Realz

Wimbledon 2010: Getting all Caught up Day 6 and Day 8

In Andy Murray, Grand Slam, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, Kaia Kanepi, Li Na, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tennis, Venus Williams, Wimbledon on June 29, 2010 at 8:25 am

So I think as of today, we are going to be all caught up with our Wimbledon affairs. Of course, we would be cutting some corners but I do hope that the adage that I once heard from a priest “shortcuts break man’s neck” do not prove to be applicable in our case. I think so far, the only day we have not discussed is Saturday. I am mostly going to skip a full write up about Saturday because it is Monday’s action that is the meat of the matter for us. The second Mondays at Wimbledon is indeed jam-packed as all the remaining singles players are on court for their Round of 16 match with the winners going to the quarterfinals. By the time most of you read this today, the women’s quarterfinals would have already begun and as of today, women and men no longer play on the same day. Tomorrow promises to be a big day as well as it’s men’s quarterfinals. Nonetheless, in an effort of accuracy and integrity, I would mention that on Saturday, the Serenanator won, as did Shriekapova, Radwanska, Danish Biscuit, Telly Monster’s sister Kaia Kanepi, Na Li/Li Na won and Zakopalova taking out the 10th seed Penne Pasta Pennetta of Italy. Victoria Azarenka, 14th seed lost to Petra Kvitova who did not win a single match on grass before coming to Wimbledon. Azarenka was up 5-2 in the first set but lost 13 straight games to exit the tournament 5-7 0-6. She is such a head-case.

This German heifer must not know about me. Do you know who I am?? I am a D-I-V-A

On the men’s side, Divadal was pushed yet again to a 5th set by Philipp Petzschner of Germany. After the match, the Germany accused the Spanish Diva of gamesmanship as Divadal called the trainer out on court. I am not going to accuse Divadal of cheating per se but it was rather suspicious especially the second time he called the trainer out for his knee. If he had knee problems I am not sure exactly what the trainer did or could do especially since he did not re-tape the knee or anything but simply massage his thigh. Anyway, Divadal was also fined for coaching while on court as the umpire caught him communicating with Uncle Toni. After the match Divadal said (paraphrasing here), “I was not cheating when I called the trainer. Something was wrong with my knee and so I called him out to see about it (as his left eyebrow went up) and today, Uncle Toni was not coaching me. In the past, yes but not today and I am going to talk to the head referee about this.” Needless to say the ref was not having any part of Divadal’s cock and bull story and upheld the fine. In other wins, Lochness Monster, Robin Hood Smoldering, The Grinch, David Ferrer, Paul-Henri Mathieu of France as well as his countryman Baby Ali and Julien Benneteau all made it to the Round of 16.

Keep rubbing my thigh…just want to waste some time here…

So now that we are all caught up, Monday Mania begins…Since the women have to play their quarterfinals match today, they played first on all the courts. There was some drama/controversy in the Crackhead vs. Australia Jarmila Groth aka Ms. Hyde match. Groth was already on court and the Crackhead was nowhere to be found. The umpire was expressing “I don’t know where she is” to Groth for about ten minutes when finally the Crackhead showed up on court. The crowd booed her. Can you believe that? The fcuking crowd booed Venus Ebony Starr Williams, 5-time winner, 8-time finalist of Wimbledon. The Crackhead later stated that no one came to get her from the locker room where as Groth was in a different locker room. Their match was originally scheduled for Court 1 but yet again Wimbledon pushed them off and pushed the greatest grass court player of this generation to the graveyard court. Anyway, Groth came out strong and was very very competitive throughout the match. However, again, she was playing a far superior grass court player and even though the Crackhead looked disheveled in the match, she held her nerves and closed out the match in straight sets. If Wimbledon was looking for an upset by placing Williams on Court 2, it was not to be. However, it would be the other matches that caused the upsets.

Up next was the Danish Biscuit…I have long contended that this Dane plays WAY TOO MUCH TENNIS for a young lady. I swear every tournament there is, Wozniacki is signed up to play. She would soon burn out and worse, that potential that she has seeing as she got to the US Open finals, it would soon disappear and she would be a “has-been” by the end of next year. Nevertheless, her father continues to pack her schedule and as of late, the effects of this are showing. Petra Kvitova took out the Number 3 seed Wozniacki 6-2 6-0.  Kvitova would take on Kaia Kanepi, Telly’s sister who won her match in straight sets as well. La petite grosse lost to Pironkova would next take on the Crackhead. Now Tsetvana Pironkova is well remembered for taking out the Crackhead out of Australian Open 2006 first round but something tells me that there might not a similar upset today. Zvonareva came out blazing against Fivehead who retired from the match with back ailment. I think the problem is that in the last two majors, Fivehead has been choking. She realizes that that window of opportunity she had to win majors is gone and can no longer handle the pressure. Zvonareva would join Na Li/Li Na who moves into yet another major quarterfinals.

Sesame Street serving notice at Wimbledon…This one for my brother…

Let me hear Big Bird say shite now…motherfcuking Dodo Bird…

The two marquee matches yesterday was between Serena and Maria and Justine and Kim. Now, it is no secret that in both matches, the players cannot stand their opponents and I guess it’s this that made them all the more reason to watch. Justine and Kim have played 24 matches coming into this one and in the past especially at majors, Justine has been beating Kim @$$ although they were tied 12-12. However, for the year, Kim has been beating Justine and yesterday was no different. Cheating Mask came out strong and was hitting winners left and right but in the second set she looked rather unsettled and called for the trainer yet again to deal with her arm. Kim, wasting no time quickly reasserted herself in the match and took it 2-6 6-2 6-3.

