Wimbledon 2011: Catching up on Saturday Day 6

In Caroline Wozniacki, David Ferrer, Francesca Schiavone, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, Lleyton Hewitt, Mardy Fish, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Mikhail Youzhny, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Wimbledon on June 26, 2011 at 6:37 am

Danish Biscuit took out the newly divorced Jarmila Gajdosova in straight sets 6-3 6-2. She is looking to be on form for her first major. However, I still think she is not ready yet for a major. She does not have that special something to make a difference over a two week tournament and there are other women on the tour with more experience and talent to contend with than she can handle. Nevertheless, she is still in the tournament so that means she has a shot at winning it. The Serenanator too, dispatched her opponent as Maria Kirilenko never had a chance during the entire match. I think she only had one break point opportunity which she could not even convert 6-3 6-2. The Serenanator is really playing herself into the championships. Maria Shriekapova also had an easy time against Czech Zakopolova 6-2 6-3.

The Serenanator is back

There were two ladies matches on the day that had some interesting antics on the court. Dominika Cibulkova was playing Julia Goerges of Germany. The ex-girlfriend of Beetlejuice (she claimed she was dycnotized) won the match in three sets. However, Goerges rounded out the umpire for mispronouncing her name calling her “Gorgeous” instead of “Gor-geez” She was trying to get all up in his grill but unfortunately it was she who was bbq as she lost 3-6 in the third. The other bit of court drama came from Gloria the Hippo who was playing Flavia Penne Pasta Pennetta. When Penne Pasta took the first set 7-5, Fatoli got really really upset and shouted for her father/coach who always sits in the players’ box by himself, to get out. That’s right, she tell the man to get out of the stadium and you know what he did? I would not have believed it if I did not see it for myself, he packed up his shite and left. WOW, had that been my parents, I would have been forwarding you this newzletter via facsimile from heaven LOL. Who am I kidding, you know I would be in hell where there’s internet. LOL. Anywho, it seemed to have worked because La petite grosse pulled off the win and is through to the round of 16.

Papa, you need to get up on outta here! Pack your shite and move the fcuk on NOW! (She what I mean. She always looks untidy)

Day 6 was not a good day for the Italians as Schiabone’s luck ran out. She has as of late been playing herself into a corner so to speak and thinking she got the stamina to play herself out of it. However, she came up the Austrian Tamira Paszek who was not having any of that and willing to play toe to toe with the bambino. Schiabone who served for the match was caught up in another marathon and her race was ran as she could not hold on. She lost the match 3-6 6-4 11-9. Perhaps next time around, she would look to deliver the death blow a lot earlier and stop toying with players as she’ll only end up getting played.

Francesco Schiabone, not the cutest ladyboy around. I swear her rib is sticking out more than her "pecs"

In other wins, Sabine Lisicki of Germany followed up her upset win with another win and moved into the Round of 16 as did Shuai Peng of China who now carries the flag for the Chinese. She took out Melinda Czink who had taken out Sam D’Stove Stosur in the first round. Ana Ivanovic lost early again against a relative no name in Petra Cetkovska. Since winning the French in 2008 and making it to the Aussie Open final earlier in the year, Ana has plained all 13 majors since and never progressed passed the 4th round and if I am not mistaken, she only got to the 4th round like three of those 10 majors. She is looking a lil skinny if you ask me and no doubt dealing with some mental issues with her seemingly inexplicable bad form. I think it is time we dubbed her Ivanovic the Terrible. Anyway, while on the subject of terrible play, it has just made it to my ears that Dinara Safina has taken an indefinite leave of absence from the tour. I am sorry to hear that. She is a really good player. No doubt injury and self doubt as well as rubbish talk from commenthaters all led to this decision. I wish her the best.

Ivana the Terrible

She is definitely looking a bit malnourished

She use to be a lot fuller like here

Regarding the menz, well Diviadal…I mean Mr. Divadal had to finish up his match against Gilles Muller and again it seemed as though he could not get pass the Luxembourger’s serve and they were locked in another tiebreak. Mr. Divadal pulled it out and quickly solved that problem as he did not drop another game and quickly raced to the 4th round 7-6 7-6 7-0. Mr. Divadal is really looking to start a streak here at Wimbledon, he is 17-0 here at Wimbledon, having last lost in the 2007 finals against Mr. Federer, bearing in mind that he did not play in 2009 as he was to embarrassed when he lost the French Open to Robin Hood Soderling. Do not believe that bullshit about him having knee issues. Whenever, Mr. Divadal is losing he calls injury. Of course he used that tactic against Muller calling the trainer on court. He did the same thing against Mr. Federer in the French Open final. Called out the trainer when Mr. Federer was up 5-2. I do not like that sort of play from Mr. Divadal, he is too old and experienced to be pulling those cheap stunts. It speaks rather ill of him.

