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Wimbledon 2013 Day 6

In Agnes Radwanska, Bernard Tomic, David Ferrer, Dominika Cibulkova, Feliciano Lopez, Fernando Verdasco, Jerzy Janowicz, Juan Martin Del Potro, Juan Monaco, Kaia Kanepi, Kei Nishikori, Klara Zakopolova, Laura Robson, Li Na, Mikhail Youzhny, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Richard Gasquet, Roberta Vinci, Sabine Lisicki, Sam Stosur, Serena Williams, Slaone Stephens, Sports Blog, Tennis, Tomas Berdych, Tommy Haas, Tsvetana Pironkova, Wimbledon on June 30, 2013 at 8:52 am

 

YEAHHHHH I'm going to the 2nd week of Wimbledon

YEAHHHHH I’m going to the 2nd week of Wimbledon

So Day 6 of Wimbledon is always exciting because it determines the last set of players to make it to 2nd Monday when all 16 4th round matches are played. It is one of the biggest days in tennis. Typically or I should say for the other 3 majors, the matches are always staggered by halves of the respective draws until the semifinals. Anyway, there were several matches to be finished which were carried over from Day 5. So let us deal with those first. I guess the good thing about no play on the Middle Sunday is that players whose matches were carried over from Friday have at least one day’s rest and should be recharged for Monday’s main event. I kinda feel like I am forgetting to tell you something but I am not entirely sure what it is. Perhaps my brain is all fried at this point. I lack sleep and right now I am so hungry but I do not want to spoil my diet and have a meal at this hour. It is the summer and one cannot hide under the layers of coats and sweaters.

Kvitova is getting her life together

Kvitova is getting her life together. With a smile like this, it is hard to see why I call her GHW

Anywho, let us get to the tennis. On the ladies side, Petra Kvitova got her life together when her match resumed on Saturday. She quickly dealt with Makarova who as we all know can be a dangerous floater. Kvitova is through to the Round of 16 for the 4 straight years at least I think. She always seems to have a good run at Wimbledon despite sucking everywhere else. GHW Kvitova 6-3 2-6 6-3. Now before we go on, I was informed by one of my fanz that there is this very very vicious rumour going around that Kvitova dumped her lil boyfriend and might be cuddling up with Radek Stepanek….I just vomited a lil in my mouth. I mean seriously… I am not substantiating this rumour or anything but WTF?? WTMFF?? Who the hell is this guy? I mean, he is one of the ugliest things on tour….oh okay, perhaps I am not supposed to say that he is ugly as we are all God’s creatures…But good heavens is this guy unpretty? How is it that he is bagging these ladies? Nicole Viadisova, Martina Hingis and now possibly Petra Kvitova? Hold up! Hold up! I mean clearly drugs are involved. Martina Hingis…hello…The thing is, if any of this is true about Petra and Shark Boy, is that Radek is a married man. He is married to Nicole who inexplicably gave up her career to be a housewife. It should be noted that whenever Radek gets with a lady on tour, her tennis suffers tremendously as a result.

Stephens again having a nice run at the majors

Stephens again having a nice run at the majors

Anyway, Sloane Stephens (17) finished off Petra Cetkovska in the 3rd set 6-4. Stephens who had dropped the 2nd set 0-6, showed some guts which she only seem to display at majors this year. Anyway, she is through to her 1st Round of 16 at Wimbledon. Pironkova, another player who seem to come alive at majors, in particular this major, is also through to the Round of 16. She beat Petra Martic 6-1 4-6 6-2. Pironkova is through to her 3rd Round of 16 at Wimbledon if I am not mistaken. Monica Puig has extended her run of good fortunes at this major as she made it to the 2nd week. She took out Birnerova 4-6 6-3 6-4. I am really happy for the Puerto Rican. 14th Sam Stosur looked poised to have a good run at Wimbledon but you know Sam and how anti-success she can be. With a game tailor made for the grass, she always has better luck on the clay than grass. Anyway, she won the 1st set 6-4 but then lost her way as Sabine Lisicki who seems to love the grass, came back blazing 6-2 6-1. Losicki is in another round of 16 at Wimbledon. Last year, she won over Shriekapova.

Sabine in sweet form at these Championships

Sabine in sweet form at these Championships

Other winners include Laura Robson who has finally given the British crowd something to cheer about on the ladies side. She took out Marina Erakovic of New Zealand who if I am not mistaken, served for the match. However, Robson came back to take the whole thing in 3 sets. Robson 1-6 7-5 6-3. Last year’s finalist Aggie Radwanska (4) has been quietly moving through the draw without much fanfare and this is just the way she likes it. She took on American Madison Keys who I was hoping would have caused the upset but Bratzwanska proved to be too much for the teenager and Radwanska is through to the 4th round 7-5 4-6 6-3. Kaia Kanepi took out another American teenager Riske in straight sets 6-2 6-3. Meanwhile Roberta Vinci (11) is also through to the Round of 16 as she took out 18th seed Dominika Cibulkova in straight sets 6-1 6-4. This is a somewhat surprising result because Vinci has not really shown much prowess to do much on grass and Cibulkova is a player with a lot of potential. However, Cibulkova loves pace and Vinci can give you a lot of “junk” and most definitely is not about power play.

Thanks for coming Granny Goodness... Now go bake me up cookies. The tennis court is not place for a lady like you

Thanks for coming Granny Goodness… Now go bake me up cookies. The tennis court is not place for a lady like you

The two remaining 3rd round match ups saw the Serenanator and LiNaLi getting through to the 4th round. The Serenanator took out Granny Goodness Date-Krumm 6-2 6-0. This really was no contest but Granny did well to get to this round. LiNaLi was another story. I would have loved for Klara Zakopalova to get through to the next round but LiNaLi got her life together. Klara (32) took the 1st set 6-4 but got bagelled in the 2nd 0-6. In the 3rd set they played 14 games and Li came out on top 8-6. I think Klara is capable of being a real contender on tour but as always these young ones always seem to lose their way to the top.

All of my greatest threats have been bounced. I am in it to win it

All of my greatest threats have been bounced. I am in it to win it

On the men’s side, matters were more or less routine. Djoker (1) dispatched of Chardy (28) in straight sets 6-3 6-2 6-2. Meanwhile, Fiery Ferrer (4) was a bit cold against Dolgopolov (28) but pulled through in 5 sets 6-7 7-6 2-6 6-1 6-2. Dolgopolov would do well to work on his game and his focus his energy on career. He has such potential. A fanz explained to me that Dolgopolov loves the drink and once for certain showed up for a match drunk. The fanz was providing 1st hand information but rehashed gossip  (as is so frequently published on blogs….of course no such rehashed rubbish is ever posted on this prestigious publication)

Tommy Haas is all excited that he is through to the 4th round of Wimbledon. Unfortunately, he faces Djoker

Tommy Haas is all excited that he is through to the 4th round of Wimbledon. Unfortunately, he faces Djoker

13th seed Tommy Haas took out FeFe Lopez in 4 sets 4-6 6-2 7-5 6-4. I expected a bigger fight from Lopez but I guess in the end he had other issues to worry about seeing as his X Divadal is out vacationing and guess who just lost, yep Juan Monaco. Monaco (22) inexplicably lost to Kevin De Schepper from France 4-6 6-7 4-6. I do not know what the hell is going on in Monaco’s life but he has been well off the plot this year.

FeFe Lopez got bounced by the German

FeFe Lopez got bounced by the German

His mind is elsewhere

His mind is elsewhere

This is what has his mind all over the place

This is what has his mind all over the place

Juan Martin Del Potro (8) won over Greg Zemlja 7-5 7-6 6-0 and 7th seed Berdshite also won over lengthy Kevin Anderson (27) 3-6 6-3 6-4 7-5. In perhaps the only major upset of the day, Richard Gasquet (9) was bounced from the tournament 6-7 7-5 5-7 6-7 to Bernard Tampomic. This is quite shocking because none of the seeded Frenchmen are around, which means that Benoit Paire (25) lost to Lukas Kubot in straight sets 1-6 3-6 4-6. There was another retirement as Dodig moved through to the 4th round when his opponent Sijsling retired after being down 0-6 1-6 0-1. Other winners include 5 set king Andreas Seppi (23) who knocked out Nishikori 3-6 6-2 6-7 6-1 6-4. Seppi seems to love playing 5 set matches. Mikhail Youzhny (20) and Fernando Tabasco Verdasco are both through to the 4th round. They have a lot in common. They have a lot of potential but mainly try to suck at tennis so badly you find it impossible to believe that they were ever in the top 10 at one point in their career. Youzhny took out Troicki in straight sets as did Verdasco when he bounced Ernest Gulbis (talk about another wasted talent).

Had you shown this level of tenacity on court, perhaps you might have done better

Had you shown this level of tenacity on court, perhaps you might have done better

Bonehead Benoit. He lost the match and now going to lose his money

Bonehead Benoit. He lost the match and now going to lose his money

There will I hope be a preview issue for the round of 16 match up where I will try to give some sorta insights into the Monday Madness as well as my predictions. Do not get to Follow this blog and also COMMENT!

Yes I won two games. Thank the tennis gods for small miracles

Yes I won two games. Thank the tennis gods for small miracles

And weave is flowing... This lion definitely needs taming

And weave is flowing… This lion definitely needs taming

For you Tiann

For you Tiann

Which one of you motherfcukers farted in the royal box? I don't smell anything

Which one of you motherfcukers farted in the royal box? I don’t smell anything

Gurl do me now. Remember not too much red on this side... it does not bring out my eyes

Gurl do me now. Remember not too much red on this side… it does not bring out my eyes

Bernard being a bad bad bad boy

Bernard being a bad bad bad boy

So he's on his knees and there's balls out in the open.....all of the elements are there but why isn't this picture right?

So he’s on his knees and there’s balls out in the open…..all of the elements are there but why isn’t this picture right?

