Realz

Wimbledon 2013: Day 3 Wild, Whacky and Weird Wimbledon

In Andy Murray, Dustin Brown, Jelena Jankovic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Petra Kvitova, Roger Federer, Sports Blog, Steve Darcis, Tennis, Victoria Azarenka, Wimbledon on June 27, 2013 at 6:17 am

I woke up for Day 3 of Wimbledon all excited because mainly Mr. Federer would be playing. Unfortunately, I had to work which annoys the shit out of me. That I am not working professionally in the tennis/writing/journalism field is utter MADNESS!. Nonetheless, I gotta eat and pay rent and hence got to put in my face at a place where I am sure they have grown tired of seeing it altogether. So if any of you fanz know of decent work with pays well, drop me a line.

I am so serious about this!

I am so serious about this!

Anyway, I digress. So Day 3 of Wimbledon started and there has been no signs of rain, which is quite unbelievable at this point. So before I left for work I was watching the Lleyton Hewitt v Dustin Brown match. Now you know Hewitt took out the 11th seed Wawrinka to find himself in the 2nd round. Brown was in the 2nd round of a major which I am almost certain is very very new to him. This was the 1st match up on Court 2 if I am not mistaken. Anyway, I was watching and Brown was winning against Hewitt. Now this was bizarre though I was enjoying it. Hewitt was the last non Federer/Nadal/Djoker winner of Wimbledon back in 2002 and here was being schooled by Dustin Brown who can barely win a tournament on the Challenger level.

Bruce+Forsyth+wife+Royal+box+Day+3+Wimbledon+etuAUpWBg7Al

You do not even know how unusual this sight is

For those of you who do not follow me on Twitter, last year Brown and I got into a bit of a “spat” on the social media forum. Last year Wimbledon, Brown played David Ferrer in the 1st round and lost in STRAIGHT SETS. He never had a set point but if I am not mistaken, “DreddyTennis” took Ferrer to like 5-7 in a couple of the sets. This was seemingly a routine win for Ferrer. However, DreddyTennis (that’s his Twitter handle) took to TimeLine to be carrying on like he almost won the match and could have had a deep run at Wimbledon as Ferrer struggled somewhat through the rounds. Some fools, I suspect his close friends, were all like “You could have gone far in this tournament, look at how Ferrer lost etc” I could check the record but Brown is not really worth fact checking because the truth is, he has done nothing.

Nuff said

Nuff said

Now you know me, I had to keep it Realz and shut this shite down quick. I follow him on Twitter because I have to admit he at times seem an interesting fellow being all half Jamaican/half German and all. So I quietly told Mr. Dreddy Tennis to pump his brakes because he did not win the match or even a set, so he needed to stop with the hyperbolic bullshit on the airwaves. Dreddy Tennis also has this very annoying habit of retweeting any and all comments posted on his TimeLine. Now I admit, I could easily “unfollow” him but I did not and he responded to me. Well you know that just made things more interesting. He imagined me to be some common heckler and did not know my stats or my tennis. He retorted with the basic point of “Well you cannot do better/You’re a hater” some garbage line like that. Really Dreddy? I think we can do better than that. I explained to the Dead Hair and Bones creature that he barely won a match on the tour level, I think he had won one match of the 5 tour level tournaments he got in for the year and we are talking about June 2012. Brown cannot even win a Challenger Level trophy and often unable to qualify for the main draw through the qualifying rounds and he is out there trying to act like he could had a run at Wimbledon. Gurl get your life! Clearly those shit locks are indicative of the crap that is in your head. You know I threw her stats back in her face and informed her that I am in fact a hater but I hate judiciously. I am a fan of his but I am not a fan of his “braggidious bullshit” and he was no “motherfcuking Paszek” who was tearing up the ladies draw at the time. That put a break on his garbage and he came back with some silly lines but he knew I had won that Twitter war.

