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US Open 2013: Day 4

In Ana Ivanovic, Angelique Kerber, Bernard Tomic, Carla Suarez Narravo, Christina McHale, Daniel Evans, Feliciano Lopez, Flavia Pennetta, Gael Monfils, James Blake, Janko Tipsarevic, John Isner, Kaia Kanepi, Maria Kirilenko, Milos Raonic, Petra Kvitova, Rafael Nadal, Richard Gasquet, Roger Federer, Sabine Lisicki, Sara Errani, Serena Williams, Tennis, US Open, Venus Williams, Victoria Azarenka, Victoria Duval, Yaroslava Shevedova on August 30, 2013 at 8:58 am
Michelle Obama at the Open last Saturday... on fashion point as ALWAYS

Michelle Obama at the Open last Saturday… on fashion point as ALWAYS

So Day 4 at the US Open was a successful one. Despite it looking like the heavens were going to burst open, no rain fell to affect any scheduled play. As far as singles’ action go, I believe that all matches were played and completed. Also unlike the last major, Wimbledon, there have been very few retirements. I guess players are scrambling for the last stop to make big bucks, big points and also celebrity status. The US Open has as of late, perhaps because it is held in New York City, take on the feel of something akin the Grammys etc. Where tons of celebrities are floating around, lots of sponsors too and that unmistakable feel of entertainment energy,

 

Katie Couric, WTF is this hot mess pants. Are you kidding me? Did you ask some preschooler to design this bit for you?

This is Katie Couric, celebrity. See the problem here isn’t so much that she is wearing these pants as it is that she’s wearing these pants and wearing them in full confidence that they are the best thing ever. Boo, here’s a news flash…THEY’RE NOT!!! Stop having your children design your clothing

Before I move onto the real deal tennis, I just want to say WELCOME to any new FANZ who may be reading this blog. I hope you peruse at your leisure. Do understand that this blog does focus mainly on tennis but yet we cover so much more. It is structure (at least it is my intent) to capture tennis fans and non-tennis fans alike to reach that common goal of being a REALZ TENIS FANZ, which quite frankly is the best thing out there. DO NOT be intimidated if you are not a tennis fan because if you scroll through, you will be sure to find something that interests you in some form. There is also a Facebook Page, which I think would be more “user-friendly” as the blog might be a bit too “in-depth” for the non tennis fanz. There are tons of photos on it for your enjoyment. ALSO for the Realz fanz out there, PLEASE COMMENT and spread the word about this blog!!! You know how I am always begging for attention.

Divadal looking in his usual form

Divadal looking in his usual form

Anywho, on the men’s side, there were no upsets of note though Douchsarevic got through to the 3rd round much to my chagrin. Yeah I know, I said it. American Jock Sock who seems to go into hiding all year long only to come out for the US Open is also through to the 3rd round. I mean seriously, has this guy even won two matches on tour this year much more two in the same tournament? However, he will be getting a nice chunk of change for his effort though it could have been more. James Blake and Sock lost in the 1st round of doubles. I mean James, you could not even muster up some courage and had yourself a nice run here. WOW, sometimes, I think you suck badly out of spite. However, we are not here to discuss James Blake, he is gone. Au revoir.

Mr. Federer and Divadal Nadal moved through quite comfortably to the 3rd round. Divadal was showing all his gonads on court and Mr. Federer was looking impressively clean. They are on both side of the draw and scheduled to meet in the quarters if neither loses before then. Mr. Federer has not beaten Divadal in a major since 2007 if I am not mistaken and in the kind of form he is showing as of late, I doubt if 2013 will change that statistic. Needless to say, I am very unhappy about this prospect. Nonetheless, you know I love me some Mr. Federer and I will be waving his flag on his bandwagon until the very end and thereafter.

Daniel Evans through to the 3rd round... yeahhhh

Daniel Evans through to the 3rd round… yeahhhh

Other usual suspects came through including Canadian Milos Raonic, Frenchman Richard Gasquet, Spaniards Tommy Robredo, resident hotties FeFe Lopez and Fiery Ferrer. I have also give a HUGE SHOUT OUT to my new boo Daniel Evans for disposing for the trash in the form of Bernard Tomic aka Tampomic. Evans who scored an upset in the 1st round when he ousted the 11th seed Kei Nishikori, is showing himself as a non-one hit wonder in beating Tampomic. Evans is playing his 5th consecutive match as he came through 3 rounds of qualifying to get to the main draw. Anyway, Evans is set to play Tommy Robredo in the 3rd and possibly Mr. Federer in the Round of 16 if both win their next scheduled match. So you know what that means Evanie boo….You have my complete support until you face Mr. Federer, at which point, I will be cheering for your utter destruction on court. Sorry boo but Mr. Federer was there way before you came. However, you can come anytime you like for me 🙂

Arghhhhhhhhhhh Beetlejuice in full effect

Arghhhhhhhhhhh Beetlejuice in full effect

Anyway, the last match up of the day was BFG (John Isner) vs Beetlejuice (Gael Monfils). Now, I have never really been a fan of Monfils. I am sure he is great person off the court and if you love to party, he is definitely the guy to hang with. Though you should never be totally inebriated with him because he is the kinda guy that will cause the police to show up and though he is even more shit faced than you, he will still be able to talk the cops out of arresting him and there you are being carted off to jail and he is laughing his ass off. He also looks like a crazy prankster. Anyway we are so digressing right now. So I was saying that I have never been a huge fan of Monfils. However, last year, he earned my respect at the Aussie Open. Monfils showed a level of maturity I thought was way beyond him. I even complimented him on his 1st round match and commented on how mature he was in delving out a swift death to his opponent. But it seems as though no good deeds goes unpunished.

Fcuking crowd cheering on this French tool

Fcuking crowd cheering on this French tool

Monfils’ behaviour in his match up against Isner was utterly RIDONCULOUS. What was even worst was that the American crowd was cheering on Monfils over their player. (There is a lot I want to say about this but I do not think this is the time to focus on such matters) Monfils was throwing himself all over the place as though the match was being placed on the beach. And that his classic clownfcukery was in full display. Yes it can be entertaining but when it comes to major play, Monfils needs to be more focus. He has shown himself to be quite capable of possibly contending for majors. However, his potential is being stifled by his immaturity on court. It was a virtual shitshow last night. He practically gifted the first 2 sets to Isner and then later on tried to show some of his real tennis. However, Isner was playing such a complete match. He was firing on all cylinders and took out Monfils in 4 sets. Thank you Isner, I could not stand to see such nonsense for too long. Hopefully Isner finds his stride again here at the Open and could… I so hope and pray….knock out Divadal in their possible 4th round encounter. Actually I do not care who takes out Divadal, just take him out of here.

In America, we say goodbye. So get outta here

In America, we say goodbye. So get outta here

Anyway, check out the men’s score line below.

