Realz

Wetter Wimbledon 2011: Day 5

In Andrea Petkovic, Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, David Ferrer, Francesca Schiavone, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, Mikhail Youzhny, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Tsvetana Pironkova, Venus Williams, Vera Zvonareva, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 25, 2011 at 6:19 am

Day 5 again brought the rain and play was again halted and eventually suspended. Nonetheless there was action on the courts and much of it was magnificent indeed. For the ladies, Victoria Azarenka was sloppy in her win over Daniela Hantuchova who had seemed poised to do well here as she had good results in the very short grass court season prior to the start of Wimbledon. However, we all know she is a big ole flop and never worth betting on. Maria Shriekapova had another local favourite challenger in the form of Laura Robson of Great Britain who seemed on her way to an upset as she raced to a 4-1 lead in the first set but again she faltered and was sent packing as the Russian Banshee won in straight sets.

That's not a relax look on Shriekapova's face. She's clueless as she is about to play up at net. She's not even watching the ball.

Ebony Starr Williams was twinkling in her match against Spain’s Maria Jose Martinez-Sanchez. Ebony Starr came out blistering as she surrendered only 2 games 6-0 6-2. However, she next faces Tsetvana Pironkova who has twice knocked her out of a major including last year’s Wimbledon. Pironkova ranked in the top 30’s is a mostly C level player but ever so often she can come up with some brilliant and bothersome tennis. She is left handed so she can give you a lot of junk ball. She already dismantled the #2 seed in Vera Zvonereva in straight sets 6-2 6-3. Vera is going to lose all those points she won last year having made it to the finals.

Ebony, how about we put this outfit in a fitted plastic bag and never let it out again?

I am sorry this thing is just atrocious. It's an old lady's pant suit. You know it is made of lace right. I mean it looks like someone cut up a bloody tablecloth and sewn together by animals a la Cinderella.

Meanwhile Danish Biscuit, raced to the 3rd round as her match was delayed due to rain and Marion Bartoli aka Gloria the Hippo aka La Petite Grosse and I am also liking Fatoli or even Fatrolli or BarTROLLi (I am really sorry I am not really trying to be very mean but every time I look at Bartoli she just never give me the sense she washes up)…I think that is too much even for the Hippo to carry. Anyway, the point of me mentioning her is that she won her 2nd round match. She took out Dominguez of Spain in 3 sets. Gloria is a big gurl and she is a hard worker. So she might be making some noise in London. Let’s not forget that she made it to the finals in 2007 knocking out…demolishing the then in great form Justine Cheating Henin. However, she met Ebony Starr Williams in the finals and well ES won her 4th Wimbledon crown.

Well slap me silly and call me Suzie, here is Gloria looking all cleaned up! Well I am going to say it, you look very nice indeed. You could have chosen a different dress to bring out the girls a bit more but I understand your effort to be modest.

Yanina Wickmayer of Belgium is trying to carry the flag for her country as Mommie Dearest was forced to pull out of Wimbledon with ankle injury. So Yanina who I swears looks more like a Yannick took out another androgynous being in the like of Svetlana Kuznetsova aka Boynetsova aka Kuzi-Rex…I rather like Kuzi-Rex.

Tell me she doesn't look like a dinosaur? Kuzi-Rex

Andrea Petkovic another ladyboy, lost which can be seen as somewhat of an upset. She is one of those young guns who everyone predicts can win a major soon or at least contend. I, on the other hand, just find her bloody annoying especially with that stupid dance she does when she wins a match. I am always happy when someone takes her out so as I do not have to see her moving around on court like some goobling turkey. She lost in straight sets to another up and coming Russian Ksenia Pervak or something like that. Never heard of her before but I guess I have now. Anyhow, quietly moving through the draw is another Russian, Nadia Fatrova. She can be problematic when she wants to but mostly she loses when the stakes are high. I think that is about it for the ladies….Oh yeah… Schiabone was locked in a battle against Austrian Tamira Paszek. It seems that it is not a major unless Schiabone finds herself in some long arduous match. Apparently she forgets that she is old. She does have this ability to pull out a win in these matches, which fuels her for the rest of the tournament and she is slowly making herself a name to contend with at majors. However, I think this luck will soon run out because I really hate to hear her make those ridiculous grunting sounds on court as if she is suffering from TB; this weird wheezing rattling sound. Nonetheless, if it gets here through the point, let her do it.

