Realz

Wimbledon 2012: Day 1

In Agnes Radwanska, Angelique Kerber, Arantxa Rus, Carla Suarez Narravo, Fernando Verdasco, Flavia Pennetta, Janko Tipsarevic, Jelena Jankovic, John Isner, Juan Monaco, Kim Clijsters, Melanie Oudin, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Richard Gasquet, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Slaone Stephens, Tomas Berdych, Tsvetana Pironkova, Venus Williams, Wimbledon on June 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Well the 1st day of Wimbledon 2012 has been completed and in an effort to not get behind, we will get right to the action. I am not sure if there is anything that needs to be mention other than. Check out RealzTenisFanz on Twitter, Facebook as well as COMMENT on the blog! Yes spread the word. I am also looking for a logo/design or some insignia. The only sort of art I can create usually end up looking like fart. Nonetheless, I really think we could do with a cool design. So if you know anyone, I welcome submissions. Of course, I cannot pay you but you will be featured forever on the website.

Yeah gurl for realz! They need a logo so if you know someone who knows someone who knows someone, let them know and send submissions. Might make a contest out of it!

So to the tennis:
Let’s start off with the men’s

Don’t hate me cause I got the walk that everyone talks about!

Defending Champion D’Joker Harlequeen got things off against Juan Carlos Ferrero, 2003 French Open Champion and 2003 US Open runner-up. When last we saw the Serb, he was reeling from that French Open loss to Lord Dirt Divadal. Now, in that final, his serve failed him miserably. It was almost appalling to think that he had got that far with such little effort. However, at the start of these championships, he looked rather stellar in the serving department. Now, JC Ferrero aka Ferrero Rocher, as aptly named by one of the fanz, is a mere shadow of his former self and grass was never his favourite surface. I secretly think that Ferrero Rocher’s problem is that he felt that he was the original Spanish Diva until that usurper in Lord Dirt Divadal came along. His career took a dive because of his inner struggles with envious demons but that is just me. Do not go spreading this around. Ferrero Rocher was a major talent back in the days and he was one of the first Spanish guys who were willing to learn to play on other surfaces other than clay. Anyhow, we are digressing and we are already behind. Anyway, D’Joker did not waste much time in dispatching him 6-3 6-3 6-1.

6 feet of Spanish chocolate with nut all over it 🙂 Mmm Mmm good! Ferrero Rocher

Mr. Federer was looking like every bit the 6 time Wimbledon champion that he is with a 6-1 6-1 6-1 victory over Spanish lefty Albert Ramos. If only Mr. Federer dismissed all Spanish lefty in this manner. These championships, I think will be very monumental in Mr. Federer’s legacy. I am afraid this might be the only legitimate chance he has of winning another major crown. He is a strong number 3 in the world; a very formidable opponent. However, he is getting old and his match skills are not as pristine as they were in the past. He commits far too many unforced errors. Nonetheless, if Mr. Federer were to win these championships, he gets back his number one ranking and surpasses Pete Sampras for most weeks at number one. There is no doubt in my mind that Mr. Federer is going for it all this year. He might talk of playing on till 2016 but I doubt that. He should be home with his daughters and so that Mirka can have time to get back to the gym and work out. Perhaps she might consider coming back on the WTA.

Swinging through his match

Anyway, other winners include Richard Gasquet, Xavier Malisse aka X-tra Large, Mikhail Youzhny over American Donald Young, Tabasco Verdasco and Janko Sexarevic who took out David Nalbandian in straight sets. He will join his countryman Troicki who won 8-6 in the 5th set in his first round encounter. Shark Boy Stepanek also won as did Baby Jesus Juan Manaco or should I say, Mrs. Nadalaco. Frenchman Gilles Simon moved on to the 2nd round when his fellow Frenchman Paul-Henri Mathieu pulled out after being down 3-6 4-5. Now, Simon in his press conference had nothing to talk about it seems, so instead of showing off his chicken legs, he showed off his bird brains. He spoke of the fact that he did not think that men and women should be paid the same amount during slams as men are required to play best of 5 sets as oppose to women playing 3.

Oooo brain fart!

