Realz

2013 Wimbledon Day 1

In Andrea Petkovic, Andreas Seppi, Andy Murray, Carla Suarez Narravo, Caroline Wozniacki, Fernando Verdasco, Flavia Pennetta, French Open, Grigor Dimitrov, James Blake, Jelena Jankovic, John Isner, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Sara Errani, Serena Williams, Sports Blog, Stanislav Wawrinka, Steve Darcis, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 25, 2013 at 4:58 am
Please forgive me

Please forgive me

Welcome my fanz. Let me apologize for not finishing up the French Open coverage by posting pieces on the semis and finals of the tournament. I mean what can I say, I was definitely over the French Open at that stage. The semis were all kinda lacklustre especially since Djoker came up limp against Divadal. He can be such a loser. Serenanator just simply dismantled Errani and surprisingly so did David Ferrer against Tsonga. Shriekapova had a tough time against Vickie but as per the norm, she can handle Vickie on the clay. Anyway, no surprise in the end, Divadal and the Serenanator won the singles titles and quite comfortably too; both in straight sets.

Divadal won his 8th French Open title

Divadal won his 8th French Open title

The Serenantor captured her 2nd French title and 16th major

The Serenantor captured her 2nd French title and 16th major

There might be a lot to say about the French Open in the end but really and truly, I rather not because it will only be the same ole rhetoric especially on the men’s side. Very proud of David Ferrer for getting to a major finals. Particularly impressed that it was the French Open where he made his maiden final. And besides, I am so over the French.

Getting the grass ready

Getting the grass ready

Anyway so Wimbledon 2013 is here and I guess this one will be marked my far more circumstances off the court than on the court. The lineup all remained the same with the usual suspects all in tow. Divadal is seeded 5th. Now everyone and their grandmother has been weighing in on this matter and many felt that the committee should have given Divadal a boost but really does it matter? This is Rafael “Freaking” Nadal we are talking about. He could destroy the field whether he is ranked 100 or 1. And with his 5th place seeding, he will not face any of the top guys till the quarters, in this draw it would be Mr. Federer. So I hardly see what the deal is with this. Furthermore, Divadal skipped like 7 months from the tour and lost last year in the 2nd round. WTF does he expect them to do, tell him to pick his place? Divadal should get to the quarters at the very least and it is not like he is afraid of Mr. Federer. The people talking about this are simply looking for something to talk about.

Enough about this silly talk about Divadal being seeded 5th

Enough about this silly talk about Divadal being seeded 5th

Anyway, on the women’s side, it is Serenanator and Shriekapova’s drama that is heating up the courts. Now much of it is hardly worth mentioning because it is clearly rumour mongers trying to stir up some trouble. The women’s game hardly needs fiction to stir things up but it seems that since the Serenanator has kept her nose clean since 2009/2011 US Open, people are still on her case looking for trouble by trying to tickle the dragon.

Wait we aren't here to talk about my weave??

Wait we aren’t here to talk about my weave?? You’re joking right??

So the rumour is that the Serenanator was allegedly talking to Venus via telephone. In the other room (if I have the story correctly) was a reporter from the Rolling Stones  that was conducting an interview with the Serenanator. The reporter overheard a partial one-sided conversation and reported that the following was said by the Serenanator: “top-five player who is now in love … begins every interview with ‘I’m so happy. I’m so lucky’ — it’s so boring. She’s still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And, hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it.” The reporter then noted that  an “educated guess” would surmised that ReRe is talking about Maria and Grigor. Supposedly, ReRe was going out with Grigor at one point albeit no one has noted when and where exactly this point was. I personally find this impossible to believe but stranger things have happened.

She can take this and run with it

She can take this and run with it

Shriekapova in her press conference retorted with this bit when asked about the matter: “At the end of the day, we have a tremendous amount of respect for what we do on the court. I just think she should be talking about her accomplishments, her achievements, rather than everything else that’s just getting attention and controversy. If she wants to talk about something personal, maybe she should talk about her relationship and her boyfriend that was married and is getting a divorce and has kids. Talk about other things, but not draw attention to other things. She has so much in her life, many positives, and I think that’s what it should be about.”

Now again, there was no mention of Maria’s name in the conversation nor did the reporter ask Serena to clarify who she was talking about. Mainly because she was not talking to him. Nonetheless, he choose to report what is tantamount to be gossip. Anyway, the Serenanator apologized to Maria personally stating that assumptions were made on the matter and that she is sorry that Maria got brought into the situation inadvertently. Now before I go any further, I have to clear up that I am not Maria’s biggest fan but I do respect her tenacity on court. I am particularly keen on how she takes a beating from the Serenanator and come out every single match up as though she could really hurt the American. However, I just want to zero in on some key points of Maria’s speech. AGAIN let me be clear, there is NO evidence that Serena was talking about Maria. ZERO. Nonetheless, Maria chose to air Serena’s business out to the public as though she was spreading the gospel. But I am not even dealing with that one at this point.