Sela D. (Isr) 4 4 1
Tipsarevic   J. (Srb) 6 6 6
Rufin G. (Fra) Ret. 6 1
Tursunov D. (Rus) 7 1
Gasquet R. (Fra) 6 7 7
Robert   S. (Fra) 3 5 5
Bautista-Agut R. (Esp) 3 7 1 2
Ferrer D. (Esp) 6 6 6 6  
Gonzalez M. (Arg) 6 6 5 2
Sock J. (Usa) 7 1 7 6  
Haider-Maurer A. (Aut) 4 4 5
Kukushkin M. (Kaz) 6 6 7
Tomic B. (Aus) 6 3 6 3
Evans D. (Gbr) 1 6 7 6  
Federer R. (Sui) 6 6 6
Berlocq C. (Arg) 3 2 1
Mannarino A. (Fra) 7 7 6 6  
Querrey S. (Usa) 6 6 7 4
Dodig I. (Cro) 6 6 6
Davydenko N. (Rus) 1 4 4
Roger-Vasselin E. (Fra) 3 2 7 2
Kohlschreiber P. (Ger) 6 6 5 6  
Robredo T. (Esp) 6 6 6  
Dancevic F. (Can) 4 4 1
Lopez F. (Esp) 6 7 4 7  
Klahn B. (Usa) 4 6 6 5
Andujar-Alba P. (Esp) 1 2 4
Raonic M. (Can) 6 6 6  
Silva D. R. (Bra) 2 1 0
Nadal R. (Esp) 6 6 6  
Isner J. (Usa) 7 6 4 7  
Monfils G. (Fra) 5 2 6 6
I'm just gonna take a lil nap and give this girl a slight chance to beat me

I’m just gonna take a lil nap and give this girl a slight chance to beat me

On the women’s side of the draw, things have been virtually quiet. But then again, 4th seed Sara Errani was howling on court in her defeat at the hands of her countrywoman Flavia Pennetta. Pennetta just dismantled Errani 6-3 6-1 I am not sure if I mentioned this earlier but Errani and her doubles partnership with Roberta Vinci might be in jeopardy as the two are fighting. Errani in her lost was crying that she did not want to be on court etc etc etc. Whatever Errani, you have it too good perhaps. I mean you have been able to make it to several major semis plus get to the finals of the French Open….something which considering your talent is actually beyond you. Yet you are complaining and trying to mess up the most successful thing you got. I am not interested in your tears. Save that drama for your mama but for the court.

It was not a good day for the Italian yesterday at all. She also will drop in rankings as she cannot defend her semifinal points from last year

It was not a good day for the Italian yesterday at all. She also will drop in rankings as she cannot defend her semifinal points from last year

Anyway, Carebear Kerber took out Bouchard of Canada who I think might be a talent to watch in the near future. She is pretty good and as you can see, she is not afraid of top players as she fought Serenanator in Montreal and now gave Kerber a big fight. American Christina McHale also won her match against Elena Svitolina but her countrywoman Victoria Duval who caused quite a buzz at the open when she knocked out Sam Stosur, succumbed to the pressure and was beaten by Daniela Huntuchova 6-2 6-3. In both sets, Duval was up a break but could not sustain her lead. It is also good to see that Daniela can win two matches back to back. She never fully realized her potential I think.

Duval was split in two yesterday by a seemingly in form Huntuchova

Duval was split in two yesterday by a seemingly in form Huntuchova

The Serenanator overcame a slow start to bagel her opponent in the 2nd set 6-3 6-0 meanwhile other notables such as Ana Ivanovic as well as her countrywoman Jelena Jankovic (Fivehead Jungle Witch), Kuznetsova, Kaia Kanepi, Petra Kvitova (surprise! surprise!), Sabine Lisicki, Roberta Vinci and Yaroslava Shvedova also came through in their matches. Shvedova faces the Serenanator in the next round. Should be an interesting match up. Maria Kirilenko took out the Portuguese player Maria Larcher de Brito 6-3 6-1. This is the same de Brito who took out the other Russian Maria, Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon. However, Kirilenko aka Krazilenko was sticking around for a possible upset. She just rolled out that final set breadstick like it was rushhour at Olive Garden. In other news, the Williams sisters are back playing doubles at this major. Yeah give Venus something to do. They won their 1st round match (6-7 6-0 6-3) against a Spanish duo which included Carla Suarez-Navarro who would have been Venus’s next opponent had she beaten Jie Zheng like she was suppose to have done. However, I am kinda glad that Venus lost now because I do not think she could have beaten Carla by herself and I could not deal with another Venus lost at the hands of his Lady Hobbit after the 2009 Australian Open 2nd round lost. I swear I had to lay Venus to rest in order to deal. She nearly killed me with that lost. Anyway, all the ladies’ score, after the jump.

Good Lord, the dress comes in different colours too..

Good Lord, the dress comes in different colours too..

Bouchard E. (Can) 4 6 3
Kerber A.   (Ger) 6 2 6
McHale C. (Usa) 6 3 7
Svitolina E. (Ukr) 4 6 5
Kanepi K. (Est) 6 6
Schmiedlová A. K. (Svk) 4 1
Kuznetsova S. (Rus) 6 4 6
Peng S. (Chn) 1 6 4
Makarova E. (Rus) 6 6
Mattek-Sands B. (Usa) 4 4
Nara K. (Jpn) 7 6
Cirstea S. (Rou) 5 1
Ormaechea P. (Arg) 2 3
Lisicki S. (Ger) 6 6
Safarova L. (Cze) 6 1 2
Vinci R. (Ita) 4 6 6
Shvedova Y. (Kaz) 6 6  
Mayr-Achleitner P. (Aut) 2 3
Jankovic J. (Srb) 6 6  
Kleybanova A. (Rus) 3 2
Pennetta F. (Ita) 6 6
Errani S. (Ita) 3 1
Cornet A. (Fra) 6 6  
Tomljanovic A. (Cro) 2 2
Vesnina E. (Rus) 1 4
Knapp K. (Ita) 6 6  
Williams S. (Usa) 6 6  
Voskoboeva G. (Kaz) 3 0
Ivanovic A. (Srb) 6 6  
Dulgheru A. (Rou) 2 1
Vekic D. (Cro) 2 1
Halep S. (Rou) 6 6  
Kvitova P. (Cze) 6 6  
Jovanovski B. (Srb) 2 4
Riske A. (Usa) 6 6  
Barthel M. (Ger) 4 2
Glushko J. (Isr) 7 6
Vickery S. (Usa) 5 3
Kirilenko M. (Rus) 6 6  
Larcher de Brito M. (Por) 3 1
Wozniak A. (Can) 3 1
Azarenka V. (Blr) 6 6  
Giorgi C. (Ita) 6 7  
Hsieh S-W. (Tpe) 4 6
Wozniacki C. (Den) 6 6
Scheepers C. (Rsa) 1 2
Hantuchova D. (Svk) 6 6  
Duval V. (Usa) 2 3
Look who showed up to watch "her man" at the Open... It's Xisca

Look who showed up to watch “her man” at the Open… It’s Xisca

And look who is happy to see her?

And look who is happy to see her?

Look the camera...

Look the camera…

Everyone fake laugh....

Everyone fake laugh….

Kuznetsova, what the hell is this tragedy? I thought we were making progressing in the fashion department

Kuznetsova, what the hell is this tragedy? I thought we were making progressing in the fashion department

Vickie why are you still wearing this ridiculous outfit?

Vickie why are you still wearing this ridiculous outfit?

Can someone explain to me this madness?

Can someone explain to me this madness?

Kvitova, you are determined to cart around this muffin top no matter what right?

