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Australian Open 2014: Day 6

In Agnes Radwanska, Alize Cornet, Andy Murray, Australian Open, Carla Suarez Narravo, Caroline Wozniacki, Dominika Cibulkova, Donald Young, Feliciano Lopez, Gael Monfils, Gilles Simon, Grigor Dimitrov, Jelena Jankovic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Kei Nishikori, Maria Sharapova, Milos Raonic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Slaone Stephens, Victoria Azarenka on January 18, 2014 at 8:23 am

Hey Fanz,

Today is going to be a very quick rundown of the score because of time constraints.

Maria is playing herself into major shape at this tournament

Maria is playing herself into major shape at this tournament

Maria Shriekapova (3) took out Alize Cornet (25) who I swear has to be a horcrux of some sorts of Lord Voldemort because she looks a lot like Ralph Fiennes in the Harry Potter Awful movie series. And also Cornet plays like death half the time. Maria raced out to a 4-0 lead before Cornet tried to staunch the bleeding by breaking Maria to only be down 1-4. However, being the witch that she is, we know this break was only an illusion. No way was she going to stage a real comeback in this set. And of course, Cornet gets broken again and Maria served it out to give her the breadstick 6-1. In the 2nd set, Cornet looked more equipped for the challenge and even had set points on multiple occasions but Maria being Maria did not allow Cornet to have it all her way. Maria took it in the breaker 8-6 points and advances to the Round of 16 6-1 7-6.

YES... I am through to the 4th round on my way to a 3rd title

YES… I am through to the 4th round on my way to a 3rd title

Maria and Vickie (2) look on course to meet in the semis as the Belarusian just totally dominated Yvonne Meusburger 6-1 6-0. I am happy that Meusburger got to this stage and not Bojana Jovanovski because I am sure it would have been a double bagel if the Serb had got out of the 2nd round.

Simona Halep (11) took out her opponent quite easily though the 2nd set was a bit more problematic than the 1st 6-1 6-4 over Zarina Diyas of Kazakhstan if I am not mistaken. It seemed as though the early ladies matches were all held at Olive Garden because breadsticks were in abundance. Dominika Cibulkova (20) just totally dismantled Carlo Suarez-Navarro (16) 6-1 6-0. I was really surprised by this result because I thought Spaniard would have put up a bit more fight on court. However, the Australian heat has never been kinda to this el nino so I guess that explains this bitter result.

Fivehead JungleWitch

Fivehead JungleWitch

8th seed Fivehead Jankovic took out yet another Japanese player in straight sets 6-4 7-5. Meanwhile, Bratzwanska (5) survived the charge of Anatasia Fattychunkova (29) who was sizzling in the heat and not in the good way. Pavlyunchenkova took the 1st set 7-5 having been behind for most of it but this effort seemed to have taken its toll on her as she meekly went down 2-6 2-6 in the next two sets. Sloane Stephens (13) also came through for her 2nd consecutive Aussie Open Round of 16 as she got past Elina Svitolina who was playing some decent tennis worthy of an upset. However, the American proved to be the steadier of the two 7-5 6-4.

In her 2nd consecutive appearance in the 2nd week of the Aussie Open

In her 2nd consecutive appearance in the 2nd week of the Aussie Open

And speaking of upset, Wozniacki (10) got dumped out of yet another major in the 1st week of competition. This is her 8th consecutive major failing to reach the 2nd week. She took the 1st set against Spain’s Garbine Muguruza Blanco 6-4 but Muguruza smelt that this was a winnable match and increased the pressure on the Dane. Her efforts were rewarded as she took the match 4-6 7-5 6-3. Danish Biscuit really needs to increase the weights of her groundstrokes otherwise, she will be easy pickings for the rest of the field.

The Danish Biscuit crumbles yet again in the early stages of a major

The Danish Biscuit crumbles yet again in the early stages of a major

On the men’s side, Divadal (1) needed little effort to dispatch of Beetlejuice. As a matter of fact, Divadal took the educational route by taking Beetlejuice to Sesame Street to learn his numbers for he was schooled on court. Divadal took the match 6-1 6-2 6-3. Beetlejuice I hope you can find your way back from Sesame Street and hopefully you pick up some effective action plans and discipline along the way.

Let's count... 1 ball for me, 3 sets for me and no more bullshite from you!!

Let’s count… 1 ball for me, 3 sets for me and no more bullshite from you!!

Yes I get it....

Yes I get it….

Lochness Monster (3) has got himself a pigeon in the form of FeFe Lopez (26). Lochness Murray just proved to be more resourceful and more consistent on the court and thus took the match in straight sets 7-6 6-4 6-2. I feel that Lopez is a top ten player but again like Beetlejuice, I am not sure he has the discipline and commitment to put in the work. Anyway, looking like that, I really do not think he is mostly concerned about his tennis balls.

I am just hot..what more can I say

I am just hot..what more can I say

I might be ugly but I am sure playing pretty tennis right now

I might be ugly but I am sure playing pretty tennis right now

Mr. Federer (6) also won in straight sets 6-2 6-2 6-3 over Gabashvilli. I really like what I saw in the match. However, things are going to get considerably difficult from here on end as he is set to face Baby Ali Tsonga (10) in the next round as the Frenchman dismissed his countryman Gilles Simon (18) also in straight sets 7-6 6-4 6-2.

Tough road ahead for me

Tough road ahead for me

YESSS I get Mr. Federer in the 4th round...

YESSS I get Mr. Federer in the 4th round…

If Mr. Federer is to get through this match, he will surely face Lochness Monster in the quarterfinals as Nessie has a “Lucky Loser” as his Round of 16 opponent. Stéphane Robert who failed to qualify for the main draw got in as Philipp Kohlschreiber pulled out of the tournament, faced another LL Martin Klizan who got in when Nicolas Almagro pulled out as well. However, when these two fortunate souls faced each other for a place in the next round, it was Robert who proved to be luckier. He played safe, smart and at times very brilliant tennis to take the match 6-0 7-6 6-4. This is a wonderful opportunity for the Frenchman who at 33 is in his 1st major Round of 16 albeit that his luck is about to run out against Murray.

I bet you any money he is listening to Beyonce's new album

I bet you any money he is listening to Beyonce’s new album

Kei Nishikori was all samuri like against Young...

Kei Nishikori was all samuri like against Young…

The other three men’s matches featured a bunch of young up and coming players…well mostly players who have been labeled as potential future superstars of the game. So far though, not much have materialized from any of them but one can hardly blame them as this era in tennis is a very very difficult one to make huge impact on the court. Milos Raonic (11) aka Dennis the Menace was just dismal against Grigor Dimitrov (22) aka Mr. Sharapova to you. Raonic is relying on his big serve far too often which is simply a one trick pony move. Dimitrov on the other hand has far more variety to his game and so far this tournament has been showing steady improvement under the new tutelage of Roger Rasheed. Dimitrov took the match 6-3 3-6 6-4 7-6.

Grigor

Grigor

Dimitrov... because sometimes, you're just that hot and get more than one pic

Dimitrov… because sometimes, you’re just that hot and get more than one pic

My what big mouth you have.... all the better to ---- you ...:-)

My what big mouth you have…. all the better to —- you …:-)

This match interestingly enough proved to be the only 3rd round match in the top half where the winner did not win in straight sets. The other two matchups were basically blow outs. Kei Nishikori (16) just utterly destroyed Donald Young on court 7-5 6-1 6-0. Young really needs to get new coaches or at the very least some assistance in the coaching department. His parents have taken him as far as they can. If he really wants to be in the top 20 and I honestly think he has potential to do so, his parents have shown that they are not capable of taking him there. In the final match, Roberto Bautista Agut also dismantled Benoit Paire (27) 6-2 6-1 6-4. I expected a greater effort from the Frenchman but I guess he was drained after his 5th set encounter with Nick Kyrgios in the 2nd round.

Time for a drink...

Time for a drink…

Anyway, this is what draw has shaped up to be in the Men’s top half and the Women’s bottom half for the Round of 16 matchups

Divadal (1) takes on Kei Nishikori (16)
Mr. Sharapova (22) v Bautista Agut
Lochness Monster (4) v Robert (LL)
Mr. Federer (6) v Baby Ali (10) (Interesting)

Vickie (2) v Stephens (13)
Bratzwanska (5) v Muguruza Blanco
Maria (3) v Cibulkova (20)
Fivehead JungleWitch(8) v Halep (11)

 

I don't know what is going on here but something tells me that it is no good...

I don’t know what is going on here but something tells me that it is no good…

 

The Federer girls...waiting for daddy... so sweet...

The Federer girls…waiting for daddy… so sweet…

 

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Australian Open 2014: Day 5

In Ana Ivanovic, Andy Murray, Angelique Kerber, Australian Open, David Ferrer, Donald Young, Dustin Brown, Feliciano Lopez, Fernando Verdasco, Flavia Pennetta, Gael Monfils, Jerzy Janowicz, Jie Zheng, Juan Martin Del Potro, Kei Nishikori, Li Na, Novak Djokovic, Richard Gasquet, Tomas Berdych on January 17, 2014 at 7:03 pm
It hot as Hades down under

It is hot as Hades down under

So it is still hot as hell in Melbourne but play still continues. It seems that Melbourne is experiencing the extremes of weather conditions; wicked sun during the day and rains/lightening/thunder at nights. Hopefully cooler weather prevails because the schedule is kinda backed up (particularly for the doubles events) and also these conditions are TERRIBLE.

