Realz

Wet Wimbledon 2011: Days 3 and 4

In Agnes Radwanska, Andrea Petkovic, Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, David Ferrer, David Nalbandian, Fernando Verdasco, Francesca Schiavone, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, John Isner, Li Na, Lleyton Hewitt, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Stanislav Wawrinka, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tennis, Tomas Berdych, Tsvetana Pironkova, Venus Williams, Vera Zvonareva, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 24, 2011 at 8:22 am

Rain again disrupted play and all eyes was focused on Center Court as 5-time champion Venus Williams take on Kimiko Date-Krumm. They are two of the veterans on tour with the American just turned 31last Friday and Date-Krumm looking towards her 41st birthday.

The Senior ladies Tour??

The match was the only one being played as Center Court is the only court with a retractable roof. Now you have to understand that when there is a retractable roof, the game changes as you are no longer outdoor with the conditions of the weather to aid and/or annoy you but playing indoor in a stilled air, cavernous chamber. Venus came out very lackluster and soon found herself down 1-5. Date-Krumm was on fire. It seemed that she was ready for the upset.

Being stretched to the limit

Venus has never lost to anyone on Center Court but the Serenanator and it looked like Date-Krumm was going to change that. However, they don’t call her Ebony Starr for nothing as she reeled off 5 straight games to go up 6-5. She had set point on Date-Krumm’s serve but the Japanese was not having that and took it to a tie-break. Again it was the same story, DK was out 6-2 when the American came back and leveled it 6-6 but she will go on to lose the next two points and the first set. The crowd was buzzing as it seemed that the Grass Court Queen was going to go out to a granny.

Itch this is my house!!! You have Alzheimer's? Do you know who I am?

Venus kept her composure and soon the 2nd set and an early break in the 3rd set were in her hand. But we are talking about Venus here and no one loves to play tight rope tennis like the American, so you know she gave back the break. The match stayed on serve and soon it was 7-6 to the American. Being the true champion that she is, Venus decided enough was enough and broke DK for the victory 6-7 6-3 8-6. This was easily the best match of the tournament so far. I have to say that the quality of the match was really good and very entertaining all around.

Ebony Starr in she granny pants suit

So finally the rain let up and play began on the outer courts. Petra Kvitova aka “Grand High Witch” beat ever British hopeful Anne Keothavong in straight sets. Keothavong’s brother is also an ATP/WTA chair umpire. If you ever see an Asian looking guy with a British accent, that’s Anne’s big brother. Anyway, Zvonareva beat her sometimes doubles partner, Elena Vesnina in straight sets. However, she is not looking sharp at all for someone who has made it to last year’s final. Other winners include Andrea Petkovic, Agnes Radwanska, Sabine Lisicki, Julia Georges, Dominika Cibulkova (former gf of Beetlejuice…EHhhhhh I know), Victoria Azarenka, Daniela Huntochova and Tsetvana Pironkova who took out Venus last year in the quarters and could face her again in the Round of 16 if she can beat Zvaonareva and Venus gets past her Spanish opponent. American Bethanie Mattek-Sands, (seeded 32 or 30…I more so think she is seeded 30) who created all that nonsense publicity with “Gaga Tennis outfit” lost in the first round. Are we surprised? I don’t think so.

Mattek-Sands in her tennis outfit. If there is any justice on court, they would allow me to go on court and just beat she with this jacket until I am weary. Can you believe this shite?

Day 4 for the ladies was catch-up time as some players had to play two days straight. The talk of the town was whether the Serenanator was ready for Wimbledon as she has been off for nearly a year. She had an emotional win in the first round against French woman Avarane Rezai and now face another upstart Romanian Simona Halep. Halep came out on first and she was pushing the Serenanator around on court like a rag doll. However, the Serenanator who came out with a ponytail put her hair in a bun because she was ready for a fight. She lost the first set 3-6 and said, “Ok! You showed me what you can do. Now let me show you what I can do!” Halep won only three more games, losing the match 3-6 6-2 6-1. Now so face watching the championships in regards to the arrival of Venus and Serena back on tour, I have to say that I noticed a calmer demeanor from them both. They are not making a big fuss when things go wrong and also they are correcting their errors. However, they are very tentative at times and are not playing the aggressive style we are use to but it is still early and a lot more tennis to come.

