Realz

2010: A tennis year wrap-up with a nice bow.

In Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, Australian Opn, Caroline Wozniacki, Kim Clijsters, Maria Sharapova, Melanie Oudin, Nicolas Mahut, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tennis, Venus Williams, Vera Zvonareva on January 15, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Soooooooooooo. It has been months and no newzletter. I have been bad… really really bad. I know! I know! I have been promising you more and more but this time, I am committed to keeping you all in the light. I was to put together an end of year (2010) newzletter in 2010 but I never got to it. So, you get a double-packed issue this time around; 2010 Sum-up and a preview for the Australian Open 2011, which is set to start this Monday January 17, which would actually begin Sunday 16 for folks in the US. Remember Australia is 15 hours ahead, if I am not mistaken. (We do have an actual living Aussie fanz so perhaps he can correct any mistake in the time difference). Actually you might end up with like 4 editions in one; an almost blogopoloza. Anyway before we go on, a few housekeeping issues: Firstly, I want to say how excited I am to be back talking and writing about tennis again. I am going to work extremely hard, much to my own detriment, to get you up-to-date coverage and quality tennis information. Secondly, I will be expecting much more active participation from my fanz ie. Commenting on the blog, SUBSCRIBING TO THE BLOG, suggestions, hateration, likes and/or dislikes more importantly, you doing your part to get this blog www.realztenisfanz@wordpress.com out and about. I know a significant portion of my fanz do not have real access to the internet at their desks, when they get the issues. However, MANY of us have “smartphones” and we can log on and make it a favorite. Plus you can log on when you get home and make your comments then. If you can facebook all day long updating your status with “I am in the Starbucks toilet ehhhhhhhh!” Then I think you can definitely get the buzz going about the blog and newzletter. I put a lot of time and effort into bringing this product to you and the least, the very least you can do, is show your appreciation. Please don’t meet me in the hall and say, great job on the newzletter etc etc..nope, talk about what I am wearing when you meet me in the hallway but any and all comments about the blog and/or newzletter should be posted on the blog in a timely fashion. I do not mind if you say something about the blog and/or newzletter.. but you have post it on the blog. It would really help if this rule is observed and respected. This time might “blow” up and I assure you people, that I would be taking my fanz with me to the top. I don’t want to have to cancel people’s subscription and then put you on blast. You have been warned….

Get off your soapbox and get on Comitium.tv

Thirdly, I want to reiterate that our sponsor remains www.comitium.tv I know…I know, many of you are not politically inclined. However, it would great if you log on and take part in the political revolution of the 21st century.

Last, to you my fanz, I really do appreciate the support over the past several years. I do believe that we are going into our 4th year with RTFN and it has been quite a journey. You have made this great fun and I enjoy nothing more than knowing that more and more people are enjoying, learning and smiling when it comes to tennis. Plus I have something to write about. Nothing else I can do with my BA in English. Anyway to the tennis:

Aussie Pat Cash here to serve up the dish..though a bite size one on all that you missed.

The last time we spoke, Rafael “Divadal” Nadal was on a major tear. El Spaniard had finally figured out the secret of Flushing Meadows and won himself his first US Open title making it his third in a row. He had gained back his French Open in June and added another Wimbledon title in July. What was even more surprising was that Roger “Mr. Federer” Federer was not in any of those finals. As a matter of fact Mr. Federer and Divadal only played in two finals all year long. Divadal faced opponents in major finals that had taken out Mr. Federer earlier in the tournaments (Soderling at Paris, Berdych at Wimbledon and Djokovic in New York) and they all lost miserably to Divadal. The Spanish diva was on a mission and without a doubt 2010 was his year. He solidify himself at the number 1 player that he is so far ahead (over 3000 ranking points) that only Mr. Federer can catch him now and he can only possibly do that around April or May at the earliest. Anyway, after the US Open, there have been several small tournaments as well as two Masters Series tournaments (those are just below the majors in prestige…think of it like the playoffs before the Championships) plus Davis Cup (think of it like world tennis championships, country vs country). No one really had a stellar rest of the year with the exception of Mr. Federer who went 21-2 if I am not mistaken. He took some time off after his lost to Novak “D’Joker Harlequeen” Djokovic at the US Open and came back in stellar form. Mr. Federer had some very good wins towards the end of year and he definitely showed promise of lessening that high backhand of his, which Divadal and other players have been spanking all over the court in his now common losses. I think he made it to the semis or better of all his tournament winning three titles and finished off the year thumping Divadal at the year-end Championships to win another title. It was a really great match between the two with Mr. Federer winning in three sets. I do think that as much as Divadal has dominated the tennis year of 2010, Mr. Federer’s 2010 is worth looking at in detail and I say this not because of my fondness for him but because he had a very interesting year.