He has a tongue ring hmmmm

He has a tongue ring hmmmm

Hmmmmm all righty then

Hmmmmm all righty then

Anyhow, here we are in 2013 and he won a match at the major (perhaps his 1st) and he was serving and volleying like Rod Laver out on court. Him getting to the 2nd round was his 1st win of the year on the tour level. He is 7-5 at the challenger level this year. There was a lot of stylish play and Hewitt seemed unable to handle any of Brown’s awesomeness on court. What made matters even worst for Hewitt I am sure was that Brown was “brown” and Hewitt being that ever so lovely cuddly Aussie love everybody was not having a good time. Hewitt had a rather ugly incident in 2002 at the US Open with James Blake/chair umpire and lines judge. Hewitt blatantly accused the linesman of making calls in favour of Blake because they were both black. Oh yeah, he said it and he said it loudly while on court during play. James Blake was unable to win the match to shit the fcuker up but I never forgot that incident as it was just another reason why I am an honorary member of the Hewitt’s Haters Club.

Goodbye mate

Goodbye mate

Anyway, Brown was giving me my revenge today. I have to say that Brown’s plays were par excellence. He could barely do wrong at the net and he was showing great game sense throughout. He won the 1st 2 sets 6-4 6-4 but then played a limped dick 3rd set tiebreaker to drop it 6-7. I left for work at this time but got out of the subway to see that he crushed the Aussie 6-2 in the 4th set. Now, the fact that Brown was so badly beating Hewitt should have registered as an anomaly in my mind but I ignored the signs. I mean Hewitt has been battling injuries for years now and has been struggling to keep his rankings decent these days and Brown is younger and far quicker. However, still Hewitt should have legitimately won this match.

Look at this skinny madness

Look at this skinny madness

Then I checked the scores and say that Ivanovic the Terrible (12) took the court and got dismantled 2-6 2-6. I knew she was way too skinny. Did I mention that Vickie (2) withdrew from the tournament at this time before the start of her 2nd round match? Yes, Vickie was out and so did Tsonga (6) who when I left home was beating Gulbis but subsequently dropped the 2nd and 3rd sets and then retired from the match. Oh yeah, Marin Cilic (10) retired from his match as did John Isner aka BFG (18). Steve Darcis who slayed the giant that is Divadal in the 1st round, withdrew from the tournament before the start of his 2nd round match and then Radek Stepanek retired while playing Jerzy Janowicz (24). Petra Kvitova moved through to the 3rd round as Shvedova withdrew. Then it was a virtual shite show, Danish Biscuit up and got crumbled in straight sets to Petra Cetkovska. I was not really surprised but I mean Danish Biscuit is the 9th seed and you would think that by June, she would have figured her game out by now. She has done much of substance for the year and still in the top 10. That I do not get.

Some of Day 3 results

Some of Day 3 results

Anyway, she was hardly the upset of the day. Maria Shriekapova who was all talk last couple of days, trying to come for the Serenantor. However, she got her @$$ handed to her by some qualifier, Maria De Brito Larcher of Portugal. Now the thing is that Shriekapova does not lose to mignons. She hardly gets bounced early in tournament and here she was getting mowed over on the grass by some no-namer. Funny, I picked the qualifier over Maria because for some reason I knew Maria was not focused. She was far too focused on playing media wars against the Serenanator. But you see, the Serenanator is so generous, she decided to share the Maria Massacres around and let someone else have a go. 6-3 6-4 was the scoreline at the end of the day and Shriekapova will only be shrieking from the sidelines for her “boo” Grigor.

OMG I think I broke it

OMG I think I broke it

Yes I think I really broke it

Yes I think I really broke it

Don't worry. It's just dislocated. I'm putting it back in place so that you can take your beatdown

Don’t worry. It’s just dislocated. I’m putting it back in place so that you can take your beatdown

So what had happened is that it felt like I felt a snap, then a heard a crackle and then it just popped out of place.

So what had happened is that it felt like I felt a snap, then a heard a crackle and then it just popped out of place.

I mean it was utter madness all over but yet I ignored all of this and felt confident that my man Mr. Federer was going to win against this Sergiy Stakhovsky of Ukraine. I mean after all this was the 2nd round and who the hell was this Stakhovsky?