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Wimbledon 2013: Day 5

In Alexander Dolgopolov, Alize Cornet, Andreas Seppi, Andy Murray, Angelique Kerber, Carla Suarez Narravo, Dustin Brown, Fernando Verdasco, Flavia Pennetta, Grigor Dimitrov, Jerzy Janowicz, Laura Robson, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Nicolas Almagro, Petra Kvitova, Rafael Nadal, Sergiy Stakhovsky, Slaone Stephens, Tennis, Tommy Haas, Tommy Robredo, Urszula Radwanska, Wimbledon on June 29, 2013 at 7:56 am

court_2964517

wimbledon-rain

For Day 5 of Wimbledon, the rains wreaked havoc on the schedule, hampering much of the day’s play. With the weather being so unpredictable, only 1 of the 18 courts were in operation; Centre Court where play begins at 1:00 p.m. Meanwhile, regular scheduled play starts at 11:30 p.m. Added to all of this is the fact that men’s doubles matches are best of 5 sets. Did I mention that Wimbledon does not play tennis on the middle Sunday? And they wonder why things are always so backed up each year. Utter madness if you ask me. The English hold onto traditions despite the overwhelming evidence that not only are they archaic but also inefficient.  Anyway, when the rains did let up, they were able to complete all of the suspended and postponed matches that were carrying over from yesterday.

Oh all rightey then... I am not sure how to even approach this one. It's June/July in England right? Just checking

Oh all rightey then… I am not sure how to even approach this one. It’s June/July in England right? Just checking

There were only three ladies 2nd round matches to be completed and 2 of them were fought amongst unseeded players. Young British hopeful, Laura Robson is through to the 3rd round with a convincing victory over her Venezuelan opponent, 6-4 6-1. This was her 1st win on Centre Court according to the pundits. I am sure she has not had that much visits to the arena in the 1st place for it to be a mentionable stat but I am not even gonna check them on that. Bratzwanska’s sister Urszula Radwanska looked poised to get to the 2nd week on Wimbledon but she as per the norm lost her mind on court and went down in 3 sets to American Alison Riske 6-4 3-6 4-6. In the lone upset of the day, Kaia Kanepi knocked out 7th seed Angelina Carebear Kerber in 3 sets. Kanepi always makes a good showing of herself at both the French Open and Wimbledon and yesterday was no different. Kanepi looked to be down and out in the 1set set but she came back in the tiebreaker and totally dominated the 3rd set. Kanepi is through to the 3rd round 3-6 7-6 6-3.

Laura Robson: Have you seen the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man? Have you seen the muffin man who lives on Centre Court Lane?

Laura Robson: Have you seen the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man? Have you seen the muffin man who lives on Centre Court Lane?

Carebear Kerber was feeling no love yesterday from Kanepi

Carebear Kerber was feeling no love yesterday from Kanepi

I am not about niceness...I'm a gonna punch you in the face itch!

I am not about niceness…I’m a gonna punch you in the face itch!

On the men’s side, five 2nd round matches were to be completed. 29th seed Grigor Dimitrov was facing sudden death against his opponent Greg Zemlja being down 8-9. Dimitrov had to stave off 4/5 match points in his opening serving game for the day and though he was able to save himself then. His erratic/inconsistent style of play let him down and he was sent bouncing 9-11 in the 5th set. With this 2nd round loss, it proves how perfect coupling he and Shriekapova are; a matching pair of 2nd round losers. Anyway, 13th seed Tommy Haas won his match against Taipei’s Wang 6-3 6-2 7-5. 26th seed Dolgopolov aka BWLLAGWLLAB finished off his Colombian opponent Giraldo 6-4 7-5 6-3. Fiery Ferrer (4) and Jeremy Chardy (28) had to get through their matches in 4 sets. All these players were had to complete their 2nd round matches yesterday will play again today for a place in the Round of 16 matches on Monday.

Au revoir Grigor

Au revoir Grigor

I got all dolled up for an epic 5th set match up and this mofo lost it in 3 games. WTF? Let me get out of here before someone notices me.

I got all dolled up for an epic 5th set match up and this mofo lost it in 3 games. WTF? Let me get out of here before someone notices me.

Of the 8 scheduled men’s matches, only 4 were completed and the trend of upsetter getting knocked out in the next round continued as both Dustin Brown who took out Hewitt and Sergiy Stakhovsky who took out Mr. Federer, were sent packing by their opponents. Brown lost in straight sets to Adrian Mannarino 4-6 2-6 5-7 and Stakhovsky lost in 4 to Jurgen Meltdown 2-6 6-2 5-7 3-6. The felix felicis potion that both Brown and Stakhovsky took in their previous round most definitely wore off and they looked their usual mediocre selves on court.

WTF? The magic potion wore off already?? SHITE

WTF? The magic potion wore off already?? SHITE

I beat Mr. Federer and I am still a loser...I can't take this anymore

I beat Mr. Federer and I am still a loser…I can’t take this anymore

Andy Murray the 2nd seed had to face 32nd seed Tommy Robredo which potentially could have been a tricky match for the Scotsman. However, he dealt with it quite decisively as he dominated nearly all areas of the match 6-2 6-4 7-5. He has a very easy draw with Divadal, Tsonga and Mr. Federer being out already from the tournament. The stars could not have aligned themselves more perfectly for Lochness Monster to get to his 2nd consecutive Wimbledon final. Jerzy Janowicz (24) who is fast becoming a fan favourite is through to this 1st Round of 16 at a major if I am not mistaken. He took on Nicolas Almagro (15) who was unable to win a set as the Pole showed consistent and brilliant plays to win the match 7-6 6-3 6-4. The other 4 matches were postponed for today’s schedule. I guess now it makes sense for the players to have this middle Sunday off. The most interesting matchup of the quartet is Gulbis v Verdasco.

Lochness Monster as always looking unpretty

Lochness Monster as always looking unpretty

Janowicz is let's say very very strong in the face. He looks like Iron Man while in the suit

Janowicz is let’s say very very strong in the face. He looks like Iron Man while in the suit

I think this might Jerzy's daddy

I think this might Jerzy’s daddy

On the ladies’ side, only 5 of the 8 matches were completed with the other three being suspended. Flavia Pennetta knocked out the 29th seed Alize Cornet 0-6 7-6 6-2. Michelle Larcher d Brito who took out Maria Sharapova was knocked out herself when her Italian opponent Knapp snapped her in two 7-5 6-2. Marian Bartoli (15) aka la petite grosse is still hanging around and can prove to be a dangerous floating as this half of the draw is now wide open. Bartoli exacted revenge of sorts for Cornet by beating another Italian Giorgi 6-4 7-5. The 19th and 20th seeds, Carlo Suarez-Navarro and Kris Flipkens both won their matches in straight sets to progress to the 2nd week.

Oh Carlo

Oh Carlo

Oh Martian Bartoli

Oh Martian Bartoli

Stephens (17) and Cetkovska will begin the 3rd set today after splitting the first two. Stephens got bagelled in the 2nd set. Monica Puig who upset Errani on the 1st day of the Championships dropped the 1st set against her opponent and will resume play down 1-2 in the 2nd. Petra Kvitova aka Grand High Witch, 2011 Wimbledon champion needs to get GPS on her broom or something because she is always losing her way in matches. The 8th seed is the highest remaining seed in the bottom half of the draw and face the ever dangerous floater Ekaterina Makarova (25). You would remember that Makarova in 2012 knocked out the Serenanator out of the Aussie Open. Anyway, GHW won the 1st set 6-3 then dropped the 2nd 2-6. She is currently down 1-2 in the 3rd set. I really do not know what to say about Kvitova anymore. I mean there is potential there but certainly is neither fitness nor mental fortitude there.

Petra is petrified to win these days

Petra is petrified to win these days

I don't know where I put my book of spells

I don’t know where I put my book of spells

And we are back on schedule. PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO SPREAD THE WORD AROUND ABOUT REALZTENISFANZ. I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY AND ALL COMMENTS, FEEDBACK AND HATERATION.

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The Serenanator and Lochness Monster have allegedly agreed to a Battle of the Sexes exhibition match up

The Serenanator and Lochness Monster have allegedly agreed to a Battle of the Sexes exhibition match up

I for one do not agree to this sorta thing because clearly the Serenantor outclasses Nessie

I for one do not agree to this sorta thing because clearly the Serenantor outclasses Nessie

No m'am you are not going to find a real sense of style there either.

No m’am you are not going to find a real sense of style there either.

I guess there are two muffin men running around Wimbledon

I guess there are two muffin men running around Wimbledon

Motherfcuker that's just uncouth. You're fixing your freaking dentures in the royal box on Centre Court. I can't take your @$$ anywhere

Motherfcuker that’s just uncouth. You’re fixing your freaking dentures in the royal box on Centre Court. I can’t take your @$$ anywhere

Front: Grigor's "girlfriend" Behind Zemlja's "boyfriend" Sweetheart, you couldn't do something about that mug... Really? It's like someone dragged you away from the home depot to watch the match. It would need more than a little makeup to do you wonders

Front: Grigor’s “girlfriend” Behind Zemlja’s “boyfriend” Sweetheart, you couldn’t do something about that mug… Really? It’s like someone dragged you away from the home depot to watch the match. It would need more than a little makeup to do you wonders

I thought you said she does not come to your matches. I didn't know she was going to be here. She lost early so she said she'll pop in as she had all this free time. But this was suppose to be out time... I know... I'm sorry

What is she doing here? I thought you said she does not come to your matches. I didn’t know she was going to be here. She lost early so she said she’ll pop in as she had all this free time. But this was suppose to be out time… I know… I’m sorry

 

And here we have Divadal in the Swimsuit category: He has chosen to accessorize the true blue trunks with some crime scene tape on the left knee. The irony: We all know it is criminal how Divadal be using that "knee" as an excuse for all his failures in life.