The Serenanator showing backbone?!!

A “major” upset took place yesterday as NaLiNa 3rd seed lost to Sabine Lisicki of Germany (Ms. Lisicki is a 1st generation Polish). After recent success on the red stuff, NaLiNa (I have to say that I am getting tired with the name bit. I really want to call her Chun Li but that might be offensive…Don’t you think? I think I am going to call her Chun Li until someone says otherwise.) Anyway Chun Li had recent success on the red stuff and now had to make the adjustment on grass. Chun Li is a competent player and looking at the match yesterday, she had that match in the bag. Though she lost the first set, she was all over that ball in the 2nd set, which she won and in the 3rd, at least in the earlier part of the set. She had two match points and served for the match but seemed to have lost her way. Earlier this month, Lisicki was so overcome with nerves when she had Vera Zvonareva on the ropes at the French Open, that she had to be removed by stretcher off the court. She was a howling hot mess! It was Chun Li who was all jubilant at the French but here at Wimbledon, things reverse. It was Chun Li who the hot mess as she became upset over a bad call in the last few games on the match, had to replay a point she had won before the call, and now, is probably on some stretcher in a psyche ward wondering how she lost a match that was in her hand.

Lisicki with tears of joy at this major

Two other seeded players lost as well Radwanska (13) and Lucie Safarova (31).  Other winners include Melinda Czink who took out Sam “D’Stove” Stosur is still alive and so is Ana Ivanovic who is usually out of majors at this time. She is through to the 3rd round as is Schiabone, Fatrova, Wickmayer, Kuzi-Rex, Maria Kirilenko who will face the Serenanator.

Anyway, we are running out of time so I will get to the menz..

Day 3’s limited action saw Mr. Divadal, Mr. Brooklyn Decker, D’Joker Harlequeen, Tomas Berdych aka Lurch and Lochness Monster handling their business. They all won in straight sets and look rather comfortable though I have to put an asterisk next to Lochness Monster. Something tells me he is going to be bounced before the quarters. There is something off about him this year. I have to give the American men a shout out because they have been showing some good stuff as of late. Mardy Fish former Whale also won in straight set as did Alex Bogomolov Jr (a semi veteran and journeyman…usually playing challengers..think minor league of tennis) Bogo took out the 25th seed Juan Ignacio Chin-Chela.

Ginger Snap! Here is a picture of Bogo. Unlikely you might see him again in these parts of a major

Milos Raonic, a favourite here in these parts, crashed and burned as he injured himself in the first set of his match and had to retire. Fernando “Tabasco Verdasco” Verdasco (21), resident hottie here, was looking more like ketchup as he lost in 4 sets. I do not know what the hell is up with him but this year has been rather dismal. His level of play is so poor it is almost as if he wants to lose each match.

Tabasco Verdasco is turning into more of a sour condiment these days. Nonetheless, he still a hottie and superficiality never ever goes amiss here at RTF.

Meanwhile his countryman Feliciano Lopez and Frenchmen Richard Gasquet and Beetlejuice won their matches to move through to the 3rd round. Another upset was Stanislav Wawrinka who will not heed my advice and get his fat @$$ to a gym. He lost to lucky loser (you lost in final round of qualifying but got placed in the main draw because a main draw entrant pulled out) Simone Bolleli. Bolleli it seems is making a business of this LL bit as he was a LL at the French and made headways in the draw. Now he is in the 3rd round of Wimbledon when he did not even qualify to be here. It’s like a gate crasher upstaging the birthday boy!” Funny business indeed. Unfortunate newz for a special fanz who likes to keep up with the Israeli tennis happenings, Shahar Peer who lost early here will have company as Dudi Sela lost in straight sets to Frenchman Gilles Simon 7-6 6-4 7-5.

Ehummm. Another day!