Maria you cannot win this fight!

Maria you cannot win this fight!

Maria said, ” At the end of the day, we have a tremendous amount of respect for what we do on the court. Gurl ain’t no one really respect your game on court okay. Let’s be clear on that.  I just think she should be talking about her accomplishments, her achievements, rather than everything else that’s just getting attention and controversy. Now if the Serenanator gets in the press conference and talk about how she be beating your @$$ all year long and not to mention over the past 9 years, you’d get real bad. She should talk about how you got destroyed in Miami; up a set and a break, 3-2 in the 2nd set, you lost 10 straight games. You wanna talk about that?? If she wants to talk about something personal, maybe she should talk about her relationship and her boyfriend that was married and is getting a divorce and has kids. Talk about other things, but not draw attention to other things. How about we talk about the fact that Grigor is more than likely an undercover brother and that he’s straight like spaghetti…when cooked. She has so much in her life, many positives, and I think that’s what it should be about.” She is very positive that she will be beating your @$$ next time she meets you on court. Apparently she was too generous with you at the French. Therefore next time it is business as usual. Buttered bagels and breadsticks. You have short term memory. You forgot 2012 Olympic final: 6-0 6-1. Gurl, get your life!

Vickie almost broke her knee

Vickie almost broke her knee

Anyway, enough of this nonsense. So let’s just get to the real meat of the matter. The Tennis:
Maria (3) won her match against a young up and coming Frenchwoman Mladenovic in straight sets 7-6 6-3. Mladenovic has a lot more to learn on tour though but she has a really good serve. 2nd seed Vickie won her match comfortably but in pain. She nearly “broke her knee” and her future in this tournament might be in jeopardy. She came back after the injury and in tears to take the match 6-1 6-2. It was so funny to watch my Twitter feed as people were losing their minds over how crazy Vickie’s opponent was. She was hitting the ball back to Vickie instead of trying to make her run from side to side. I know Bratzwanska must have been screaming with rage at the sight of Vickie calling out the trainer and then playing “fit as a fiddle” afterwards. Vickie and Bratzwanska use to be best friends but a similar incident happened in early 2012 that sent Aga B to be screaming in the press conference and thus ended a friendship. It certainly did not end her losing streak against Vickie though and I for one am happy for that.

Help! Help! I can't get up

Help! Help! I can’t get up

Anyway, other winners of the day on the ladies side include 12th seed Ana Ivanovic aka Ivanovic the Terrible who won over Razzano 7-6 6-0. Now I have to add her that I saw Ana’s “new look” and she is way too skinny. Ever since winning the 2008 French Open, she has been yo-yoing on her weight like Oprah back in the days. She is floating between anorexic and healthy if you ask me. Right now, she is definitely leaning towards the, “I need a cookie smothered with cream STAT!” Anywho, Kvitova aka GHW (8) struggled past American Coco Vandeweghe. Meanwhile, 5th seed Sara Errani got bounced in the 1st round by Puerto Rican, Monica Puig. Wozniacki aka Danish Biscuit won her match in straight sets but I for one am not holding out hope that she is in good form and will make a decent run here at Wimbledon. Bartoli (15) and her countrywoman Cornet (29) also went through to the 2nd round as did Fivehead JungleWitch Jankovic (16) Lady Gollum Safarova (27), Sorana Cirstea (22), Flipkens (20), and Sloane Stephens (17) who won over fellow American Jaime Hampton. I think Hampton was exhausted after making it to her 1st WTA final last week in Eastbourne. She lost to Vesnina. Other winners of interest are Andrea Petkovic who received a wild card into the tournament, Bojana Jovanovski, American Christina McHale and Flavia Pennetta.

Dulko and hubby at their wedding

Dulko and hubby at their wedding

Oh yeah, if I am not mistaken, Pennetta’s former doubles partner, Gisela Dulko of Argentina recently gave birth to a baby recently. Apparently she retired from the tour and got married to an Argentine footballer. Good for her. And while we are on the subject of pregnancy. Look who is also expecting….

I know! I don't even know where to file this bit of information

I know! I don’t even know where to file this bit of information

Anyway onto the men. There is little to be said that the news of the day was Divadal’s early round exit from the tournament. Divadal a 2 time champion and 5 time finalist got stick by Belgian Steven Darcis (You don’t pronounce the s thus Darsee) 7-6 7-6 6-4. Darcis played really remarkable and he held his own throughout. He was not about to let Divadal get away with murder. He had a one handed backhand which Divadal was treating with this same disdain and contempt that he holds for the Mr. Federer’s unemployed backhand. However, Darcis’ backhand was paying dividend as it was getting traction especially the slice backhand. Divadal could not deal and resorted to defending which was not helping much as he was always on the back foot and unable to create winning opportunities for himself. All in all, this lost should not come as any real surprise. Divadal had to have a let down at some point. He went off tour for 7 months but came back with a vengeance. He made the finals of all 8/9 tournaments he entered and only failing to win twice plus he retained his French Open crown for a record 8th win at a single major. WTF should his fanz be complaining about?