Kvitova, you are determined to cart around this muffin top no matter what right?

 

Ana why even though you're flat chested, your boobs look lopsided?

Ana why even though you’re flat chested, your boobs look lopsided?

Helloooooo? Is anything in there??? It sounds so hallow..

Helloooooo? Is anything in there??? It sounds so hallow..

 

I wonder if my booty is bigger than the Serenanator's?

I wonder if my booty is bigger than the Serenanator’s?

Excuse you? You really wanna know?

Excuse you? You really wanna know?

 

HELLZ NOOOO

HELLZ NOOOO

I am

I am

A stinker...

A stinker…

a douche... a tampomic

a douche… a tampomic

and a tool

and a tool

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US Open 2013: Day 3

In Andy Murray, Carla Suarez Narravo, Daniel Brands, David Goffin, James Blake, Jie Zheng, Juan Martin Del Potro, Marcos Baghdatis, Slaone Stephens, Tennis, Urszula Radwanska, Venus Williams, Victoria Azarenka on August 29, 2013 at 8:08 am
The rains ruled the day on Day 3 of the US Open 2013

The rains ruled the day on Day 3 of the US Open 2013

So it's raining... what to do? Get a drink

So it’s raining… what to do? Get a drink

 

Oh what a day! My head is still reeling from yesterday’s events. I am not even sure how to deal fully. Venus Ebony Starr Williams, you have done it yet again. You have inexplicably pulled me into your matches and have my emotions run high. Every single time I promise myself that I would get wrapped up into your matches because I know how much I get worked up afterwards. Yet I still go all in. You know, truth be told, Venus, you are not the crackhead, it is I. I am an addict and I am addicted to you and the pain/torture of watching your matches. Needless to say fanz that Venus lost yesterday to the likes of Jie Zheng 3-6 6-2 6-7 (7). I do not care what people want to say about how Jie Zheng got to two major semifinals (Australian Open 2009 and Wimbledon 2010 if I am not mistaken) The thing is that Zheng barely makes a squeak on the WTA tour and then all of sudden she is always trying to muck up the Serenanator and Venus Williams’ plans. I think what made yesterday’s loss even more difficult was the fact that Venus kept trying to stay alive  but in the end gave away the match with two careless errors. It was bad…real bad.

 

Oh Venus... you slay me every time

Oh Venus… you slay me every time

 

Anyone who has followed this blog knows how much drama Venus Williams has caused Realz. On this blog forum, she has been buried, resurrected, renamed, I think shunned and at some point redeemed. It is tough being a Venus Williams fan. Very very tough. She never makes anything easy. I understand about the disease and everything, however, for her fans, what we see out on court is really a lack of effort. Maybe things might be hurting but we do not care. We want Venus to do well and to do doing well, very well. Honestly, I cannot be too mad at Venus. Actually, as I am writing this now, I am already over her lost. This is sports. Venus is a wounded animal and all her opponents know this. They already feel that they have a 65% shot of winning the match anyway and with Venus’s ability to hit errors/double faults/wayward shots in quick and repeated succession, their winning chances increase to almost 80%.

With that 6 heads of yours, you couldn't come up with a way to win that match? SMH

With that 6 heads of yours, you couldn’t come up with a way to win that match? SMH

However, when I get into these dark places (and I mean dark dark places in my mind. You do not know how I was going in on Venus last night in my head. I was ripping her new one; the hair, the nails, the clothes. I didn’t hold back) with Venus Williams, I go back to time when I was calmer and more rational. I remember when in 2010, she lost to Kim in the semis and my ensuing reaction to write the following. This was a year before it was announced that she had Sjogren’s Syndrome. I think much of what is being said below here still applies. And since 2010, Venus has done a lot to be proud of.

A pixie took out a giant

A pixie took out a giant

In Act 4, Scene 1 of the opera Aida by Giuseppe Verdi, Amneris, the Egyptian princess, is at world’s end. She has just lost her best friend Aida whose whereabouts are unknown and the man that she loves, Radames, former head of the Egyptian guards, awaits death for committing treason. Radames adamantly rejects Amneris’s offer for clemency as he refuses to renounce his love for Aida and marry Amneris. As Radames walks away in the clutches of priests to his pending execution, Amneris realized that all is lost and sinks to the ground…..She laments “Ohimè! Morir mi sento” (Oh how I feel like dying)  By Saturday evening, I almost sank to the floor of my apartment and felt very much the same way as Amneris. My pain was so great; my thoughts reverted to Italian opera verse. Roger Federer and Venus Williams, my picks to win the single titles, did not make it out of the semifinals. They both went the distance but came up short.

Venus Ebony Starr Williams has done me in once more. Yes, I have referred to her by her given name. I know not what else to do. After winning the first set 6-4, Venus was down in the second set 3-5. Mommie Dearest served for the set but was broken by the ever-resilient Venus. For those who are familiar with the Williams sisters, they know that they are made of Teflon and are the type of fighters you want on your side during a battle. They seemingly never gave up. There was joy in my heart. Venus leveled the set at 5-5 and held serve again whilst Mommie Dearest did so as well. They moved to a tiebreaker. My heart caught a fire for I know Venus is often fabulous in tiebreakers. She would never let this opportunity to close out the match in straight sets be wasted. I almost fell off the treadmill, as Venus did not win a single point on her serve. How could this be? The woman with the fastest serves on tour, double faults as if it were the object of the game.

She lost the second set. I figured that she would make it back. There was no way she would give up this opportunity easily but alas, I was wrong, as I have been all year long about Venus Williams. She lost the third set 4-6 after getting broken early in the set, breaking back to even things at 4-4 games and getting broken again. It was not so much so that she lost the match that nearly killed me but it is the fact that Venus failed to show any of the tools she had employed in her winning the previous 11 sets of tennis she played. Her serve was on, the forehand was on, she was coming to net, her second serve was not vulnerable and her deadly backhand was as solid as ever. Her killer instinct was on full displayed as she was not being rattled by the crowd or an inexplicable loose service game. Yet in the last two sets against Kim on Friday, she simply went away.  

Where is the resilience and strength of the Venus of old who saved 11 match points against Jennifer Capriati? Where is she? It was heart breaking to see Mommie Dearest be on her way for a third US Open title at the expense of Venus. EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE HAS WON THIS TITLE, VENUS HAS HAD KIM ON THE ROPES ONLY TO RELINQUISH HER HOLD. It is simply devastating to continue to watch. I tried to be brave in the end and watch the match but I almost had my chest cracked open as the 110 barbell nearly slipped out of my hand as I was bench pressing. I do not know what else to say about Venus.

This lost caused sheer panic and hysteria for Venus Williams Fans. One fan, Mr. Brown, a faithful subscriber to this publication went onto Venus Williams’ facebook page and lambasted her. He stated that she should retire, go play doubles and get a sports psychiatrist to deal with her mental crackish ways. However, I have had much time and trauma to think about the enigma that is Venus Williams and I have to say that I am now at peace with the situation. The problem is that fans of Venus Williams live vicariously through her more so than they do other tennis players. See, backing Venus Williams is not some trivial gesture or some effort to always be on the winning side but it is a wholehearted commitment. Venus Williams represents the awkwardness and triumphs of all her fans.