And here we have Divadal in the Swimsuit category: He has chosen to accessorize the true blue trunks with some crime scene tape on the left knee. The irony: We all know it is criminal how Divadal be using that “knee” as an excuse for all his failures in life.

First off gurl, this is tennis court not Night court so you can't wear negligee on this court and second, you're making me hard and that's very distracting right now to call this match.

First off gurl, this is tennis court not Night court so you can’t wear negligee on this court and second, you’re making me hard and that’s very distracting right now to call this match.

Day 4 of Wimbledon 2013

In Bernard Tomic, Dominika Cibulkova, Feliciano Lopez, Grigor Dimitrov, James Blake, Jerzy Janowicz, Juan Martin Del Potro, Kei Nishikori, Maria Sharapova, Novak Djokovic, Paul-Henri Mathieu, Sabine Lisicki, Sam Stosur, Serena Williams, Tomas Berdych, Wimbledon on June 28, 2013 at 7:46 am

Day 4 proved to be a better day for seeded players as no major upsets occurred unless you count the rains which finally came and put an end to nearly half of the day’s scheduled matches. Nonetheless, matches were played.

Apparently the rain isn't in Spain

Apparently the rain isn’t in Spain

On the ladies’ side, the Serenanator put an end to any upset bug spreading at Wimbledon when she dealt with the Frenchwoman Caroline Garcia. This was the 2nd major in a row that they were meeting in the 2nd round and it was a 2nd spanking for the Frenchwoman. Serena 6-3 6-2. 4th seed Bratzwanska also won comfortably over her Mathilde Johansson another Frenchwoman. LiNaLi (6) had a drop in the brain as she fought off Simona Halep 6-2 1-6 6-0 to move through to the 3rd round. 11th and 14th seed Vinci and Stosur are also through to the 3rd round. It is surprising that Stosur has got this far at Wimbledon as she has always struggled on the grass. She could meet the Serenanator in the Round of 16 if they both progressed to that stage. Stosur has pegged the American in their last two major meetings.

Gurl this wear is a real mess. You need to fix this STAT

Gurl this wear is a real mess. You need to fix this STAT

What's in the bag Patty? Don't ask questions if you might not like the answer Sascha

What’s in the bag Patty? Serenanator and I have plans later….if you know what I mean. WINK WINK

 

Why hasn't this girl washed this ridiculous dye out of her hair as yet??

Why hasn’t this girl washed this ridiculous dye out of her hair as yet??

 

Moaning Mona Barthel most certainly wanted to flush herself down a toilet because her game stunk!!

Moaning Mona Barthel most certainly wanted to flush herself down a toilet because her game stunk!!

 

Roberta Vinci. I do not know why she always looks like someone's grandmother

Roberta Vinci. I do not know why she always looks like someone’s grandmother

 

Cibulkova

Cibulkova

 

Madison Keys

Madison Keys

 

Granny Goodness

Granny Goodness

 

LiNaLi finally got her life together

LiNaLi finally got her life together

 

Also looking to be in splendid form is Sabine Lisicki (23) who has always enjoyed a nice run on the grass at Wimbledon. She took out Vesnina in straight sets and will move into the 3rd round. Other seeded players who made it through include Dominika Cibulkova (18) and Klara Zakopalova (32). Granny Goodness Kimiko Date-Krumm at the age of 42 has made it through to the 3rd round of a major. She will however play the Serenanator for a place in the Round of 16. By way of upsets, both the 24th seed, Shuai Peng and 30th seed, Moaning Mona Barthel were knocked out of the draw by two up and coming players, New Zealand’s Marina Erakovic and American Madison Keys.

Look at those legs for Lisicki

Look at those legs for Lisicki

On the men’s side of the draw, top seed Djoker Harlequeen got through his match somewhat comfortably albeit he had to play it under the closed roof of Centre Court. He took the last American man in the draw, Bobby Reynolds in straight sets.

Hey gurl!!

Hey gurl!!

Bust a move!!!

Bust a move!!!

By this time, both James Blake and Denis Kudla had already been eliminated from the tournament. You know it is problem when American men are struggling to win matches on grass. Anyway, 7th seed, Berdshite (he beat my baby Daniel Brands…as if Berdshite needs more reason for me to dislike him) and 8th seed Beast Boy Del Potro also moved through to the 3rd round in straight sets. Although for a minute, Del Potro took a walkabout but he did not lose a set as the 9th seed Richard Gasquet did in his match. Gasquet, however, won his encounter and moved to the next round. He has had some success on the grass in the past so he is looking to continue that trend. 12th seed Kei Nishikori also won. 17th seed Milos Raonic lost in straight sets to Dutch Igor Sijsling and I think it is time we write off Raonic as another potential talent that went to the planet of Nowhere. He seems to only have strength for Mr. Federer on the tour level but continues to struggle everywhere else. Perhaps we are being too harsh on him but I eagerly await for me to prove me wrong.

Beast Boy is through to the 3rd round

Beast Boy is through to the 3rd round

Huh? What's going on here? Can someone help me find my way home?

Huh? What’s going on here? Can someone help me find my way home?

Two other players withdrew on the men’s side and this time a pair of Frenchmen; Michael Llodra and Paul-Henri Mathieu. This brings the total number of retirement at this year’s Wimbledon to 12 and we have yet to complete the 2nd round. We are one shy of the record of 13 from Wimbledon 2008. Feliciano Lopez is through to the 3rd round due to Mathieu’s retirement. Andrea Seppi (23) benefitted from Llodra’s withdrawal as he moved through to the 3rd round. Llodra retired from his singles match to later play doubles with Nicolas Mahut and they moved through to the next round when one of their opponents retired. Llodra stated that his hamstring being precarious at this stage, faced less uncertainty when he plays doubles because he only has to cover half the court. I guess since many players often default from doubles when they have a nice singles run, we should not be too surprised that the opposite can occur. Nonetheless, we are not a huge fan of Llodra in these parts, so I would just say to Llodra “WHATEVER! Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Mr. Shriekapova aka Dimitrov, is locked in a battle down 8-9 in the 5th set and was getting ready to serve to stay in the match when the rains came. He resumes his match early tomorrow.

Hotness Lopez

Hotness Lopez

I put a picture here of Kei for one of my fanz.... a lil tongue action for you

I put a picture here of Kei for one of my fanz…. a lil tongue action for you

I am just gonna have a lil snack break of grass

I am just gonna have a lil snack break of grass

Hmmm

Hmmm

10.0 for Grigor Dimitrov

10.0 for Grigor Dimitrov

And his "girlfriend" definitely likes what she see

And his “girlfriend” definitely likes what she see

OMG, this is a real life black person in our midst. I have never touched one of you before. Are you understanding what I am saying?

OMG, this is a real life black person in our midst. I have never touched one of you before. Are you understanding what I am saying?

Anyway I think we have finally got it and back on schedule! Please do not forget to follow Realz on Twitter, like on Facebook and also Follow this blog!

Wimbledon 2013: Day 3 Wild, Whacky and Weird Wimbledon

In Andy Murray, Dustin Brown, Jelena Jankovic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Petra Kvitova, Roger Federer, Sports Blog, Steve Darcis, Tennis, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 27, 2013 at 6:17 am

I woke up for Day 3 of Wimbledon all excited because mainly Mr. Federer would be playing. Unfortunately, I had to work which annoys the shit out of me. That I am not working professionally in the tennis/writing/journalism field is utter MADNESS!. Nonetheless, I gotta eat and pay rent and hence got to put in my face at a place where I am sure they have grown tired of seeing it altogether. So if any of you fanz know of decent work with pays well, drop me a line.

I am so serious about this!

I am so serious about this!

Anyway, I digress. So Day 3 of Wimbledon started and there has been no signs of rain, which is quite unbelievable at this point. So before I left for work I was watching the Lleyton Hewitt v Dustin Brown match. Now you know Hewitt took out the 11th seed Wawrinka to find himself in the 2nd round. Brown was in the 2nd round of a major which I am almost certain is very very new to him. This was the 1st match up on Court 2 if I am not mistaken. Anyway, I was watching and Brown was winning against Hewitt. Now this was bizarre though I was enjoying it. Hewitt was the last non Federer/Nadal/Djoker winner of Wimbledon back in 2002 and here was being schooled by Dustin Brown who can barely win a tournament on the Challenger level.

Bruce+Forsyth+wife+Royal+box+Day+3+Wimbledon+etuAUpWBg7Al

You do not even know how unusual this sight is

For those of you who do not follow me on Twitter, last year Brown and I got into a bit of a “spat” on the social media forum. Last year Wimbledon, Brown played David Ferrer in the 1st round and lost in STRAIGHT SETS. He never had a set point but if I am not mistaken, “DreddyTennis” took Ferrer to like 5-7 in a couple of the sets. This was seemingly a routine win for Ferrer. However, DreddyTennis (that’s his Twitter handle) took to TimeLine to be carrying on like he almost won the match and could have had a deep run at Wimbledon as Ferrer struggled somewhat through the rounds. Some fools, I suspect his close friends, were all like “You could have gone far in this tournament, look at how Ferrer lost etc” I could check the record but Brown is not really worth fact checking because the truth is, he has done nothing.

Nuff said

Nuff said

Now you know me, I had to keep it Realz and shut this shite down quick. I follow him on Twitter because I have to admit he at times seem an interesting fellow being all half Jamaican/half German and all. So I quietly told Mr. Dreddy Tennis to pump his brakes because he did not win the match or even a set, so he needed to stop with the hyperbolic bullshit on the airwaves. Dreddy Tennis also has this very annoying habit of retweeting any and all comments posted on his TimeLine. Now I admit, I could easily “unfollow” him but I did not and he responded to me. Well you know that just made things more interesting. He imagined me to be some common heckler and did not know my stats or my tennis. He retorted with the basic point of “Well you cannot do better/You’re a hater” some garbage line like that. Really Dreddy? I think we can do better than that. I explained to the Dead Hair and Bones creature that he barely won a match on the tour level, I think he had won one match of the 5 tour level tournaments he got in for the year and we are talking about June 2012. Brown cannot even win a Challenger Level trophy and often unable to qualify for the main draw through the qualifying rounds and he is out there trying to act like he could had a run at Wimbledon. Gurl get your life! Clearly those shit locks are indicative of the crap that is in your head. You know I threw her stats back in her face and informed her that I am in fact a hater but I hate judiciously. I am a fan of his but I am not a fan of his “braggidious bullshit” and he was no “motherfcuking Paszek” who was tearing up the ladies draw at the time. That put a break on his garbage and he came back with some silly lines but he knew I had won that Twitter war.

