Realz

2012 French Open: Le 4eme Jour

In Fernando Verdasco, French Open, Irina Falconi, Juan Martin Del Potro, Marian Bartoli, Melanie Oudin, Petra Kvitova, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Serena Williams, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tomas Berdych on May 31, 2012 at 11:35 am

Day 4:
Well after the shocker of the Serenanator going out for the 1st time in the 1st round of a major, the conditions seems brewing for another upset. Vickie started things off. In her 1st round match, she was 2 games away from losing the whole shebang. However, in her 2nd round match, she sent a clear message that she is still a force to be reckoned with at this event. She dropped two games against her German opponent and looked very much like a favourite again to win this title 6-1 6-1.

Thanks for the warm up gurl!

2010 finalist D’Stove Stosur dispatched of the American Irina Falconi 6-1 6-4 and I have to say that perhaps she might be making a charge for her second major title. The mere idea of this couple of years ago would be laughable. As a matter of fact, to have said this out loud might have resulted in you being asked quietly to stop talking fart as you were polluting the environment. Now come 2012, Sam Stosur is looking for her 2nd major title. Anyway, Falconi was not the only American loser on Day 4: Melanie Oudin was dismissed by Sara Errani 6-2 6-3, Alexa Glatch lost to Penne Pasta Pennetta 3-6 1-6, Sailor Moon Vania King lost to Cibuttkova 0-6 2-6 and Bethanie Mattek-Sands as Americans who lost their 2nd round match. Now, there is another American worth talking about but we are not ready to discuss her issues as yet. Anyway, Mattek-Sands lost to another American, Sloane Stephens 1-6 1-6. Stephens is having a wonderful tournament and made the semi-finals of Strasbourg last week. So she had definitely hit a nice win streak. The Americans ladies, in particular the non Williams Sisters have a made it an excellent tournament for the USA. As per the norm, the men are nowhere to be found. Ten of them moved into the 2nd round but how many of them will survive. As you can see on Day 4 Sloane Stephens is the only one that will move on.

Sailor Moon

Other winners include Svetlana Kuznetsova aka Boynetsova aka Kuzi-Rex. The Russian, 26th seed, is a two time major winner and won this title in 2009. She will join her countrywoman Nadia Fatrova. Now you know I had a lot to say about the Venus Williams match vs Bratzwanska. However, I am just going to stay the facts and not editorialize anything. The Crackhead lost 1-6 3-6! Absolutely zero effort from the American. I swear she is using this disease as an excuse to play poorly. She let down her fanz tremendously especially the young ones. What we are seeing on court is a very lackadaisical attitude and trying to pass off her “illness” as excuse. No Ebony Starr you are up to your old crackish ways. Your 1st serve percentage is disgusting. Bratzwanska was breaking you at will. And what’s worst, when you were down 3-5 15-40 and a chance to be on serve since 0-0, you squandered the two break points.

Thanks for the warm up girl!

This is not the Ebony Starr that I had admire at all. I was appalled by your level of play. I am done. I will congratulate you on your wins but no more unflagging support. I had learnt my lesson ages ago but I felt sympathy for you with your illness and everything. However, you are taking tricks and make it luck. I am not mad because you lose. I am mad because you did not try to win. You let Bratzwanska walk all over you like she is the 7 time major champion. Anyhow, I am done with you. Moving on! By the way, your dress ain’t that cute it looks hand/homemade and the weave is horrible as always. I swear I see Usain Bolt all over them tracks. Yes I am calling you out. You annoy me. Get your shite together before you come hang with me again. You could not even soldier on for the Serenanator! Not feeling you at all.

Just get out of here if you cannot get your act together

To the menz, less upsets there for sure.

American Brian Baker who has been out with injuries for ages now, made a statement that he is back on tour and ready to save American men’s tennis. Well he did not quite succeed but he made a very valiant effort. He took on Gilles “Chicken Legs” Simon of France in the main Philippe Chatrier stadium and climbed out of a 0-2 set deficit and to take the match to a 5th set. However, the 11th seeded Frenchman simply laid down the hammer as he bageled the American. It was a good match and hopefully Baker builds on this. I actually remember seeing him play in 2005 when he took your Gaston Gaudio (2004 French Open winner) in the 1st round of the US Open. I was a lil disappointed because I was going through a major Gaston Gaudio crush. I was so close…oh so close… Don’t judge me but I digress.

Brian Baker looking like Tru Blood on court

D’Joker Harlequeen started off his match pretty well but faltered as things went on. He won in straight sets over Blaz Kavcic who did the world a favour by taking out Hewitt in the 1st round. However, he was no match for the world’s number one losing 0-6 4-6 4-6. Now, as of late, I have noticed that D’Joker is not able to sustain his stamina or his level of play. He is always quick to be ahead and dominate but the in the later stages of the match, he begins to wither. Mind you, his level of withering is far from average as he can still win matches that way. However, consider all his significant wins of later, he has lost more games in the 2nd half of the match if he won the match and when he has lost the match, he won fewer games. This might not be an issue now. However, this middle season is going to be very grueling especially with the Olympics. D’Joker Harlequeen best stop skylarking on court and get his life right because Divadal does not like the bitch seat on your motorcycle ride to tennis greatness. He has played second fiddle to Mr. Federer who is fast encroaching on his space for No 2. Divadal is ready to make a charge and nothing like an easy French Open title to make all feel right in his world.

D’Joker Harlequeen might get a touch of the vapours as the tournament goes on

Anywho speaking of Mr. Federer… this frigging fool… Now I hardly get mad at the Swiss Miss but his level of play through two rounds has been mediocre at best. He is just phoning it in at his point. Very lackadaisical on shots with little insight into what he is supposed to be doing out there. Against some Romanian qualifier who took out Nalbandian, Ungur won the 3rd set after Mr. Federer had 2 or 3 match points. WTF? Who is this doppelgänger on court? Anyway, Mr. Federer came through 6-3 6-2 6-7 6-3. With each successive round I am beginning to fear that he might not even make to the semifinals because if the likes of Ungur can win a set off him, what will happen when he faces a Berychite Lurch or Beast Boy Del Potro.

I wasn’t worried. I have everything under control. What’s that ahead? An iceberg?

And speaking of those two, they moved into the 3rd round quite easily: Lurch took out Llodra aka King Louis of France in 3 sets and Del Potro French wildcard if I am not mistaken, Roger-Vasselin in 4 sets. Meanwhile, Tabasco Verdasco looked a lil no sauce in the 1st set losing 6-7 to Gilles Muller (Who can ever forget Muller when he took away Mr. Brooklyn Decker’s mojo in the 1st round of the 2005 US Open). Stanislav Wawrinka (18) now dubbed Fatanka is also through to the 3rd as are Marin Chin Cilic (21) who took out the 2003 French Open champ JC Ferrero and Kevin Anderson (31) of the South Africa.

HOTTIES

I hunger for Ungar

Call me! Call me…the moment you get there

You coming? Definitely coming for you:-)

Cibulkova aka Cibuttkova

Mathilde Johansson. We can overlook whatever’s going on with the hairline and appreciate your beauty

NOTTIES

She just never look clean to me. Always a hot mess

OH NO! No No No! This is all wrong. Who allowed this to be published?

Accessories made all the world of difference. No headband from ugly pretty

To pretty ugly

I shouldn’t have that other piece of baguette for breakfast….

So I told him look all he wants, I got my treasure chest is tight and airtight sealed

 

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