Are they using Berdshite's H&M shirts to clean up... I rightly agree with this one

Are they using Berdshite’s H&M shirts to clean up… I rightly agree with this one

Anyway before we go any further, we should clear up some matches from Day 4 which were not necessarily covered…well they were not completed at the time of the publication of Day 4.

I wonder if Realz is going to give me some respect this year

I wonder if Realz is going to give me some respect this year

33rd seed Bojana Jovanovski is simply a mess. I am never backing this girl again. She is not ready for the big league. She could have barely held herself together after winning the 1st set (which was messy) against Yvonne Meusburger from Austria. The Serb went down in 3 sets 6-3 3-6 2-6. If there are fans waiting for this potential star to shine, they should cast their telescopes elsewhere. This “star” has faded. Meanwhile, on the men’s side, Andy Murray is through to the 3rd round. No real surprise there. However, what was surprising was the fact that his opponent Vincent Millot of France got to a 5-1 lead in the 3rd set. This was an incredible achievement on his part considering he is only like 5’8” To say that Millot fizzled at this point is an understatement. Millot just rolled over and let Lochness Monster @$$ raped him on court. Lochness Murray won 23 consecutive points. Now who does this? Really Millot, you could not even make it interesting on your own serve? WTF? I can’t. Lochness won 6 consecutive games to take the set and the match 6-2 6-2 7-5. Millot on the other hand should go eat shite and die. This is just utterly unacceptable. Had this been on the WTA, the papers would have been all over this madness but of course it is the ATP, so furor over this as far as I am aware. AND I am sure it is part of the highlights reels.

I don't know what had happened...I lost in the 2nd round. No me gusta

I don’t know what had happened…I lost in the 2nd round. No me gusta

Anyway, as if that wasn’t bad enough, Del Potro (5) and Verdasco (31) decided that it was more important to lose than win their 2nd round matches in 5 sets. I mean Delpo, you lost to some journeyman Spaniard, Roberto Bautista Agut. Who is he?? You went out 6-4 3-6 7-5 4-6 5-7 to him? This is not the Spaniard who was supposed to give you issues. I can’t with nonsense from these top players. I am no longer factoring Delpo to win another major. Beast Boy has turned into some mere shadow of himself. He dare not say it is the wrist injury. It is high time he makes some serious decision about his game and put in the work to get back into major contention. Losing in 2nd rounds of majors is not going to help at all. Verdasco..well not like he has been doing much as of late but he has had success here Down Under…he  lost to Gabashvilli who I thought had retired from tennis. Anyway, let us get to Day 5 results because Day 4 is making me mad.

I am winning this here match today!!

I am winning this here match today!!

I almost forgot, there was also the late matchup of the 28th seed Benoit Paire (my paramour) and Nick Kyrgios of Australia by way of Greece. Anyway, Kyrgios won the first 2 sets 7-6 7-6 and homeboy started to feel himself. As old people would say where I am from originally, “He started to smell his own balls” and thus felt he was the man. And of course the crowd was giving him all that energy. But I guess they forgot that Paire could play tennis and I am sure better tennis than Kyrgios who got a WC to enter the tournament. Boo Boo Benoit got his life together and beat that cocky stance from Kyrgios as he took the match in 5 sets 6-7 6-7 6-4 6-2 6-2.

My paramour Benoit

My paramour Benoit showing these young upstarts who is the boss…at least in the 2nd round

So the Serenanator (1), Carebear Kerber (9) and Penne Pasta Pennetta (28) all made quick work of their opponents. The sun was brutal though less so than the day before. However, no one is trying to be outside for more than they need to at this point. ReRe subsequently defaulted from her 1R doubles match. Well the official reason is because Venus had some kinda thigh issue but we all know the real reason is the sun and ReRe needs to focus her singles tournament. I should mention that Serena Williams now has the all time record for singles victory at the Aussie Open getting to 61 moving past the great Margaret Court who in her era basically owned this tournament. By the way Margaret Court is on my shite list for her very public views on gays and gay marriage. This is a very nice accomplishment for the American. ReRe 6-3 6-3 over Daniela Hepburnova; Carebear Kerber 6-3 6-4 v Alison Riske of the US and Penne Pasta Pennetta 6-1 7-5 against Moaning Mona Barthel.

The Serenanator is trying to deal with this heat and through to the next round

The Serenanator is trying to deal with this heat and through to the next round

Ekaterina Makarova (22) who took out Venus Williams in the opening round is showing herself to be in good form at this year’s open when she took out Monica Niculescu in straight sets 6-4 6-4. Meanwhile, Canadian Eugenie Bouchard (30) is showing great potential as serious contender as she confidently took out American Lauren Davis 6-2 6-2. And speaking of potential future stars, Aussie Casey Dellacqua beat Jie Zheng in straight sets 6-2 6-4. Zheng was definitely feeling the heat today. Dellacqua moves through to the Round of 16.

Lady Gollum was on it at the beginning of the match

Lady Gollum was on it at the beginning of the match

There were two big key match ups yesterday LiNaLi v Lady Gollum Safarova and Ivanovic the Terrible v D’Stove Stosur. First up was LiNaLi v Lady Gollum Safarova. Li started poorly or perhaps it was just that Safarova started very well but the 4th seed found herself down a set and struggling to hold serve in the 2nd. So it was no surprise that Lucie was serving for the match 5-3 in the 2nd. However, Safarova blinked and that was all LiNaLi needed to get her life together. She even saved match point as Safarova became a little too cocky on her groundstrokes, going for broke on every shot. LiNaLi got the 2nd set to a tiebreaker and dominated to take it to a 3rd set. Safarova started well enough 2-0 but only won 1 more games of the next 7 played. LiNaLi lived to fight another day 1-6 7-6 6-3. Lucie will feel this loss as it is her 7th consecutive loss to the Chinese player. Lady Gollum you had your chances for this precious win but you dropped it and lost it. I am sure it did not help matters that her ex Tomas Berdshite was the next match up on court and his model girl was in the stands.

LiNaLi survives another day

LiNaLi survives another day

Tomasz only likes winners like me..

Tomasz only likes winners like me..

In the other big match up Stosur v Ana, this one I figured was going to be really interesting because the winner faces the Serenanator but more importantly, these two former 1 time major winner, are both struggling for some resurgence in their careers. They are both languishing in the lower half of the top 20. They have yet to reclaim that form that guided them to 2 major finals and 1 major win. So I figured that this would be a real contest and for the most part it was. Rain did not help matters but as per the norm, Stosur disappointed. She took the 1st set but in the 2nd set, allowed her “backwardhand” to be overplayed. Her kick serve is not so effective against a player of Ana’s height and comparing forehand to forehand (the main arsenal in both of these players’ games) Ana’s is the better. However, we all know the major issue with Ana is whether Ivanovic the Terrible will show up on court and spoil matters especially since the crowd will be fiercely for Sam.

Big match up... battle of the forehands

Big match up… battle of the forehands

Sam served for the 1st set 5-4 but was broken which led matters to the tiebreaker where Sam took it. Rain came and halted play. When things got under way in the 2nd set, Ana looked to be the more aggressive and took the set 6-4. In the 3rd set, Ana found her range and exploited that backwardhand of Sam to the fullest and took the set and the match 6-7 6-4 6-2.

So the Round of 16 in the top women’s half has been set..
ReRe (1) v Ivanovic the Terrible (14)
LiNaLi (4) v Makarova (22)
Carebear Kerber (9) v Penne Pasta Pennetta (28)
Bouchard (30) v Dellacqua

It is HOTTT

It is HOTTT

On the men’s side of the draw, things were mostly routine.  David Fiery Ferrer (3) took on Jeremy Chardy (29). Things started relatively simply for the Spaniard as he took the 1st set 6-2 but then Chardy broke in the 2nd set and serve for the set. However, the Frenchmen did a spectacular job of choking to give Ferrer back the upper hand in the match. Ferrer did not relinquish his hold and took the match 6-2 7-6 6-2.