By the way, there has been much talk about the “grunting” in tennis and I have a lot to say about it but not going to go into all that right now. However, I will say that I do not give a flying fcuk about what they are doing on court. They can grunt as long and hard as they want to. It really is not that serious. This whole new talk of talking about the “grunting in tennis” is rather sexist and ridiculous. The argument is largely skewed to one side; the women.

Men grunt all the time. Mr. Divadal, Harlequeen, Gustavo Kuerten etc. They are always grunting but whenever the talk of grunting comes up, they are always citing female players. It is rather ridiculous. Wimbledon is talking about banning grunting altogether. Let them try. I swear I will organize a boycott.

See, I did not want to go on about it just now but it really infuriates me every time I hear the topic come up for discussion. It is stupid. Humans always make noise/sounds whenever exerting great effort. I think part of the issue has to do with sex, not in terms of gender but in terms of intercourse. Notice whenever the topic of grunting comes up it is mostly men who are talking of banning it and they point to women especially ladies like Victoria Azarenka and Maria Shriekapova. The thing is that they are imagining sexual intercourse because it is during that activity that women make “these ridiculous” sounds (So I have heard and seen on television) The idea of women’s sexual liberation frightens most men. They hate to think that a woman is getting off without them. Hence why they really hate lesbians especially the Rosie O’Donnell kind and constantly say stupid shite like “Portia di Rossi just needs a stiff c….wait a minute, this blog has a mostly PG13 rating. Don’t want to step it up just now.) Notice that “straight” porn always has a lesbian scene and the sex is orchestrated by men for the enjoyment of men. The implication is always given that the “lesbians” are not munching on carpets or as my mama says “licking swallow plate” because they want to, it is because they are “made” to. There are never any gay male scenes in “straight porn” despite the fact that a lot allegedly straight men engage in some type of homosexual behavior (THEY DO) AND a lot of “gay porn stars” are in fact “straight” with wives and everything; gay for pay they call it….I always thought that you were a hooker when you are being paid for sex hmmm…(Meanwhile stupid fools like me, doing it for free) The ladies who are “grunting” are sounding very sexual indeed and they are being aggressive, take charge and getting it on. They are also very very stylish, in fashion and revered as sexual idols but they always in full control of their own “orgasms.” This is driving men and by that I mean “heterosexual men” crazy it seems. No one dares tell Lebron James to “shut the fcuk up” when he is on court. I heard one critic cite Roger Federer as being the example for players who do not “grunt.” First off Mr. Federer does make sounds on court and secondly, there is a lot of things Mr. Federer “does do” that others do not, par example, he does not sweat and his hair is never ever EVER out of place. It is almost as if he can command the winds. Anyway, I think I have said enough about the subject for now. All I want to say is let the women be. If it is wasting energy, it is their energy. If you find it annoying, either just deal or go home and watch the match on a muted television. I mean seriously, I swear some people really need to add more fiber or perhaps add laxative to their diet because they are back up and shit just flowing upwards to their mouths instead of out their @$$; verbal diarrhea. But then again, I really think there are people whose @$$holes are below their noses.

Fancy Free FeFe Lopez.

Anyway to the menz’s action on Day 5. Feliciano Lopez ex boyfriend of Mr. Divadal took out Mr. Brooklyn Decker in straight sets 7-6 7-6 7-4. It was a rather clean match between the two with a combination of 23 errors, Lopez only making 7 throughout the entire match. However, I think that is mostly because both players are big servers and win a lot of points on serve. Anyway, I have to say that I am thoroughly disappointed with Mr. Brooklyn Decker because I am sick and tired of seeing him bouncing out early at majors. Since his runner up at Wimbledon in 2009 (An absolutely epic match), he has played 7 majors and only made it past the 4th round once and that was only to the quarterfinals where he lost. Besides the French Open, Mr. Brooklyn Decker’s game is well suited for all the other surfaces and has made it to at least the semis to each of them on several occasions. His service is rock solid and yet he finds himself in tie breaks and losing the set. (He only won 4 points during the tie breaks in his lost to Lopez).

