Realz

Wimbledon 2011: Update

In Andy Murray, Bernard Tomic, Caroline Wozniacki, David Ferrer, Jo-Wilfred Tsonga, Mardy Fish, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Mikhail Youzhny, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Sabine Lisicki, Serena Williams, Tsvetana Pironkova, Venus Williams, Victoria Azarenka on June 29, 2011 at 8:13 am

Oh I have left you all out in the wilderness to be getting your tennis updates from unsavory sources. I am sincerely sorry. I have been exhausted for the past few days. Whenever I come home from work and I look at my computer, it is not what I want to deal with at the moment. For those of you who do not check the website, I did post something for the Round of 16 action and it was a hot day on Monday…a very very very hot day

It was a scorcher out there

My predictions and you know I was almost right on all accounts. I had noted for the Men’s action:

Mr. Federer, we hope you go all the way

  • Lochness Monster plays Richard Gasquet (This might be a tough match for Nessie) Nessie won of course in straight sets
  • Mr. Divadal against Beast Boy (HUGE MATCH either one can win) Mr. Divadal called out the trainer when things were not going his way to slow down Beasty momentum. Mr. Divadal won in 4 sets. 
  • D’Joker plays Michael Llodra (D’Joker) D’Joker was merely warming up on court against the Frenchman. Harlequeen won in straights. 
  • Mr. Federer plays Mikhail Youzhny (Mr. Federer of course) Mr. Federer lost the first set in a tiebreaker but cleaned up his game and took it in 4 sets. 
  • Mardy Fish former Whale takes on Lurch (I think Fish can make the upset) Fish did make the upset and in straight sets too. Lurch is going to tumble out of the rankings because he lost first round at the French having made the semis last year and he did not get to the finals of the Wimbeldon. 
  • Lukasz Kubot against FeFe (Interesting match up but I think FeFe might pull it off) Kubot was up 2 sets to love before he allowed FeFe to get his way back into the match. FeFe won in 5 sets.

Aussie Tomic...might as well get a glimpse of him now as you might not see him again

  • Bernard Tomic vs. XXX Man (Tomic is playing really good tennis plus XXX is too large) Tomic of course won. He will face D’Joker but he will be too tired. He has played 7 straight matches already but great for Aussie tennis and men’s tennis that this lil upstart is making some noise on the tour. 
  • Fiery Ferrer vs. Baby Ali (A toss up but I think Baby Ali might pull it off) Baby Ali did pull it off and in straight sets too. 

FeFe made it through

Nessie can you handle all of FeFe??

For the ladies, these were my pick,
  • The Serenanator takes on Gloria the Hippo (Serenanator of course) I was wrong about this because you know there is no shame in my game that I favour the Williams sisters. The Serenanator looked like an old model on court as the Hippo kept bouncing her around. Hippo went through to the quarters. 
  • Ebony Starr will play Pironkova (Oh Pironkova has her number but I think ES can put her in her place this time around) As if caught in a Groundhog Day nightmare, Ebony Starr was as dull as dishwater on court. She got smacked around again by this lil Bulgarian B(shut your mouth). Anyway, shame is that neither Pironkova or Fatrolli will make it to the semis, I think the other girls are far more talented.  
  • Danish Biscuit plays Cibulkova (Cibulkova because I think she wants it more) I got this one right as well Cibulkova stormed back and took it in 3 sets. 
  • Shriekapova vs Shuai Peng (Shriekapova will get this one more than likely. Peng has no power) Like a bat outta hell she dismissed Shuai Peng. Watch out for this Russian. 
  • Azarenka takes on Fatrova (Azarenka without a doubt) You know I got this right too. 
  • Sabine Lisicki plays Petra Cetkovska (Lisicki is just on a roll) This was a no contest. Lisicki took the match with ease. 
  • Yanina Wickmayer vs High Head Witch (Hmm I think Kvitova aka High Head Witch will get the win) High Head Witch was not even playing on court as opposed to casting her prodigious tennis spells around. 
  • Tamira Paszek plays Ksenia Pervak (Paszek I think) Paszek won too. 

Someone get her an asthma pump because grandma needs some air

So all in all I got like 14.5 out of 16. I say that is not bad at all.

Azarenka is my girl now

Anyway yesterday, the ladies played their quarterfinals match and true to form, neither Piranhakova and Fatrolli made it through to the semifinals. As a matter of fact, in their very first game, they were broken, something neither Williams’s sisters were able to do. As a matter of fact, I think their serves were broken almost at the wills of Head High Witch and Lisicki. Piranhakova and Fatrolli did manage to win the second sets in a tie breaker but they were dismantled in the third. It was an absolute waste of an upset they had. Anyway, I am backing Azarenka all the way. She took out her opponent late in the night as rain disrupted play once again. Shriekapova looked as though she is ready to claim another Wimbledon title. To be honest, she has been playing increasingly better as the year has gone on. She is most consistent and you know she is a fighter. She crushed Cibulkova on court allowing only two games for the Slovakian. It was most disheartening.

Jubliant Lisicki

So we are left with Shriekapova vs. Lisicki in one semis and Azarenka vs Kvitova. Unfortunately, I will not be back ing Shriekapova to go anywhere. I really want some young blood to win this title. Sorta tired of the old hens taking the title and the WTA really need some french new faces of champions. Also unfortunate is that Kvitova really looks like a witch…but she can do magic on court so I am not really hating. However, I really really like me some Azarenka and I will love for her to face Lisicki because I think she is also playing some really good tennis this fortnight.
Anyways as for the menz…Today they play their quarterfinals

I'm a take me a timeout...my footsie wootsie is hurting so "badly" God do not like ugly Mr. Divadal, he most certainly is against it and you my friend are HIDEOUS. You will soon get your comeuppance

  1. Well Mr. Federer will be facing Baby Ali (I give this one to Mr. Federer. Just too much variety and plus we at a major, Wimbledon to be exact. However, Baby Ali is not going out without a fight)
  2. Lochness Monster takes on FeFe (Well this is going to be very very interesting. I do not know how much longer FeFe can keep up his grass court game because he played 5 sets recently and Nessie is as fit as a fiddle. However, I think FeFe might just be dismissed. Although I have to say that Nessie has been under the radar and I think he is lacking real confidence. He has had a really bad year thus far.
  3. Mr. Divadal “after being cleared to play from his foot MRI” (just a load of utter fcukery) will play Mardy the Fish former whale. I will be foolish to bet against Mr. Divadal but I will love for Fish to make a big splash here. It’s just a wish. So Mr. Divadal will go through.
  4. D’Joker Harlequeen takes on Tomic and I swear it will be a massacre on court as the Serbian will complete obliterate the Australian. (An almost straight set rout for the D’Joker)

Will be an easy day at the office for this one today. He most certainly will have time to do his nails and a facial later on.

So I think you are all caught up to speed right now. Don’t forget to tune into tennis this weekend 9:00 a.m. Eastern time on both Saturday and Sunday on NBC.

Too bad we won't be seeing much of you around after today Baby Ali

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