Mr. Federer finishing the year with a flourish over his rival Divadal

2010 started off very well for him despite as he won the Australian Open spanking Andy “Lochness Monster” Murray off the court. Mr. Federer looked poise to be on a tear. However, he began having uncharacteristic losses and to people that he dominated. What was even worse was that he was losing in early rounds and in nearly all of his matches, he had match points against his opponents. It seemed as if his stock was going down. Divadal was also going through slumps having not won a tournament in nearly a year. Andy “Mr. Brooklyn Decker” Roddick was looking to do damage as he dominated the American hard-court swing in early Spring…hmmm I did like that lil rhyme. Anyway, Mr. Federer was really struggling, he only made it to one clay court final and lost quite rudely to Divadal. At the French Open, he lost in the quarterfinals to Robin “Robin Hood” Soderling, something that he had not done since 2005 or 2004 at any major. One figured that he would have found himself at Wimbledon, a place he enjoyed so much success but even there he lost in the quarters again. Summertime looked like he was going to find his game and make it to the US Open final to win back his crown he lost to Juan Martin “Beast Boy” Del Potro in 2009 but he again lost to D’Joker. I say all this to say that Mr. Federer had a very disastrous year by his own standards but towards the end, he started to pick things up and made it quite clear to the rest of the world that he may not be number 1 right now but he is solidly number 2 and he is working to get back to number 1. Although I do not agree with his coach choice in Paul Annacone, I have seen some new tactics from Mr. Federer that I do like so I hope they prove me wrong. Hopefully 2011 gives us the Mr. Federer of old because come 2012, I think he is going to retire or early 2013. I really do hope he picks up coaching in retirement because I am gonna sign my children up for any academy, anywhere that he opens up.

Andy "Lochness Monster" Murray: I may have lost my way this year.

2010 was all about Divadal rising and Mr. Federer setting but there were two players that want to have 2010 stricken from all history books and henceforth never mentioned again and they are Andy Murray and Andy Roddick, Lochness Monster and Mr. Decker. Now Nessie started off the year right getting to the Aussie Open finals but his match play was absolutely ghastly. I do not think he would have won the match overall but he went out in straight sets like a punk. Mr. Federer handed the lake creature so many gifts to win that 3rd set but the Scottish mythical creature simply refused them all. You figured he was nervous and would build on it for the rest of the year but NOPE. He won only two titles albeit tier 1 but he had some downright bad losses and is currently ranked 5 in the world. Mr. Decker on the other hand, well he has been fading but his 2009 Wimbledon finals match showed the world that he was still a contender. However, despite having a good hard-court session in the US beating Divadal, Robin Hood and D’Joker, he lost to Ivan Ljubicic and Mardy “the ex-whale” Fish. He hardly got past the 3rd round at any of major other than the quarterfinals at Australia (3rd round French, 4th round Wimbledon and 2nd round US Open) he even lost to Dudi Sela of Israel in straight sets on grass. This was not a good year for him. He found a new coach but anyone who knows Mr. Decker, a coach is not something or someone Mr. Decker sees as important to his game. He personifies bone-headed jock at times to the nth degree. Things got so bad for him that he even dropped out of the top ten leaving no Americans amongst the elite players. I have to say that he found some resolve and climbed back in the top ten by the end of the year. However, several other players have made a charge to be the next in line for a major should Divadal or Mr. Federer inexplicably lose in earlier rounds and Lochness Monster and D’Joker sorta cancel themselves out along the way: namely Robin Hood, Tomas Berdych.

Andy "Mr. Brooklyn Decker" Roddick

Meanwhile as on the subject of Fed Cup, I just want to say congratulation to Serbia for winning their first every Davis Cup in their first final. Special shout out to D’Joker and Viktor Troicki who won their matches to give them a 3-2 victory over France who sorely missed Jo-Wilfred Tsonga. D’Joker had a really long season and only got 2 weeks rest before training for the beginning of the this season. If the ATP does not see the need to shorten the season, I do not know what else until players start boycotting the tour. I have to also mention that the USTA announced that multi-major winner Jim Courier has been named US Davis Cup Captain taking over from Patrick McEnroe. Jim will definitely bring a different vibe to the team especially since he is “family.” He sure to spice things up a bit. Even Mr. Decker has said that he is willing to play again for the Davis Cup. He has in the recent past said he cannot play Davis Cup because he wanted to prepare for the majors. Those preparations have been going quite well considering that Mr. Decker has only won one major in 2003. However, he still escapes scrutiny unlike the Williams Sisters who decline to play Fed Cup when they are physically unable to do and they are still winning majors. But I digress…TO SERBIA FOR THEIR DEBUT WIN!!!