Berdshite also won in straight sets knocking out a qualifier. He is playing nicely enough and might be a contender here but we all know what happens when you put pressure on this Czech… he falls apart like a dainty flower. Other straight set winners were Florian Mayer who easily dispatched of the 20th seed Jerzy Janowicz. I did not realize that Jerzy was dealing with a broken foot… well recently healed broken foot and was advised to not play the tournament. He was unprepared something he freely admitted. He went against it and look at the result. Mayer won 7-5 6-2 6-2. In the end Mayer was merely conserving energy because Jerzy was no contender. I wonder what sparked this mad decision because athletes have to know that their bodies are not indestructible no matter how invincible they feel. What Jerzy did was totally reckless in my opinion and his team should be admonished for this. With his limited mobility and the desert heat, I hope he does not do some irreparable damage to his physical body. It is obvious that there is brain damage by this foolish act. Was this decision driven by money?? Who knows…

Yeah I feel the choke coming up from my stomach

Yeah I feel the choke coming up from my stomach

And speaking of madness, Frenchman Eduardo Roger-Vasselin let go of a 2-0 sets lead over 19th seed Kevin Anderson. Roger-Vasselin was up 6-3 6-4 against the hard serving South African but it seems after that, Vasselin was more like vagisil because his game needed a midol. He just capitulated and the South African had his way with the match taking it 3-6 4-6 6-3 7-6 7-5. There are so many talented Frenchmen all of whom just dim in the spotlight. They are usually good and at times brilliant but they are all about showboating. They have no discipline. They are not ready for the big times. Granted that this current era of tennis has seen not one or two great players but THREE as well as a 2nd fiddler who is good enough to be 1st chair violin ever so often. It is hard for those on the outside to break into the top. Of course Roger Vasselin was not the only Frenchman to choke to death out there; Richard Gasquet (9) had to get in on the action. He was up on Robredo (17) in the 1st set 6-2 and you thought that Gasquet was really going to take this match but you know these Frenchies, they are never comfortable with a lead. At times, it seems as though they are allergic to being on top. They only want to be behind and that was where Gasquet found himself as he continually allowed Robredo to dig into the match and get more comfortable. Thus an upset took place and the 17th seed moves to the 2nd week of a major 2-6 7-5 6-4 7-6 over Gasquet.

I am trying to stop the choke from coming out

I am trying to stop the choke from coming out

YESSS I didn't get bageled!!

YESSS I didn’t get bageled!!

Anyway, other winners include Djoker Harlequeen who was quite efficient in his dismissal of Denis Istomin who I think has a bright future ahead of him just so long as he keeps working hard. Nonetheless, his time was not last night as Djoker took him out 6-3 6-3 7-5. A sorta surprising result for me was Fabio Fognini (15) (resident hottie here at RealzTenisFanz) straight sets win over Sam Querry 7-5 6-4 6-4. Yes Fognini is ranked higher but I expected Sam to give a better fight; to be far more competitive. This was a golden opportunity. However, Sam Querry’s performance capsulate in a way what is wrong with American men’s tennis…. Actually American tennis in general; there is just no imagination, no guts and no multi-dimensionality (if I might use that word) to their games. Everyone can spot the strategy from the jump and they know exactly what they are getting from their effort. No surprises in the least. At the US Open there is a little flair in the 1st week but rarely do they make it to or past the Round of 16. This was a winnable match for Querry, yet he went out meekly. Maybe I am being too harsh but anyway, who would have thought that Donald Young would be last American man standing? He takes on Nishikori (16) tomorrow so that should be an interesting matchup and Young legitimately has a chance here but I have no real expectations that he will get the job done.

Fabulous Fognini

Fabulous Fognini

So the Round of 16 matchups for the bottom half are:
Berdshite (7) v Anderson (19)
Mayer v Fiery Ferrer (3)
Wawrinka (8) v Robredo (17) Wawrinka got a bye into the 4R when Vasek Pospisil pulled out.
Djoker Harlequeen (2) v Fognini (15)

Again I have to stress how Easy Bake Oven Harlequeen’s draw is. I mean seriously what is Fognini going to do? Even more pertinent question is whether Fognini will even show up for the match. He has been known to default and just collect the cheque.

Anyway, the rest of these matchups should be delightful enough for even the pedestrian fans.

Yeah it was no competition gurl....

Yeah it was no competition gurl….

Yeah you better put that face on ice gurl because Tomaz don't want you anymore!!

Yeah you better put that face on ice gurl because Tomaz don’t want you anymore!!

A piece of ice just fell between my girls

A piece of ice just fell between my girls

I think I got it

I think I got it

OMG OMFG FeFe Lopez I want this for my birthday, breakfast, lunch and dinner!!!

OMG OMFG FeFe Lopez I want this for my birthday, breakfast, lunch and dinner!!!

Double scoop of chocolate!! I have to say that Beetlejuice don't look so bad next to Dreddy Tennis

Double scoop of chocolate!! I have to say that Beetlejuice don’t look so bad next to Dreddy Tennis

Australian Oven 2014: Day 4

In Agnes Radwanska, Alize Cornet, Andreas Seppi, Andy Murray, Australian Open, Caroline Wozniacki, Christina McHale, Dominika Cibulkova, Donald Young, Feliciano Lopez, Grigor Dimitrov, Jerzy Janowicz, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Juan Martin Del Potro, Kei Nishikori, Milos Raonic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Slaone Stephens, Varvara Lepchenko on January 16, 2014 at 8:18 am
It is HOT HOT down under!!

It is HOT HOT down under!!

Hey fanz! I hope some of you got to read Day 3 post and if you have not, I hope you do so today. Well the Aussie Oven was one of extremes yesterday. The place was on fire and play had to be suspended. The EXTREME HEAT RULE was put into effect. All courts with roofs will be closed after the current sets and play will resume indoor. All play on outside will be suspended after current sets to await a drop in temperatures. When play resumed after the heat break, the thunder and lightning ensued, suspending play again. This seriously messed up the schedule. So it would be that I would have posted this and some matches would have not been completed. As I right there are several matches taking place on other courts which usually would not be seeing play at this late hour.

My crotch is on fire!! Save me!! Save it!

My crotch is on fire!! Save me!! Save it!

I need the ice in my body, in my veins to keep cool

I need the ice in my body, in my veins to keep cool

She was hallucinating

She was hallucinating

Anyway, in the heat, Maria Shriekapova pulled through a tough match against Karin Knapp of Italy. Maria has been struggling this major. Usually she handles these no namers in convincing fashion but these last 2 rounds showed her to be less than stellar. Anyway, she won the 1st set 6-3 but sloppy serving handed Karin the 2nd set. Maria served for the match 5-4 in the 3rd but then soon lost her way as the Italian broke back and held serve to be up 6-5. Maria now had to serve to stay in the match. She did so three times to get to 8-8. It was at this point Maria got herself together to break and serve out the match 10-8. In her final service game, Maria double faulted 3 times. This kinda play will not serve her well against the likes of Vickie or the Serenanator. Maria 6-3 4-6 10-8.

I will take the win even if it wasn't pretty

I will take the win even if it wasn’t pretty

Vickie won her match in straight sets 6-1 6-4. Danish Biscuit (10) had an up and down match against American Christina McFail… I mean McHale. McHale got bagelled in the 1st set and then came back to take the 2nd 6-1. But I know McHale, I know that surge in energy was too good to be true. She was going to let me down in the 3rd and she did not disappoint. She lost the match 2-6 in the 3rd. McHale has been on the tour long enough now to be getting on better in these types of matches. She is acting too often like an amateur. I know she had “mono” recently but that is no excuse to be acting like a “dodo” on court. She you can do way better than this.

I thought someone got rid of this Foo!!

I thought someone got rid of this Foo!!

An interesting matchup took place between Camila Giorgi and Alize Cornet. Cornet won the match 6-4 4-6 6-4. However, she only hit SIX winners as Giorgi committed SEVENTY THREE unforced errors. The Italian gifted this match to the French. This is madness. Giorgi should be spanked around court. Cornet on the other hand will face Maria who I am sure will not spare the opportunity to punish those weak shots of Cornet. Watch out for a bagel/breadstick sets.

OMG I won! I won! I won a 2nd round match!!

OMG I won! I won! I won a 2nd round match!!

Other winners include Simona Halep (11) who shone brilliantly in the sun whilst her opponent Varvarne Lepchenko faded in the light. The American won the 1st set 6-4 but won only 1 game for the next 13. She couldn’t deal with the heat. Carlo Navarro-Suarez (16) came from behind 2-5 to take the match 8-6 in the 3rd v Galina Voskoboeva. Meanwhile, Elena Svitolina made good on her upset of Kuzi-Rex by taking out Aussie wildcard Olga Rogowska 6-4 7-5. Radwanska (5) is also through to the 3rd round as are Fivehead Jankovic (8) Dominika Cibulkova (20) and Anastasia Fattychunkova (29). All won in straight sets. Sloane Stephens (13) had a tougher time in her match. She was down a set 3-6 v Aija Tomljanovic but reeled off 7 straight games to take the 2nd 2-6 and being up 3-0 in the 3rd. However, the heavens open up and Stephens lost her way. The Croat took the next 5 games and served for the match 5-3. However, she lost her way at that point and dropped the next 4 games. Stephens won 3-6 6-2 7-5

WTF it is going to rain now?? The weather goddess is definitely menopausal

WTF it is going to rain now?? The weather goddess is definitely menopausal

On the men’s side of things, fewer matches have been completed at this point. Divadal got through his match rather quickly 6-2 6-4 6-2. Mr. Federer also got through in straight sets but he sorta took a scenic tour in the 3rd 6-2 6-1 7-6. Nishikori (16) and Monfils (25) also came through in straight sets.

Beetlejuice will do battle against Divadal in the 3rd round!!

Beetlejuice will do battle against Divadal in the 3rd round!!

Hotness .... Bellucci and Baby Ali... a delicious combo if there ever was one

Hotness …. Bellucci and Baby Ali… a delicious combo if there ever was one

Baby Ali (10) got past Thomaz Bellucci who can be a tough customer especially with this heat. Ali came through in straight sets 7-6 6-4 6-4. I hope Bellucci gets his life together soon. He is HOT and he can play decent tennis. He deserves to at least be on the cusp of winning a major. Milos Raonic (11) aka Denis the Menace, Grigor Dimitrov (22) aka Mr. Sharapova former Mr. Serenanator also came through in straight sets as did FeFe Lopez (26). This top half is LOADED with talent. It is going to be “epic” matches to get through to the next round.