Here you have a 6’1” skinny black girl from the “projects” making it big. Now, this Cinderella story is hardly one that I decry but understand that the attraction to Venus Williams is not a mere love for rags to riches. See Venus is that awkward stage all of us experienced throughout school…always being teased for standing out because of physical attributes…always being told you do not measure up to the accepted standard….never fitting in…never being allowed to fit in or be included. Yet, she rose above all of that to become top tennis player, triple Olympic gold medalist, 7 time major champion, entrepreneur, fashionista, activist, and philanthropist. Venus Williams makes the case for dancing to a different beat even though others think you look stupid. And where are the boys and girls who were hating on her in the past…who knows and who cares, unless they are the one serving at the local DMV. Fans adore the manner in which Venus carries herself across the court….there is a certain strut, poise, elegance, command of attention as if to say, “I am here now…deal with it.”

For her fanz, Venus Williams is not the ultimate rags to riches story but the ultimate ugly duckling turning to the beautiful swan. (Now don’t get all technical on me saying that an ugly duckling cannot grow up to be a swan as they are two different species. I bet many of you never thought of that) This comparison can easily be applicable to Serena but somehow, one can never see Serena as ever being shy. No it is Venus who appears more vulnerable, requiring more care and thus elicits more sympathy and admiration from her fanz. In the story of the Ugly Duckling, the narrator never tells us what happens after this wonderful transfiguration (a duckling to swan is no mere transformation, it has to be a transfiguration and Professor McGonagal is in on it [Harry Potter reference])but we are left to assume that everything is happily ever after.

However, we know too well that in real life that no such thing exists. The fans of Venus Williams are experiencing the life after the transfiguration. They have come to expect sheer brilliance from the Swan each and every time she takes to the “pond.” They would accept nothing short of this for her triumphs are their triumphs and conversely, her failures are their failures. What is more devastating for her fans is the fact that Venus is apparently very complacent with her “poor performances” For the fans this is the ultimate slap in the face for they feel almost personally insulted. People lose matches everyday and it not possible for her to win every time she plays, but her fans expect nothing but victory. Never has Venus lost a match and her fans accept it as a mere lost. For them her losses are epic, disastrous and should not have happened in the first place.

Leontyne Price, the great and glorious American opera singer, once commented about her fans. She said (I am paraphrasing here) that the voice is such a unique thing, individualized to us all. It is such a wonderful thing as well that it causes certain emotions and reactions unique to each person and as such, people may claim “ownership” of sorts to another voice. So strong is this sense of ownership that people are personally affronted if “the voice” that they hold in high regard does anything which is not to their liking. It is this same sense of proprietorship that Venus Williams fanz has and it is what has driven us to sheer madness and emotional lows.

However, in retrospect, there is much to be proud about with Venus. She has been on the tour since 1994/1995 and still at the top of her game. She made it to the US Open semifinals and was very much in the thick of things without any match play since early July at Wimbledon. She has kept  her nose clean…there are no scandalous photos or tapes of Ms. Williams around…she has not been involved in any sort of drugs and despite all the injuries she has suffered, she is soldiers on for the sport of tennis. Yet we are disappointed when she does not win. She made it to the Round of 16 or better in every tournament she played this year….as a matter of fact, other than the French Open where she lost in the Round of 16, she has made the quarterfinals or better and she did it all being an old gal at 29/30. Serena, Kim, Maria, Justine, Carolina cannot make this boast. So perhaps we should not be so harsh on Venus anymore. Perhaps we need to make her life not our perspiration but our inspiration. We should not act as if it is us who is out on court working each point (I assure you watching her matches, I feel every single stroke, points won and/or lost) but use it to fuel us towards our own pursuit of excellence.

I know people talk about the fact that she has not won a major outside of Wimbledon since 2001…but Nadal has 9 majors, five of which are from the French….NO ONE GETS IN HIS FACE about that. As for Kim, all the potential she has, she has only won at the US Open and she has choked at so many majors, they are too numerous to count. Therefore, we here at RTFN would like to resurrect Venus Williams…bring her back from the dead…reinstate her true name and wish her continued success on the tour as long as she wishes to play. (I know it is mighty big of me but I tell you, I have ran out of hateration for her so I might as well show some love.)

 

Anyway, we shall move on to other news. The rain seriously affected play and this is why I think the US Open should really adopt the French Open policy of play on the 1st Sunday. This way, all 1st round matches would be wrapped up by the end of Tuesday’s play. Now today is the 4th day and ladies’ 2nd round matches yet to be completed and Men’s matches have not started. Andy Murray was slated on Ashe to play is 1st round match on Wednesday night. WTF?? Anywho, I guess we might as well deal with the other ladies matches. Of course because of the rain, most of the matches were not completed. Aga Radwanska made easy work of her opponent as did LiNaLi. The results were as followed:

Slaone Stephens was just sticking... as in breadsticking it to Urszula Radwanska... she could barely see straight

Slaone Stephens was just sticking… as in breadsticking it to Urszula Radwanska… she could barely see straight

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (32) def. Ashleigh Barty 6-4, 6-0;
Li Na (5) def. Sofia Arvidsson 6-1, 6-1;
Carla Suarez Navarro (18) def. CoCo Vandeweghe 6-3, 6-4;
Agnieszka Radwanska (3) def. Maria-Teresa Torro-Flor 6-0, 7-5;
Laura Robson (30) def. Caroline Garcia 6-4, 7-6 (5);
Zheng Jie def. Venus Williams 6-3, 2-6, 7-6 (5).
Sloane Stephens (15) def. Urszula Radwanska 6-1 6-1

LiNaLi is looking quite confident at these championships

LiNaLi is looking quite confident at these championships

On the men’s side, I think all of the 1st round matches were completed. There were no real surprises were for that matter expect I guess from two Americans. That Rajeev Ram (who I think is perhaps one of the most unprettiest man on tour….I am not being a real hater here) beat Fabio Fognini, the 16th seed, in straight sets and in such a convincing manner was totally unexpected. It was a breadstick and two two-piece meals. The other American was James Blake. Now James Blake is set to retire after this US Open. To be honest, I have not always been a great fan of his. I met him once and thought he was kinda cocky and rather cold. That is okay. However, the thing was that his on court antics were very much brattish at times. I know he has been plagued with injuries but for the most part, he, I felt, was very lazy. He became that typical American male player with that sense of unjustified entitlement. He had a lot to learn if he wanted to really succeed and he learnt very little. Also he grew up in a tennis era when the likes of Mr. Federer, Divadal, Djoker and Lochness Monster are/were at their peak.  So he is not the only player who has not had major success. Anyway, James was up 2 sets on Ivo Karlovic and then lost the match. WTF? WTMFF?? In the final two sets, they played tiebreakers and James only won 4 points altogether. Come on James!!

Goodbye James, I am not sure if you would be missed.

Goodbye James, I am not sure if you would be missed. Meanwhile, Mary-Jo what the hell are you wearing?