Congrats to Davis Cup Champions 2010

Now, the reason why I speak about the women last, is not because I am a misogynist, far from. The real truth of the matter is that the WTA is a real snooze fest. There was some excitement going into the US Open but after Mommie Dearest, the Belgian Waffle Kim Clijsters won, it was a virtual downhill from there on end. Absolutely nothing of conscience happened after the US Open other than the Serenanator nor Venus Williams returned to tour. They have both been battling injuries, so much so that the Serenanator is even back yet on tour and would not defend her Australian Open title this time around. Carolina Wozniacki of Denmark, therefore ascended to the throne as the number one ranked female player in the world. Now I know loads of people are talking about how is it possible she is number one without winning a major. Well people SHUT UP. It’s really not that serious. She played the tournaments and she won, fair and square. She is not cooking up any books a la Wall Street gang and the math is correct. She is the number one ranked player and rightly so deserves to be there. However, I would say that she is number one by quantity and not by quality. The Danish biscuit cannot beat the top players and has no weapons to really trouble top players. She does not strike fear in the heart of the other players as would a Justine Henin, Martina Hingis, Lindsay Davenport, the Williams Sisters, Clijsters and even Maria Sharapova. Actually I am not even going to count Maria anymore because she is being beaten by anyone these days. Carolina did beat a couple of Russians and to be honest, the Russians as talented as they are, do not have a good head in the game, so I am not even counting her two wins over Vera Zvonerava and Elena Dementieva as major assault on legendary status. Nevertheless, she is the number one player and deserves utmost respect from the fanz. The other players on tour I am sure, are not afraid of her. I guess I should mention that Kim won the Year Ending Championships for a third time beating of course Carolina Wozniacki.

Danish Biscuit (current No 1) with Mommie Dearest (the one playing like No 1)

In Fed Cup news, the US got served by the Italians who enjoyed a second straight title. The US was without the Williams Sisters and therefore had to count on players who were all ranked below 60 if I am not mistaken to fill the draw. Mary Jo Fernandez made the US situation even direr by playing Coco Vandeweghe in the opening match against French Open Champion Francesa Schiavone. Fernandez, the team captain said Vandeweghe was playing well in the summer by reaching the quarterfinals of a tournament. Yeah Fernandez, you deserve a gold star for this high level of stupidity. Fernandez benched Melanie Oudin who has shown greater resolve under these circumstances in the past than Vandeweghe who was also making her Fed Cup debut and only 19. Did I mention that before? As a matter of fact Fernandez, I am taking away that gold star. Gurl, you are a Platinum Level Fool. I should add that Schiavone beat Coco’s puff and Oudin when she played Schiavone in the reverse singles, she won the match. In other news, USTA renewed Mary Jo’s contract to continue to be the captain. GO team USA.

Viva Italia

Anyway, as I speak of the Russians I do want to pay a special tribute to Elena Dementieva, so commonly known here as the Demented One. I would have added the tribute to this posting but I do think that she deserves a special write up all on her own. Elena retired from professional tennis in Doha in October 2010 at the end of the year ending championships. So please look forward to that in the next couple of days exclusively on the blog.

Elena Dementieva showing us her all court game! Who knew Russian White fish went well with fresh milk!

So I think that fulfils my obligations for a year ending 2010 wrap up. I know it is late but better late than never. And while we are on the subject of late….Has anyone seen Maria Shriekapova while she is on her way to her comeback. This comeback has been going on for a couple of years now and though the pundits on ESPN claim she is going to be back in the top ten soon, she still comes in at 16. Now I am not all that good at Math but I do know that being 16 in the world is not as close to the top 10 as it is closer to being outside the top 20. But we are not going to deal with that one right now. Love you fanz….see you with the Aussie Open 2011 Preview and Predictions.

You know it wouldn’t be an edition without a Mixed Bag Photo section…

I do not even know where to begin. But we would start from the left. WTF is SCHIAVONE wearing? Is that tree bark? KIM, you got linebacker's shoulders. that dress not for you. VERA, you are a Russian tennis player not a Russian hooker. CAROLINA are we wearing the hotel curtains again. JELENA...seriously? ELENA you look cute but why are you wearing hospital scrubs colors and finally SAM, are you pregnant because you are wearing a tent aka a muumuu?

This is how the men are stepping up their game!! But of course, there is always one in the crowd who is messing up the vibe. David Ferrer in grey looking like a lil NYC subway rat. I mean brother you already the shortest, we not going to miss you. L-R: Divadal, D'Joker, Lochness Monster, somebody we don't care about, Mr. Decker, Mr. Federer, Tomas Berdych aka Lurch, Ferrer aka Ferret and Robin Hood.

Jelena "Fivehead" Jankovic, with with a headband, you still seeing the rest of her fourhead.

RESIDENT HOTTIE

Fernando "Tabasco" Verdasco: So hot, he is spilling all over himself.

RESIDENT NOTTIE:

WTF??

WTFF?

Seriously WTMFFF???? Is Beetlejuice serious with this hair? Who was the stylist? I hope the French are investigating this travesty.

This one is for the special fanz of Beetlejuice. Here he is spreading his legs like a common French whore...

Here is the Serenanator during her down time. Only she can make a cast "sexy" or should I say stylish.

Even the great Mr. Federer can have a faux pas with the fashion. His sock and shoe game is totally off and WTF, why isn't he pushing the stroller?

Oooooo I'm not as cold as you believe... look at the babies..

ATP TOUR… OFF SEASON

After hours special..I bet you wouldn't be surprise that he's French

hey...wanna work out.... I didn't want to hate but I mean Seriously, the stylist should be beaten with this outfit. Is he going for a lil off the shoulder action??

or how about a night cap??

BAM!! In your face

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  1. Fierce and fabulous! Welcome back RTN! But I think that you are a bit jealous of Bettlejuice and his guns. I give you his questionable hair but the man is sexy as can be!

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