Donald Young...going cookoo for this Coco Puff

Donald Young…going cookoo for this Coco Puff

Hot matchup of the day is Donald Young v Andreas Seppi (24). So much hotness on the court… the temperature went up 20 degrees with these two on court together. Young took the 1st set 6-4 but dropped the 2nd 2-6. Seppi loves marathon matches but Young took the 3rd 6-3. However, Seppi was determined to get this to a 5th set at the least and he denied Young the chance to close it out in 4 by taking the 4th set 6-4. The heat rule went into effect. I was so mad at Young because he had this on his racquet and these kinda opportunities have been rare in his career. Nonetheless, upon return Young got his life together to take the 5th set 7-5 and thus the match. EXCELLENT on his part to make the 3rd round of another major.

Don't worry boo I got you

Don’t worry boo I got you

It must be noted that 2 lucky losers are through to the 3rd round here at the Oven… Stephane Robert of France and Martin Klizan of Slovakia. Congratulations dudes for not wasting your opportunities and make that paper as much as you can now!!

Currently going on is Chin Cilic struggling inexplicably against Gilles Simon. DelPo getting it together to close out the match in 4 sets.

Lochness Monster is ready to try and win another major

Lochness Monster is ready to try and win another major

Update: Lochness Monster pulled through is match 6-2 6-2 7-5… being down 1-5 in the 3rd he won 23 STRAIGHT POINTS. Gosh the French can be so annoying. Millot you couldn’t even win one more game. WTF?? Meanwhile, Chin Cilic and Simon are in a 5th set. Cilic got breadsticked in the 4th set.

See what happens when you pay some people compliments... I just said her outfit last time was nice... now look at this mess??

See what happens when you pay some people compliments… I just said her outfit last time was nice… now look at this mess??

So hot even my boobs are watering

So hot even my boobs are watering

Jesus all I want to be right now is that mist on Janowicz body...Yes Lord make me into a droplet of water... You turned water into wine. Surely you can turn man into mist. Let me run all the way down his chest and back to get his heaven....

Jesus all I want to be right now is that mist on Janowicz body…Yes Lord make me into a droplet of water… You turned water into wine. Surely you can turn man into mist. Let me run all the way down his chest and back to get his heaven….

Australian Open 2014: Day 3

In Ana Ivanovic, Andrea Petkovic, Australian Open, Ekaterina Makarova, Feliciano Lopez, Flavia Pennetta, Jerzy Janowicz, Jie Zheng, Li Na, Lleyton Hewitt, Mikhail Youzhny, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Sabine Lisicki, Sam Stosur, Serena Williams, Tomas Berdych on January 15, 2014 at 11:34 pm
CLT+ALT+DEL

CLT+ALT+DEL

Hey Fanz I am so sorry that this posting is coming to you at about the time that Day 4 is set to begin at the Australian Open. Well technically, Day 4 has already begun. I was having extreme technical difficulties. I just found out that the hard drive on my laptop is damaged and that I will loose everything that is on it. This is a bummer and a half. I do not know much about computers. Needless to say that I am hot like the weather in Australia. The only good thing is that the computer is still under warranty. My desktop was not working so well but that was a simple easier fix. So I can post this and the others hopefully.

I think someone is literally being barbequed right now

I think someone is literally being barbequed right now

To the tennis: MY GOD IT IS HOT DOWN UNDER. Everyone is complaining about the heat. I mean we all know that it is hot in Australia at this time but now it is RIDONCULOUS. #Globalwarmingmuch The on court temperatures are hotter than outside temperatures and players are burning up…and not in the good way. It is mainly survival tennis at this time…ie if they can survive the heat to play tennis..

Shade... I must get to the shade...

Shade… I must get to the shade…

But let’s get to the results.

It was a semi-tough day out there for the Chinese but she is through to the 3rd round

It was a semi-tough day out there for the Chinese but she is through to the 3rd round

LiNaLi won her matchup in sorta convincing fashion. LiNaLi won the 1st set in bagel fashion but struggled in the 2nd as Belinda Bencic started to play for real now. However, get valiant effort didn’t pay off as she lost in the tiebreaker. The Swiss is one of the younglings to keep an eye on for the future. The Serenanator was far more routine in her victory 6-1 6-2. Sam D’Stove Stosur is finding her game in Australia again these days as she took out the ever dangerous Pironkova in straight sets 6-2 6-0. Pironkova however had a broken crotch and was clearly hampered by this. Nonetheless, D’Stove will take the win. I believe she’ll face Ana the Terrible for a place in the Round of 16 where the winner will face the Serenanator if current form holds true.

I am ready for these itches...BRING IT ON

I am ready for these itches…BRING IT ON

Several seeded players lost their way to the 3rd round. Lisicki (15) didn’t get the rest of the game plan for the 2nd and 3rd sets from Hingis as after winning the 1st set 6-2 over Niculescu, she basically didn’t even know her way to Sesame Street. Lisicki had a blonde moment that lasted the rest of the match. Meanwhile, Niculescu seized the moment to hold serve and fried up a two piece combo meal for Lisicki. Niculescu 2-6 6-2 6-2
Casey Dellacqua gave Australia much to smile about as she trashed 18th seed Kristen Flipkens 6-3 6-0.

Lisicki in the 1st set!

Lisicki in the 1st set!

Losicki after the 2nd and 3rd sets

Losicki after the 2nd and 3rd sets

Most of the other seeded players came through for the 3rd round including Carebear Kerber (9),Ana the Terrible (14) Makarova (22), Safarova (26) aka Lady Gollum, Flavia Penne Pasta (28),Eugenie Bouchard (30) and Daniela Hepburnova (31) who won 12-10 in the 3rd set.

Eugenie Bouchard of Canada... honey you bought that outfit from a moose in Saskatchewan?

Eugenie Bouchard of Canada… honey you bought that outfit from a moose in Saskatchewan?

One would think that with all these gay fans, she would not be committing these fashion atrocities... But I guess that's how they roll in Canada

One would think that with all these gay fans, she would not be committing these fashion atrocities… But I guess that’s how they roll in Canada

Other notable winners included Americans Laura Davis who dismissed Julia Goerges in 3 sets, Alison Riske who handed out unlimited breadsticks to Yanina Wickmayer 6-1 6-1, Moaning Mona Barthel who is benefitting from the ousting of Petra Kvitova. Jie Zheng former semifinalist here in 2010 also won with a 3 set victory over American Madison Keys.

Djoker is all business with his easy bake oven draw

Djoker is all business with his easy bake oven draw

I'm sorry but Boris Becker looks like an overexuberant butch lesbian soccer mom

I’m sorry but Boris Becker looks like an overexuberant butch lesbian soccer mom

On the men’s side Djoker Harlequeen isn’t wasting time on court as he dismissed his opponent on convincing fashion 6-0 6-4 6-4. Berdshite also won in straight sets. Fiery Ferrer needed 4 sets to get through the 3rd round. He’s randomly dropping sets these days so look for and early round lost from the Spaniard. I don’t see him getting to the latter stages of this major. Sam Querry aka the Grinch took out the 23rd seed Ernst Gulbis in straight sets. I hope no one was betting on Gulbis because he’s never sure money unless you’re betting on his opponent. Gulbis ever remains that enigma. I was actually surprised that he was seeded here and so high. Nonetheless, very good of Sam to try to salvage American mens tennis. They need all the big wins they can get.

The Grinch is trying to steal his way into the latter stages of a major

The Grinch is trying to steal his way into the latter stages of a major

There were two other seeded players who got dispersed but wasn’t really make losses. Youzhny (14) lost to Florian Mayer in 5 sets. I expected more from the Russian but I forgot he’s Russian and meltdown is inevitable. His compatriot 30th seed Dmitry Tursunov fell to Denis Istomin in 4 sets. Istomin is a dangerous floater so watch him. Ivan Dodig (32) had to retire in the 4th set.

I hope you aall didn't forget about me

I hope you aall didn’t forget about me

Things are so bad with Davydenko these days, he got himself a tan.

Things are so bad with Davydenko these days, he got himself a tan.

Despite this, most of the other seeded players played their parts to the hilt and were able to move through to play another day. Gasquet (9) came through in straight sets over Nikolay Davydenko. I expected at least 4 sets from this match but Gasquet is playing smart tennis these days at majors. Good of him. High time now he produces the top level tennis we all hoped he would give. Pity he came win a major unless a plague hits the draw. However he’s not the only one praying for the locusts to fly, Fabio Fognini (15), Tommy Robredo (17), Kevin Anderson (19), Jerzy Janowicz (20), Jeremy Chardy (29) all hope that God would send the floods again to wash the top 6 away because the Red Sea will part again before they win a major whilst the top 6 are alive and well in the draw. They can barely win regular tour tournaments much more hoist a major trophy. When was the last time one of the top 6 didn’t win the master level trophy? Probably like 2011 and that was just one person I think.