He has a tongue ring hmmmm

He has a tongue ring hmmmm

Hmmmmm all righty then

Hmmmmm all righty then

Anyhow, here we are in 2013 and he won a match at the major (perhaps his 1st) and he was serving and volleying like Rod Laver out on court. Him getting to the 2nd round was his 1st win of the year on the tour level. He is 7-5 at the challenger level this year. There was a lot of stylish play and Hewitt seemed unable to handle any of Brown’s awesomeness on court. What made matters even worst for Hewitt I am sure was that Brown was “brown” and Hewitt being that ever so lovely cuddly Aussie love everybody was not having a good time. Hewitt had a rather ugly incident in 2002 at the US Open with James Blake/chair umpire and lines judge. Hewitt blatantly accused the linesman of making calls in favour of Blake because they were both black. Oh yeah, he said it and he said it loudly while on court during play. James Blake was unable to win the match to shit the fcuker up but I never forgot that incident as it was just another reason why I am an honorary member of the Hewitt’s Haters Club.

Goodbye mate

Goodbye mate

Anyway, Brown was giving me my revenge today. I have to say that Brown’s plays were par excellence. He could barely do wrong at the net and he was showing great game sense throughout. He won the 1st 2 sets 6-4 6-4 but then played a limped dick 3rd set tiebreaker to drop it 6-7. I left for work at this time but got out of the subway to see that he crushed the Aussie 6-2 in the 4th set. Now, the fact that Brown was so badly beating Hewitt should have registered as an anomaly in my mind but I ignored the signs. I mean Hewitt has been battling injuries for years now and has been struggling to keep his rankings decent these days and Brown is younger and far quicker. However, still Hewitt should have legitimately won this match.

Look at this skinny madness

Look at this skinny madness

Then I checked the scores and say that Ivanovic the Terrible (12) took the court and got dismantled 2-6 2-6. I knew she was way too skinny. Did I mention that Vickie (2) withdrew from the tournament at this time before the start of her 2nd round match? Yes, Vickie was out and so did Tsonga (6) who when I left home was beating Gulbis but subsequently dropped the 2nd and 3rd sets and then retired from the match. Oh yeah, Marin Cilic (10) retired from his match as did John Isner aka BFG (18). Steve Darcis who slayed the giant that is Divadal in the 1st round, withdrew from the tournament before the start of his 2nd round match and then Radek Stepanek retired while playing Jerzy Janowicz (24). Petra Kvitova moved through to the 3rd round as Shvedova withdrew. Then it was a virtual shite show, Danish Biscuit up and got crumbled in straight sets to Petra Cetkovska. I was not really surprised but I mean Danish Biscuit is the 9th seed and you would think that by June, she would have figured her game out by now. She has done much of substance for the year and still in the top 10. That I do not get.

Some of Day 3 results

Some of Day 3 results

Anyway, she was hardly the upset of the day. Maria Shriekapova who was all talk last couple of days, trying to come for the Serenantor. However, she got her @$$ handed to her by some qualifier, Maria De Brito Larcher of Portugal. Now the thing is that Shriekapova does not lose to mignons. She hardly gets bounced early in tournament and here she was getting mowed over on the grass by some no-namer. Funny, I picked the qualifier over Maria because for some reason I knew Maria was not focused. She was far too focused on playing media wars against the Serenanator. But you see, the Serenanator is so generous, she decided to share the Maria Massacres around and let someone else have a go. 6-3 6-4 was the scoreline at the end of the day and Shriekapova will only be shrieking from the sidelines for her “boo” Grigor.

OMG I think I broke it

OMG I think I broke it

Yes I think I really broke it

Yes I think I really broke it

Don't worry. It's just dislocated. I'm putting it back in place so that you can take your beatdown

Don’t worry. It’s just dislocated. I’m putting it back in place so that you can take your beatdown

So what had happened is that it felt like I felt a snap, then a heard a crackle and then it just popped out of place.

So what had happened is that it felt like I felt a snap, then a heard a crackle and then it just popped out of place.

I mean it was utter madness all over but yet I ignored all of this and felt confident that my man Mr. Federer was going to win against this Sergiy Stakhovsky of Ukraine. I mean after all this was the 2nd round and who the hell was this Stakhovsky?

Mr. Federer has entered the arena

Mr. Federer has entered the arena

But you know there is a very famous saying at Realz that we always say, “The game is won and lost on the field NOT on paper” And Mr. Federer lost. I could not believe this. What was even worse was that I was at work dealing with people’s nonsensical bullshit and not at home cheering on my man. I was madder than a hatter. I was breathing fire and ready to blaze whoever crossed my path. 7-6 6-7 5-7 6-7 was how my Mr. Federer went out in the 2nd round which ended the streak of 36 consecutive major quarterfinals or better. I was crushed and most certainly devastated. This was his earliest exit from a major since 2003 if I am not mistaken.

Sergiy S

Sergiy Stakhovsky

And Mr. Federer is quietly leaving the arena

And Mr. Federer is quietly leaving the arena

In the press conference, Mr. Federer was in good spirits. He did not cry. He mentioned that this streak was much the talk of the press and they made the mistake of already writing Divadal and him into the quarterfinals, which he noted was a bit disrespectful of the other guys on tour. He said he is far from retiring. I am being greedy in always wanting Mr. Federer to win tournaments. The fact of the matter is that Mr. Federer has done A LOT and he need not do anything else to prove that he is the greatest of all time. His records and contribution to the game both on and off the court are astounding and I need not have him win his 8th Wimbledon crown to feel better about the matter. I am not going complain if he wins but I am not going to beat up myself about his loss. I thank you Mr. Federer for everything! Furthermore, we got to the 2nd round and won a set in our defeat. That is far more than Divadal can say for this year. Thank God for small miracles.

How do I feel?

How do I feel?

Of course I feel sad. I love Wimbledon and I do not even know who the fcuk this Stakhovsky guy is and I lost to him. No Bueno...muy muy mal today

Of course I feel sad. I love Wimbledon and I do not even know who the fcuk this Stakhovsky guy is and I lost to him. No Bueno…muy muy mal today

Any upside to this lost besides more time with the family

Any upside to this lost besides more time with the family

I won a match here at Wimbledon and a set in my loss... a lot more than Divadal can say for his efforts

I won a match here at Wimbledon and a set in my loss… a lot more than Divadal can say for his efforts

Anyway, it was not all topsy turvy on the day. Tabasco Verdasco caused an upset of sorts when he knocked out Julian Benneteau (31) in straight sets. Lochness Monster Murray (2) avoided the upset bug and moved through to the 3rd round comfortably in straight sets. Nicolas Almagro (15) will join his countryman Tommy Robredo (32) in the 3rd round. Other winners include Mikhail Youzhny (20), Juan Monaco (22) Benoit Paire (25), Jurgen Melzer. On the ladies’ side, Bartoli (15) Sloane Stephens (17), Carla Suarez-Navarro (19) and Alize Cornet (29) are all through to the 3rd round. Stephens took out Andrea Petkovic 8-6 in the 3rd set. Petkovic is trying to find her way back into form on tour but has had a string of bad luck injuries. Monica Puig of Puerto Rico continues her good By way of upsets, Bojana Jovanovski, Jelena Fivehead Jungle Witch Jankovic (16) and Sorana Cirstea (22) were all bounced from the tournament. I would only miss Bojana.

None of her fivehead could help her out on court today

None of her fivehead could help her out on court today

Lady Gollum cannot find precious out on court

Lady Gollum cannot find precious out on court

I see Carla is giving me a touch more femininity this time around...

I see Carla is giving me a touch more femininity this time around…

Ah... scratch that... it's El Nino as usual

Ah… scratch that… it’s El Nino as usual

WTF Sloane? WTMFF is this getup?

WTF Sloane? WTMFF is this getup?

Jazzercise!! Yeah m'am

Jazzercise!! Yeah m’am

What do you mean there's no injury time out for broken vagina??

What do you mean there’s no injury time out for broken vagina??

We're just chilling out here today

We’re just chilling out here today

Here these ladies are showing us how to get off while on court very discreetly and with simple tools at hand; the water bottle and the racquet

Here these ladies are showing us how to get off while on court very discreetly and with simple tools at hand; the water bottle and the racquet

Wimbledon 2013 Day 2

In Angelique Kerber, Bernard Tomic, Daniel Brands, David Ferrer, Feliciano Lopez, Gilles Simon, Grigor Dimitrov, James Blake, Juan Martin Del Potro, Laura Robson, Maria Kirilenko, Mikhail Youzhny, Milos Raonic, Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Stanislav Wawrinka, Tennis, Tomas Berdych on June 26, 2013 at 6:01 am
Getting the lines ready for the Serenanator

Getting the lines ready for the Serenanator

On Day 2, The Serenanator began the defense of her title in convincing style. She dominated her opponent 6-1 6-3 to move through to the 2nd round and extend her winning streak to 32. The oldest number one ranked player was joined in the 2nd round by the oldest woman in the draw, Granny Goodness Kimiko Date-Krumm who won her match 6-0 6-2 to move through to the 2nd round of a major. Overall, nothing particular exciting happened today on the women’s side as nearly all the usual suspects moved through to the 2nd round.

I am ready to do battle today!

I am ready to do battle today!

Gurl, your hair is a mess. You need to get this weave business today...It's like a fox is trying to jump out your head or something... No Bueno...