Why does she even bother wearing a sports bra? To soak up excess sweat perhaps….Anyways, I think Justine is having “a moment” here…

The last time Maria met Serena at Wimbledon was in the 2004 Wimbledon finals. Maria was 17, new on the tour and became the it girl when she beat the defending champion in straight sets 6-1 6-4. Later that year, Maria beat her again at the year-end championships. However, coming into this match and all the hype, you would have sworn that it is Maria who leads the head-to-head with Serena 5-2 and not the other way around. You would have been mistaken in not remembering that in 2007 Australian Open finals, an out of shape Serenanator dismantled Maria in Melbourne like no other. Nonetheless, everyone figured Maria had a chance to beat the Serenanator. The Serenanator was not having that at all yesterday. Although, she was not playing as stellar as she was in her three previous matches, having never been broken, she played well within herself to send the shrieking Russian packing. 7-6 6-4. It was a good match and should be helpful for Serenanator as she faces Li Na/Na Li today who took her to two tiebreakers at the Australian Open this year.

The Serenanator was out to seek and destroy yesterday…

Breaking News…Jennifer Capriati has “accidentally overdose” and was rushed to the hospital in Florida….More on this story tomorrow…..there is just too much hate radiating out of me right now to give this story the right treatment it deserves…So I have to gather my wit…So look for an exclusive segment tomorrow.

Oh Jenny Jenny Jenny….you really went back to the block didn’t you??

So today the quarterfinals are as such…The Crackhead takes on Tsvetana Pironkova with the winner meeting either Mommie Dearest or Vera Zvonereva in the semifinal…..and the Serenanator taking on Na Li/Li Na with the winner playing the winner of Kaia Kanepi vs. Petra Kvitova.

For the men’s Round of 16, Mr. Federer was again in good form as he took out Jurgen Melzer in straight sets. The rust that he showed in the first two rounds is gone now and he is ready to lay claim to his 7th Wimbledon title. Divadal and Lochness Monster all had an easy time with their matches as they took out Paul-Henri Mathieu and The Grinch respectively. The Grinch had some nice looks at winning at least a set but his inexperience was so apparent it was at times painful to watch him get run around on the court. There is much potential for The Grinch but he really needs to start believing he can hang with the big boys if he intends to do damage on the tour. With James a non-factor and Mr. Brooklyn Decker nearing the twilight of his career, he is the next up and coming American. John Isner is nowhere near the consistency and style of play as the Grinch. Hopefully he gets there soon. Anyway, it was only the top three players who seem to have an easy time in their matches as everyone else had to battle it out.

The Monster roars….he is the only male player left in the draw who has not dropped a set…

D’Joker Harlequeen was up against Dingo Dog and though he took the first two sets, he sensed that the Australian was chomping at the bits. Dingo Dog is like an energizer bunny, he keeps going and going and going. Harlequeen knowing this bit about the Aussie pulled his infamous “I can’t breathe” bit on court, calling out the trainer. Now I know many athletes with asthmatic conditions and seeing that I suffer from a similar condition, I know if you can’t breathe, you cannot run. Not happening and it is amazing to see that D’Joker continually employs this tactic on court and he has not been reprimanded for his bullshite. It is ridiculous now at this point. However, Hewitt should have recognize this ploy and not allow himself to be suckered into losing focus. Of course, the “asthma patient” came out firing in the 4th set to win the match altogether. He would face Yen Hsun Lu who took out Mr. Brooklyn Decker in 5 sets 4-6 7-6 7-6 6-7 9-7. I would give you a much more comprehensive overview of this match tomorrow as well as a neat discussion on the fate that is Andy Roddick. There is not enough time right now to talk about this. However, I would say that I am not surprise that he lost because this is a recurring theme for the American who maintains his belief that a serve alone will take him back to the top.

Tsonga will meet Lochness Monster tomorrow as he took out his countryman Benneteau in 4 sets where as both Robin Hood Smoldering and Tomas Berdych needed 5 sets to win their matches. With Berdych’s win, the end of Daniel Brands nice run at Wimbledon is over. We would surely miss this hottie… So for tomorrow men’s quarterfinals, the match ups look like this: Mr. Federer plays Tomas Berdych; Divadal plays Robin Hood Smoldering (a match to watch), Lochness Monster takes on Baby Ali and D’Joker Harlequeen plays Yen Hsun Lu who I believe have beaten D’joker in the past.

RTFN Big Picture Show…
Hotties…Lending a helping hand…

Need some help “getting up” Baby Ali

Would you like some refreshments?? Something to suck on to keep you cool…

How about a shoulder to put your head??

NOTTIE

Cheating Mask believes if she sticks her pinkie finger out…she would be more like a lady. NOT

Oh my…having Five heads really can weigh you down…

MIX BAG

Shakira Shakira….your hips may not lie….But…

But this one is the Gospel Truth…BAMMMMM

Someone left paper out on the court again…

Why am I not surprise that the D’Joker Harlequeen has pink straps underneath his shirt….

Hmmm…I think someone is in need of a lil push up bra…

WTF…Are we in London or on some tourist trap??

Now if we can only find the spray to kill the weeds growing in their brains…

I think the mental asylum had an outing yesterday…

Yeah…definitely had an outing yesterday…

Sweetie…bows and ribbons make little girls pretty not frumpy ole women. Okay? Do us all a favor and that it out now…better yet wrap it around your neck and hang yourself for fashion attempted murder.

I’m gonna need this to play the Williams’s sisters in doubles tomorrow. Let me see those itches pass me now…

Giving it up like a common ho…

But monsters never go for the classy types. I think Nessie likes…he really really like

How many viagras did you take?? Fcuk…it’s not coming down…

Someone call the police...I think they about to run a chain/train on her

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