches, Mr. Federer is looking like he is ranked 35 in the world. In his first match, he was one game away from losing the match and I swear he was as calm as they come. He said in the press conference that he was lucky to have survived that match. Now he had played Falla several times before and beaten him handily. However, yesterday, he was playing a Serbian qualifier ranked I think 115 in the world. Yet Mr. Federer out there playing shit losing the 2 set in a tie-breaker. He was pushed to 4 sets winning the final one in another tie-breaker. I think he trying some different tactics and perhaps he felt that he lost the French because he was not tested in his first 4 matches but seriously Mr. Federer, you are Roger Fcuking Federer. You don’t be playing bloody cat and mouse games with the underlings. The odd thing is that he is just smiling on the court and looking like a spring daisy with the least sign of worry on his face. Meanwhile I am over here a nervous wreck. I cannot deal well with this sort of stress level. I had to bury the Crackhead because he was giving me ulcers only to have Mr. Federer fcuking with my stomach again. I will not have it. Hopefully he has figured out whatever it is he is trying to do. Perhaps he is living on the edge because there is very little else he needs to do in tennis to prove himself as being the greatest. Other than the calendar grand slam, there is nothing else and getting to number one again, which I am sure he would be able to do by the end of the year, Divadal or no Divadal.

Good job my @$

As Mr. Federer was playing, American John Isner and France’s Nicolas Mahut had already begun the fifth set of their match. They ended play on Tuesday at the end of the 4th set because of bad light. When Mr. Federer started play it was about 11-11 in their match. And they played on…Remember that it is only at the US Open where there is a tie-break in the final set. Apparently, it came about because the US could not stand to be delayed because of late tennis coverage. Isner has never won a match at Wimbledon and Mahut, well he is determined to get his win. Because Mahut served second in the 5th set, he is at a disadvantage because at 4-5, he has to serve to stay in the match all the time. Isner has a bomb of a serve and was aceing like no tomorrow.

The two men coming out from a bathroom break.

Mr. Brooklyn Decker took on Michael Llodra of France. Llodra has a coach in Amelie Mauresmo, Wimbledon champion in 2006. Now, it is unusual for a woman to coach a male player but I mean French players are not known to be great grass court players. Llodra won Eastbourne last Saturday, a grass court tournament. So, all in all I would say that the choice was a good one. However, imagine my surprise when I heard that Llodra hired Mauresmo to help “calm” things down, deal with the mental part of the game. I almost choked on my oatmeal. Are you kidding me? French people are crazy but this was beyond crazy, it was diabolical. Mauresmo is one of the greatest talent the women’s game has ever seen. She can do everything and then some on the court. However, Amelia Mauresmo is one of the greatest chokers ever. You give her a lead and she would be fall all over herself before the end of the match. She only has two majors when she should have at least a career grand slam. In 2003 in the quarterfinals at the French Open, the Serenanator who is no clay court player put a literal beat down on the Frenchwoman that she has never been the same at that tournament. Incidentally, the French cannot stand Serenanator since then. Since she got those two majors under her belt in 2006, Mauresmo has done NOTHING at all on court and finally retired in 2009. Now, they are asking this bag of nuts to help another bag of nuts. They must be all squirrels and true to form, Llodra showed what he learnt from Mauresmo. He took the first set 6-4. He was kicking Andy’s @$$. There was absolutely nothing Mr. Decker was doing that was hurting the Frenchman. He kept it up for nearly two sets but in true Mauresmo fashion, he unraveled and lost the match.

Johnny “Drama” Chase from Entourage in the off season playing tennis?? WTF

In other wins yesterday, D’Joker Harlequeen came out in better form than in his first round match. He knocked out American Taylor Dent. Hewitt also won when his opponent retired. It did not matter because Hewitt brewing with confidence with his title win over Mr. Federer, was well on his way to victory. Feliciano Lopez, Jurgen Melzer, Arnaud Clement, Beetlejuice, all won yesterday as did Thomas Berdych and Florian Mayer who beat American Mardy Fish. Meanwhile Nicolas Mahut and John Isner are still playing. In upsets yesterday, Daniel “German Lager” Brands beat Nicolay Davydenko “White Russian” in straight sets. Davydenko coming fresh off injury is not in the best of shape but nice to see the hot German making a legitimate name for himself.

We still have to play……….NOOOOOOOOOO

On the women’s side.
The Belgians again came out in stellar form though Mask Justine was having all sorts of serving troubles especially when she was serving for the match, where she got broken 2 times. Mask Justine speaks of wanting to win Wimbledon but not with that serve. Mommie Dearest too got broken when she served for the match but did it 6-3 6-2. The Crackhead again struggled to close out her match after being up 6-0 5-2, yet got broken and finally won on the return game winning 6-0 6-4. Fivehead Jankovic aka Big Bird’s lil sis struggled mightily yesterday but was able to send Cookie Monster’s lil sister back to Sesame Street. I was so praying for an upset but it was denied one more day. Daniella finished out here match with a win over American Vania King, Zvonereva won as did Wickmayer of Belgium and Maria Kirilenko. Americans Melanie “Dot” Oudin and Shenay Perry both lost yesterday. Shahar Peer lost yesterday to a qualifier; very disappointing as I felt she was on her way to being in the top ten. All the ladies matches were completed and still Isner and Mahut are still playing. They were are tied 59-59 in the fifth set. The scoreboard broke at 47-47. It is a record by all standards. They have played over 7 hours alone in the 5th set 10 hours for the entire match. Isner has 98 aces and Mahut has served to stay in the match 55 times saving 4 match points. THAT IS THE CRAZY STAT. SO many players choke while serving for the match and he did it 55 times.

Why won't this end???

Anyway, in today’s match Lochness Monster is set to play Jarkko Neiminen of Finland. You would remember that he pushed Mr. Decker to 5 sets at the French. So don’t be surprised if there is an upset. Murray is likely to choke because the Finn has absolutely nothing to lose and all the pressure is on Murray to win here especially in front of the Queen. You know how much of a heady player he is. Divadal is also set to play as well as Shriekapova and the Serenanator. I hope you all are having a cool day.

RTFN Big Picture Show..
Hotties: BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN.

German Lager

Angelique Kerber of Germany

Karolina Sprem of Croatia…..I am going to leave that last name alone 

Daniella giving the stare down to the Saw clown.

Oh gawd…….we still playing on….

Again today there is no Notties….WOW only beautiful people at Wimbledon?? No tomorrow we have to be on the hunt. Also not much for our mixed bag. Hmmm I have to send my photographers out for some work.

I’m just going to take a nap right now…I don’t want to play anymore….

STOPPPP

You all know I am a hating and I have been hating on Mardy the Whale, well, I think Mardy the Whale is now Mardy the Eel

I don’t believe this at all……..this has to be CGI a la 300…no way…I have some work to do before I hit the beach this summer.

Mofos…STOP Playing I need to pee…

Ooooo…This is what the weather is like down here……..It’s raining where my head is.

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  1. Wimbledon 2010: Day 3…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

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