Realz

WIMBLEDON 2011 IS HERE!

In Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, Caroline Wozniacki, David Ferrer, David Nalbandian, Fernando Verdasco, Francesca Schiavone, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, John Isner, Li Na, Mardy Fish, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Melanie Oudin, Na Li, Nicolas Mahut, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Stanislav Wawrinka, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tennis, Tomas Berdych, Venus Williams, Vera Zvonareva, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 22, 2011 at 8:15 am

It is Day 3 of Wimbledon 2011 and I have yet to really produce a full posting. I really don’t know why but I guess this major, I am less willing to forgo sleep as I have in the past. Also the weather is not helping things. Last major, I was ill for the first week so it helped that I was home and could work on the newzletter as I dealt with the seasonal allergies. Anyway, I have to give you an update today because I got sidetracked and extremely tired yesterday in the heat and humidity. I am not going to make any promises as I cannot seem to keep them but I will do my best to rectify these problems as soon as I can.

The smell of grass and the hint of rain....Yes we're in jolly ole England for Wimbledon

So here is a quik update. So it is Day 3 and all the 1st round matches have yet to be completed. It rained on the first day which has seriously delayed things. It also does not help that Wimbledon start match play at 1:00 p.m. instead of the usually 11:00 p.m. They also do not play on the middle Sunday so look for things to get seriously complicated at this year’s championships, which incidentally is the 125th event. So congratulations Wimbledon. Right now as we speak, it is raining. I wonder if English people would ever learn. Why not copy the French and start on a Sunday and/or start earlier. But anyway, let us not digress in this early start of posting.

S2: Overcomed with emotions the Serenanator is back after nearly a year lay off and is in her winning ways

She is also back to getting in your face. You betta chek yourself before you wreck yourself

Anyway, there has been no real major upset of sorts thus far. Russ Troll and the Serenanator are back on tour and they both won their singles matches. I will not comment on their play but let’s just say that we are EXTREMELY HAPPY they are back on tour and winning. The 4 Horsemen of Apocalypse; Mr. Divadal, D’Joker Harlequeen, Mr. Federer and Lochness Monster all came through unscathed though Nessie dropped his opening set but took the last 15 games of the match.

Mr. Federer is poetry in motion.

Monfils aka Beetlejuice finally through some good stuff and won in straight sets. His fellow countrymen Gasquet and Baby Ali are also through to the 2nd round. Last year’s finalist Tomas Berdych aka Lurch also was impressive in his first round win as was Wawrinka of Switzerland, Milos Raonic of Canada and Dudi Sela of Israel. Americans through to the 2nd round are Mr. Brooklyn Decker, Mardy Fish, Ryan Sweeting who came back from 2 sets down to take out Spain’s Pablo Andujar. However, Mr. Sweeting will face another Spaniard in Mr. Divadal in his 2nd round.

Is that Mr. Divadal or his doopleganger?

John Isner aka BFG (Big Friendly Giant) in some of the craziest coincidences ever played Nicolas Mahut again in the 1st round of Wimbledon. However, BFG is a much better player and was not going to dragging his feet again as he won in straight sets. Other winners include resident hotties Fiery Ferrer and Tabasco Verdasco who it seems loves to drop the first two sets and then start playing for the last three. Robin Hood Soderling also won as did Beast Boy Juan Martin Del Potro and fellow Argentine David Nalbandian.

WTF Vee? WTMFF? I can't! I really can't right now. I can't extend my full haterific wing on this lil number here right now. So I am going to halt the hater express and come back to this one tomorrow. Satan I rebuke you right now. I will not say it!

Ladies winners include recent French Open champion LiNaLi, Daniela Hantuchova, Maria Shriekapova, Danish Biscuit, Azarenka (still don’t have a moniker for her) and Francesco Schiabone. Ana Ivanovic former Mrs. Tabasco Verdasco, brutalized American Melanie Oudin aka Dot 6-0 6-1. This is the second major in a row that the American has been flung out of and she only won 2 games between them. Rising stars Andrea Petkovic of Germany and Petro Kvitova also won their matches. Of course other people won but they are not getting featured. Oh yeah I almost forgot about Gloria the Hippo aka Marian Bartoli aka La petite grosse, Vera Zvonareva who also lost a set and Kuzi-Rex aka Boynetsova aka Svetlana Kuznetsova, they also won.

Ana Ivanovic (R) Melanie Oudin aka Dot (L) As for what I really want to say, I am trying to not let Satan control my words but I think Wimbledon should make a special exemption for Oudin and allow her to play in black next time because this white is not flattering at all.

As for losers, well Fivehead aka Jelana Jankovic lost as did Sam “D’Stove” Stosur. Now ordinarily I do not care about Stosur per se. However, it is amazing that she plays so poorly on grass when her game is tailor made for the stuff. She got a huge serve, good ground strokes and she knows how to play at the net. Mind boggling if you ask me. Anyway, James Loser Blake lost early in another event. Maybe it is time for him to pack it up. Anyway Davydenko lost early again (I swear since they accused this guy of cheating, his tennis has gone off the wall) Marin Cilcic who has serious potential lost to his countryman Ivan Ljubicic.

Fabulous hair Mirka but just flabs everywhere else. Get it together and get yourself to a gym. Or is that you are pregnant again?

I think that’s about it and you are all up to date. Sometimes I wonder if I do not make this whole blog/newzletter posting a lot bigger than it is. Once I am finish, it seems so easy but working on it takes a lot of time especially the big picture show. I think I can only do a few pictures today.

I think this Brooklyn Bridge is in a state of disrepair....

Fcuk this Where's Waldo shite, what I want to know is Where the fcuk is the prisoner guards because these two itches just escaped from fashion jail.

Way too easy....too easy

baby baby baby baby Aliiii

WOW! Holiday with the Hags! Even this one scared me

So bye for now as I lurk in the bushes. See you tomorrow hopefully if there is any tennis because of the rain

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  1. Welcome back!!! I’ve been waiting for the next installment (although I thought it was going to be the big publication for RG). I disagree with you about Russ Troll’s outfit, She’s making it work and it looks totally cute. I am in full agreement with you about Dot’s outfit. They really should make an exception for her. Is that muscle, fat, or a baby she’s packing in there? I am too scared to find out the answer and would much rather she throws on some jet black clothes!

    And stop hating on Mirka! She looks fabulous! Granted, the sweater dress shirt combo isn’t working and makes her look fuller. She’s also not splinter thin like she used to be but she’s got curves and they look lovely.

  2. How about we thank God for small miracles before we start going on about expecting bigger packages? Don’t make me put you on blast now! No no no I kid! I kid! You are one of the truezt fanz ever. I will agree to disagress on Russ Troll’s outfit though I have to say the hair is in better shape this time around. However, I have will admit that I look at it more and more, I am hating on it less and less. As for Dot, I am going to leave that alone. Mirka has more than curves…she has circles and spheres. That lil combo was not flattering in the least BUT yet again…THAT HAIR… WORK! I need to know what products she puts in that hair.

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