Realz

Australian Open 2012: Day 6

In Andy Murray, Australian Open, David Ferrer, Gael Monfils, Janko Tipsarevic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Juan Ignacio Chela, Kei Nishikori, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, Mikhail Kukushkin, Milos Raonic, Nicolas Mahut, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Richard Gasquet, Sabine Lisicki, Serena Williams, Sorana Cirstea, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tennis, Vera Zvonareva on January 21, 2012 at 9:33 am

Well Day 6 at the Aussie Open promised to be crazy exciting but in the end it was sorta a letdown though there were several gems to be treasured. On the ladies GHW was not messing around when she faced Maria Kirilenko of Russia. I guess there was less of a distraction for her across the net as Kiri is gifted in the looks department heavily so than her last opponent Lady Hobbit. Anyway, GHW unleashed her powers and was quickly at 6-0 but Kiri claimed injury and retired after losing the first game of the 2nd set. Kvitova is through to 4th round. She is picking up energy and confidence for this tournament.

Thanks for the warm up!!

Next up was Sara Errani of Italy vs Sorana Cirstea of Romania. It was an excellent first set and both ladies battled it out. The first set was literally decided by a couple of points as Cirstea took it in a tie-breaker 7-6. However, she claimed injury after when it became clear that the Italian was not going to be denied a chance for her first 4th round draw at a major. Cirstea tried to stick around but she got dismissed 0-6 2-6. Errani is through to the next round.

Look at the size of that cranium. It is like Alien v Predator had a baby girl.

Is this a 2008 Aussie Open Shriekapova we are seeing??

Shriekapova and the Serenanator seem on a collision course in the quarters as they both easily dispatched of their opponents. Shriekapova took out the German Angelique Kerber (30th seed) 6-1 6-2. Kerber you might remember made it to the 2011 US Open semifinals where she lost to eventual champion Sam D’stove Stosur. The Serenanator took out Greta Arn of Hugnary 6-1 6-1. Though I cannot recall the specific head to head between the Russian and the American, it goes without saying that the Serenanator owns Shriekapova. Everyone will remember the 2004 Wimbledon finals where the young upstart took out two time reigning champion and perhaps less so that later that year at the WTA Year Ending Championships, the Russian again beat the American. However, since 2004, Maria has yet to record a win over the American and many of her losses have been no contest including meeting last year in California. The Serenanator treated her with utter disdain. However, the Russian seemed to have put her injuries behind her and apparently in fine form. So it might be a tough match but she has to get past a hard hitting, big serving Sabine Lisicki of Germany where as the Serenanator get past Ekaterina Makarova of Russia.

The Serenanator is on and seeking to destroy!

So Lisicki and Makarova are through to the 4th round by virtue of “upsets” or another Chernobyl Disaster by their Russian opponents. Lisicki played Kuzi-Rex in the 3rd round and Kuzi-Rex took the first set 6-2 and was up a break in the 2nd. I was all ready to say, oh Kuzi Rex is back in fine form and perhaps might be dangerous at this tournament. However, no sooner did I think that than the Russian simply collapsed handing Lisicki belief of winning the tournament.  Kuzi-Rex was up 6-2 4-3, serving to go up 5-3. However, she only won two more games for the rest of the match as she lost 6-2 4-6 2-6. See this is why I cannot deal with Kuzi-Rex. She is a two time major winner and half the time she acts as if she just came on the tour. She looks like a bloody dinosaur but for all that mean and grit in her face, she is as scary as a frigging teddy bear.

This dinosaur is playing like a relic

Absolute waste of time and speaking of that, her country woman Vera ZvonaZERO was no better on court. Against her country woman Makarova who has no real great tour success but of course she faced Vera and she knew she had a chance. Vera came out looking shape racing to a 3-0 lead then lost the next four games, won the next 2 and lost the next 2. She fought to get into the tie break. She just collapsed after that, losing the set and won ONE solitary game in the 2nd set. 7-6 6-1 Makarova. You know without a doubt, Vera was bawling on court and on her way out. Someone should tape her tear ducts shut. Interestingly enough. ZvonaZero and Kuzi-Rex have teamed up to play doubles at these championships. I guess they are getting ready for the Olympics. Let’s see how well they do here.