Florian Mayer working himself through to the 3rd round

Florian Mayer working himself through to the 3rd round

Anyway in regards to that much anticipated showdown between Matthew Ebden and Vasek Pospisil (28) Pospisil won of course in 4 sets giving the Aussie a breadstick to wave to the crowd in the 4th set 3-6 7-6 7-6 6-1 what a waste!

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this posting despite it’s late arrival….

She might not be pretty in pink but she sure is powerful! You know a woman is doing it and doing it right when she got her man carrying the purse! ReRe that lil pouchette is killing me

She might not be pretty in pink but she sure is powerful! You know a woman is doing it and doing it right when she got her man carrying the purse! ReRe that lil pouchette is killing me

I thought Stella was improving... simple, clean, effective and cute

I thought Stella was improving… simple, clean, effective and cute

Then I saw this mess...

Then I saw this mess…

Stella needs to STOP!!! Can't the fashion court step in and issue an injuction against Stella and all her designing ideas??

Stella needs to STOP!!! Why can’t I get a real endorsement deal and be spared from this garbage??

Berdshite is a soccer player now?? I mean seriously H&M can't you do better than this

Berdshite is a soccer player now?? I mean seriously H&M can’t you do better than this

Kuzi, I don't know what got into you and the stars but I need for you to night night to this hideous dress... NO BUENO

Kuzi, I don’t know what got into you and the stars but I need for you to night night to this hideous dress… NO BUENO

Checkmate!! Move this piece off the board IMMEDIATELY

Checkmate!! Move this piece off the board IMMEDIATELY

Keep staring at the wall... You are on punishment for that skirt!!

Keep staring at the wall… You are on punishment for that skirt!!

Hot head!!

Hot head!!

My ears are melting!

My ears are melting!

Sleepytime

Sleepytime

What had happened? What you mean it is not nap time??

What had happened? What you mean it is not nap time??

WTF?? His teeth matches his shirt! I know times are changing and tennis all about colours but we can at least keep our teeth white to pay hommage... that's just FOUL..

WTF?? His teeth matches his shirt! I know times are changing and tennis all about colours but we can at least keep our teeth white to pay hommage… that’s just FOUL..

2014+Australian+Open+Day+3+senb7HNDFi8l

Monica…this face is not okay!! You are scaring the children!!

The best thing about Andy Murray is Daniel Vallverdu

The best thing about Andy Murray is Daniel Vallverdu

My Revlon EverLast lipstick is really working!!

I think so too… he is delish!!

Djoker is showing his "treasure chest"

Djoker is showing his “treasure chest”

I am not impressed

I am not impressed

Berdshite showing off the clean smooth look

Berdshite showing off the clean smooth look

Hmmm I might want a taste of some of that but...

Hmmm I might want a taste of some of that but…

I think I am sexy and I hope you think so too

I think I am sexy and I hope you think so too

It's okay but still

It’s okay but still

A Brazilian and a Spaniard combo

A Brazilian and a Spaniard combo

YES now this is what I am talking about... I am definitely get behind this kinda meal combo

YES now this is what I am talking about… I am definitely get behind this kinda meal combo

Huh?? What are you doing? I told you my wrist is hurting?

Huh?? What are you doing? I told you, it is my wrist that’s hurting

YEAHHHHHHHH TAKE IT LIKE A MAN... TAKE IT

YEAHHHHHHHH TAKE IT LIKE A MAN… TAKE IT I see gaynesia about to happen in 5, 4, 3, 2…

I'm trying...

I’m trying…

Hey Realz, I am talking to you... Stop saying shit about my man Lleyton. Yes I did done stole him from Kim but that's none of your business. She was flexible is true but my mouth made up for it in bed and Lleyton chose me. I will not tolerate any more smack about him. I will hunt you down like a dog if you say one more thing about him. You have been warned!

Hey Realz, I am talking to you… Stop saying shit about my man Lleyton. Yes I did done stole him from Kim but that’s none of your business. She was flexible is true but my mouth made up for it in bed and Lleyton chose me. I will not tolerate any more smack about him. I will hunt you down like a dog if you say one more thing about him. You have been warned!

Australian Open 2014: Day 2

In Australian Open, Bernard Tomic, Carla Suarez Narravo, Caroline Wozniacki, Christina McHale, Daniel Brands, Dominika Cibulkova, Donald Young, Feliciano Lopez, Fernando Verdasco, Francesca Schiavone, Gael Monfils, Gilles Simon, Grigor Dimitrov, Jelena Jankovic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Juan Martin Del Potro, Kaia Kanepi, Kei Nishikori, Lleyton Hewitt, Maria Sharapova, Milos Raonic, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Slaone Stephens, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tennis, Varvara Lepchenko, Victoria Azarenka on January 14, 2014 at 9:55 am
Really? You really cannot be that hot if you are wearing scuba gear outside. It must be your brain that is on fire

Really? You really cannot be that hot if you are wearing scuba gear outside. It must be your brain that is on fire

Well folks thus far we are definitely on track with the postings so I am indeed excited about this fact. However, I have to share a bit of misfortune for me. Now, everyone that knows me knows that I am OBSESSED with tennis. I am obsessed with tennis, opera and the Olympics…..yeah and also going to the gym (Only Goldilocks is checking for bears!) I always make it a point to mention my passion for the game of tennis as well as the fact that I have a blog. I always shamelessly try to get RealzTenisFanz out there as much as possible. So imagine my surprise when I am talking to a co-worker recently about the fact that I love tennis. She expressed her genuine shock at the fact that I love tennis for she is friends with a member of Djoker Harlequeen camp. She use to be a former supermodel working with the likes of Claudia Schiffer etc….She was big though not huge in the supermodel sense. She is a good-looking woman and her model shots are AMAZING but I digress. It gets better people… She added “You should have told me because he is always offering me tickets to the US Open! You should have told me because I would have given you the tickets! He is always offering me but I never go”

untitled

To say I was flabbergasted is not even the word. WTF? WTFF? WTMFFF?? Is she mad? Is she INSANO! How could she not know? I mean seriously, HOW?? I had to walk away because Satan was whispering evil violent things in my ears and I was ever so inclined to obey. I could not deal because for me, this was no excuse. I could not believe I was so close to being in the players’ box to wear my RealzTenisFanz T-shirt, be on TV, get publicity for this prestigious publication and be famous. I could have even been the lucky charm that Djoker Harlequeen needed to deal with Divadal on that day of the finals. And I missed all of that because of her ignorance. Can you believe the madness of the world? UTTER MADNESS! Needless to say, she was on my shit list all day long. However, come 2014, you know Realz is cashing in on this hook up!!!

Anyway, let us get to Aussie Open action. Wait, I forgot…well I was not that I forgot but it seems as though I missed this news altogether. My former model friend informed me of this. Djoker Harlequeen hired Boris Becker as his coach! Oh my berries, things are getting serious. I mean I figured that things would have to change up with Djoker as for the past 2 years, he has missed some key opportunities in at majors namely, French 2012/2013, Wimbledon 2013, US Open 2012/2013. I mean he has been a mess in big tournaments. However, I always felt that it was his faults not a coaching failure but what do I know. So he takes on a famous former big name player in his coaching corner. Marian Vajda will be taking a backseat and travel with Djoker to limited tournament. Apparently, he was influential in picking Becker as his replacement. Meanwhile, Mr. Federer hired Stefan Edberg to be in his box. We all know that Lochness Monster Murray has Ivan Lendl to help with matters. While all these former glories are trying to light up the paths for current players, Divadal has tired ole cheating Toni Nadal who I do not even think was a professional player himself but yet is kicking all these asses royally. “Isn’t this ironic?” (Alanis Morissette) There is a saying I like saying that I believe that I have coined myself; A good Mathematician isn’t necessarily a good Math teacher.”

Yeah I do not know how effective I can be but I know I would see my name more often in the papers.

Yeah I do not know how effective I can be but I know I would see my name more often in the papers. (Boris Becker, Djoker’s new coach 6 majors)

Mr. Federer and his new coach Stefan Edberg (6 majors)

Mr. Federer and his new coach Stefan Edberg (6 majors)

Lochness Monster and Ivan Lendl (8 majors)

Lochness Monster and Ivan Lendl (8 majors)

Divadal and Uncle Toni (0 majors) Just beat those bitches with their major title.

Divadal and Uncle Toni (0 majors) Just beat those bitches with their major titles

Let’s get to the results:

So the day was HOT! It was SCORCHING!! Melbourne was on fire. It was approaching near record temperatures on the grounds. I think this girl below does a way better job of expressing the heat conditions than I do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8lXYWXJfHQ

Anyway, Vickie (2) was not having it at all. She looked lethargic, bothered and bloated. I do not know if it is just me but she looks out of shape. However, she is getting the job done when needs be. She took out her opponent in straight sets though it was far from a routine victory 7-6 6-2.

I cannot deal with this heat

I cannot deal with this heat

On the other hand, Caroline Wozniacki (10) aka Danish Biscuit, wasted no time on court as she ousted her opponent 6-0 6-2. Simone Halep (11) also trashed her opponent 6-0 6-1. Dominika Cibulkova (20) took out former French Open winner Francesca Schiavone in straight sets 6-3 6-4. Francesco has been hitting tough times lately and might soon be playing qualies to be getting into tournaments. Maria Shriekapova playing the last match of the day took out Bethanie Mattek-Sands in straight sets though it was a messy affair 6-3 6-4.

