Late editions Aussie 2011: Day 6

In Alexander Dolgopolov, Andy Murray, Australian Open, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, John Isner, Kim Clijsters, Mikhail Youzhny, Rafael Nadal, Tennis, Vera Zvonareva on January 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm

So “today” is the end of Day 6 and this means that of the 256 men and women (including a couple boys and girls) who stepped up to the plate…well to the court for this year’s Australian Open, there would only be 32 let in the draw for Round of 16 play beginning on Day 7. So the wheat have been separated from the chaff and from here on end, it is time to walk the talk and talk the walk. Tennis is largely an individual sport and so for me, it requires 60% tough mental attitude with 40% true talent. Showing up on court with anything less than this combination might get you a championship here or there, but a player who comes equipped with this correct balance would see his/her name forever engraved in the annals of the sport. However, all that is beside the point when you all are awaiting the newz of the day. I know that I am way behind schedule so let us get up to speed.

Shout outs to faithful fanz BWil, Samz and Mr. Brown

However, before I go any further let me say BIG UP to the very faithful few who have been commenting on the blog, BWil, Samz and Mr. Brown. When RFTN makes it big, you all are going to the top with me. As for the rest who have not gone on the blogosphere, there is still time to get off my Hate List. Don’t forget that it does not take much to get this hater rolling.

So the ladies:
Much has not been said of Vera Zvonareva at this championships. As a matter of fact, this blog had labeled her in the past as “Vera ZvonaZero” because of her constant on-court meltdown. It was never a question of if she is going to breakdown but when during the match she was going to have a full-on cry or as Cam on Modern Family puts it, “a moment.” Did I mention that she’s Russian? Anyway in the past 8 months or so, Vera has got herself together. She had shown flashes of greatness in the past but 2010 was her year. She made it to two consecutive grand slam major finals and though she was deconstructed on the court by her opponents (Serenanator at Wimbledon and Mommie Dearest at the US Open), she made it to the finals, something 126 other women could not say at either event. She has now risen to Number 2 in the world and from the level of play that I am seeing from her at this championships, it is an accolade that she richly deserves. She played Lady Gollum, Lucie Safarova aka the girlfriend of Lurch. Lady Gollum is a tough cookie, inconsistent but can be tough especially as she is a left-handed player. However, Vera held her nerves and she played within herself. Vera does not have a particularly deadly weapon BUT like most Russians (with the noted exception of Maria Shriekapova), she has tennis technique down and with her surging confidence, Vera feels she can take on anyone in the world and win. She is not getting rattled at all on court and the moments in the past when you know she would be opening the tear ducts to let it flow on court, she is showing greater resolve and winning the crucial points. She took out the Czech 6-3 7-6. I did not have her as much of a contender but I am reconsidering my choice at this moment. Vera is looking hot and she is ready to claim her first major.

I'm number 2 in the world. That's right see my two I'm number 2 so you better recognize. BTW, since when K-Swiss became a major player in the sports apparel world?

Vera is on a collision course it seems with Mommie Dearest who she has met in the past two majors. Mommie Dearest was not looking her sharpest on court seemingly thinking about cookies, play dates etc etc as she fought past Alize Cornet of France who I hope is having a resurging career. France sorta needs some tennis hope because you know things are really going south for them when Amelie Mauresmo was their last great hope. No disrespect to France but you know Amelie was a huge choker and Mauresmo’s golden year winning two majors over Cheating Justine (Aussie Open and Wimbledon) in 2006 was an anomaly as a matter of fact, I am going to re-name Amelie Mauresmo Anomaly Mauresmo. But I digress…Anyway Mommie Dearest got through 7-6 6-3. Surprise! Surprise! Sam D’Stove Stosur (5) lost in straight sets 7-6 6-3 to the young Czech upstart Petra Kvitova (25) who you might remember got to the Wimbledon semifinals last year before losing to the Serenanator. This is somewhat of an upset seeing that Stosur has had a good 2010 and is now ranked 5 in the world. I mean she could not even get to the second week for her home crowd. Come on Sam, you can do better. However, truth be told about Stosur is that she is no more than an overrated doubles specialist. She is in her near late 20’s and spent a large part of her career circling the bottom but playing great doubles. She in the past couple of years decided to devote more time to singles and she and her booming serve has moved up the rankings. However, she has shown in the past a la French Open 2010 finals that she is not cut out for the big league. She is losing far too often to no-names and no one is afraid of her on tour.

D'Stove is no longer cooking but I have to give this lil emsemble another nod because it took great effort to feminize this hardware. Check out the lil peep hole accentuating the pecs...I mean the breasts. This my fanz is the epitome of Haute Couture! Kudos to Lacoste!

Anyways, in other wins, Another Czech took out a seeded player when Iveta Besanova took out 16th seed Anastasia long Russian last name (Pavlyuchenkova) in three sets 6-3 1-6 7-5 as Flavia “Penne Pasta” Pennetta took out Israel Shahar “Spearer” Peer the 10th seed also in three sets 3-6 7-6(3) 6-4. Quite disappointing I know for one particular fanz. Peers was not the only seeded player to exit early as Nadia Fatrova of Russia also lost to country woman Ekaterina Makarova 6-2 3-6 8-6. Agnie Radwanska the 12th seed who certainly had no business in the 3rd round as she feigned injury to disrupt the winning flow of Japan’s Kimiko Date-Krumm (Granny Dear) in the 1st round is through to the 4th round when she took out Romanian Simona Halep 6-1 6-2. Shuai Peng of China who I swear commentators on ESPN are calling Feng Shui is also through to the 4th round when she took out Japanese Ayumi Morita 6-1 3-6 6-3. The round of 16 for the ladies is now set.