Meanwhile, 3rd seed Lochness Monster knocked out Michael Llodra 6-2 6-4 6-3 and begins his title defense. In other results:

Marcos Baghdatis def. Go Soeda 6-4, 6-3, 6-1;
Alexandr Dolgopolov def. David Goffin 6-2, 6-4, 6-4;
Kevin Anderson (17) def. Daniel Brands 7-5, 4-6, 6-2, 6-3;
Mikhail Youzhny (21) def. Nicolas Mahut 6-4, 6-4, 7-6 (4);
Somdev Devvarman def. Lukas Lacko 4-6, 6-1, 6-2, 4-6, 6-4;
Tim Smyczek def. James Duckworth 3-6, 6-2, 6-4, 6-1;
Andreas Seppi (20) def. Xavier Malisse 6-3, 3-6, 7-5, 7-5;
Peter Gojowczyk def. Igor Sijsling 7-6 (7), 2-6, 6-4, 6-1;
Juan Martin del Potro (6) def. Guillermo Garcia-Lopez 6-3, 6-7 (5), 6-4, 7-6 (7);
Lleyton Hewitt def. Brian Baker 6-3, 4-6, 6-3, 6-4;
Stanislas Wawrinka (9) def. Radek Stepanek 7-6 (2), 6-3, 6-2;
Evgeny Donskoy def. Jurgen Melzer (29) 7-5, 6-3, 7-6 (3);
Leonardo Mayer def. Victor Hanescu 7-6 (4), 6-4, 3-6, 7-6 (4);
Marcel Granollers def. Jurgen Zopp 6-1, 3-6, 1-6, 6-3, 6-4;
Rajeev Ram def. Fabio Fognini (16) 6-1, 6-2, 6-2.

Juan Martin Del Potro is my dark horse to win this if Mr. Federer cannot

Juan Martin Del Potro is my dark horse to win this if Mr. Federer cannot

Look who is back and lurking around in these parts... Marcos Fatdatis

Look who is back and lurking around in these parts… Marcos Fatdatis

As I look out the window right now, the sky is overcasted with those grey smoggy looking clouds so I am not sure how much play might get on its way today. Anyway, I hope you all have enjoyed this entry. Do not forget to COMMENT PLEASE (Good, bad and ugly. Just not offensive/racist/illogical) and SPREAD the word.

Utter nonsense!

Utter nonsense!

I do not understand why the USTA do not invest in tarp to cover the courts when it rains. I mean this is ridiculous. It will cut down the drying time significantly

I do not understand why the USTA do not invest in tarp to cover the courts when it rains. I mean this is ridiculous. It will cut down the drying time significantly and get play on its way quicker

Oh lookie, it's Lochness Monster. The tennis bag looks cool. (I am trying to accentuate his positives)

Oh lookie, it’s Lochness Monster. The tennis bag looks cool. (I am trying to accentuate his positives)

What did you say Judy? I said stop hogging the camera you gold digging trifling tart.

What did you say Judy? I said stop hogging the camera you gold digging trifling tart.

I think Dani' Lochness Monster's hitting partner is kinda cute and he can definitely get it BUT it won't work out because I do not like his employer

I think Dani’ Lochness Monster’s hitting partner is kinda cute and he can definitely get it BUT it won’t work out because I do not like his employer

Can we just look at this one more time? I mean I swear this skirt is a one of Red Foo's boxers that she removed the crotch.

Can we just look at this one more time? I mean I swear this skirt is a one of Red Foo’s boxers that she removed the crotch.

Yes, go up further...the cramp is definitely further up.... yeahhhhhh that feels real nice.

Yes, go up further…the cramp is definitely further up…. yeahhhhhh that feels real nice.

 

US Open 2013: Day 2

In Ana Ivanovic, Andrea Petkovic, Caroline Wozniacki, Daniel Evans, Dominika Cibulkova, Donald Young, Flavia Pennetta, Gael Monfils, Grigor Dimitrov, Jerzy Janowicz, John Isner, Juan Monaco, Milos Raonic, Nadia Petrova, Nicolas Almagro, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Roberta Vinci, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Sara Errani, Tennis, Tomas Berdych, Tommy Haas, US Open, Victoria Azarenka, Victoria Duval on August 28, 2013 at 8:09 am
Things are well on their way at the Open. Day 2 was favourable weather

Things are well on their way at the Open. Day 2 was favourable weather

This entry is going to be a very very quick one. I am trying to stay on top of everything out here and really trying to discipline myself to be more focus because I lose a lot of time. So on Day 2 nothing of consequence happened per se. The USTA and the weather allowed all scheduled singles matches to be played including all incomplete matches from Day 1. I am not sure about the doubles event but then again, I hardly check on that end of the tournament. Some interesting results on the men’s side: Americans Jock Sock and Donald Young are through to the 2nd round. Young decimated his opponent, dropping just 2 games in the entire match and Sock was holding his own against an ailing Petzschner and got through when the German finally retired down 2-5 in the 3rd set.

Hold the applause please! I have a lot of catching up to do at this year's open

Hold the applause please! I have a lot of catching up to do at this year’s open

By the way, while I have your attention, let me just say this. Mr. Federer is ranked 7 in the world. Yes 7 as in the number after 6 and before 8. Whenever I hear the number 7 and Mr. Federer in the same sentence, I think they are talking about 17 major titles, or 7 Wimbledon titles or even winning 7 matches at a major to win the title but never 7 and his ATP ranking. You know my heart almost failed. However, Mr. Federer has had a miserable year thus far. I think he may have won 1 title and his 2nd round loss at Wimbledon after being the defending champion coupled with his dismal performance in Europe thereafter to find his confidence. What he found at Gstaad and Hamburg were beatdowns at the hands of players he ordinarily eat up for a snack. He lost to Divadal in 3 sets in Cincinnati. So if there is ever a time Mr. Federer needs a miracle, it is here in NYC at the Open and you know I would be right here praying along with him.

Will it be the Djoker or Djuggernaut who shows up at this year's US Open?

Will it be the Djoker or Djuggernaut who shows up at this year’s US Open?

Lurch

Lurch

Beetlejuice is BACK!!!

Beetlejuice is BACK!!!

The usual suspects on the men’s side came and conquered. Mr. Federer of course, Djoker who was looking as polished as ever, Milos Raonic of Canada even Sam Querry  and John Isner got things going their way. Other winners include Tomas Berdych aka Lurch and Tommy “Head and Shoulders” Haas. Gael Monfils aka Beetlejuice is looking fit as fiddle as he breezed through his match 6-1 6-2 6-0. Hopefully he is fully back on the tour; no injuries and no foolish heroics on the court.

Nicolas Almagro yet another wayward on tour since the dawning of Divadal

Nicolas Almagro yet another wayward on tour since the dawning of Divadal

Undoubtedly there were those who saw it fit to slow the party. Jerzy Janowicz, the 14th seed, who I had high hopes for at these championships was ailing with his back and was dismissed in 3 sets. 28th seed Juan Monaco and 15th seed Nicolas Almagro were also bounced early from these games. Monaco may have been hurt but as for Almagro, this result is simply indicative of the sucky level of play he has been producing for a while now. I do not know what his deal is but he needs to get his life together.

I almost forgot that Mr. Sugapova, Grigor Dimitrov lost in 4 sets to a Portuguese hottie Joao Sousa in 5 sets.

I don't know if it is too much sugar in his diet but Mr. Sugapova needs to his life together. He also needs to burn his shirt because it is giving me a seizure right now

I don’t know if it is too much sugar in his diet but Mr. Sugapova needs to his life together. He also needs to burn his shirt because it is giving me a seizure right now

See Men’s Day 2 results below.

