Realz

Aussie Open 2012: Day 3

In Agnes Radwanska, Australian Open, Caroline Wozniacki, David Ferrer, Donald Young, Juan Martin Del Potro, Kim Clijsters, Marcos Baghdatis, Mardy Fish, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Stanislav Wawrinka, Tomas Berdych, Tommy Haas, Victoria Azarenka on January 19, 2012 at 10:04 am

Vickie Barcelona is charging through the field like a bull

Well Vickie Azarenka is on a war path and she is dispatching of her opponents with a vengeance. Twice she was looked spectacular at the Aussie Open 2009 and 2010, only to meet the Serenanator who through perhaps luck as well as her prodigious skills, snuck passed the Belarusian to subsequently win the title. Now, Vickie is on the other side of the draw and cannot meet the American until possibly the final. Therefore, she can be calm, cool and collected about her these championships. She played the Australian Casey Dellacqua and Vickie was simply brutal to the crowd favourite. It was almost with disdain she finished her off 6-1 6-0. Perhaps she meant to not let the native daughter win a game or simply to prove her superiority but she just pounded on that girl like she had just slapped her mother. Whatever it was, Vickie Barcelona Christina is looking stellar and the rest of the field or at least in the top half should do well to pay close attention because Vickie is not fcuking around this year.

Fivehead Jungle Witch Jankovic is still floating around in the draw

Well Radwanska who I swear look like a Bratz Doll got through her match quite easily unlike in her first round match. Danish Biscuit who had no talk of wrist injury this time around as far as I am aware went through easily as well. Other top players who made it through were LiNaLi, Fivehead Jungle Witch Jankovic and Mommie Dearest who showed her usual early round brilliance when rolled over her opponent 6-0 6-1. German hopeful Julia Goerges also won her match as did her countrywoman Mona Barthel, a virtual unknown who came through qualifying last week to win Hobart (a warm tournament) continued to show fine form as she too made it to the 3rdround.

Which hair spoilist thought that this was a good look for Mommie Dearest??

By way of upsets, Schiabone was knocked out in straight sets 4-6 3-6 by her fellow Italian Romina Oprandi. There was no fight at all from the 10th seed Francesco and I was happy for it really. I am just sick and tired of seeing her running around the court and making those ridiculous asthmatic sounds and you know I am hardly one to ever complain about the “ladies” grunting. Anyway, 16th seed Shuai Peng lost to Benesova whilst American Christina McHale booked her place in the 3rdround with a 3 set victory over Erakovic. That takes care of the ladies.

Mr. Divadal looking good thus far

On the men’s side, Mr. Federer had a very light day at the office as his opponent Andreas Beck of Germany pulled out of the match before the start. So Mr. Federer is in the 3rd round. Mr. Divadal did not break much of a sweat as he took out German Tommy Haas aka Head and Shoulders in straight sets. Lurch aka Berdych looked to be going out early against his opponent but he just swung around and pummeled him in the next 3 sets. He too is in the 3rd round as are Del Potro (11th seed) aka Beast Boy, Fefe Lopez, Ivo Karlovic (a dangerous floater) Kevin Anderson (30thseed).

Is it just me or it looks like he is wearing foundation??

There were several marathon matches later on in the day as Nicolas Almagro (10th seed) fought off a charge from young hottie Grigor Dimitrov. Dimitrov just had nothing left in the tank for the 5thset and went out 0-6. American John Isner aka Big Friendly Giant (BFG) outlasted David Nalbandian who had the match on his racquet. Nalbandian allowed himself to get sidetracked by a very questionable call by the umpire and let several break points go.

BFG is through to the 3rd round

Alexandr Dolgopolov (13th seed) aka boy who looks like a girl who looks like a boy, he pulled through in 5 sets as well though I think it was a lot of wasted energy on court. He could have easily wrapped up the match but seems willing to play around on court. If he wishes to crack the top 10 and remain there, he will need to increase his sense of urgency on court as well as be far more efficient in his game. BFG won his second 5 set match 10-8. His fellow Americans Sam Querry aka the Grinch and Donald Young both attempted to put up a fight against their opponents but both lost in 4 sets. Mardy Fish (8thseed) also lost as he went down in straight sets to Columbian Alejandro Falla 7-6 6-3 7-6. A very disappointing result I am sure.

Alejandro Falla of Columbia

I am a skinny itch now....let me see you hate on my body

However, I think it is time we accept the fact that Fish is not the next American hope in men’s tennis. I feel that he has got to as far as he will get in his career. He chose to lose the weight and take tennis seriously far too late and this year for sure will see his ranking plummet. And as we are talking about fatties, in the battle of the tennischubbies, Wawrinka vs Fatdatis, the Swiss was able to pull out the victory in the end despite massive crowd support for the Cypriot.

Wawrinka and Fatdatis. There is cake over there... let go get some

Now Fatdatis made it to the finals I believe in 2006 or 2007 where he was handled by Mr. Federer. He has since then made it to the semis of Wimbledon but has yet to come close to such achievement. Instead of gaining more match skills and maturity, he gained weight. He opted for the food court instead of the tennis court. The same can be said of Wawrinka. Look at those moobs on his chest; he needs a brossiere. However, the match was rather entertaining because Wawrinka has one of the sweetest one handed backhands you would ever see on the tennis court. Anyway, this match would gain infamy for something else. Take a look,

What really got to me though is not his behaviour; Fatdatis never struck me as someone with any sort of class. However, it is the fact that the chair umpire said nothing until he broke the 4th racquet and the media response to this is as if this were some mere joke and Fatdatis is being “eccentric” in some manner. Earlier that very same day, David Nalbandian in a fit of rage in his match against American BFG, threw his racquet and almost hit a lines judge. The umpire said nothing. I have long stated that the Grand Slams are harsher on women than they are on men and had this been the Serenanator, the newsreels would have been on fire. And while I am talking about this, can TV commentators stop talking about the women “noise level” Mr. Divadal and D’Joker are always grunting throughout their matches and I have yet to hear a soul say shite about it.

That’s it for results. Enjoy the picture show…..

Daniela Hepburnova is working the camera this major for sure

Dimitrov is simply delicious

I think Almagro is leading the ATP from behind. I dare say, he given has Divadal licked

Might I make a suggestion as to where you can lick m'am??

I don't want to be mean but that's a very unattractive woman in the black. She must have a winning personality

Fatoli pumping those fat tubes

Again, what's with this shirtless frat boyz business?? Gaynesia has definitely become an epidemic

Ahhhh m'am, I think you might need a bathroom break.

Check out my fierce walk gurl!!

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