His head gone bad. Didn't know what to do

His head gone bad. Didn’t know what to do

Darcis stuck to the game plan: Get 2nd round prize money

Darcis stuck to the game plan: Get 2nd round prize money

Adios amigo

Adios amigo

The ball children were so excited that Divadal is out. They no longer have to be behind him as he pick his drawers.

The ball children were so excited that Divadal is out. They no longer have to be behind him as he pick his drawers.

Anyway, Divadal was hardly the only men’s seed to fall out, 11th seed Stan Wawrinka lost to Hewitt in straight sets, 14th seed Janko Douchsaravic lost to fellow countryman Troicki, 30th seed Fognini lost to Jurgen Melzer. Divadal’s vanquisher from last year’s Wimbledon, Lukas Rosol lost in the 1st round too. Besides this, most of the usual suspect made it through to the 2nd round.(3) Mr. Federer 6-3 6-2 6-0 over Victor Hanescu, (2)Lochness Monster also in straight sets over Becker,  (10) Cilic is through as are (6) Tsonga, (24) Jerzy Janowicz, (18) BFG Isner, (25) Benoit Paire, (22) Juan Monaco and 32nd seed Tommy Robredo. Other notable winners were Ernest Gulbis and Dustin Brown of Germany/Jamaica.

Mr. Federer in supreme form

Mr. Federer in supreme form

I would really like to know the hair products that Verdasco Tabasco puts into his hair

I would really like to know the hair products that Verdasco Tabasco puts into his hair

Meanwhile, I wish someone put some products in this one's hair

Meanwhile, I wish someone put some products in this one’s hair

As for Dustin Brown's hair....no comment at this time

As for Dustin Brown’s hair….no comment at this time

He definitely needs some products...more than likely Rogaine

He definitely needs some products…more than likely Rogaine

I think Vickie is channeling Grace Jones today

I think Vickie is channeling Grace Jones today

My 5th head says there will be no rain today

My 5th head says there will be no rain today

Ana you are as thin as a sheet of paper

Ana you are as thin as a sheet of paper

I don't even want to see the rest of this picture because I know I would be scarred for life

I don’t even want to see the rest of this picture because I know I would be scarred for life

Dude, Listerine! like seriously, don't be breathing into my face...

Dude, Listerine! like seriously, don’t be breathing into my face…

Divadal, why is your hand by my ass??

Divadal, why is your hand by my ass??

Hopefully you made it all the way down here because I have a lil segment I wanted to interject into this First posting of Wimbledon 2013. So after all this Serena/Maria/Grigor bit, I decided to do a lil research and scour those places and speak to my sources to get you my Realz fanz the realz deal. So here’s the dealio.

Last year Shriekapova was dating some basketball player who left the NBA for Europe during lockout. They were engaged!

Last year Shriekapova was dating some basketball player who left the NBA for Europe during lockout. They were engaged!

Then according to rumour, Shriekapova got dumped or dumped Sascha after he done did knocked up some girl

Then according to rumour, Shriekapova got dumped or dumped Sascha after he done did knocked up some girl

Anywho, at the Olympics it might be, Serenanator and Grigor struck up a friendship

Anywho, at the Olympics it might be, Serenanator and Grigor struck up a friendship

And perhaps things got a lil carried away. I can hardly blame her. She had a lot of time on her hand seeing as she was dismantling the field but something went awry...

And perhaps things got a lil carried away. I can hardly blame her. She had a lot of time on her hand seeing as she was dismantling the field but something went awry…

I think the Serenanator figured something was not on the straight and narrow so she let this one go

I think the Serenanator figured something was not on the straight and narrow so she let this one go

She allegedly went on to greener pastures

She allegedly went on to greener pastures

Oooo kay....

Oooo kay….

And Grigor and Maria found each other

And Grigor and Maria found each other

Love they say... but ladies, never ever let your man and you leave the house and he looks better than you.... NEVER

Love they say… but ladies, never ever let your man and you leave the house and he looks better than you…. NEVER

Can you spot the invisible handbag like I can??

Can you spot the invisible handbag like I can??

Need I say more about the matter of the man being better dressed than the lady

Need I say more about the matter of the man being better dressed than the lady

Hmmm

But then I stumbled upon these pictures…. Hmmm

Hmmmm

Hmmmm

All right... I am not saying a word about this

All right… I am not saying a word about this …. Gurl you need to slow your roll… I don’t get down like that

Don’t forget, it is only rumour if you spread it okay!!!

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