I know you really telling me to kiss your @$$ but I have to say, your waist is not at your navel or near your throat okay. Pull that girdle down gurl.

Mr. Divadal was not the only player to have to finish up his match as Beast Boy finished off the Frenchman Gilles Simon and Lurch dusted off the American Alex Bogomolov Jr. Beetlejuice who was locked in a tight battle with the Pole Kubot lost in 4 sets. 3-6 6-3 6-3 6-3. Yet another underwhelming performance at a tournament for the French beast. I think Monfils should take up another sport because he is not really making much headways in tennis. And for heaven’s sake, get those bloody teeth fixed.

Beetlejuice went away...ahhhhh

Mr. Federer played a very tactical match against an old nemesis, David Nalbandian of Argentina. Nalbandian at one point owned Mr. Federer but has struggled as of late to get past the Swiss Master. Mr. Federer is looking impeccable so far and his serve is really holding up. He dealt with the Argentine in straight sets. D’Joker Harlequeen was having a tough time with Marcos Fatdatis and almost ended up in a 5 setter but he dealt with the chubby cubster in 4 sets. Fadatis is a really good player and he has made it to the semifinals of Wimbledon in the past but that was the past when he could see past his waistline. Nevertheless, though the pundits want to make this Wimbledon a Mr. Divadal/Mr. Federer affair, I would not sleep on Harlequeen. He is being very stingy went it comes to losing points and he is determined to win matches at any cost. I give him a chance to win the title but you know I will never back him over Mr. Federer.

D'Joker Harlequeen is willing to work you over on court for the win

And does he ever work it out on court. Look at the accessories

Meanwhile his so called girlfriend up in the stands looking like some air hostess. Sweety, you just a beard and you trying way too hard. Why don't you go do something useless like get us some peanuts and a stiff drink because that scarf is simply giving me a headache.

Anyway Hood got the Aussie beatdown that Dingo Dog Hewitt was unable to do in the previous round. Apparently hampered by the long arduous match against Hewitt, Hood Soderling came out very very flat against Australia’s Bernard Tomic. Tomic, a qualifier had to play three rounds of qualifying before he got into the main draw so he has played a lot of tennis. He dispatched the Swede as though he were the one ranked 5 in the world and not 158. Hood in his defense was not 100% and had the trainer out to assist but in the end he could not get it up to get over the Aussie.

Well pardon me Sir... hmmm

OOOKAY...Who gives a shit if you lose but look at those abs...Not gonna hate! I am jealous.

In other wins, Fiery Ferrer is still bringing as he took out Karl Beck in straight sets. Jurgen Melzer, the 11th seed is out when he lost to Xavier Malisse aka XXX-Man.

Jurgen Melzer is always having a meltdown on court.

Mardy Fish former whale is the lone American man as he made to the Round of 16 when Robin Hasse retired. Michael Llodra of France took out Yen-Hsun Lu in straight sets and Mikhail Youzhny defeated Spain’s Nicolas Almagro. So you are all caught up in the affairs and set for this MAGNIFICENT/MONSTER MONDAY at Wimbledon when all the remaining players are on court for the Round of 16.

Mardy Fish former Whale is definitely not floundering on the grass this year

Mama Williams...well it's Mama Price... We stealing from movie sets now? You need to give back the Wiz their wig and Harry Potter needs his glasses. He can't see without them....get it together m'am.

I mean come on now. You really insisting on coming outside looking like this here? It's not okay. Definitely not okay.

Beast Boy....he needs to be sheered

That's right you can do it... don't forget to point your toes

Up up up

It's a flying Beetlejuice

Oh Maria! I know we are always hating on you

That's right you have to give it some air. Don't want a thunder cyat on our hands do we.

But we are not going to hate... your man is goodlooking

Gurl...maybe it is time you start doing it from a different position. Cause dropping to your knees all the time is no good for your health anymore


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