Gurl, your hair is a mess. You need to get this weave business today…It’s like a fox is trying to jump out your head or something… No Bueno…

Bratzwanska (4), LiNaLi (6), Kerber (7), Vinci (11), Stosur (14), Cibulkova (18), Lisicki (23) and 30th seed Moaning Barthel all went through to the next round without much fanfare. However, there were some “upsets” as Anastasia Pavlyunchenkova aka Fattychunkova lost to Pironkova. Fatty is now working with Martina Hingis but I have yet to see any real results from their partnership. Julia Georges of Germany who has shown such great promise in the past has been fading like the night at dusk and so was bounced from the tournament. British hopefully Laura Robson gave the home crowd much to cheer about as she totally dismantled 10th seed Maria Kirilenko 6-3 6-4. I mean it is Krazilenko we are talking about here right

Yeah I know, I am playing Krazilenko...of course it was that easy

Yeah I know, I am playing Krazilenko…of course it was that easy

England is beside itself over this win but I would not get too excited over this matter if I were them. Robson always knocks out a seed or two but then loses it in the end. Great Britain should rest their hopes someplace else. She is not going to do any real damage here. I do not understand players always trying to make some noise at majors whilst they can hardly win a match on tour. Really if you want an easier time at majors, win more on the tour level, make a name for yourself and I guarantee you that you can easily with a set and a half just on your name only.

She is ready for her close up. Djoker Harlequeen wants another Wimbledon title

She is ready for her close up. Djoker Harlequeen wants another Wimbledon title

Anyway on the men’s side: Top seed Djoker looked poised to lay claim to his 2nd Wimbledon title in 3 years since he has a Betty Crocker Easy Bake Over Draw. His semifinal opponent is none other than Fiery Ferrer. Divadal (well he is out now), Mr. Federer and Lochness Monster are all on the bottom half of the draw. Djoker is through to the 2nd round in straight sets as did the Beast Boy Del Potro (8), Tomas Berdshite (7) and Tommy Haas (13). Fiery Ferrer (4) came through in 4 sets as did the 9th seed Richard Gasquet. By way of notable upsets, 19th seed Gilles Simon went down in flames to Feliciano Lopez who is unseeded here in straight sets. Bernard Tampomic took out the 21st seed Sam Querry aka The Grinch in 5 sets. 23rd seed Andreas Seppi won his match however, in 5 sets averting an upset.

Trying to hump the ground is this Berdshite

Trying to hump the ground is this Berdshite

Bye Bye Stan the Man

Bye Bye Stan the Man

Isn't there a rule against this kinda match up??

Isn’t there a rule against this kinda match up??

Can someone tell me how this is allowed into Wimbledon but Mr. Federer's orange sole shoes aren't???

Can someone tell me how this is allowed into Wimbledon but Mr. Federer’s orange sole shoes aren’t???

These got banned from Wimbledon and Bethanie Madness can sport neon green hair and the ladies can wear bright orange tights?? WTF Wimbledon

These got banned from Wimbledon and Bethanie Madness can sport neon green hair and the ladies can wear bright orange tights?? WTF Wimbledon

Other winners included Kei Nishikori (12), Milos Raonic (17), Kevin Anderson (27), Jeremy Chardy (28), Grigor Dimitrov (29) as well as the unseeded Daniel Brands (HOTNESS), James Blake (who knew he was still on tour) and Paul-Henri Mathieu. Nothing of note or excitement happened on Day 2 but who would have predicted that this would be the calm before the storm of Day 3.

The calm before the storm

The calm before the storm

Look who is here at Wimbledon. You know we are heading for trouble

Look who is here at Wimbledon. You know we are heading for trouble

2013 Wimbledon Day 1

In Andrea Petkovic, Andreas Seppi, Andy Murray, Carla Suarez Narravo, Caroline Wozniacki, Fernando Verdasco, Flavia Pennetta, French Open, Grigor Dimitrov, James Blake, Jelena Jankovic, John Isner, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Sara Errani, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Stanislav Wawrinka, Steve Darcis, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 25, 2013 at 4:58 am
Please forgive me

Please forgive me

Welcome my fanz. Let me apologize for not finishing up the French Open coverage by posting pieces on the semis and finals of the tournament. I mean what can I say, I was definitely over the French Open at that stage. The semis were all kinda lacklustre especially since Djoker came up limp against Divadal. He can be such a loser. Serenanator just simply dismantled Errani and surprisingly so did David Ferrer against Tsonga. Shriekapova had a tough time against Vickie but as per the norm, she can handle Vickie on the clay. Anyway, no surprise in the end, Divadal and the Serenanator won the singles titles and quite comfortably too; both in straight sets.

Divadal won his 8th French Open title

Divadal won his 8th French Open title

The Serenantor captured her 2nd French title and 16th major

The Serenantor captured her 2nd French title and 16th major

There might be a lot to say about the French Open in the end but really and truly, I rather not because it will only be the same ole rhetoric especially on the men’s side. Very proud of David Ferrer for getting to a major finals. Particularly impressed that it was the French Open where he made his maiden final. And besides, I am so over the French.

Getting the grass ready

Getting the grass ready

Anyway so Wimbledon 2013 is here and I guess this one will be marked my far more circumstances off the court than on the court. The lineup all remained the same with the usual suspects all in tow. Divadal is seeded 5th. Now everyone and their grandmother has been weighing in on this matter and many felt that the committee should have given Divadal a boost but really does it matter? This is Rafael “Freaking” Nadal we are talking about. He could destroy the field whether he is ranked 100 or 1. And with his 5th place seeding, he will not face any of the top guys till the quarters, in this draw it would be Mr. Federer. So I hardly see what the deal is with this. Furthermore, Divadal skipped like 7 months from the tour and lost last year in the 2nd round. WTF does he expect them to do, tell him to pick his place? Divadal should get to the quarters at the very least and it is not like he is afraid of Mr. Federer. The people talking about this are simply looking for something to talk about.

Enough about this silly talk about Divadal being seeded 5th

Enough about this silly talk about Divadal being seeded 5th

Anyway, on the women’s side, it is Serenanator and Shriekapova’s drama that is heating up the courts. Now much of it is hardly worth mentioning because it is clearly rumour mongers trying to stir up some trouble. The women’s game hardly needs fiction to stir things up but it seems that since the Serenanator has kept her nose clean since 2009/2011 US Open, people are still on her case looking for trouble by trying to tickle the dragon.

Wait we aren't here to talk about my weave??

Wait we aren’t here to talk about my weave?? You’re joking right??

So the rumour is that the Serenanator was allegedly talking to Venus via telephone. In the other room (if I have the story correctly) was a reporter from the Rolling Stones  that was conducting an interview with the Serenanator. The reporter overheard a partial one-sided conversation and reported that the following was said by the Serenanator: “top-five player who is now in love … begins every interview with ‘I’m so happy. I’m so lucky’ — it’s so boring. She’s still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And, hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it.” The reporter then noted that  an “educated guess” would surmised that ReRe is talking about Maria and Grigor. Supposedly, ReRe was going out with Grigor at one point albeit no one has noted when and where exactly this point was. I personally find this impossible to believe but stranger things have happened.

She can take this and run with it

She can take this and run with it

Shriekapova in her press conference retorted with this bit when asked about the matter: “At the end of the day, we have a tremendous amount of respect for what we do on the court. I just think she should be talking about her accomplishments, her achievements, rather than everything else that’s just getting attention and controversy. If she wants to talk about something personal, maybe she should talk about her relationship and her boyfriend that was married and is getting a divorce and has kids. Talk about other things, but not draw attention to other things. She has so much in her life, many positives, and I think that’s what it should be about.”

Now again, there was no mention of Maria’s name in the conversation nor did the reporter ask Serena to clarify who she was talking about. Mainly because she was not talking to him. Nonetheless, he choose to report what is tantamount to be gossip. Anyway, the Serenanator apologized to Maria personally stating that assumptions were made on the matter and that she is sorry that Maria got brought into the situation inadvertently. Now before I go any further, I have to clear up that I am not Maria’s biggest fan but I do respect her tenacity on court. I am particularly keen on how she takes a beating from the Serenanator and come out every single match up as though she could really hurt the American. However, I just want to zero in on some key points of Maria’s speech. AGAIN let me be clear, there is NO evidence that Serena was talking about Maria. ZERO. Nonetheless, Maria chose to air Serena’s business out to the public as though she was spreading the gospel. But I am not even dealing with that one at this point.

Maria you cannot win this fight!

Maria you cannot win this fight!

Maria said, ” At the end of the day, we have a tremendous amount of respect for what we do on the court. Gurl ain’t no one really respect your game on court okay. Let’s be clear on that.  I just think she should be talking about her accomplishments, her achievements, rather than everything else that’s just getting attention and controversy. Now if the Serenanator gets in the press conference and talk about how she be beating your @$$ all year long and not to mention over the past 9 years, you’d get real bad. She should talk about how you got destroyed in Miami; up a set and a break, 3-2 in the 2nd set, you lost 10 straight games. You wanna talk about that?? If she wants to talk about something personal, maybe she should talk about her relationship and her boyfriend that was married and is getting a divorce and has kids. Talk about other things, but not draw attention to other things. How about we talk about the fact that Grigor is more than likely an undercover brother and that he’s straight like spaghetti…when cooked. She has so much in her life, many positives, and I think that’s what it should be about.” She is very positive that she will be beating your @$$ next time she meets you on court. Apparently she was too generous with you at the French. Therefore next time it is business as usual. Buttered bagels and breadsticks. You have short term memory. You forgot 2012 Olympic final: 6-0 6-1. Gurl, get your life!

