Realz

US Open 2013: Day 1

In Agnes Radwanska, Feliciano Lopez, Francesca Schiavone, Janko Tipsarevic, Jelena Jankovic, Kei Nishikori, Li Na, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Na Li, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Slaone Stephens, Tennis, Tommy Robredo, US Open, Venus Williams, Victoria Azarenka on August 28, 2013 at 6:28 am
US Open 2013 Arthur Ashe Stadium

US Open 2013 Arthur Ashe Stadium

So the US Open 2013 has started and of course, RealzTenisFanz is behind the times. I am not even going to offer up any sort of excuses as to why this blog is not more regularly updated. The truth is that I am not really committed to the cause. As time consuming as this is, if I really want it to go somewhere, I really have to put in the effort and work at it. I should have been working on this ages ago and have it down to a science. There is no doubt that I love tennis and even more so love discussing its issues. However, writing about tennis, even salacious commentary, is very time consuming. I am thinking perhaps I should just have a daily live show. However, you would be able to see my face and that would make me an easy target for these players and we cannot have now, can we? Perhaps I can do puppetry or something like that. All in due time.

Maria Shriekapova Sugapova Sharapova

Maria Shriekapova Sugapova Sharapova

So the US Open begun and I guess the biggest news was that Shriekapova was not going to be at this year’s Open. She pulled out citing the ever reliable excuse “shoulder injury.” She has had a most horrible year if one were looking at this year in terms of mental strength. She got torn apart in the Aussie Open semis by LiNaLi then won Indian Wells I think. However, she got dismantled by the Serenanator in Miami and the hits kept on coming. She has yet to beat the Serenanator since 2004 or even come close to beating her and that Miami final was crushing. She lost 10 straight games after being up 6-4 and serving for a 4-2 lead. She made her way back to the French Open final and was merely at the mercy of the Serenanator. At Wimbledon, she showed herself to be a gossip monger and all that backfired when she lost in the 2nd round to some virtual no name Portuguese player.

So I don't know what's going on in my life but I think my problems are close at hand

So what had happened was that I was up in the match and then I woke up eating a bagel in the 3rd set. I completely blacked out. So no I do not remember the Miami incident

The summer thereafter was not so kind. Talk of her being “mentally unstable” ensued in the tennis blogosphere (I for one do not question her sanity. I just question her life choices) and she parted with her coach. She picked up a new one, Jimmy Connors….yeah that Jimmy Connors. Now I heard one BBC commentator put it something like this, “I didn’t think Jimmy knew anything about the women’s game other than perhaps dating Chrissie [Chris Evert].” This partnership did not last longer than “Ms. Janey’s fire” (My mother always say this. I don’t know who Ms. Janey is but apparently, her fires never stay lit.) Maria and Jimmy parted ways after she lost in 3 sets to Sloane Stephens in the 2nd round of Cincinnati. Yep, she won one match this summer. Poor Maria! And on top of all this, she wanted to change her name to Sugapova for the Open. Maria, in the words of the Sassy Gay Friend, “Look at your life! Look at your choices!”

2013 Wimbledon Champ Marian Bartoli

2013 Wimbledon Champ Marian Bartoli

Anyway, Shriekapova is not here (the ESPN tea is beside themselves because who are they going to talk about) and then before all this, Marian Bartoli 28 years old, 2013 Wimbledon champion claimed to have retired from tennis after being bounced early in Montreal I think it was. She said that her body hurt. I mean, I am not trying to be mean here but are we really surprised by this announcement? Look at Bartoli’s body coupled with those insane training regiments that Walter had her doing; I am surprised that she has not had far more serious injuries. However, not the take is that she might not have actually retired because she has not asked the WTA/ITF (International Tennis Federation) to remove her from the rankings. I think she is trying to avoid the pressure one gets having won their maiden major a la Petra Kvitova, Francesca Schiavone, Ana Ivanovic, LiNaLi and others. Anyway, we are not really checking for Marian and whether she is present or not, it does not change the price of eggs because the major will play on.

This is Bartoli at her athletic peak.

This is Bartoli at her athletic peak.

I am not going to take a pick and say who will because things can be very topsy-turvy in the women’s game. I mean, Marian Bartoli won Wimbledon convincingly. Nonetheless, all of the other players are here, Venus and Serena, Vickie Azarenka, Aga Radwanska, Sam Stosur, Petra Kvitova (in body, big as it is, though we question if her spirit is still around) and the other lot of ladies trying to win this million dollar plus purse.