T. Kamke

64

6

79

6

S. Johnson

77

4

67

2

N. Djokovic

6

6

6

R. Berankis

1

2

2

J. Vesely

2

2

78

5

D. Kudla

6

6

66

7

T. Berdych

6

6

6

P. Lorenzi

1

4

1

J. Monaco

4

2

0

F. Mayer

6

6

3

B. Becker

6

3

6

6

L. Rosol

3

6

3

4

D. Young

6

6

6

M. Klizan

1

0

1

N. Almagro

3

1

6

3

D. Istomin

6

6

4

6

T. Haas

6

6

6

P. Mathieu

4

4

1

J. Sock

77

3

5

P. Petzschner

62

6

2

Y. Lu

6

77

6

D. Gimeno-Traver

4

65

3

R. Federer

6

6

7

G. Zemlja

3

2

5

S. Giraldo

3

6

78

4

2

C. Berlocq

6

3

66

6

6

S. Querrey

77

4

6

6

G. Pella

63

6

1

2

R. Dutra Silva

4

3

711

6

712

V. Pospisil

6

6

69

2

610

J. Isner

6

6

6

F. Volandri

0

2

3

On the ladies side, things were also relatively quiet. Of course Petra Kvitova was dropping a set to some no name but she found herself and won in 3 sets. Petra has played 60 matches for the year and literally half of them have been 3 setters. It seems as it is all very true that she and Radek Stepanek are now an item. Petra I am telling you gurl, do not be a stupid itch….Leave that penis alone. It is addling your brains and clearly affecting your game. Soon he will have you barefoot and pregnant.

Oh Petra! Petra! Petra! Gurl get your life together

Oh Petra! Petra! Petra! Gurl get your life together

Vickie just killed her match as she double bagelled her opponent as did Sara Errani. Rumour has it that Errani and her doubles partner Roberta Vinci have a falling out. Leave it to women to always spoil a good partnership over some stupid bullshit. Anyway, there were some interesting match ups on Day 2 including Christina McHale v Julia Georges. The American won in straight sets 6-4 6-3. I think it is time we call off the search party who is looking for Julia to find her way on tour. We can officially call this one a non-factor at this point. Georges simply does not have what it takes to make a big name for herself. She is coming off as mediocre to the nth degree; scarcely worth mentioning these days.

Vickie I do not know who told you this lil number was a good idea but I'm gonna have to correct that let you know, this skirt is an EPIC FAIL. Go back to the pom pom shorts

Vickie I do not know who told you this lil number was a good idea but I’m gonna have to correct that let you know, this skirt is an EPIC FAIL. Go back to the pom pom shorts

Anywho, another interesting match was Bojana Jovanovski v Andrea Petkovic. They both share similar ethnic background who different nationalities. Petkovic is trying to find her game again but she will have to look for it elsewhere because it is not going to be found here at this year’s US Open. Bojana was all over her 6-2 6-4 in this match and Andrea just made far too many unforced errors.

Roberta, we spoke about making these faces outside in public. This is not okay! Look what you did to Daniela

Roberta, we spoke about making these faces outside in public. This is not okay! Look what you did to Daniela

OMG, I'm a gonna throw up

OMG, I’m a gonna throw up

Some other winners of the day included Roberta Vinci, her countrywoman Flavia Pennetta, Daniela Hantucova, Ana Ivanovic who looked surprising not terrible in her 1st round match and also Moaning Mona Barthel. There were several upsets including that of the 20th, 17th and the 11th seed; Nadia Petrova, Dominika Cibulkova and Sam Stosur respectively. Nadia we are not really surprised that she lost and in straight sets too, which perhaps might be the only unexpected bit. However, she has been well off the plot for a long long time. Cibulkova, she can be either very hot or very cold. She knows no mid range and obviously she was very cold at this late summer slam. Sam Stosur on the other hand. Well, I do not even know what to say about her. She has great success here at the Open. She beat the Serenanator in 2011 and convincingly too but these days she is off in the outbacks of her mind. However, this summer, I thought she was getting her life together. She beat Vickie in California and for sure, I said, watch out for Sam at the Open. But you know how Sam is. She does everything to defy all expectations of her.

Victoria Duval in action against Sam Stosur

Victoria Duval in action against Sam Stosur

She played the young and upcoming American Victoria Duval who got her @$$ handed to her by Kim Clijsters in her last win at the Open in 2012. However, this year, Duval made sure she was not going to serve as a prop for Sam’s performance. She found Sam on every single point throughout the match and it paid dividends for her. She showed her “immaturity” at many stages of the match but in the end, she showed a level of steely nerves that I hope will carry her through to bigger and better things. She won 5-7 6-4 6-4. The last couple of games in the match were particularly tough but she held on. I can only hope that the US media does not kill this girl with hype.

This will undoubtedly be one of the memorable moments of this year's championships. Victoria Duval. Now can we all agree to protect her from the crazy US media hype?

This will undoubtedly be one of the memorable moments of this year’s championships. Victoria Duval. Now can we all agree to protect her from the crazy US media hype?

Anyway here are most of the ladies results.

2

V. Azarenka

6

6

 
D. Pfizenmaier

0

0

 
 

21

S. Halep

4

6

6

 
H. Watson

6

4

2

 
 

27

S. Kuznetsova

6

7

 
M. Burdette

3

5

 
 
S. Peng

6

6

 
Y. Meusburger

3

4

 
 
T. Pironkova

3

3

 
A. Riske

6

6

 
 
A. Wozniak

7

77

 
V. Dolonc

5

65

 
 
D. Vekic

77

4

6

 
M. Duque-Marino

65

6

2

 
 

28

M. Barthel

6

6

 
J. Larsson

1

4

 
 

11

S. Stosur

7

4

4

 
V. Duval

5

6

6

 
 

4

S. Errani

6

6

 
O. Rogowska

0

0

 
 

20

N. Petrova

3

4

 
J. Glushko

6

6

 
 
M. Sanchez

5

2

 
D. Hantuchova

7

6

 
 
C. Scheepers

2

6

6

 
C. Simmonds

6

2

1

 
 

17

D. Cibulkova

4

3

 
E. Svitolina

6

6

 
 
M. Lucic-Baroni

4

4

 
S. Vickery

6

6

 
 

26

A. Cornet

6

6

 
M. Koehler

3

2

 

This is how you look when you on court and stuffing your face with a double bagel. (Vickie's 1st round opponent)

This is how you look when you on court and stuffing your face with a double bagel. (Vickie’s 1st round opponent)

See this is how Ivanovic The Terrible and I are always at odds with each other. She should be concentrating on her on court game instead of holding court with these men who have absolutely no interest in tennis and are just thinking about how they can pitch a "group play" session with all 4 of them to her

See this is how Ivanovic The Terrible and I are always at odds with each other. She should be concentrating on her on court game instead of holding court with these men who have absolutely no interest in tennis and are just thinking about how they can pitch a “group play” session with all 4 of them to her

Can we just for a moment talk about this piece? WTF? is that a panty outline/silhouette on this thing? I mean seriously?

Can we just for a moment talk about this piece? WTF? is that a panty outline/silhouette on this thing? I mean seriously?