Danish Biscuit was baking

Danish Biscuit was baking

Other straight sets winners include Slaone Stephens (13), Fivehead Jungle Witch Jankovic (8), Carlo Suarez-Navarro (16) over American Vania King, Anastasia Fattychunkova (29) and Bojana Jovanovski (33). Bratzwanska (5) made it through in 3 sets as did American Varvara Lepchenko. She will join fellow American Christina McHale in the 2nd round.

Was she endorsed by Bic Higlighters or the Las Vegas strip? She is just bright!!

Was Sloane endorsed by Bic Higlighters or the Las Vegas strip? She is just bright even for her own eyes!!

There were no major upsets though some seeded players fell by the way. Kuzi Rex (19) lost in straight sets to Ukrainian Elena Svitolina 3-6 3-6, Sorana Cirstea (21) also lost in straights as Kaia Kanepi (24) got bounced in 3 sets.

Interesting ladies match up for Day 3 Sam Stosur (17) v Tsevtana Pironkova (night session), Sabine Lisicki (15) v Monica Niculescu. Be prepared for pending upsets here. The Serenanator and LiNaLi will also take the court. It is suppose to be another scorching day tomorrow so be prepared for retirements, medical timeouts and possible fainting.

Keeping it chill!

Keeping it chill!

On the Men’s side, Mr. Federer opened his campaign for a 5th Aussie Open title. Maybe it was the heat but I am not liking for Mr. Federer is looking these days. I know Mr. Federer is 32 and that he is not the Mr. Federer of 2005-2009. However, Mr. Federer is playing erratic/senile tennis. Those balls are landing very short in the court. At times there were flashes of brilliance but other times it was just banality of the highest order. Maybe I am being far too harsh as this is my main how. The thing is it that Mr. Federer is struggling against players of no mettle, merit or might. James Duckworth was giving Mr. Federer a run for his money. The Aussie was playing rather well within himself and it was mere luck and happenstance why he did not manage to pickpocket a set from the Swiss. At the very key moments of the match, Duckworth started to play Fuckworth tennis and Mr. Federer just seized his chance. It was not pretty but it passed and Mr. Federer is through to the 2nd round 6-4 6-4 6-2.

I got through the day!! Mr. Federer what's with the pants pattern? They fit nicely though

I got through the day!! Mr. Federer what’s with the pants pattern? They fit nicely though

I don't need to say this but Mr. Federer is sitting all hung. No wonder Mirka is pregnant again. Fed be laying it down

 Mr. Federer is sitting all hung packing his balls in more than his bag. No wonder Mirka is pregnant again. Fed be laying it down

In other news, Duckworth was not the only Aussie man to be sent packing as this major is near douche free when Hewitt and Tomic were ousted in the 1st round. I could not be more ecstatic. Tampomic retired after the 1st set against Divadal (1) with a “groin injury” I want to say something nasty about this matter but it is far too vile even for Realz to repeat. It does not matter to Divadal, he is through to the 2nd round and on his way to his 2nd Aussie Open title.

Yeah I am feeling more douchey than usual. Of course I am going to retire, why waste my time out here. I can be home in time to watch Maria's match.

Yeah I am feeling more douchey than usual. Of course I am going to retire, why waste my time out here. I can be home in time to watch Maria’s match.

However, this was not the best result, Rusty Hewitt lost his match in 5 sets. You know how he loves the heroics and to be screaming Come ONs all over the place. He clashed up against Andreas Seppi (24) my sweet sweet Italian sausage and dropped the first 2 sets 6-7 3-6. It is at this moment when Hewitt often shines and he did not disappoint taking the next two sets 7-5 7-5 and he did so at the latter stages of those sets as both times, Seppi failed to hold serve to go to a tiebreaker. So in 5th set, Seppi returned the favour by breaking Hewitt in the 12th game to take the set and the match. G’day Mate!!! Yes.

Baby Ali is looking ruff and tuff with his Afro puff

Baby Ali is looking ruff and tuff with his Afro puff

Baby Ali (10) went through in straight sets as did Lochness Monster (4) Feliciano FeFe Lopez (26) and Monfils aka Beetlejuice (25). Del Potro Beast Boy (5) won in 4 sets. This is why Del Potro finds difficulty winning another major. He is in the early stages of matches, monkeying around and wasting energy. Why is he in a 4 set battle against Rhyne Williams? Who is Rhyne Williams? Other 4 set winners include Fernando Tabasco Verdasco (31), Milos Raonic (11) and Grigor Dimitrov (22) who is now working with Roger Rasheed former coach of Monfils. I am excited by this news. I hope Grigor produces better results this year. He has a lot of potential. Kei Nishikori (16) is another one of those players who is not efficient at majors. He won a 5 set battle to move through to the 2nd round. Meanwhile, Gilles Simon (18) beat my boo Danny Brands 16-14 in the 5th set to move through to the next round. Young Americans Donald Young and Jock Sock also move through to the 2nd round. Meanwhile, fellow American John Isner had to retire after 2 sets with an aggravated ankle injury.

Nice to see Donald Young winning a major match

Nice to see Donald Young winning a major match

Radek Stepanek aka Shark Boy retired in the 4th set after winning the first 2. I guess he is protecting his body as he has doubles to play. He is the defending US Open doubles champ. Smart man about the money.

Interesting matchups tomorrow for the men.. Sam Querry v Ernst Gulbis and Nikolay Davydenko v Richard Gasquet (9). I looked at the schedule and saw that Matthew Ebden (Aus) will play 28th seed Vasek Pospisil (Can) is in the 2nd match for the night session at the Rod Laver Arena. Ebden is currently ranked 67 in the world. Are they fcuking kidding me? What kinda a bullshit is this? This is like the warmup act closing the show and the main event came on only for sound check. Australian Open better check their nationalism madness at the door. Not even at the US Open will I see a Jock Sock or Donald Young night match UNLESS they are playing one of the big boys! Ain’t nobody have time for this.

Hope you enjoy!!! AND SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT REALZ TENIS FANZ!!

PICTURE SHOW: Treasure Chests!!

Divadal is giving that camera man in the back some action

Divadal is giving that camera man in the back some action

Berdych showing us his pecs

Berdych showing us his pecs

Alejandro Gonzalez of Colombia getting in on the action

Alejandro Gonzalez of Colombia getting in on the action

Kei Nishikori

Kei Nishikori

Fognini

Fognini

Oh Fogging Fognini

Oh Fogging Fognini

Boo can I do that for you??

Boo can I do that for you??

But tennis players have nothing on these guys..

Cullen Jones... I want to be a water droplet right now

Cullen Jones… I want to be a water droplet right now

Ryan Reynolds...Blade Trinity... that's all I got to say...

Ryan Reynolds…Blade Trinity… that’s all I got to say…

 

Australian Open 2014: Day 1

In Alexander Dolgopolov, Andreas Seppi, Angelique Kerber, Australian Open, Bernard Tomic, Daniela Hantuchova, Ekaterina Makarova, Jie Zheng, Juan Monaco, Klara Zakopolova, Laura Robson, Li Na, Marcos Baghdatis, Mikhail Youzhny, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Radek Stepanek, Richard Gasquet, Sabine Lisicki, Sam Stosur, Sara Errani, Serena Williams, Tennis, Tomas Berdych, Tommy Robredo, Tsvetana Pironkova, Venus Williams on January 13, 2014 at 9:15 am
Let me in!! Let me in!!

Let me in!! Let me in!!

Now that Day 1 is over, I do not think that any of the results came as a HUGE surprise. I mean there were upsets and of course disappointments but all in all, the results mostly reflected what has been trending for a while.

On the ladies, side, the Serenanator (1) wasted little time dispatching her Aussie opponent as she in barely an hour, took the match 6-2 6-1. Ashleigh Barty had some good shots here and there but it was not enough to stop the American.

I know you are ready for your opponents ReRe but I am not ready for this outfit! BURN IT!!!

I know you are ready for your opponents ReRe but I am not ready for this outfit! BURN IT!!!

LiNaLi (4) also looked impressive as she dumped her opponent 6-2 6-0. The 9th seed, Kerber had a lil problem with Jarmila Gajdosova but came through in 3 sets 6-3 0-6 6-2. Ivanovic the Terrible (14) came through comfortably in straight sets as did Sabine Lisicki (15) Monica Niculescu, Tsetvana Pironkova, Moaning Mona Barthel, Yanina Wickmayer and Monica Puig. 18th seed Kristen Flipkens took out British Laura Robson 6-3 6-0. Robson needs to get her life together if she wants to make a decent living on the tour and not be another Anne Keothavong. Meanwhile, Robson’s countrywoman Heather Watson also lost though she made her match a bit more competitive v Daniela Hanthucova (31) 5-7 6-3 3-6.

LiNaLi showing off that sliced backhand

LiNaLi showing off that sliced backhand

Some interesting results on the ladies side…. Well first off you know I am smarting because Venus Williams set me up again!! I can’t with this woman. She was bossing Ekaterina Makarova (22) around for a set and a half 6-2 4-4 but all of sudden, Venus double faulted 3 times in a row to hand the game and basically the set to Makarova. In the 3rd set, Venus was up 3-0! Then she lost the next 6 of 7 games. I was beside myself. She was playing so well. The groundstrokes were popping and she was moving forward. However, she just decided to hurt my feelings and mess up my entire evening. Makarova moves to the 2nd round having taken out another Williams Sister 2-6 6-4 6-4.