The Serenanator is all dressed for business out here

The Serenanator is all dressed for business out here

The Serenanator is again looking in fine form. Since 2011, she has been coming into the Open in tip top shape and she has an amazing record for the year, 50 and 4 losses. Since working with Patrick M (I cannot spell his last name and I am too lazy to copy and paste it right now), She has had 99 wins and 5 losses in just over a year. Now forgive me for sounding rather crude here but if the rumours are true and they are in fact a couple, Serena gurl, give this man whatever he wants in the bedroom…front and back. The price of your “P” off court is small compared to the payout you have been getting on court.  And I have to say that the Serenanator’s game has really matured. She has better court coverage, MORE patient, better groundstrokes including that forehand wing and just overall a more effective game. Patrick M has yet to teach her how to do a drop shot but that is okay, we cannot have it all.

The Serenanator is ready for these championships

The Serenanator is ready for these championships

Coming off a disappointing Wimbledon, she lost once and to Vickie. This is her 2nd lost to the Belarusian on hardcourt this season and the last one came after she dominated the 1st set and also served for the match in the 3rd. It was a repeat of the 2012 US Open final but only this time, Vickie came out on top. However, this takes the pressure off the American and hopefully “Laquanda” does not show up. Interestingly enough, the Serenanator has not really found her stride with her serving this summer. It is very alarming because she is still dominating but she will need it for this championship. The hardcourts of New York can be very brutal and cheap points are needed.

My perennial fav Venus Ebony Starr Williams

My perennial fav Venus Ebony Starr Williams giving you grandmother upholstery realness

So enough with all this silly talk: What went on yesterday? Well you know my perennial favourite, Venus Williams was in action against the 12th seed Kirsten Flipkens, 2012 Wimbledon semi-finalist. Flipkens beat Venus several weeks ago in Montreal in what basically ruined my birthday. However, yesterday, there was no mucking about from the American over the Belgian. 6-1 6-2. She was on her like white on rice. Aga Radwanska also had a similar scoreline against her opponent. The Serenanator was beyond clinical yesterday, she was surgical. She was really going after Schiavone, 2010 French Open champ, in an attempt at a double bagel. In the first point of the match, the American just flicked her racquet and that ball was arrivederci. She is not mucking about here because Schiavone can be a very tricky player especially when given an inch and she has the stamina of a racehorse. However, yesterday, she was decimated on the court. She had to solicit a hug from one of the ballpeople. Fanz, it was a brutal beatdown for the Italian, one she is unlikely to forget.

Say a lil prayer me! I need love love...

Say a lil prayer me! I need love love…

Thanks Frankie for the nice evening warm up. Gurl you know I had to finish you off quickly because this hair cannot get wet

Thanks Frankie for the nice evening warm up. Gurl you know I had to finish you off quickly because this hair cannot get wet

Sloane Stephens came through a tough 3 setter with a final set tiebreak. She has already put it out there that she does not have much faith in her doing well at the open. 8th seed Angelique Kerber won as did 9th seed Jankovic. Check out the ladies results below to see whether your favourites are through to the next round. The US Open is having 3 days of 1st round matches with a couple of 2nd round match ups being played on Wednesday. Do not ask me the logic for this madness. I do not know why they just do not play on the 1st Sunday.

 

 

E.   Makarova

6

   6
P.   Hercog

2

4

8

A.   Kerber

6

 

6

L.   Hradecka

1

1

M.   Johansson

3

1

B.   Mattek-Sands

6

 

6

1

S.   Williams

6

 

6

F.   Schiavone

0

1

K.   Pliskova

6

4

5

E.   Bouchard

4

 

6

7

G.   Voskoboeva

6

 

6

M.   Niculescu

4

3

9

J.   Jankovic

6

 

6

M. Keys

3

4

E.   Cabeza Candela

1

4

A.   Barty

6

 

6

K. Nara

6

 

6

A.   Cadantu

2

2

P.   Ormaechea

6

 

79

K.   Date-Krumm

3

67

M. Puig

4

 

6

5

A.   Kleybanova

6

3

7

 

 

 

K.   Mladenovic

6

1

6

A.   Medina Garrigues

1

 

6

1

15

S.   Stephens

4

 

6

77

M.   Minella

6

3

65

I. Begu

1

3

U.   Radwanska

6

 

6

K.   Bertens

1

3

J.   Zheng

6

 

6

32

A. Pavlyuchenkova

7

 

6

V.   Razzano

5

0

You are gone Nishikori and yeah you have been forgotten. Ain't nobody was checking for you

You are gone Nishikori and yeah you have been forgotten. Ain’t nobody was checking for you