Makarova of Russia

The other two matches played, Sailor Moon vs. Ivanovic the Terrible and Jie Zheng vs. La Petite Grosse were not so much remarkable as they were impressive. Ivanovic is showing signs of glory as she made it through to the 4th round in a major, something that has been rather elusive for her in recent years. (She did make it to the 4th round of the US Open last year but was knocked out by the Serenanator.) Anyway she took out Sailor Moon (Vania King) in straight sets 6-3 6-4. Up next is Kvitova aka GHW. That’s a tall order because Kvitova is looking to demolish this field.

You might this is Fatoli excited about a point. However it's just here doing one of her on court ballet routine.

In the other match it was Jie Zheng who is no bigger than your thumb (Maybe I should call her Thumbelina or Pixie) Anyway, she came out and was kicking like Jet Li against Fatoli Bartoli. Loads of people had Bartoli as a dark horse pick. LOL I think they had too much over the Christmas break because Bartoli will not win a major barring some unforeseen incident. She is not as consistent and hungry like the other girls….wait I take that back because she is always eating. However, she does not have the depth of play as the top ladies, so I do not factor her in at any major though she has made 2 semis and a final. Her game is too discombobulated and she exerts too much energy on court. No one is afraid of her and few take her seriously. Once her opponent sees the chance to make it big in a major and she is the roadblock, they will be all over her. Nonetheless, I really thought that she would have given Zheng some sorta fight and perhaps proved herself to be superior player. However, Zheng a 2010 semifinalist was not having any of that at all. She played a wonderful match. She was on Fatroli from the jump and the Frenchwoman never had a chance to do anything. Zheng was the better player and she never let up on her advantage. Zheng won 6-3 6-3 and is through to another 4th round of a major.

On the men’s draw, things were fairly routine for the most part.

Mahut showed up for a marathon but quickly realized that it was a sprint!

D’Juggernaut continues to look very very impressive as he obliterated the Frenchman Nicolas Mahut. Mahut you would remember from the 2010 Wimbledon who played that epic match against BFG 70-68 in the 5th set. Anyway, against the Serb, it was a 100 metres sprint…wait scratch that, it was a 60-yard dash and he was left in the dust 6-0 6-1 6-1. Mahut claimed injury but I think the only thing that was hurting was both his pride and game. Baby Ali is also playing well as he took out the Portuguese Frederico Gil 6-2 6-2 6-2. Lochness Monster also had an easy time against his French opponent, Michael Llodra who went out 6-4 6-2 6-0, the Scotsman. So many of the top players are playing very very well. It is a love fest all over the tour as people are getting blitz. Even in doubles, the 2nd seed team of Lisa Raymond and Liezel Huber took out their 1st round opponent 6-0 6-0.

Lochness Monster is quietly going through the draw

Anyway, we are not here to talk about the ladies doubles event. David Fiery Ferrer is also through to the 4th round. 2011 semifinalist looked a bit out of sorts when he played Juan Ignacio Chela aka Chin Chela. Chin Chela barking at his heels but eventually the Spaniard showed himself to be the superior athlete, 7-5 6-2 6-1.Richard Gasquet (17th seed) took on Janko Tipsarevic (9th seed) and to be honest, I expected an epic match of sorts. Both are immensely talented, though the Frenchman is a shade better. However, in the actual match, Gasquet just blitzed the Serb. Perhaps Tipsarevic was having a bad day but he was totally out of it throughout as Richard took the match 6-3 6-3 6-1. Dennis the Menace aka Milos Raonic of Canada played Dingo Dog Hewitt and I knew that Dennis just would not have had the stamina to squeak out this win plus the Aussie crowd has been rather vicious this year and were strongly behind their man. Raonic managed to win the first set 6-4 but eventually Dingo Dog proved too dogged for the Canadian and he lost in 4 sets 4-6 6-3 7-6 6-3 Hewitt. Hewitt received a wild card to get into these championships if I am not mistaken and he is not wasting this invitation. He is in the 4th round but will be face the onslaught of the D’Juggernaut. Kei Nishikori of Japan took care of Julian Benneteau of France in 4 sets 4-6 7-6 7-6 6-3. This was a match of determination and will and the Japanese proved to be the stronger in the end.