Vickie almost broke her knee

Vickie almost broke her knee

Anyway, enough of this nonsense. So let’s just get to the real meat of the matter. The Tennis:
Maria (3) won her match against a young up and coming Frenchwoman Mladenovic in straight sets 7-6 6-3. Mladenovic has a lot more to learn on tour though but she has a really good serve. 2nd seed Vickie won her match comfortably but in pain. She nearly “broke her knee” and her future in this tournament might be in jeopardy. She came back after the injury and in tears to take the match 6-1 6-2. It was so funny to watch my Twitter feed as people were losing their minds over how crazy Vickie’s opponent was. She was hitting the ball back to Vickie instead of trying to make her run from side to side. I know Bratzwanska must have been screaming with rage at the sight of Vickie calling out the trainer and then playing “fit as a fiddle” afterwards. Vickie and Bratzwanska use to be best friends but a similar incident happened in early 2012 that sent Aga B to be screaming in the press conference and thus ended a friendship. It certainly did not end her losing streak against Vickie though and I for one am happy for that.

Help! Help! I can't get up

Help! Help! I can’t get up

Anyway, other winners of the day on the ladies side include 12th seed Ana Ivanovic aka Ivanovic the Terrible who won over Razzano 7-6 6-0. Now I have to add her that I saw Ana’s “new look” and she is way too skinny. Ever since winning the 2008 French Open, she has been yo-yoing on her weight like Oprah back in the days. She is floating between anorexic and healthy if you ask me. Right now, she is definitely leaning towards the, “I need a cookie smothered with cream STAT!” Anywho, Kvitova aka GHW (8) struggled past American Coco Vandeweghe. Meanwhile, 5th seed Sara Errani got bounced in the 1st round by Puerto Rican, Monica Puig. Wozniacki aka Danish Biscuit won her match in straight sets but I for one am not holding out hope that she is in good form and will make a decent run here at Wimbledon. Bartoli (15) and her countrywoman Cornet (29) also went through to the 2nd round as did Fivehead JungleWitch Jankovic (16) Lady Gollum Safarova (27), Sorana Cirstea (22), Flipkens (20), and Sloane Stephens (17) who won over fellow American Jaime Hampton. I think Hampton was exhausted after making it to her 1st WTA final last week in Eastbourne. She lost to Vesnina. Other winners of interest are Andrea Petkovic who received a wild card into the tournament, Bojana Jovanovski, American Christina McHale and Flavia Pennetta.

Dulko and hubby at their wedding

Dulko and hubby at their wedding

Oh yeah, if I am not mistaken, Pennetta’s former doubles partner, Gisela Dulko of Argentina recently gave birth to a baby recently. Apparently she retired from the tour and got married to an Argentine footballer. Good for her. And while we are on the subject of pregnancy. Look who is also expecting….

I know! I don't even know where to file this bit of information

I know! I don’t even know where to file this bit of information

Anyway onto the men. There is little to be said that the news of the day was Divadal’s early round exit from the tournament. Divadal a 2 time champion and 5 time finalist got stick by Belgian Steven Darcis (You don’t pronounce the s thus Darsee) 7-6 7-6 6-4. Darcis played really remarkable and he held his own throughout. He was not about to let Divadal get away with murder. He had a one handed backhand which Divadal was treating with this same disdain and contempt that he holds for the Mr. Federer’s unemployed backhand. However, Darcis’ backhand was paying dividend as it was getting traction especially the slice backhand. Divadal could not deal and resorted to defending which was not helping much as he was always on the back foot and unable to create winning opportunities for himself. All in all, this lost should not come as any real surprise. Divadal had to have a let down at some point. He went off tour for 7 months but came back with a vengeance. He made the finals of all 8/9 tournaments he entered and only failing to win twice plus he retained his French Open crown for a record 8th win at a single major. WTF should his fanz be complaining about?

His head gone bad. Didn't know what to do

His head gone bad. Didn’t know what to do

Darcis stuck to the game plan: Get 2nd round prize money

Darcis stuck to the game plan: Get 2nd round prize money

Adios amigo

Adios amigo

The ball children were so excited that Divadal is out. They no longer have to be behind him as he pick his drawers.

The ball children were so excited that Divadal is out. They no longer have to be behind him as he pick his drawers.

Anyway, Divadal was hardly the only men’s seed to fall out, 11th seed Stan Wawrinka lost to Hewitt in straight sets, 14th seed Janko Douchsaravic lost to fellow countryman Troicki, 30th seed Fognini lost to Jurgen Melzer. Divadal’s vanquisher from last year’s Wimbledon, Lukas Rosol lost in the 1st round too. Besides this, most of the usual suspect made it through to the 2nd round.(3) Mr. Federer 6-3 6-2 6-0 over Victor Hanescu, (2)Lochness Monster also in straight sets over Becker,  (10) Cilic is through as are (6) Tsonga, (24) Jerzy Janowicz, (18) BFG Isner, (25) Benoit Paire, (22) Juan Monaco and 32nd seed Tommy Robredo. Other notable winners were Ernest Gulbis and Dustin Brown of Germany/Jamaica.

Mr. Federer in supreme form

Mr. Federer in supreme form

I would really like to know the hair products that Verdasco Tabasco puts into his hair

I would really like to know the hair products that Verdasco Tabasco puts into his hair

Meanwhile, I wish someone put some products in this one's hair

Meanwhile, I wish someone put some products in this one’s hair

As for Dustin Brown's hair....no comment at this time

As for Dustin Brown’s hair….no comment at this time

He definitely needs some products...more than likely Rogaine

He definitely needs some products…more than likely Rogaine

I think Vickie is channeling Grace Jones today

I think Vickie is channeling Grace Jones today

My 5th head says there will be no rain today

My 5th head says there will be no rain today

Ana you are as thin as a sheet of paper

Ana you are as thin as a sheet of paper

I don't even want to see the rest of this picture because I know I would be scarred for life

I don’t even want to see the rest of this picture because I know I would be scarred for life

Dude, Listerine! like seriously, don't be breathing into my face...

Dude, Listerine! like seriously, don’t be breathing into my face…

Divadal, why is your hand by my ass??

Divadal, why is your hand by my ass??

Hopefully you made it all the way down here because I have a lil segment I wanted to interject into this First posting of Wimbledon 2013. So after all this Serena/Maria/Grigor bit, I decided to do a lil research and scour those places and speak to my sources to get you my Realz fanz the realz deal. So here’s the dealio.

Last year Shriekapova was dating some basketball player who left the NBA for Europe during lockout. They were engaged!

Last year Shriekapova was dating some basketball player who left the NBA for Europe during lockout. They were engaged!

Then according to rumour, Shriekapova got dumped or dumped Sascha after he done did knocked up some girl

Then according to rumour, Shriekapova got dumped or dumped Sascha after he done did knocked up some girl

Anywho, at the Olympics it might be, Serenanator and Grigor struck up a friendship

Anywho, at the Olympics it might be, Serenanator and Grigor struck up a friendship

And perhaps things got a lil carried away. I can hardly blame her. She had a lot of time on her hand seeing as she was dismantling the field but something went awry...

And perhaps things got a lil carried away. I can hardly blame her. She had a lot of time on her hand seeing as she was dismantling the field but something went awry…

I think the Serenanator figured something was not on the straight and narrow so she let this one go

I think the Serenanator figured something was not on the straight and narrow so she let this one go

She allegedly went on to greener pastures

She allegedly went on to greener pastures

Oooo kay....

Oooo kay….

And Grigor and Maria found each other

And Grigor and Maria found each other

Love they say... but ladies, never ever let your man and you leave the house and he looks better than you.... NEVER

Love they say… but ladies, never ever let your man and you leave the house and he looks better than you…. NEVER

Can you spot the invisible handbag like I can??

Can you spot the invisible handbag like I can??

Need I say more about the matter of the man being better dressed than the lady

Need I say more about the matter of the man being better dressed than the lady

Hmmm

But then I stumbled upon these pictures…. Hmmm

Hmmmm

Hmmmm

All right... I am not saying a word about this

All right… I am not saying a word about this …. Gurl you need to slow your roll… I don’t get down like that

Don’t forget, it is only rumour if you spread it okay!!!

Dear Fiery Ferrer: This one is for you!

In David Ferrer, French Open, Rafael Nadal on June 9, 2013 at 9:16 am
You and Divadal are not friends today!! Be a Serenanator out there today!

You and Divadal are not friends today!! Be a Serenanator out there today!

Hey Fiery Ferrer!

You know how much we here are RealzTenisFanz appreciate your hotness and how much we appreciate you on a whole. So many congratulations for making your 1st major final and for it to be the French even more praise for you. Anyway, the reason why I am writing this open letter is to offer up some advice for your upcoming battle v Divadal. Many…if not all of us have given you not a single shot in hell to win this match. We hardly give you a shot to win a set. However, miracles do happen everyday and I just might be due for one. Stranger things have happen you know. I mean Eva Majoli has a French Open title and Martini Hingis does not. Thomas Johansson beat Marat Safin at the Australian Open. Hell, Justine had fake diarrhea v Amelie. So, do not discount yourself wholly in this match up. You have a chance. Remember, the game is won and lost on the field; not on paper.

Nonetheless, I am going to give you the same advice I give to Mr. Federer (Amended of course) I will advise that you take it into consideration because lord knows, Mr. Federer did not and he was massacred on court. I am trying to avoid the same fate for you.

f_06-07-nadal-ferrer

Dear Mr. Federer Fiery Ferrer,

You will be facing Divadal, actually Lord Clay Divadal, for the umpteenth time now and lord knows, I am not getting my hopes up at all that you can do the near impossible of beating the Spaniard your countryman on clay. Truth be told, you are not going to do it. This match is sorta of a historic event for me because for the first time, I am not getting excited nor have that fool’s confidence that you can slaughter this clay court giant. I mean you have a tough enough time beating him on other surfaces much more his favourite. Nonetheless, I have some tips for you Mr. Federer as you go into this match. In no particular order

1)      Forget that you took him to 5 sets in 2006 Roma final (you lost that one remember) Forget that you have beaten him twice on clay; Madrid and Hamburg are not real. The truth of the matter you have no prayer in this match. Accept that fact. Just play your best and something good will happen in return.