Rory has to shield his eyes from this filth

Rory has to shield his eyes from this filth

Maybe this is sleep deprivation at work here but I swear, Monfils is looking more put together....less Beetlejuicish here

Maybe this is sleep deprivation at work here but I swear, Monfils is looking more put together….less Beetlejuicish here

Oh yes... Daniel Evans is shirtless... yessssssss

Oh yes… Daniel Evans is shirtless… yessssssss

You know he's thinking about me right here

You know he’s thinking about me right here

See we have a problem here. This bushy tail rat got tickets to the US Open and I don't. WTF??

See we have a problem here. This bushy tail rat got tickets to the US Open and I don’t. WTF??

US Open 2013: Day 1

In Agnes Radwanska, Feliciano Lopez, Francesca Schiavone, Janko Tipsarevic, Jelena Jankovic, Kei Nishikori, Li Na, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Na Li, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Slaone Stephens, Tennis, Tommy Robredo, US Open, Venus Williams, Victoria Azarenka on August 28, 2013 at 6:28 am
US Open 2013 Arthur Ashe Stadium

US Open 2013 Arthur Ashe Stadium

So the US Open 2013 has started and of course, RealzTenisFanz is behind the times. I am not even going to offer up any sort of excuses as to why this blog is not more regularly updated. The truth is that I am not really committed to the cause. As time consuming as this is, if I really want it to go somewhere, I really have to put in the effort and work at it. I should have been working on this ages ago and have it down to a science. There is no doubt that I love tennis and even more so love discussing its issues. However, writing about tennis, even salacious commentary, is very time consuming. I am thinking perhaps I should just have a daily live show. However, you would be able to see my face and that would make me an easy target for these players and we cannot have now, can we? Perhaps I can do puppetry or something like that. All in due time.

Maria Shriekapova Sugapova Sharapova

Maria Shriekapova Sugapova Sharapova

So the US Open begun and I guess the biggest news was that Shriekapova was not going to be at this year’s Open. She pulled out citing the ever reliable excuse “shoulder injury.” She has had a most horrible year if one were looking at this year in terms of mental strength. She got torn apart in the Aussie Open semis by LiNaLi then won Indian Wells I think. However, she got dismantled by the Serenanator in Miami and the hits kept on coming. She has yet to beat the Serenanator since 2004 or even come close to beating her and that Miami final was crushing. She lost 10 straight games after being up 6-4 and serving for a 4-2 lead. She made her way back to the French Open final and was merely at the mercy of the Serenanator. At Wimbledon, she showed herself to be a gossip monger and all that backfired when she lost in the 2nd round to some virtual no name Portuguese player.

So I don't know what's going on in my life but I think my problems are close at hand

So what had happened was that I was up in the match and then I woke up eating a bagel in the 3rd set. I completely blacked out. So no I do not remember the Miami incident

The summer thereafter was not so kind. Talk of her being “mentally unstable” ensued in the tennis blogosphere (I for one do not question her sanity. I just question her life choices) and she parted with her coach. She picked up a new one, Jimmy Connors….yeah that Jimmy Connors. Now I heard one BBC commentator put it something like this, “I didn’t think Jimmy knew anything about the women’s game other than perhaps dating Chrissie [Chris Evert].” This partnership did not last longer than “Ms. Janey’s fire” (My mother always say this. I don’t know who Ms. Janey is but apparently, her fires never stay lit.) Maria and Jimmy parted ways after she lost in 3 sets to Sloane Stephens in the 2nd round of Cincinnati. Yep, she won one match this summer. Poor Maria! And on top of all this, she wanted to change her name to Sugapova for the Open. Maria, in the words of the Sassy Gay Friend, “Look at your life! Look at your choices!”

2013 Wimbledon Champ Marian Bartoli

2013 Wimbledon Champ Marian Bartoli

Anyway, Shriekapova is not here (the ESPN tea is beside themselves because who are they going to talk about) and then before all this, Marian Bartoli 28 years old, 2013 Wimbledon champion claimed to have retired from tennis after being bounced early in Montreal I think it was. She said that her body hurt. I mean, I am not trying to be mean here but are we really surprised by this announcement? Look at Bartoli’s body coupled with those insane training regiments that Walter had her doing; I am surprised that she has not had far more serious injuries. However, not the take is that she might not have actually retired because she has not asked the WTA/ITF (International Tennis Federation) to remove her from the rankings. I think she is trying to avoid the pressure one gets having won their maiden major a la Petra Kvitova, Francesca Schiavone, Ana Ivanovic, LiNaLi and others. Anyway, we are not really checking for Marian and whether she is present or not, it does not change the price of eggs because the major will play on.

This is Bartoli at her athletic peak.

This is Bartoli at her athletic peak.

I am not going to take a pick and say who will because things can be very topsy-turvy in the women’s game. I mean, Marian Bartoli won Wimbledon convincingly. Nonetheless, all of the other players are here, Venus and Serena, Vickie Azarenka, Aga Radwanska, Sam Stosur, Petra Kvitova (in body, big as it is, though we question if her spirit is still around) and the other lot of ladies trying to win this million dollar plus purse.

The Serenanator is all dressed for business out here

The Serenanator is all dressed for business out here

The Serenanator is again looking in fine form. Since 2011, she has been coming into the Open in tip top shape and she has an amazing record for the year, 50 and 4 losses. Since working with Patrick M (I cannot spell his last name and I am too lazy to copy and paste it right now), She has had 99 wins and 5 losses in just over a year. Now forgive me for sounding rather crude here but if the rumours are true and they are in fact a couple, Serena gurl, give this man whatever he wants in the bedroom…front and back. The price of your “P” off court is small compared to the payout you have been getting on court.  And I have to say that the Serenanator’s game has really matured. She has better court coverage, MORE patient, better groundstrokes including that forehand wing and just overall a more effective game. Patrick M has yet to teach her how to do a drop shot but that is okay, we cannot have it all.

The Serenanator is ready for these championships

The Serenanator is ready for these championships

Coming off a disappointing Wimbledon, she lost once and to Vickie. This is her 2nd lost to the Belarusian on hardcourt this season and the last one came after she dominated the 1st set and also served for the match in the 3rd. It was a repeat of the 2012 US Open final but only this time, Vickie came out on top. However, this takes the pressure off the American and hopefully “Laquanda” does not show up. Interestingly enough, the Serenanator has not really found her stride with her serving this summer. It is very alarming because she is still dominating but she will need it for this championship. The hardcourts of New York can be very brutal and cheap points are needed.

My perennial fav Venus Ebony Starr Williams

My perennial fav Venus Ebony Starr Williams giving you grandmother upholstery realness

So enough with all this silly talk: What went on yesterday? Well you know my perennial favourite, Venus Williams was in action against the 12th seed Kirsten Flipkens, 2012 Wimbledon semi-finalist. Flipkens beat Venus several weeks ago in Montreal in what basically ruined my birthday. However, yesterday, there was no mucking about from the American over the Belgian. 6-1 6-2. She was on her like white on rice. Aga Radwanska also had a similar scoreline against her opponent. The Serenanator was beyond clinical yesterday, she was surgical. She was really going after Schiavone, 2010 French Open champ, in an attempt at a double bagel. In the first point of the match, the American just flicked her racquet and that ball was arrivederci. She is not mucking about here because Schiavone can be a very tricky player especially when given an inch and she has the stamina of a racehorse. However, yesterday, she was decimated on the court. She had to solicit a hug from one of the ballpeople. Fanz, it was a brutal beatdown for the Italian, one she is unlikely to forget.