Now, I would have given his stance more credence if he himself had completed at least 2 sets to move into the 2nd round. Am I to ask for my money back or halve his prize money because he did not win 3 sets? We are not even going to deal with that right now. What I do not understand is why people are still talking about this. Why at this stage in tennis era is the likes of Simon who is not even a major factor on tour, will chose this sorta forum to talk about this matter. Now, mind you, the ATP has issues that he is ignoring and could be talking about in press conference but instead, he shows himself to be a sexist half-witted tennis player. What is even worse is that even if they were to offer a trillion dollars to the men, Simon is not seeing any of that money. He is as likely to win a major as I am to sprout a vagina. Really I went there.

Pardon me as I say something stupid

If Simon did not have anything intelligent to say, why not just shut his mouth and moved on? Talk about the Olympics etc? I wish the journalist would have shut him up right then and there. However, this is “news” in their mind and they will run with it for the next two weeks. I assure you Simon, news of Shriekapova winning her 4th slam several weeks ago made more headlines than Divadal picking up his 7th French Open title. So, perhaps you should shut your rass and actually learn to play on grass. See this is why people say shite about the French but he is lucky I am not one of those because I know a few choice mots en français for the Frenchman.

Lurch Berdshyte crashes out of a major again in spectacular fashion

Anyway, in an effort to not digress, I will finish giving you the newz. So several big losers were shown on the 1st day including two giants; Tomas Berdych aka Lurch Berdshyte and John Isner aka BFG (Big Friendly Giant). They were both sent packing having come into these championships with some buzz behind them. Lurch lost in straight sets, 3 tiebreakers no less, to Ernests Gulbis, whereas BFG lost to Alejandro Falla who almost knocked Mr. Federer out in the 1st round of Wimbledon in 2010. Falla won 6-4 6-7 3-6 7-6 7-5. Again I am going to say it; BFG needs to learn how to break serve. I am tired of seeing him losing matches in this effort. He has a wonderful serve that much is true. However, his inability to be more aggressive on his return game is really hampering him. I guess the fact that Isner lost, it does not make the fact that James Blake lost as well look so bad. I think this might be the final year for the American. His struggles have been long and arduous. He should bring this one to a close. It is a shame the US are not giving him a spot on the Olympic team when he came so close to winning a medal in Beijing if that cheating skank Fernando Gonzalez had owned up to his folly.

As with those locks, so you should cut off your professional tennis career. Bid it adieu. They were only cute for a minute.

On the ladies side, I guess the biggest news was really that Venus aka Russ Troll lost against Elena Vesnina 1-6 3-6. Now, I am not going to make any excuses for the American who herself said that she is satisfied with her performance though she admitted that she came back too soon. She congratulated the Russian on her victory and got in reporters face when they claimed she was struggling. Russ Troll was not having any of that negativity in her press conference. Anyway, she gets a second chance at life as the US just announced the Olympic team and she and her sister will be entered in both the singles and doubles event.

At least I get free towels.

Shriekapova, fresh off her French Open victory, got through her opponent 6-2 6-3 as did British hopeful Heather Watson. Other winners include Sam Stosur, D’Stove who just dismantled Spaniard Carla Suarez-Navarro. While we are on the subject of Carla, cannot anyone really do something about this child? I have long suggested that they make her grow her hair out as well as add some bows, ribbons and girlish clips to it. However, no one is taking heed. It is really sad to look upon this child. Spain should be ashamed of itself having the men looking far better cared for than its women.

Lady Hobbit

One of the more interesting match ups of the tournament was Mommie Dearest aka Princess Fiona aka Kim Clijsters vs Five Head Jungle Witch Jankovic. Fivehead is struggling to get at least one head in the game as her tennis woos continue. The 18th seed is out and Mommie Dearest goes on to the 2nd round in her quest for her 1st Wimbledon title. She is set to retire once more. This will be her “last” Wimbledon she claims. However, she is still plagued with “injuries”

Mommie Dearest and Fivehead Jungle Witch

Anyway, other winners were Losicki, Krazilenko, Carebear Kerber, Fatrova, Creature Rus, Sloane Stephens, LiNaLi, Pironkova and Draculetta Cirstea. Americans Vania King and Melanie Oudin were knocked out as was 16th seed Flavia Pennetta. Jaime Lee Hampton of the US knocked out Daniella Hepburnova 6-4 7-6. There might be some depth to the American ladies in the next coming years. I almost forgot, Bratzwanska won her match and would have face Russ Troll had she won.

It is a shame you won’t be around Russ Troll because I rather liked this outfit!

 

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