2)      The MAIN goal is to win at least ONE set! Do not think about winning the match outright at this point. Taking this to a 3 5 setter will be a good thing. Because a beatdown will not go over well with your fanz when having to face these Divadal fanz! They are nasty!!

3)      Serve well and I mean serve like the kids’ your parents’ life depending on it. No loose service games and handing free games to the Spaniard the Divadal.

4)      No losing any set by more than a break. Therefore, do not be munching on bagels, breadsticks or two-piece. No 0-6 1-6 or 2-6 We cannot go out like that; not in front of your parents. Push for tiebreakers because the Divadal is not serving well at all this week.

5)      Try to get your @$$ to the net! YOU CANNOT OUT HIT HIM FROM THE BASELINE. I swear if you will only accept this brilliant truth, you would have a much more favourable record against the man.

6)      And while at the net: No foolishness at the net. You have this annoying habit of always trying to be “cute” at the net and end up looking like an @$$. Nope, cut that shite out today. You get to the net, finish the point with a WINNER! I am going to add something else for you Fiery Ferrer: WHEN AT NET, DO NOT HIT THE FREAKING BALL TO DIVADAL; GO FOR THE OPEN COURT! YOU ALWAYS HIT IT TO HIM, LIKE THE MATCH IS SOME FRIGGING SET UP

Dude stop hitting the ball back to me; I'm only going to pass you for a winner

Dude stop hitting the ball back to me; I’m only going to pass you for a winner

7)      When you get break points, PLEASE CONVERT; that’s the point of getting them. I mean you work so hard to get them in the 1st place and then work even harder to lose them all. Get your life together.

8)      Rome is not the main goal All those other losses do not matter but today in Paris, therefore do not go all out today. Play cool, calm and collected. So no cursing, no screaming and slagging off to the chair ump. Save that shite for when you are playing Djoker and Berdshite.

9)      Your unemployed backhand ie does not work, will be under attack like Republicans after President Obama. Be prepared and do something constructive with that shite. No popping it up there for that nasty Divadal forehand because it will be back in your face in a hurry for a winner.

  1. While we are on this subject, if Paul is not going to fix that shite, I say you fire his ass and find someone who can help you because that thing needs to get off unemployment cheques and GET TO WORK!!

10)   Try to have some fun out there. You’re older and these opportunities are becoming rarer. Enjoy yourself and know that your fanz are all supporting you always though we expect you to be slaughtered today.

11)    My last bit of advice for you Fiery Ferrer is: I do not want to live in a tennis era where Lochness Monster Murray has a major title and you don’t. SO PLEASE CAUSE THE UPSET OF THE CENTURY AND WIN THIS TITLE. REMEMBER ALBERT COSTA WHO BEAT FERRERO IN 2002. ASK SANTA MARIA, SANTA TERESA, SANTA JOSEPH, EVEN SANTA CLAUS, TO GRANT YOU THIS MIRACLE.

No matter what, at the end of the day you are WAY HOTTER

No matter what, at the end of the day you are WAY HOTTER

And you have a full head of healthy hair with a real girlfriend

And you have a full head of healthy hair with a real girlfriend

French Open 2013: The Quarterfinals

In David Ferrer, French Open, Jelena Jankovic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Maria Kirilenko, Maria Sharapova, Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Sara Errani, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Tommy Haas, Tommy Robredo, Victoria Azarenka on June 6, 2013 at 8:33 am

I believe that I am now in a better place to talk about the quarterfinals match-up today.

He got punched in the face! It was a tough day for everyone

He got punched in the face! It was a tough day for everyone

By way of the ladies, it was a combination of 2 dog fights; Serenanator v Kuzi-Rex and Shriekapova v Fivehead JungleWitch and 2 tough 2 setters; Errani v Bratzwanska and Vickie v Krazilenko. I think all around, the women’s quarterfinals saw better tennis than the men’s. Just my opinion. Nonetheless, the ladies’ matches would not get the praise it deserves.

Kuzi-Rex is really trying to come for me

Kuzi-Rex is really trying to come for me

I did not get to see much of the Errani v Bratzwanska match but I am really proud of Errani because this is about the 1st time she has been a top 4/5 player I think and she did so in straight sets. She held her nerves. I think she is becoming a player who is reliable and not about to be beaten by a player unless you have uncommon skills. She is not a power player and not necessarily the most crafty but she has a really nice combination and always willing to be “Ms. 1st Runner-Up” That is, if any of the other ladies get knocks out/injured/disappears/self destructs etc, she is ready and able to snag a major or two. She is out here to defend her points from last year and Aga was not going to stop that from happening 6-4 7-6.

It will be a repeat of the US Open semis 2012

It will be a repeat of the US Open semis 2012

Serena v Sveta was interesting in that in the 1st set, it was all Serenanator 6-1. Kuzi took a break before the 2nd set and then she came out firing. She directed everything to the Serenanator’s forehand and the Russian’s forehand was beating it like a horse. Kuzi is an athlete and she was just all over the place getting in the Serenanator’s face. It was all the American could do to have won 3 games in that 2nd set 6-3 Kuzi. In the 3rd set, the demons the Serenanator was fighting were finally vanquished and she got her life together. After being down 0-2 at the start of the 3rd set, she just snatched the next 5 games. Kuzi served to stay in the match but could not break ReRe to delay her defeat. Serenanator 6-1 3-6 6-3

Who does this itch think she is bageling me? WTF? WTMFF?

Who does this itch think she is bageling me? WTF? WTMFF?

Anyway, the semifinal match up with see Shriekapova v Vickie. Shriekapova lost the 1st set to Fivehead 0-6. It was incredible because Shriekapova does not eat bagel from just about anyone. Anyway, she fought her way back into the match to take the next 2 sets 6-4 6-3. Shriekapova 0-6 6-4 6-3. I have to say that Maria is a very very tough customer. I really do admire her fight more than her tennis ability. She works extremely hard out there and no one is going to beat her unless you come up with your absolute best. So she is in the semis for a 3rd time. This is perhaps her best major yet LOL. Vickie also had a tough time against Krazilenko but was able to close it out 7-5 6-2. In the end, Krazilenko proved to be too inconsistent/unsteady of the two.

Impressive but this isn't gymnastics; this is tennis

Impressive but this isn’t gymnastics; this is tennis

And down she goes

And down she goes

That scream is giving me a monster headache

That scream is giving me a monster headache

Au revoir gurl!! I have a date with another Maria

Au revoir gurl!! I have a date with another Maria

Who will win the semis for the ladies… Hmmm the Serenanator is strongly favoured over Errani but it is definitely a toss up between Shriekapova v Vickie. It is hard to say who has the edge. Although it would be a far more competitive final if it is the Serenanator v Vickie. Any other combination would be a romping shack!.

It was all about Tsonga on that day

It was all about Tsonga on that day

Not even... perhaps you need to pull down the shorts as well to see if anything changes

Not even… perhaps you need to pull down the shorts as well to see if anything changes

This doesn't impress me much as it use to

This doesn’t impress me much as it use to

Not impressed at all

Not impressed at all

As for the men’s quarterfinals, what can I really say. Mr. Federer lost to Tsonga again. I could not believe in and in straight sets at that. As a matter of fact, all of the men’s quarterfinals matches were decided in straight sets and of the 12 sets played, only 1 was a tirebreaker. Very interesting. Anyway, I left Mr. Federer up 4-2 before I was called away at work to talk about a stapler. I kid you not, a bloody stapler. I sat in a meeting with two managers for over an hour for a frigging stapler. No I did not steal one, or throw one or destroy one or even lose one. I simply told someone, they could not have one. Apparently that was not being “supportive” My work place is worthy of a Realz blog. However, I digress. What really got to me was as they were going on about this freaking stapler, my main man, Mr. Federer was being pummeled by Baby Ali. When I came out of this ridiculous meeting, I checked the score to find out that Mr. Federer was already sent home packing. You know I wanted to do something crazy with a stapler right then and there. I could not deal! Anyway, I have to take this lost like every other lost of Mr. Federer. I have to take it in stride and look at the big picture. I am happy for Tsonga; as happy as I could be when his victory means my defeat. He is a hard worker and he deserves to win some big matches. However, it should not always be at my Mr. Federer’s expense. Therefore, they have to put this frigger in another part of the draw. He is really mucking up plans for Mr. Federer. Tsonga 7-5 6-3 6-3

Thanks for coming to my early morning practice Tommy. I really appreciate it

Thanks for coming to my early morning practice Tommy. I really appreciate it

In the other quarters on that day, Fiery Ferrer v Robredo and no surprise there that Robredo did not have a leg to stand on.  Ferrer just dismantled him 6-2 6-1 6-1; a two piece with 2 breadsticks. So it will be Tsonga v Ferrer and the interesting thing is that neither of them really stand a chance of winning the title. It is crazy to think that but it is the near truth of the matter because looming in the final would either be Divadal or Djoker. Divadal just crushed Stan in his quarterfinals match up 6-2 6-3 6-1. I mean what I found ridiculous was that Wawrinka had the audacity to be upset at his struggles in the match. Really Stan the man? I mean you are planning freaking Rafael Nadal who eats Roger Federer for breakfast on clay and toys with the one-handed back hand like it is playdoh and you expected to get a leg up in this match? You should have had smaller goals and maybe, just maybe luck would have gone your way. I had some advice for Mr. Federer couple of weeks ago when he played Divadal in Rome. Mr. Federer did not heed my warnings/suggestions and he paid for it miserably. You would have done well to take my stance. Anyway, I really did not want you upsetting the match up I took off work for. Stan v Djoker is not worth dealing with the devil to get Friday off. However, Divadal v Djoker….now that is something working calling out of work for etc.

I am dejected

I am dejected

You did not have to treat me this badly. I am not Mr. Federer. I could have at least won a set!