Nishikori

The final men’s match to speak of and for me the match of the tournament and perhaps one for the ages, is Gael Monfils of French vs Mikhail Kukushkin of Kazakhstan. This was an epic match. Beetlejuice came out and won the first 2 games followed by  Kukushkin reeling off 8 straight games. 6-2 2-0. Beetle decided that he was going to call trainer complaining of back pain and he was moving like an ugly old man on court. For those who know tennis, they know Monfils is all about his speed. However, in yesterday’s match, he looked all but ready for the wheelchair. He was hobbling, walking gingerly to shots and at times, just giving up.

Beetlejuice looked like he was all dried up

Kukushkin raced to a 5-1 lead in the 2nd. However, here is where things got very very interesting. I for one will admit that I thought it unwise for BJ to continue. I mean it was obvious he could not move and Kukushkin was just pouncing all over the balls. However a strange thing happened Kushi went to serve for the set;  he began to choke and he was CHOKING big time. It was like watching a hanging. Kushi could not create his own pace at all and Beetlejuice just pushed the ball back and allowed Kushi to make the errors. Then it was now 5-5 all. However, Kushi pulled out the 2nd set 7-5 and enjoyed a 2-0 set lead. Beetlejuice refused to retire and began the 3rd set. BJ had taken back medication and I guess as the effects of the meds worn on, he regained some mobility and he took the 3rd set 7-5 and just dominated the 4th 6-1.

The fighting spirit of this demon was tremendous

We were even for the 5th. Monfils braved on and I will have to say that he earned my respect. Usually his on court antics always bugged the shite out of me. However, yesterday he was just absolutely on point, playing well within himself and conserving energy. He played valiantly and I dare say this, Beetlejuice earned my respect. He lost the match though 4-6 in the 5th, double faulting on match point. Kushi was hitting like a girl and I am sure he will lose in the next round but he will make more money there than in the 3rd round.

Kushi through to his first 4th round appearance at a major

So that’s a wrap up of the 6th day. Hope you enjoyed!!

Today’s Hotties are HOTT…BRULE, MUY CALIENTE!!

WUUURRRQQQ!!! (I have some issues with the lower half of the dress..actually with the whole thing really. Sorta looks like a dish towel. However, you are wurqing it. This was a homemade number wasn't it??)

Fiery Ferrer (words have failed me right now!)

For those who like men who like dogs, here is something for you. Not my thing...though I am all for licking

This is just too hot. This has to be considered soft core porn. I wonder what lies between. Hmmm

Hey you!! Not you daddy but your son next to you.

Why thank you for the resfreshment.... I sure could use this. So hot around here.

Clearly we are in the notties section right now

I don't know who performed this bit of "My Fair Lady" magic and turned Kuzi- Rex (seen directly above) into a lady but I do think they deserve a Nobel Prize.

Chin Chela is possessed by the demons of non-beauty

It isn't just in Paris that its all gay

Sweetie you know that's your gurlfriend and not your boyfriend right?? Just checking

Mahut. This isn't sexy....it's sleezy and damn near creepy too. Get away!!

What do you mean we cannot do that here? Checking her whowho on court is a perfectly legitimate reason for an injury time out? Stop the hating Rosie!!

Monsters always turn out to be freaks. Commendable effort but there are somethings that should never be done alone!

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