Venus angst!!!

Venus angst!!!

Makarova is making it a habit of taking out Williams in Australia

Makarova is making it a habit of taking out Williamses in Australia

There were several other interesting results: Like I said of Petra Kvitova, she is going into fast decline and that showed up in her lost to Luksika Kimkhum (I wish I were making up this name). Kvitova (6) got bounced 2-6 6-1 6-4 to some unknown Thai player. She was not the only top seed to said bye bye to Melbourne, the doubles team of Roberta Vinci (12) and Sara Errani (7) were both dismissed from the singles event. Vinci going down in straights to former semifinalist Jie Zheng and Errani leaving thanks to Julia Goerges.

Wearing pepto bismal pink, playing like diarrhea, game and ranking slipping and dating Stepanek. Yes, Stepanek curse in full effect

Wearing pepto bismal pink, playing like diarrhea, game and ranking slipping and dating Stepanek. Yes, Stepanek curse in full effect

I see boobs but I am not sure... this is very feMALE indeed

I see boobs but I am not sure… this is very feMALE indeed

Of course I was very excited when I saw the draw and it was Kvitova I was playing. She is still dating Stepanek right? So I knew I had more than a shot! I had a winning shot

Of course I was very excited when I saw the draw and it was Kvitova I was playing. She is still dating Stepanek right? So I knew I had more than a shot! I had a winning shot

I should also mention that Stosur avenged her recent lost to Klara Zakopalova by beating her in straight sets 6-3 6-4. Also Granny Goodness Date-Krumm lost to perhaps the youngest girl in the field Belinda Bencic of Switzerland in straight sets.

Thank you very much for coming. Nice warm up

Thank you very much for coming. Nice warm up

On the men’s side, things were more routine. Ferrer (3) and Djoker Harlequeen (2) wasted no time getting rid of their opponents in straight sets. There is no point in sticking around on court for more time than you need to. Stan Wawrinka (8) got even less time when his opponent reitred in the 2nd set. Fabio Fognini (15) also benefitted from a retirement when Alex Bogomolov went out injured. Bershite (7) also is through in straight sets as well as Richard Gasquet (9), Mikhail Youzhny (14), Jeremy Chardy (29) and Dmitri Tursanov (30).

Oh wait she is not one of the guys...

Oh wait she is not one of the guys…

Jerzy Janowicz (20) perhaps love work because he was out there for 5 sets for no apparent reason but he is through to the 2nd round. Other 5 set winners include Tommy Robredo (17), Kevin Anderson (19) Julian Benneteau and Nikolay Davydenko.

Glittering Gulbis

Glittering Gulbis

Munchable Monaco

Munchable Monaco

23rd seed Ernest Gulbis beat Juan Monaco in 4 sets. This is a sad result because they are both such PHYNE specimen but Monaco has not been so well since the break up with a certain top Diva. That Gulbis is even seeded and Monaco is not, shows how much the Argentine is hurting from that dismissal. Marcos Baghdatis, known for his on court heroics, had a major fail in front of this very Cypriot crowd when Uzbekistani Denis Istomin knocked him out in straight sets and did so in fine style. Ivan Dodig (32) knocked out monster server Ivo Karlovic in straight sets also.

Divadal was only fcuking with your head. You know that. Realz loves you not Divadal!

Divadal was only fcuking with your head. You know that. Realz loves you not Divadal!

Tomorrow, both bottom halves will be playing and we are set to see Divadal, Mr. Federer, Lochness Monster, Baby Ali, Beetlejuice, Vickie, Fivehead Jungle Witch, Bratzwanska and Shriekapova all on court.

Let us take a break and just watch

Let us take a break and just watch

Don’t forget to spread the word about REALZTENISFANZ!!!

Venus I do not even know what to say about this head!!! ratchet!!

Venus I do not even know what to say about this head!!! ratchet!!

Robson you look like someone's runaway bridesmaid. WTF is this dress about??

Robson you look like someone’s runaway bridesmaid. WTF is this dress about??

I need to get me a sip of Andreas Seppi indeed

I need to get me a sip of Andreas Seppi indeed

Oh Patty Rafter... you're turning into Fatty Rafter these days

Oh Patty Rafter… you’re turning into Fatty Rafter these days

Spanish Armada!!... At least part of the fleet

Spanish Armada!!… At least part of the fleet

I am best amongst my fellow menz

I am best amongst my fellow menz

Did someone fart?? I am smelling shite....Oh Hey Tomic.....

Did someone fart?? I am smelling shite….Oh Hey Tomic…..

So you gonna come by my room later right. I will leave the door open

So you gonna come by my room later right. I will leave the door open

Mister, I can see your penis and that's not okay at this time

Mister, I can see your penis and that’s not okay at this time

They say I was going to get groupies but I didn't want these old bitches..

They say I was going to get groupies but I didn’t want these old bitches..

Australian Open 2014

In Agnes Radwanska, Ana Ivanovic, Andy Murray, Angelique Kerber, Australian Open, Bernard Tomic, Carla Suarez Narravo, Daniela Hantuchova, David Ferrer, Ekaterina Makarova, Feliciano Lopez, Gael Monfils, Gilles Simon, Jelena Jankovic, Jerzy Janowicz, Jie Zheng, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, John Isner, Juan Martin Del Potro, Li Na, Lleyton Hewitt, Marcos Baghdatis, Mikhail Youzhny, Na Li, Novak Djokovic, Petra Kvitova, Radek Stepanek, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Sabine Lisicki, Serena Williams, Slaone Stephens, Stanislas Wawrinka, Tennis, Tomas Berdych, Tommy Haas, Urszula Radwanska, Venus Williams on January 12, 2014 at 11:01 pm

Australian Open 2014 trophy

Every major, when I’m trying to rearrange my life to get in as much tennis in as possible, I always contemplate whether to post a preview bit. Now mind you, all the major publications do so in an effort to drum up some interest and frankly so that they can talk. However, with the current state of both the men and women’s tours, matters have long been decided. For the past three years now, it’s been the same gang at the top. There’s nothing new to say. I am sure the same notes from the preview to the French, Wimbledon and the US Open 2012 and 2013 will apply for this Australian Open 2014. I dare someone to say otherwise.

However, I figured that RealzTenisFanz cannot be so far out of the main stream though we are hardly the type of prestigious publication to follow trends blindly. Nonetheless, I figured why not revive the blog for 2014 with a lil something for the Fanz.

From Realz!!

From Realz!!

While we are on this subject Fanz, I think 2014 will see us going on quite a bit so I want to thank you all for your continued support. Happy New Tennis Year ! I know many of you are dying to tell about your Christmas and New Years affairs. However, we aren’t here for that. We will get into personal gossips later on. Furthermore, our lives aren’t nearly as interesting as the pro players so we will ignore our mundane madness for the sake of their more scintillating sagas.

So let us have the realz score on this one now

So let us have the realz score on this one now

But let us not digress…. Wait, I’m not sure if I actually confirmed this but I regret to inform you that it’s really true that Petra Kvitova and Radek Stepanek are in fact a couple. I don’t think my brain has fully grasp this ugly concept. In fact whenever I think of them as a couple, my mind’s defense system kicks in and automatically blurs Shark Boy’s face.

Homewrecker??? Nicole and Radek on their wedding day. Right, Petra in her version of a black dress

Homewrecker??? Nicole and Radek on their wedding day. Right, Petra in her version of a black dress

PeekaBoos!!

PeekaBoos!!

Can’t deal with that much beastliness in one thought. I know people will label Petra a homewrecker seeing as Shark Boy is still married to former top ten Nicole Vaidisova. However, in my humble opinion, it was a hideous home. It ain’t for looks or charms so it has to be he drops his shorts and you silly school of girls just lose your bloody minds as well as your panties.

Wait what do you mean I have to share you??

Wait what do you mean I have to share you??

This was Petra's old boo but she don't want no small fry anymore... she's looking for big fish

This was Petra’s old boo but she don’t want no small fry anymore… she’s looking for big fish

So Nickie girl, you get yourself some new dick though I am guessing that Shark Boy is hung like a sperm whale because too many decent looking girls are getting bitten by this predator. I bet he be munching on their seabed like it the last plankton in all of the Red Sea. Sushi is on the menu girls and you are the catch of the day! Ladies I advised you all to invest in a decent toy and if not get yourself a good “buddy” with ironclad contractual terms, safe play because no one deserves to be caught up in the cult that is Radek Stepanek. He’ll kill your joy and your career. Ask Martina Hingis and Nicole. At this point in Petra’s career, she doesn’t know where she’s going but most certainly sure that she’s coming and coming very regular. So I guess I should be happy for her?

And she found it with Shark Boy

And she found it with Shark Boy

To the real tennis newz :

Divadal before his make up!

Divadal before his make up!