On the men’s side, things were also pretty routine with the only upset of Kei Nishikori, the 11th seed, to British Dan Evans. But truth of the matter, we were not even checking on Nishikori though a 1st round exit was totally unexpected. I guess we can also call the 27th seed, Fernando Verdasco’s loss to Ivan Dodig another upset. However, considering how he has been playing for the past couple of years, we are gonna withhold the use of that word. It goes without saying that Divadal has been unstoppable at the hardcourt tournaments this year. He has risen back up to No 2 and the knee is still going strong. Other than that inexplicable 1st round exit at Wimbledon, he has made it to all of his tournament finals and only lost two of them. He has 9 titles already this year including a historic 8th French Open title. As always, he comes back from “injury” and just goes on a tear. No one is questioning these remarkable “comebacks” It is all being put down to great genetics etc. Divadal has not had any kinda surgery for this “tender knee” yet he goes back on court and does the same exact thing that allegedly got him and his knee in trouble. It is not my implication that the Spaniard is on drugs. It is just my assertion that the information provided from the Nadal camp does not add up in the least. Nonetheless, the Spaniard is coasting right now because he has no points to defend from last year. He is merely collecting free points at this stage of the game. Anyhow, he totally dominated Ryan Harrison today making that boy look like amateur hour. There will be a couple of those shots that I am sure made it into the highlight reel on ESPN today.

There is "Kneedal" at it again

There is “Kneedal” at it again

Other winners include Fiery Ferrer, Tommy Robredo, Tipsarevic and Davydenko. Mr. Federer’s match was postponed because of rain and the USTA decided to have an hour long pageantry in lieu of playing tennis. These people are the worst organizers ever. They pay more attention to the huge sponsors than to the needs of the players. Anyway, check out the men’s scoreline below. I do apologize for the late affair but PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO SUPPORT RealzTenisFanz

So before we had any tennis on Monday night, we had to do this...

So before we had any tennis on Monday night, we had to do this…

Then this... He's still making music?? Why??

Then this… He’s still making music?? Why??

And all this too

And all this too

And then finally this... WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH USTA... How about we have this on Saturday night.. Before the open starts

And then finally this… WAY WAY WAY TOO MUCH USTA… How about we have this on Saturday night.. Before the open starts

S. Giraldo

3

6

78

C. Berlocq

6

3

66

 

19

T. Robredo

6

66

6

M. Matosevic

3

78

3

 

R. Dutra Silva

4

3

711

V. Pospisil

6

6

69

 

 

4

D. Ferrer

7

6

6

N. Kyrgios

5

3

2

R. Haase

65

6

5

F. Dancevic

77

3

7

 R. Bautista Agut

6

6

6

T. Bellucci

3

2

2

A. Kuznetsov

62

3

77

4

D. Sela

77

6

62

6

 

 

 

 

18

J. Tipsarevic

6

65

6

P. Cuevas

3

77

3

2

R. Nadal

6

6

6

R. Harrison

4

2

2

27

F. Verdasco

3

5

6

3

I. Dodig

6

7

1

6

 

 

 

 

R. Williams

3

6

6

0

N. Davydenko

6

4

1

6

 

 

 

30

E. Gulbis

6

2

6

4

A. Haider-Maurer

3

6

1

6

 

 

 

K. De Schepper

77

2

60

B. Klahn

65

6

77

M. Kukushkin

6

77

7

A. Martin

4

62

5

 S. Robert

6

6

6

A. Olivetti

3

3

4

THE BIG PICTURE SHOW

From a nottie...

From a nottie…

To a hottie.. I cannot get over how much wonders make up can achieve!!!

To a hottie.. I cannot get over how much wonders make up can achieve!!!

How this concept

How this concept

Turned into this tragedy is beyond me... Venus take this crap out pronto!!!

Turned into this tragedy is beyond me… Venus take this crap out pronto!!!

What the hell is this??

What the hell is this??

And you went all out with these nails too?? Is this your version of a lady's mid life crisis?

And you went all out with these nails too?? Is this your version of a lady’s mid life crisis?

Sloane is giving you Stepford Wives face right now

Sloane is giving you Stepford Wives face right now

Yes Jesus you continue to guide Dan Evans at these championships... guide him to my home as well Lord.

Yes Jesus you continue to guide Dan Evans at these championships… guide him to my home as well Lord.

And FeFe Lopez you can bend over for me any time you want

And FeFe Lopez you can bend over for me any time you want

Is the fashion world going to convict Stella McCartney for fashion atrocities or do I have to get the World Fashion Court involved? What the flying fercuque is this getup? Why is the Danish Biscuit allowing herself to be dressed like a girl clown?

Is the fashion world going to convict Stella McCartney for fashion atrocities or do I have to get the World Fashion Court involved? What the flying fercuque is this getup? Why is the Danish Biscuit allowing herself to be dressed like a girl clown?

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