Say a lil prayer me! I need love love...

Say a lil prayer me! I need love love…

Thanks Frankie for the nice evening warm up. Gurl you know I had to finish you off quickly because this hair cannot get wet

Thanks Frankie for the nice evening warm up. Gurl you know I had to finish you off quickly because this hair cannot get wet

Sloane Stephens came through a tough 3 setter with a final set tiebreak. She has already put it out there that she does not have much faith in her doing well at the open. 8th seed Angelique Kerber won as did 9th seed Jankovic. Check out the ladies results below to see whether your favourites are through to the next round. The US Open is having 3 days of 1st round matches with a couple of 2nd round match ups being played on Wednesday. Do not ask me the logic for this madness. I do not know why they just do not play on the 1st Sunday.

 

 

E.   Makarova

6

   6
P.   Hercog

2

4

8

A.   Kerber

6

 

6

L.   Hradecka

1

1

M.   Johansson

3

1

B.   Mattek-Sands

6

 

6

1

S.   Williams

6

 

6

F.   Schiavone

0

1

K.   Pliskova

6

4

5

E.   Bouchard

4

 

6

7

G.   Voskoboeva

6

 

6

M.   Niculescu

4

3

9

J.   Jankovic

6

 

6

M. Keys

3

4

E.   Cabeza Candela

1

4

A.   Barty

6

 

6

K. Nara

6

 

6

A.   Cadantu

2

2

P.   Ormaechea

6

 

79

K.   Date-Krumm

3

67

M. Puig

4

 

6

5

A.   Kleybanova

6

3

7

 

 

 

K.   Mladenovic

6

1

6

A.   Medina Garrigues

1

 

6

1

15

S.   Stephens

4

 

6

77

M.   Minella

6

3

65

I. Begu

1

3

U.   Radwanska

6

 

6

K.   Bertens

1

3

J.   Zheng

6

 

6

32

A. Pavlyuchenkova

7

 

6

V.   Razzano

5

0

You are gone Nishikori and yeah you have been forgotten. Ain't nobody was checking for you

You are gone Nishikori and yeah you have been forgotten. Ain’t nobody was checking for you

On the men’s side, things were also pretty routine with the only upset of Kei Nishikori, the 11th seed, to British Dan Evans. But truth of the matter, we were not even checking on Nishikori though a 1st round exit was totally unexpected. I guess we can also call the 27th seed, Fernando Verdasco’s loss to Ivan Dodig another upset. However, considering how he has been playing for the past couple of years, we are gonna withhold the use of that word. It goes without saying that Divadal has been unstoppable at the hardcourt tournaments this year. He has risen back up to No 2 and the knee is still going strong. Other than that inexplicable 1st round exit at Wimbledon, he has made it to all of his tournament finals and only lost two of them. He has 9 titles already this year including a historic 8th French Open title. As always, he comes back from “injury” and just goes on a tear. No one is questioning these remarkable “comebacks” It is all being put down to great genetics etc. Divadal has not had any kinda surgery for this “tender knee” yet he goes back on court and does the same exact thing that allegedly got him and his knee in trouble. It is not my implication that the Spaniard is on drugs. It is just my assertion that the information provided from the Nadal camp does not add up in the least. Nonetheless, the Spaniard is coasting right now because he has no points to defend from last year. He is merely collecting free points at this stage of the game. Anyhow, he totally dominated Ryan Harrison today making that boy look like amateur hour. There will be a couple of those shots that I am sure made it into the highlight reel on ESPN today.

There is "Kneedal" at it again

There is “Kneedal” at it again

Other winners include Fiery Ferrer, Tommy Robredo, Tipsarevic and Davydenko. Mr. Federer’s match was postponed because of rain and the USTA decided to have an hour long pageantry in lieu of playing tennis. These people are the worst organizers ever. They pay more attention to the huge sponsors than to the needs of the players. Anyway, check out the men’s scoreline below. I do apologize for the late affair but PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO SUPPORT RealzTenisFanz

So before we had any tennis on Monday night, we had to do this...

So before we had any tennis on Monday night, we had to do this…

Then this... He's still making music?? Why??

Then this… He’s still making music?? Why??

And all this too

And all this too

And then finally this... WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH USTA... How about we have this on Saturday night.. Before the open starts

And then finally this… WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH USTA… How about we have this on Saturday night.. Before the open starts

S. Giraldo

3

6

78

C. Berlocq

6

3

66

 

19

T. Robredo

6

66

6

M. Matosevic

3

78

3

 

R. Dutra Silva

4

3

711

V. Pospisil

6

6

69

 

 

4

D. Ferrer

7

6

6

N. Kyrgios

5

3

2

R. Haase

65

6

5

F. Dancevic

77

3

7

 R. Bautista Agut

6

6

6

T. Bellucci

3

2

2

A. Kuznetsov

62

3

77

4

D. Sela

77

6

62

6

 

 

 

 

18

J. Tipsarevic

6

65

6

P. Cuevas

3

77

3

2

R. Nadal

6

6

6

R. Harrison

4

2

2

27

F. Verdasco

3

5

6

3

I. Dodig

6

7

1

6

 

 

 

 

R. Williams

3

6

6

0

N. Davydenko

6

4

1

6

 

 

 

30

E. Gulbis

6

2

6

4

A. Haider-Maurer

3

6

1

6

 

 

 

K. De Schepper

77

2

60

B. Klahn

65

6

77

M. Kukushkin

6

77

7

A. Martin

4

62

5

 S. Robert

6

6

6

A. Olivetti

3

3

4

THE BIG PICTURE SHOW

From a nottie...

From a nottie…

To a hottie.. I cannot get over how much wonders make up can achieve!!!

To a hottie.. I cannot get over how much wonders make up can achieve!!!

How this concept

How this concept

Turned into this tragedy is beyond me... Venus take this crap out pronto!!!

Turned into this tragedy is beyond me… Venus take this crap out pronto!!!

What the hell is this??

What the hell is this??

And you went all out with these nails too?? Is this your version of a lady's mid life crisis?

And you went all out with these nails too?? Is this your version of a lady’s mid life crisis?

Sloane is giving you Stepford Wives face right now

Sloane is giving you Stepford Wives face right now

Yes Jesus you continue to guide Dan Evans at these championships... guide him to my home as well Lord.

Yes Jesus you continue to guide Dan Evans at these championships… guide him to my home as well Lord.

And FeFe Lopez you can bend over for me any time you want

And FeFe Lopez you can bend over for me any time you want

Is the fashion world going to convict Stella McCartney for fashion atrocities or do I have to get the World Fashion Court involved? What the flying fercuque is this getup? Why is the Danish Biscuit allowing herself to be dressed like a girl clown?

Is the fashion world going to convict Stella McCartney for fashion atrocities or do I have to get the World Fashion Court involved? What the flying fercuque is this getup? Why is the Danish Biscuit allowing herself to be dressed like a girl clown?