Another dejected Mr. Brooklyn Decker. There is something odd about this picture... Can someone tell me why?

I swear Andy is a jock of the worst kind. This is the same nonsense that happened to him last year at Wimbledon when he went out to Lu of Taiwan. When will he learn that he needs to be more aggressive on his return game. He can afford to take chances then especially since he is virtually guaranteed to hold his own serve. Andy when I say take chances, I do not mean to rush to net because we know how disastrous those efforts have been for you in the past. If you keep chipping away at your opponents’ game, eventually you will get that break, which is exactly what Lopez did to you. There were only 3 breaks of serves in the match, two of which were neutralized as they came in the 1st, there was none in the 2nd set and Lopez had the lone crucial break in the 3rd. I know I am always hating on Mr. Decker but you know I only hate judiciously and I really do think that he is far from being the model of mediocrity that he has lately taken up with being.

Rumour has it that Judy Murray, Mama Lochness Monster calls the Spaniard Deliciano Lopez; that ole cougar! But gurl, we ain't mad at you at all. You got taste but we are going to call him FeFe here okay. Deliciano sounds like a stripper name and well we are classy here in these parts and don't consort with strippers. Nevertheless, they say the proof is tasting and I am not going to lie, I would take me a bite of this any day.

There's the Cougar...Cougy Judy

Anyway, Lochness Monster had some issues with Ivan Ljubicic a dangerous floater from Croatia but pulled through in 4 sets. He was very much on the brink of going into a 5th set but pulled it out. In other wins, Bernard Tomic of Australia took out Igor Andreev, boyfriend of Maria Kirilenko in 5 sets. Tomic was down 2 sets to love and pulled it out. It should be noted that Tomic is a qualifier. Jurgen Melzer of Austria took out Dmitry Tursanov, the Russian American in 4 sets in a carried over match. I really do think Wimbledon have to figure out a way to deal with the rain delays because it is really hard especially on the men to have to play one match over several days and then come back the next day to play the next round. They have to play best of 5 sets. That’s really difficult on bodies and minds. Richard Gasquet took out Italian Simone Bolleli who saw his luck ran out.

Lochness Monster lurking out in the deep

Anyway, these were for the most part, the only matches completed as rain came pouring down. Lurch who was in full control of the match against American Alex Bogomolove Jr, saw his match delayed as did Mr. Divadal who had just won the first set in a tie break against Gilles Muller, the last person whose name is not Mr. Federer to beat him here. In 2005, lefty Muller handled Divadal in the 2nd round. Since then, however, Muller was been forgotten and Divadal has made it to the finals or better at Wimbledon. Beetlejuice is also locked in a battle with Lukas Kubot of Poland I think (too lazy to check…it’s either Poland or Czech Republic…I have to check…yeah, he is from Poland) Anyway, they are all tied at a set a piece, 3 games all deuce!. LOL I say they both have an equal chance of winning on Day 6. Anyway, that’s it for Day 5. I wanted to make a combination of Days 5 and 6 but it seems I really went on a tangent so I have to split them up I think.

Mrs. Lochness Monster, though slimmer than Mrs. Federer, I say Mirka got the fashion thing down better than this one. Where did she get this frock from and is that curtain drapes lace trimming? And seriously, you need to stuff that frock into that bag and stuff that into a garbage. You get a big E for Egregious!

Is that Ronald Weasley?? He looks really dirty. Tergeo! Should do the trick

She not serious right? I mean I understand wanting to hide that ridiculously ugly top looking like someone attacked her with a bouquet of flowers but she does she have a winter coat on in June?

Anyone care for a meal? A side of ham?

How about some sushi?

How about some dessert? A banana split with a cherry on top

I am almost choking myself as I clutch my "pearls" at how beyond common this is; just simply base level. I think the Indians call them "Untouchables" I am so happy they at least have the decency to hide their faces

AND JUST IN TIME FOR GAY PRIDE

Wurk it!

My My, I think we have a tranny on tour

Ladyboy

WOW you have a lot of cheek and nerves to be exposing your ballz like that

Ah young love.

My endless love

Ah sorry... there's no sex on the Center Court room okay.....Mr. Divadal fix your face. You're in mixed company

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