Aussie Open 2011: Day 1

In Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, Australian Open, Caroline Wozniacki, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, Kim Clijsters, Li Na, Lleyton Hewitt, Mardy Fish, Maria Sharapova, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tennis, Venus Williams, Vera Zvonareva, Victoria Azarenka on January 18, 2011 at 12:58 am

We are ready! Are you??

So Day 1 has concluded at the Australian Open and in an effort not to be behind. We are going to get straight into the action. I cannot think of anything in particular I want to rant about at this moment but we all know that it does not take much to get this hater rolling. Maria was the first top lady up and she won her match 6-1 6-3 over a player who looks more like Ms. Piggy’s BFF than a player on the WTA.

Wait Ms. Piggy does play tennis too??

Nah...Ms. Piggy does keep in shape because she knows that big gurls got to be flexible if they want to keep their wait their frogs

Although it was a straight set victory, Maria had ten double faults and had she been playing an opponent who was say 30 to 50 to 100 pounds lighter, she would have been out of the Australian Open for I believe a third successive year. She recently dropped her coach of ten years Michael Joyce and picked herself up a new one. Let’s see how this work for her.

Shriekapova with another bad color combination/coordination outfit. Looking like paint samples

Carolina handled herself against a Dulko who many figured could have given her issues…myself included. However, she got through. Dulko made way too many errors and the Biscuit got through 6-3 6-4. This is 15 straight 1st round victories for her at the majors. Venus Williams aka Russ Troll Doll played what some considered to be impressive tennis on the court yesterday when she took out the Italian 6-3 6-2. However, I was not impressed at all. The serve again was unreliable though her ground game was really good. If the Russ Troll not serving well, she is as beatable as a player ranked well outside the top 100. Yeah I know she is rusty but like I said, I am not going to give myself false hope thinking she can win this title with this style of play. There is a potential 4th round encounter between Shriekapova and Russ Troll but I am not sure if either might make it there in particular Maria. As for Doll Dress… I was not feeling it at all. The construction was totally off and it has this satinish sort of finish that I am not a fan of. Hopefully she unveils a new one for her 2nd round match.

She gets a D for this outfit...not feeling it..but played C+ tennis

Hmmm make that a D-

Cheating Justine played Sania Mirza of India and let me just say WOW…HOLY BLOODY WOW for Sania’s forehand…as a matter of fact, the way she was hitting that thing in the first set, it was more like a tenhand. She was blistering the Belgian around the court. That ball was heavy, deep and penetrating. Cheating Justine was on her back leg like the horse she is…I get your pardon. That was a bit much. Forgive me. Anyway Mirza was showing absolutely no respect for Justine and giving it her all. Mirza use to be in the top 40, but loads of issues kept her out both professional and personal. She eventually lost the match 5-7 6-3 6-1 but hopefully, she takes away positivity from this match and we see more of her around the tour. She is a very nice change up. Hopefully she can give Russ Troll the hook up and get her some better weave from her peeps in India because Venus is having an unbeweaveable time with her head for the past 3-4 years now.

Hmmm...Justine...take off the pink bit because it isn't adding a feminine touch to your manly physique at all

Sania showing her guns and missiles

Anyway Cheating Justine is onto the 2nd round as is Li Na/Na Li, Schiabone, Azarenka, Boynetsova, Bartoli who gave her Italian opponent double bagel 6-0 6-0, Vania King (Saw Clown), and journeywoman Jelena Dokic. Do you know that most of the women who are playing for Australia were not born in Australia, I think only Sam Stosur that comes to mind. I don’t get this. I mean this country produced Margaret Court who has 24 major titles and Yvonne Goolagon and they are struggling to find women. However, let’s consider the US, they are not in a better shape. Of the 6 American women who played yesterday, 2 won and four lost. Two of the losers were young Americans and they went out in three sets so there might be some promise…but just some. As a matter of fact, we have been hearing about their promise like forever. But you know what we say here at RFTN, “A promise is a comfort to a fool.” Anyways in the losing category, no real surprises and/or shockers but only two seeds fell of the 16 that played yesterday No17 Aravane Rezai and 28 Daniela Hantuchova. Jarmila Groth formerly of Eastern Europe or somewhere near there but who now plays for Australia also lost.

I'm ready to take on the world

To the menz…

Mr. Federer was just absolutely stellar playing his first round encounter. He won 6-1 6-1 6-3 against a very aggressive opponent, Lukas Lacko of Slovenia who a couple of weeks ago gave Divadal a 6-0 set. Mr. Federer was definitely serving notice that he should not be forgotten during this fortnight. D’Joker was also impressive and he too is serving notice that he can upset things at the top. He demolished his opponent in straight sets 6-1 6-3 6-1. Mr. Decker also won and he too looked in great form. Tomas Berdych also won as did Tommy Robredo, Gilles Simon, Richard Gasquet and Tabasco Verdasco.

I am this close to winning my first Australian Open title

As with the women, the seeded players pretty much played true to form. However, there were two upsets, that of Sam “The Grinch” Querry 18th seed and Nikolay “Smirnoff Vodka” Davydenko 23rd seed who both went out in the first round. There were several 5 set matches that took place on the first day, most notable, Beetlejuice and the Americans Mardy the whale as well as the Grinch. Beetlejuice was at the exit when De Baker of the Netherlands simply lost steam causing the Beetlejuice to pull through in 5 sets. See this is why I do not think that Monfils will ever win a major. Why is he battling with the likes of De Baker in the first round is unbelievable? He wastes so much precious energy instead on conserving energy for the later rounds. This was the first time in 11 5-setters that he finally won. The Grinch was just playing inconsistent throughout the match looking like someone stole his Christmas and now he is out of the Aussie Open singles. Mardy the former whale is battling illness but came back from a 2 set deficit and beat Victor Hanescu of Romania. This was a really good victory for him but I am afraid that he might not get very far as he appeared very lethargic and out of sorts on court.

The Grinch got his comeuppance and was sent packing

Anyway tomorrow, we have to look forward to Divadal’s first match on his way to his possible “Straight Slam” Mommie Dearest vs. Dinada Safina and that HUGE match up of Hewitt vs. Nalbadian…See you folks tomorrow.


Russ Troll Doll

How can I not hate on Venus when she is taking hair style tips from this??



Hate the outfit but it is showing off her best assets on the court

There we have it.. showing those Danish butter biscuits (NB biscuits are called cookies in America)

Yeah I work out... look at my guns...more like pistols but still dangerous (Frank Dancevic of Canada)

Hola...Me llamo Fernando Tabasco Verdasco y yo soy muy caliente


Without fail, it has to be Beetlejuice

2011 has not made this Beetlejuice any easier to swallow

Oooooooo even from this angle..scary


Oracene! Oracene channeling her inner lioness

I dare anyone to tell me that they don't look alike

It isn't a major unless the ladies are crying...Daniela being the first

Oooooo look at the kiddies..Hmmm I wonder where the Aborigine children are? Probably in the back out of shot

High Kick!!

Gosh I really hope that ball boy comes back quickly with the toilet paper

Trying to keep it cool gotta respect this homegurl

Just a bit much...just a tiny bit



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