You did not have to treat me this badly. I am not Mr. Federer. I could have at least won a set!

Djoker v Haas was not particularly remarkable but it was the most competitive of all the men’s quarterfinals. Haas won more games than the other losers but in the end Haas still lost the match. Djoker 6-3 7-6 7-5.

Diva on the floor! Diva on the floor! Diva on the floor! Now werq! WERQ!!

Diva on the floor! Diva on the floor! Diva on the floor! Now werq! WERQ!!

WOW, I won the most games for losers in the quarters?? Really?? Moi, the oldest man!

WOW, I won the most games for losers in the quarters?? Really?? Moi, the oldest man!

I got a date with destiny and his name is Divadal

I got a date with destiny and his name is Divadal

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for coming.

 

French Open 2013: Day 10

In Agnes Radwanska, David Ferrer, French Open, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Roger Federer, Sara Errani, Serena Williams, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tennis, Tommy Robredo on June 5, 2013 at 11:25 am

Due to circumstances beyond Realz’s control, ie his main man Mr. Federer got dismantled, Realz is unable to provide his usual in-depth/snarky/hateriffic analysis of Day 10’s action. Realz sincerely apologizes for this but you must understand, his main man and him are linked psychically. Realz was just getting over the Rome fiasco and now Paris happened. Hopefully Realz is in a better place tomorrow to offer Day 11 coverage.

The Serenanator served for her life in the 3rd set and was able to prevail against Kuzi-Rex

The Serenanator served for her life in the 3rd set and was able to prevail against Kuzi-Rex

Kuzi-Rex was trying to come for the Serenanator but she for put back in the Ice Age

Kuzi-Rex was trying to come for the Serenanator but she for put back in the Ice Age

Though much hated, Errani was all smiles yesterday as she returns to the French Open semis for the 2nd consecutive year

Though much hated, Errani was all smiles yesterday as she returns to the French Open semis for the 2nd consecutive year

I know, WTF were you thinking colouring your hair blond. Seems like some of the dye seeped into your brain.

I know, WTF were you thinking colouring your hair blond. Seems like some of the dye seeped into your brain.

Fiery Ferrer is into another French Open semis and will face the unlikely opponent in Baby Ali Tsonga

Fiery Ferrer is into another French Open semis and will face the unlikely opponent in Baby Ali Tsonga

Now you know something is definitely wrong when this sight don't even make me happy

Now you know something is definitely wrong when this sight don’t even make me happy

Au revoir Monsieur Federer. Je suis si triste! You will return to claim another French Open title

Au revoir Monsieur Federer. Je suis si triste! You will return to claim another French Open title

French Open 2013: Jour 9

In Francesca Schiavone, French Open, Jaime Hampton, Jelena Jankovic, Kei Nishikori, Maria Kirilenko, Maria Sharapova, Novak Djokovic, Philipp Kohlschreiber, Rafael Nadal, Richard Gasquet, Roger Federer, Slaone Stephens, Stanislav Wawrinka, Tennis, Victoria Azarenka on June 4, 2013 at 7:11 am

This might just have to be a quick update so as to be on schedule for the rest of the tournament. Sometimes I think I will be on time but it always seems that I lag behind no matter what I do. I forget that my body needs sleep and whenever I try to take a cat nap, my body just goes for a full sleep. Anyway, I digress. So for Day 9 of the French Open we have the second set of Round of 16 matches and with its completion, the quarterfinals will be set.

It was a beautiful day

It was a beautiful day

The winners on the ladies’ side of the draw were quick and decisive about their wins for the most part. None of them dropped a set and looked impressive throughout. Vickie took on the dangerous floater and 2010 champ Francesco Schiabone. However, Vickie made short work of the Italian and crushed her 6-3 6-0. Last year at the open, Vickie looked vulnerable and got bounced in the Round of 16 if I am not mistaken. However, this year she is looking impressive and is on track for her 1st French Open semis.

Thanks for coming boy!

Thanks for coming boy!

Easy day at the office today

Easy day at the office today

She will take on Maria Krazilenko who dispatched the American Bethanie Mattek-Sands 7-5 6-4. For a moment, it looked as though the American was going to win the 1st set comfortably but then you know how Mattek-Sands can be and furthermore, Krazilenko has been playing really well at this tournament. She has definitely shown herself to be a serious top 10 contender.

Krazilenko is on it this year at the French Open

Krazilenko is on it this year at the French Open

Shriekapova played another American Slaone Stephens. They met recently in Rome quarterfinals I think where Shriekapova dismantled her in straight sets. Slaone looked to improve from that encounter. However, it was not to be that she would get the batter of the Russian on this day. She won more games but Shriekapova is going through the draw like a buzz saw. She is in fact the 2nd best clay court player this season and Maria rarely lose early at a major to players ranked outside the top 10. Maria 6-4 6-3.

Sometimes when I am beating Slaone Stephens I imagine that I am beating the Serenanator. I know it is not real but it makes me feel better about myself

Sometimes when I am beating Slaone Stephens I imagine that I am beating the Serenanator. I know it is not real but it makes me feel better about myself

Thanks for the practice and by the way, keep running your mouth against the Serenanator. I don't like her either. She's not a nice person, always feeding me bagels and breadsticks

Thanks for the practice and by the way, keep running your mouth against the Serenanator. I don’t like her either. She’s not a nice person, always feeding me bagels and breadsticks when she knows I am on a diet

The Russian will play Jelena “Fivehead JungleWitch” Jankovic in the quarters. Fivehead took out yet another American, Jamie Hampton in dominating fashion as she dropped just 2 games. 6-0 6-2. Jankovic is really finding her stride at this major and one cannot tell the last time she looked this impressive in a while. She got to the final of Charleston earlier this year and now in the quarters of a major. Impressive but something tells me Shriekapova is going to handle this one. Well actually it will be an interesting matchup. Should at least be a 3-setter.

Hampton just got cursed by Fivehead JungleWitch

Hampton just got cursed by Fivehead JungleWitch

Sometimes, pink isn't always pretty. I swear she looks like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh

Sometimes, pink isn’t always pretty. I swear she looks like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh

This is definitely the Chernobyl Disaster

This is definitely the Chernobyl Disaster

On the men’s side, Tommy Haas came out blitzing against the Russian Mikhail Youzhny. He just absolutely crushed the Russian 6-1 6-1 6-3. Mikhail barely knew what hit him before he had to pack up his shite and get off the court. He was very angry, busting up racquets etc. It is a shame, he is a good player but Haas is on a comeback tour and no one is going to spoil that party so easily. Haas will face none other than Djoker Harlequeen himself who he beat last time they meet in Miami or Indian Wells I think.

WTF you looking at me? I can break my racquet whenever I want to because I paid for it and scratch my balls too while I am at it

WTF you looking at me? I can break my racquet whenever I want to because I paid for it and scratch my balls too while I am at it

Ha Ha Haas is in the quarters

Ha Ha Haas is in the quarters

Djoker was facing the last man to knock him out early at a major, Philipp Kohlschreiber. In 2009 Kohlschreiber knocked Djoker out in straight sets. Djoker was none too please about it matter but that did not stop the German from taking 4th consecutive set against the Serb at the French Open. Kohlschreiber started out as the more aggressive player and it paid dividend as he claimed the 1st set 6-4. However, Djoker believes that he is on a destined path to win the French Open and not only a career grand slam but also a true grand slam this year. He was not about to get dismissed by the 16th seed. Djoker found his game and also Kohlschreiber decided that he was “dropshot dragon” on court and he got burnt for it. Djoker was on it and he dismissed the German in 4 sets 4-6 6-3 6-4 6-4.

Kohlschreiber trying really hard to repeat himself but only succeeding with too many crazy drop shots

Kohlschreiber trying really hard to repeat himself but only succeeding with too many crazy drop shots

I'm the Djuggernaut itch!!!

I’m the Djuggernaut itch!!!

Here's the birthday Diva!!

Here’s the birthday Diva!!

Yesterday was Divadal’s birthday, his 27th in fact and although I was hoping that Kei Nishikori would give him some humility as a present, the Japanese was unable to trouble the Spaniard. Divadal won convincingly in straight sets 6-4 6-1 6-3; his most convincing win of the tournament. The organizers gave Divadal a huge cake, which I felt was a bit much considering that Divadal complained about the tournament every chance she got plus, it was just a bit too much for my liking. Anyway, Divadal will be playing Stanislav Wawrinka who dashed the French hopes yet again.

Gasquet v Wawrinka

Gasquet v Wawrinka

Gasquet was up 2 sets to love against Stan and it seemed that he was going to win one for his 1st French Open quarterfinals. Gasquet has a ghastly record in Round of 16 matches and today was no exception. He allowed Wawrinka to sink his teeth into the match and made ridiculous errors. Mind you, there were a lot of pretty moments in this match. Both players have one handed backhands and they can use it with deft dexterity. Mr. Federer would do well to get a copy of this match and practice many of the shots that he would see on display. Anyway, the French crowd did everything they could in their power to push Gasquet through to the quarterfinals but Gasquet just ran out of gas in the end. Wawrinka 6-7 4-6 6-4 7-5 8-6

I don't even know what to say about this pic. Stan is completely dead in the face

I don’t even know what to say about this pic. Stan is completely dead in the face

Tomorrow will see the start of the quarterfinals.

2013+French+Open+Day+Nine+sgl4gpaYd2ml

I cannot believe Vickie is going out with this mess

France Tennis French Open

Party Rock!!!

France Tennis French Open

I gonna have to ask you to take the CAPS LOCK out of your voice and you don’t take your motherfcuking find outta of my face, your ball won’t be the only thing that’s out on this court

France Tennis French Open

Listen fat boy, ain’t no one trying to hear you right now with this shite. Go put on a brosseire because I am not trying to talk to you right now with your boobs hanging out!

HOTNESS

HOTNESS

Ending on a beautiful note and pose

Ending on a beautiful note and pose