Mr. Federer has entered the arena

Mr. Federer has entered the arena

But you know there is a very famous saying at Realz that we always say, “The game is won and lost on the field NOT on paper” And Mr. Federer lost. I could not believe this. What was even worse was that I was at work dealing with people’s nonsensical bullshit and not at home cheering on my man. I was madder than a hatter. I was breathing fire and ready to blaze whoever crossed my path. 7-6 6-7 5-7 6-7 was how my Mr. Federer went out in the 2nd round which ended the streak of 36 consecutive major quarterfinals or better. I was crushed and most certainly devastated. This was his earliest exit from a major since 2003 if I am not mistaken.

Sergiy S

Sergiy Stakhovsky

And Mr. Federer is quietly leaving the arena

And Mr. Federer is quietly leaving the arena

In the press conference, Mr. Federer was in good spirits. He did not cry. He mentioned that this streak was much the talk of the press and they made the mistake of already writing Divadal and him into the quarterfinals, which he noted was a bit disrespectful of the other guys on tour. He said he is far from retiring. I am being greedy in always wanting Mr. Federer to win tournaments. The fact of the matter is that Mr. Federer has done A LOT and he need not do anything else to prove that he is the greatest of all time. His records and contribution to the game both on and off the court are astounding and I need not have him win his 8th Wimbledon crown to feel better about the matter. I am not going complain if he wins but I am not going to beat up myself about his loss. I thank you Mr. Federer for everything! Furthermore, we got to the 2nd round and won a set in our defeat. That is far more than Divadal can say for this year. Thank God for small miracles.

How do I feel?

How do I feel?

Of course I feel sad. I love Wimbledon and I do not even know who the fcuk this Stakhovsky guy is and I lost to him. No Bueno...muy muy mal today

Of course I feel sad. I love Wimbledon and I do not even know who the fcuk this Stakhovsky guy is and I lost to him. No Bueno…muy muy mal today

Any upside to this lost besides more time with the family

Any upside to this lost besides more time with the family

I won a match here at Wimbledon and a set in my loss... a lot more than Divadal can say for his efforts

I won a match here at Wimbledon and a set in my loss… a lot more than Divadal can say for his efforts

Anyway, it was not all topsy turvy on the day. Tabasco Verdasco caused an upset of sorts when he knocked out Julian Benneteau (31) in straight sets. Lochness Monster Murray (2) avoided the upset bug and moved through to the 3rd round comfortably in straight sets. Nicolas Almagro (15) will join his countryman Tommy Robredo (32) in the 3rd round. Other winners include Mikhail Youzhny (20), Juan Monaco (22) Benoit Paire (25), Jurgen Melzer. On the ladies’ side, Bartoli (15) Sloane Stephens (17), Carla Suarez-Navarro (19) and Alize Cornet (29) are all through to the 3rd round. Stephens took out Andrea Petkovic 8-6 in the 3rd set. Petkovic is trying to find her way back into form on tour but has had a string of bad luck injuries. Monica Puig of Puerto Rico continues her good By way of upsets, Bojana Jovanovski, Jelena Fivehead Jungle Witch Jankovic (16) and Sorana Cirstea (22) were all bounced from the tournament. I would only miss Bojana.

None of her fivehead could help her out on court today

None of her fivehead could help her out on court today

Lady Gollum cannot find precious out on court

Lady Gollum cannot find precious out on court

I see Carla is giving me a touch more femininity this time around...

I see Carla is giving me a touch more femininity this time around…

Ah... scratch that... it's El Nino as usual

Ah… scratch that… it’s El Nino as usual

WTF Sloane? WTMFF is this getup?

WTF Sloane? WTMFF is this getup?

Jazzercise!! Yeah m'am

Jazzercise!! Yeah m’am

What do you mean there's no injury time out for broken vagina??

What do you mean there’s no injury time out for broken vagina??

We're just chilling out here today

We’re just chilling out here today

Here these ladies are showing us how to get off while on court very discreetly and with simple tools at hand; the water bottle and the racquet

Here these ladies are showing us how to get off while on court very discreetly and with simple tools at hand; the water bottle and the racquet

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