As the bottom half of the ladies’ draw battle it out, the top half of the men are also at war.

Lochness Monster is on the prowl

Lochness Monster has been moving quietly through the draw as much of the attention is focused on Divadal, Mr. Federer and D’Joker. However, Nessie has had a bad 2010 at the majors coupled with the fact that he has dropped to 5 in the world. So you know he is looking for redemption and winning the Australian Open is a good way to do that. He is lurking in the shadows and his effortless victory over Spain’s Guillermo Garcia-Lopez 6-1 6-1 6-2 shows that he is a relevant threat. Nessie is on course to meet Robin Hood in the quarters and he too can be in the mix as he dispatched his Czech opponent Jan Hernych 6-3 6-1 6-4. Robin Hood hits a huge ball and he too is looking for his first major win.

Dividal seems to be in the Matrix

Divadal also won his match against Bernard Tomic of Australia whose loss ended all hopes for a host country victory as D’Stove wilted yet again in a match that she was suppose to have bloomed but anyway we talking about the menz. Divadal looked stellar in the first set which he took 6-2 but soon found himself broken twice to go down 0-4 in the second. Tomic was on fire as if touched by a Super Mario Bros invincible star as he got the Aussie crowd going blasting Divadal’s shots back at him with interest. He refused to be caught in Divadal’s game of rallies but instead go for his shots and end points quickly. For a moment, it looked like an upset was on folding during the night. Unfortunately, the invincible star’s effect does not last forever and soon Tomic was back to his regular ole self and Dividal laid down the law of being number 1 in the world winning in straight sets 6-2 7-5 6-3. In the press conference, Divadal talking about he was suffering from the lingering effects of the flu which he claimed to have had after he lost to Davydenko in Doha. WTF Divadal? That’s more than two weeks ago. If you are still suffering from the flu at this point, get the hell off the bloody court because you got scarlet fever or something of the sort. Though my mind tells me it is yellow fever, you lil scrotum. The nerve of this Spanish queen to be using such bullshite excuse. I mean seriously?? Fever? He might as well as had said he was having kittens or something because that’s just a pussygalore move for sure. This is why I am not a fan of the Spaniard. He is always with his excuses. If he had lost and said, well I was not playing well etc etc etc, the other player did nothing special. I would have been on board but he had the fever and lingering effects of a fever. Get the fcuk outta here with that garbage. Tomic just had a hot hand at that point during the game. That’s all. It is like in 2009 when he lost to Robin Hood at the French. He was running up and down all over the court, lost and came in the press conference..”my knee” Whatever! He did not show up at Wimbledon that year not because of the knee but because he was embarrassed. Divadal needs to grow up with his creepy looking self. No Divadal, you do not have a fever. You are just giving us fever!

How about we grow a pair??

In other wins, Austrian Jurgen Melzer who has been a sorta journeyman on tour but now enjoying a resurgence in his career especially at the majors, has moved through to the 4th round when Marcos Fatdatis of Cyprus retired from their match in the 4th set with a pinky injury. You read correctly. His pinky was hurt so he had to go home.

Fatdatis hurt his lil pinky. We should invite him over for a tea party

David Ferrer also went on through with a straight set victory 6-2 6-2 6-1. He is looking rather impressive this tournament and is showing why he is 7 in the world. By way of upsets, Alexsandr Dolgopolov of Ukraine in his first Australian Open took out Jo-Willie Tsonga 13th seed in 5 sets, 3-6 6-3 3-6 6-1 6-1 as did Marin Cilic 15th seed who took out John Isner of the US 4-6 6-2 6-7 7-6 9-7 (well this not really an upset but still Americans not happy with this one) and qualifier from Canada Milos Raonic who took out the 10th seed, 2010 US Open semi-finalist Mikhail Youzhny 6-4 7-5 4-6 6-4. Let’s just say that Youzhny represented Russia when he threw away a match that he should have won because he was up in the second set and served for it if I am not mistaken.

Anyway that brings us all square for Day 6. Don’t forget to


There is not much to really report by way of hotties but we would still feature some

How can I resist?

on his back too?? I mean come on..☺

Seems like they cannot resist either. I am about to catch a case! Where is my blade? I tell you these male fanz are aggressive this Aussie Open



I mean look at this…Tomas aka Lurch was not even playing today

Alize Cornet of France stretching her cornish hen. You go us your heteroflexibility

Jurgen Melzer. He not a hottie but a definitely cutie....He can definitely get it!

Viewers’ Discretion and Indulgence for the Nottie List. In my defense I am going to say that the devil made me do it

Lucie Safarova giving me Lady Gollum

Precious? Where is my precious?

Petra Kvitova of Czech giving me a lil Anjelica Huston

a la Witches (I think I may have crossed a line with this one)

Mixed Bag

Alexandr Dolgopolov of Ukraine. A boy who looks like a girl who looks like a boy

I think it is time Cilic invests in a jockstrap

Because he is all over the place...Here is one for the size queens

I think another cat is about to come out of the bag

What I am really worried about is not so much what that woman is doing or about to do between Fatrova's legs but more so what that creepy man is doing there. WTF? Does he fashion himself animal control or some kind of fireman looking to help a scared pussy out of a tree??

Fatdatis is trying to get himself some Melzer toast. See you later baby. I am going to go back to the room and clean up. So see you in an hour right? I would be wearing that lil number you love so much....yeah that one with the ...(girlish giggle). Yeah and we can try putting my pinky in excited can't wait. Love you boo

Answer MUST BE POSTED ON THE BLOG….(First person who posts)

I am so cold on this hot day. Who I am??



  1. That mystery man is Mr. Fatdatis. Can we call him Pinky from now on?

  2. Ok that’s Nessie playing the mysterious game with us.

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