Realz

Wimbledon 2012: Day 3

In Ana Ivanovic, Andy Roddick, Arantxa Rus, Caroline Wozniacki, David Ferrer, Dominika Cibulkova, Janko Tipsarevic, Kim Clijsters, Klara Zakopolova, Li Na, Maria Sharapova, Milos Raonic, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Sorana Cirstea, Wimbledon on June 28, 2012 at 7:38 am

By the end of the 3rd day today, Wimbledon is severely behind schedule. They barely completed all of the 1st round matches day and there is still 2nd round matches to be completed when a fair amount of the athletes are already in the 3rd round. They spent all that money and only put roof on one court bearing in mind that of all the playing surfaces at majors, this is the only one where play cannot even continue for a point when the first drops of rain fall. However, it is not for me to question the rationale of Wimbledon. I am merely fanz; what do I know? Anyway let’s get to the results…

We might need some refreshments soon!

Mr. Federer came out in most splendid form against the Italian Fognini and I almost want to believe that Mr. Federer can take this crown. It has been three years since he has won Wimbledon and over year since he been to a major final or over 2 years since he won one. This might be ripe for the picking. The Swiss dispatched Fognini 6-1 6-3 6-2 in about an hour and 12 minutes. The world’s number one, playing the last match of the day because of the rain, seemingly struggled against American Ryan Harrison 6-4 6-4 6-4. I do not know about anyone else but the Serb is looking less and less invincible these days. He is making his effort look like work whereas in Lord Dirt Divadal and Mr. Federer’s days of glory, they were crushing lesser men like ants beneath their feet. He, on the other hand is all over the place. His year has not been stellar and though he is winning match, he is definitely going about it the long way and might lose his top ranking should Mr. Federer win the title. However, we are far off from the finals. There are a lot of matches to be played.

He even falls gracefully!

Janko Tipsarevic who I commonly refer to as Sexarevic might be getting a name change. I have been informed by a fanz no less, that he is not a fan of the gays. Oh No Janko! No bueno indeed. I sorta think this is rather rich of Mr. Tipsarevic especially since he is always hanging off D’Joker d!*% but you did not hear that from me. Anyway, he won his match in 4 sets. He is really trying to be a permanent feature of the top ten but I fear that that is far as he will go. This Serb does not have what it takes to get to the top 6 much more really be a contender for majors  Also winning in 4 sets were Juan Monaco and Nicolas Almagro.Richard Gasquet won his match and will join his countryman Julien Benneteau in the 3rd round.

Ruben Bemelsman from Belgium lost to Gasquet… let’s take a moment to ponder on this phyne specimen and look upon his name because I sure would be his man any day of the week

In uncompleted 1st round matches, David Ferrer took out Dustin Brown of German in straight sets 7-6 6-4 6-4. Now I do not have anything against Mr. Brown…as a matter of fact, I follow him on Twitter and this is the source of my grievance. Now, after his lost, he took to Twitter as if he were spreading the gospel. I got to know everything he was about to do. He felt good that he lost in straight sets he said and then began retweeting all the nonsensical tweets from others. I figured he had won a set or something….really Dustin. You can do better than that. You lost in the first round of the tournament. I guess he is happy that this was an actual tour level tournament and not some challenger or satellite event. He is moving on to doubles where I am sure he will also lose in the 1st round. Anywho, I digress. Milos Raonic aka Dennis the Menace also won as did Jurgen Meltdown Melzer who took out Swiss’s Stanislav Wawrinka in 5 sets 8-6 in the 5th. Ivo Karlovic moved on to the 2nd round as Victor Troicki found himself in yet another 5set match and was again able to win it to move on to the 3rd round. Ernests Gulbis who upset the 7th seed Tomas Berdych lost in the 2nd round 7-9 in the 5th set to Jerzy Janowicz of Poland. There goes that potential unfulfilled like I figured.

boo, you didn’t win. So stop tweeting about losing!

On the women’s side, the biggest “shocker” of the day was Danish Biscuit crumbling yet again early in a major when Tamira Paszek won 5-7 7-6 6-4. Coming into the grass court season which in essence started two weeks ago, Paszek had won two matches for the year. Yep 2 as in the number after 1 and before 3. Now, she picked up the Eastbourne title beating Fatoli in the final and in the 2nd round of Wimbledon after knocking out the 7th seed. Danish Biscuit said in her press conference that Paszek got “lucky” and of course the press let that go. Had it been one of the Williams sisters to have used that word in the press conference, the story would have been different.