On Day 4, which again saw limited action. However, there was an epic match on Center Court as Robin Hood took on Dingo Dog Llyton Hewitt. Hewitt, champion here in 2002 and the last non-Federer/non-Nadal winner of these championships was up 2 sets and a break. It seemed for all the world that the Swede was about to be bounced out of the hood. However, real hood don’t go out like a punk and Hood held his own and took the 3rd set 7-5.

Things were about to fade to black for this gangsta

The rest of the match was very high quality not that it wasn’t before and the Aussie was done in again by his lack of serving ability. He lost the 4th and 5th sets 4-6 4-6. I know a lot has been spoken about Hewitt recent fall from grace and much is said about his “slowness” on court now that he is older. However, I think the real problem for Hewitt is his serve. He never had a good serve and his first service percentage is abysmal. Against the big hitters who dominate the top 10 and as well as throughout the entire field, they simply snack away on his 2nd serve as though rice cakes. Anyway, I give him 2 more years on tour if not one because I think Becky Cathwraight or whatever his wife’s name is, she is going to be putting a stamp on all the traveling and demand that he stay home. Look for Hewitt in 2-3 years to be fat, balding with a ton of kids at his ankles and his wife up and went off with some other guy. She is biding her time.

Adios mate...

Anyway, D’Joker Harlequeen and Mr. Federer were absolutely stellar in their matches though Mr. Federer had to play well into the English night as the Soderling/Hewitt match and Chun Li/Lisicki match all went the distance. Why Wimbledon start play at 1 p.m. is beyond me?

Flying through his matches

It's more like a warm up session than an actual match you know

Beast Boy aka Juan Martin Del Potro who lost the first set on Day 3 but match was suspended till Day 4 came out like a beast against the diminutive Oliver Rochus. Rochus took the first set on Day 7-6 but on Day 4, Beast Boy gnawed him up like a piece of beef bone only surrendering 5 games 6-7 6-1 6-0 6-4.

Seriously?? Seriously?? He doesn't even get to his shoulder. I guess in the rematch David got his @$$ handed to him by Goliath.

Meanwhile Fiery Ferrer is locked in a battle with American Ryan Harrison. The Spaniard has to win in 5 set as he is down 1-2 sets. However, he has a break in the 4th. Can the American upset the 7th seed. Marcos Fatdatis former semifinalist is through to the 3rd round as is another former semifinalist here XXX-Man aka Xavier Malisse. Fernando Gonzalez of Chile is back on tour after being out for a significant portion of last year into this year. He is also through to the 3rd round as is David Nalbandian a former finalist (he lost to Hewitt in 2002). Nalbandian will face Mr. Federer in the 3rd round. Unfortunately John Isner aka BFG lost to Nicolas Almagro. I was really hoping that BFG made something of these championships but alas, I hope in vain.

A refreshing moment...ahhhhhhh

(Can't talk right now!)

A lot of matches were suspended because of delays caused by the rain. Nevertheless, you are all caught up now. Day 5 will see Mr. Divadal, Lochness Monster, Venus (I don’t have the heart to call her Russ Troll as she got the hair together and I don’t want to call her Crackhead anymore. So it is Venus for now. Wait I am going to call her Ebony Starr…those are her middle names)

BIG PICTURE SHOW

I always knew he could dip it low. Ah..I would like to point that I think Harlequeen is sorta missing the point here.

Sometimes you just can't find the right hole.

Oh that's why they call it a Vee

Ebony Starr gurl... I think you are being extra with this now.

You do the hokey pokey and shake it all about

Is she homeless or something? Why is she wearing so much clothing? Or is the extra coat for Mr. Federer?

Seems like Brooklyn reads our lil publication because she has cleaned up very nicely indeed

What is he doing on court with Baby Ali? Do I have to go cut a motherfcuker now?

Security fail!

Frustration fail

Skanks fail!

Speaking of skanks..Camilla Parker Boyles now The Duchess of Cornwall and Patron Living Saint and Inspiration for all the "Mistress/Other Woman" there are in the world

And this is just fail... I mean WTF is he doing? Why am I seeing his pubes?

See you tomorrow. Hopefully there is no rain!


 

 

 

 

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