Gosh darn it. She got lucky to save two match points. Lady Luck you sure not playing nice tonight

But anyway, it is laughable that the Dane is speaking of luck in such low regard because the fact of the matter is that she is the one who was lucky. Her style of play though paltry, allowed her to rise to number one in the world. She has not one single weapon of worth in her arsenal and this year has been struggling mightily. She said her disgustingly public relationship with Rory Mcilory is not to be blamed for this “slump.” Meanwhile he has failed to make the final cut in 4 of his last 5 tournaments. Yes, you are right Danish Biscuit, it is not to be blamed in the least. Do not forget that he already has a major and you do not. I am so over the Danish Biscuit and her camp nonsense. They continue to be blind to her weaknesses but they shall soon learn that the tour has no use for weaklings and very soon Danish Biscuit will be struggling to stay in the top 20 and float around with the likes of Fivehead Jungle Witch Jankovic.

Lucky you lost. You can go meet Rory to wish him luck at his next tournament

Clijsters aka Mommie Dearest is looking to be in form or at least her “health” is holding up thus far. She moves through to the 3rd round with a straight sets victory. Joining her would be Krazilenko, Sara Errani (through to the 2nd round) and Vera Zvonavera. Other winners included Heather Watson of Britain (who will not play Olympic singles but doubles…really England?) as she took out American Jaime Lee Hampton, Bratzwanska over Vesnina and Julia Georges over Shahar Peer. They all won in straight sets. Camila Giorgi who took out Flavia Penne Pasta in the 1st round, made great opportunity of her win and moved through to the 3rd round, also in straight sets. Sloane Stephens also through to the 3rd round as is Sabine Lisicki. Ivanovic The Terrible won her 1st round match though she made sloppy work of it playing Maria Jose Martinez-Sanchez or as a fanz is so quick to refer to her as, “Dirty Sanchez” My word…these fanz can be quite vicious when given half a chance.

Yeah Ivanovic the Terrible won a match!

Someone called the repairman because this stove is broken

There were several upsets though in truth one might see them quite differently. Sam Stosur aka D’Stove made another early exit from a major. The 5th seed lost to Aranxta Rus 2-6 6-0 4-6 as she felt the disdain that the Dutch has for current US Open winner a la 2010 when Rus just dismantled Mommie Dearest in the 2nd round of the French. Rus is really finding her stride as of late.

Pretty perfect today!

LiNaLi, the 11th seed lost again early, this time to Soriana Cirstea aka Draculetta 6-3 6-4. The Chinese has really lost the plot since her 2011 French Open title. Very disappointing if I do say so myself. 2012 French Open quarterfinalist, Dominika Cibuttkova, the 13th seed, lost to perhaps another rising star Klara Zakopalova (the only person to take a set off Shriekapova at the French) 6-4 6-1. For loyal fanz, Granny Goodness Date-Krumm lost her 1st round match as well.

I left my game back in China.

Draculetta sunk into LiNaLi and drained her on court

Your highness and bitchress this way please! M’am mind you don’t trip over your sagging sacks. Might I suggest a different brasserie? One that actually lifts and separates?

Are you a Negress? I have never been this close to a person of colour. How absolutely fascinating.

And you say you look like this because you work out at the gym? Oh Charley poo…Boo, you gonna get you some of those P90X videos or mamma might be leaving for a buff man.

Yeah, we have been getting complaints. We want you to shut your bloody pie hole you screaming banshie!!

Realz you can talk smack all you want….my manz be blinging me out…what do you have? Just like I thought…nothing… Don’t hate the playa because this fat gurl can werq it.

I am rarely ever impressed with most tennis players shirtless pic… Exhibit A

Exhibit B. You better put that shirt back on

Now these are BODIES… Aussie swim team…at least some of them but that’s more than enough for me. They’re giving me Olympic fever!!!!

Yes m’am you werq the shore! Werq! Werq! Show us those water pumps!

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  1. that pic of Mirka cracks me up so much,

  2. Realz, you betta work for your flawless transcript of Princess Charles’s dialogues! ;-$

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