On the men’s side, the number one seed, Rafael Nadal aka Lord Clay aka Divadal aka Lord Clay and hardcourt Divadal (She lost only two clay court matches last year and didn’t lose on hardcourt whilst picking up his 8th French Open title and 2nd US Open crown), has a draw of death. It’s just traps all over the place. First off he has to deal with Bernard Tampomic and frankly I know the Spanish Diva is going to handle this mess in 3 straight kleenex sets but no one wants to deal with the Aussie crowds fully supporting their man and the added misfortunes of having to endure Bernard’s on court bullshit. You know this latent case is going to be showing her dirty knickers all over the place when those Divadal forehands be coming from all corners of the court. It’s going to be a mess I’m sure of it.

Yeah I am a douche... so what?? Am I the biggest douche down under?? Hmmm

Yeah I am a douche… so what?? Am I the biggest douche down under?? Hmmm

No I am the biggest douche down under

No I am the biggest douche down under

What’s even worst for the number one seed is that he has to deal with not one Aussie Asshole but two; Lleyton Hewitt is also on this section. Hewitt’s career got a resurrection of sorts when he beat Mr. Federer in Brisbane last week in 3 sets. So look out this possible 4th round clash.

I am ready for all these douche bags. Bring them on!!

I am ready for all these douche bags. Bring them on!!

Wait did you say Xisca is coming on court?? I need to get out of her.

Wait did you say Xisca is coming on court?? I need to get out of her.

Beetlejuice is lurking for Divadal in this section for a possible 3rd round match up that’s if Beetlejuice shows up in Melbourne to play tennis and not to pay clown.  Divadal has to also contend with Beast Boy who is definitely poised this year to make some real major noise again. Del Potro wants another major and he will get it soon enough in my humble and often awesome opinion. But all in all its unlikely he is losing early unless Rosol and Darcis had a baby together.

I don't know which Beetlejuice will show up

I don’t know which Beetlejuice will show up

Ahh the maladies of Murray have already begun and he hasn't even played a match yet

Ahh the maladies of Murray have already begun and he hasn’t even played a match yet

On the other side of the top half is Lochness Monster who has had a rather dismal year since winning Wimbledon last year. This creature might be stumbling since his magical 2012. Murray has been featured in three Aussie Open finals now I think and winning a total of 1 set of the ten that he played. I’m sure he thinks that the 4th time is the charm. However you know this is of no concern to me because Mr. Federer (6) is in this quarter and that’s my main man. However, Mr. Federer has two French men in his realm, Baby Ali et Chicken leg Simon. They both come lethal and with historic wins over the greatest thing since slice in my tennis world.

I don't know what is going on with me anymore

I don’t know what is going on with me anymore. I am going senile on the tennis courts it seems.

The Scotsman has to deal with the likes of BFG John Isner and Chin Cilic. This is just tough half all over. Just potential problems all over the place for everyone. No match is an easy round.

Despite all this, I think Divadal is coming through this half. Mr Federer might get to the semis but he doesn’t have the stamina to deal with the hard court beast that is Divadal plus Mr. Federer has far more pressing issues before he gets to semis…. And that’s if he even gets there. My man is no longer a safe bet especially as the 6th seed. He’s working with Stefan Edberg but I’m not sure this will help. Federer needs a nutritionist to help him gain muscle mass. No Bueno! I almost forgot the gossip, Mirka is pregnant again. I couldn’t really tell because she always look with child. However, Mr. Federer made the announcement on Facebook and I have to take his word for it on these matters.

Mommy and granny holding the girls... possibly brother(s) on the way??

Mommy and granny holding the girls… possibly brother(s) on the way??

David Ferrer’s quarter…. Is this even a legitimate expression? However the numbers don’t lie, he’s the 3rd ranked player and gets his own section. However this prize hasn’t brought him much gifts because he has to deal with a lot of bigger men, Tommy Haas Mikhail Youzhny, Tomasz Berdshite and Jerzy Janowicz. It’s going to be tough and of course he has the 3 time defending champion Djoker Harlequeen on his side.

I am gonna be passing out some chocolate because I have a sweet sweet draw

I am gonna be passing out some chocolate because I have a sweet sweet draw

Now I have seen easy bake oven draws in the past but I think this quarter for Novak is a new model where we might as well had just give Novak byes all the way to the finals or at least the semis to make it interesting. There’s no one in this section to trouble the man. No one! Ernst Gulbis? Richard Gasquet? Marcos Baghdatis? Ain’t he married? This must be sketch comedy because I know Djoker is laughing his ass off. The only possible hiccup is Stan Wawrinka and we all know how messy this girl can be. She got handled at the US Open and that must still be hurting.

Anyway, I think Divadal and Djoker are the two contenders here though I do not look forward to a possible finals between these two as I would like to not waste 7 hours of my life with these two for one of them to finally take the title.

It is just me, myself and I out there. No one comes close to me.

It is just me, myself and I out there. No one comes close to me.

On the ladies’ draw I mean what more can one say other than the Serenantor (1) is here to win this title and try yet again for the one thing that her career does not have: a true Grand Slam. She is going for it this year full steam ahead. She is not going to let herself be deterred. Every year since 2010 she is becoming more and more mentally focused and her hard work is paying off. Since that ugly defeat in 2012 at the French Open, she has been looking stupendous. Her shots are cleaner, crisper and she is staying in shape. No one has seen this kinda of focus from Serena for a long time…if not ever. It seems that everything is looking up for her now. However, we all know it is at these times when she looks unstoppable, she then lets her bad self get in the way and implodes on court. Hopefully, this sorta thing is not going to happen because I think Serena has worked hard enough and deserves the calender slam. I would also really like to see her in the 20s with major titles. She is really that good of a player!!

Yeah you forgot about me??

Yeah you forgot about me??

Yeah there are competitors to consider, Vickie (2), Maria (3) and LiNaLi (4) but do they even stand a chance? I mean Vickie is the ONLY one who does not get routine bagels and/or breadsticks from the American. Vickie can play the Serenanator but when it comes to the final stages of the match where fitness is a factor, Serena has her younger adversary beat. Maria simply does not possess the skill set to deal with Serena. I don’t think she ever will. And also her biggest problem is trying to stay positive throughout the match. It is very difficult to do as she is constantly trying to figure out what kinda diet is Serena working on that day. Is she carb counting and thus handing out bagels and breadsticks sets or is she on a gluten free diet and feels more generous in allowing an extra game here or there. Look at any of the matches these two play. Serena is almost breaking Maria at will and dispensing baked goods to the Russian like a Pillsbury. However, I would admit that last match a week ago, Maria got to a tiebreaker. However, I think Serena was just trying to be generous..Happy New Year’s Gurl….Here’s a Christmas gift; a respectable scoreline.

Now why you had to go bring up my record against the Serenanator again for?

Now why you had to go bring up my record against the Serenanator again for?

Anyway these two can only meet in the finals. Maria and Vickie are on the same half (bottom) of the draw and Serena has to contend with LiNaLi on her half (top). Will be interesting to see what the new year brings for Li and her Cheating Coach Carlos. Serena’s quarter is rather tricky as she has some ticklish players lurking about like Tsetvana Pironkova who just won her first WTA title beating Petra Kvitova GHW (she had penis on the brain) along the way. There is also the huge serving Eugenie Bouchard (30) of Canada, tenacious Jie Zheng, Ana Ivanovic (14) the Terrible and also Sara Errani (7) but really and truly we are not exactly counting her in the mix. Serena eats Sara for a light snack. There is also local home hopeful Sam Stosur who has beaten the American twice at the majors in key matches. However, Sam does not have a great record in her home country but she won several matches this past week so this might be a turn around for her.

Do we know which LiNaLi will be on court or will Carlos continue to signal to her telling her know who she should be?

Do we know which LiNaLi will be on court or will Carlos continue to signal to her telling her know who she should be?

LiNaLi (4) also has a tricky set of client with GHW Kvitova (6) aka Mistress Stepanek, Sabine Lisicki (15) who it seems is now working with Martina Hingis (I don’t know why this woman just won’t go away and stay there. Can’t she find more men to beat up? She really does not contribute much to game at this time. She is fighting so hard to be relevant but she barely has a point except on pencil. And she should just erase herself with the other end. She was a great student of the game but hardly is she selfless enough to be a decent teacher.) Carebear Kerber (9) is also around in these parts. I almost forgot to mention that resident veteran Venus Williams is also on board at this Open. She will open her campaign against crazy lefty Ekaterina Makarova (22) who has been known as a very dangerous floater. She has some good scalps in her career including Serena and 5th seed here Radwanska. So Makarova is not to be dismissed lightly.

You don't worry about my draw and/or drawers okay. Just how I like it... easy, breezy

You don’t worry about my draw and/or drawers okay. Just how I like it… easy, breezy

Sometimes when I look at Maria’s draw at majors, I often wonder if the committees are confused about the concept of “draw” It might be that they are thinking more “drawers” than “draw” because Maria always getting some easy sexy cute draws. There is absolutely no one of consequence in her section of the draw. Not one. You know who Maria is opening up against, Bethanie Mattek-Sands and one noted sports writer claimed Carlo Suarez-Navarro is the dark horse pick and figured she will get to the semis. I think he means, she is going to buy a ticket to watch the match. Most certainly she is not going to be winning 5 singles matches and earn her place. I mean seriously now? Dark Horse pick… This is more likely a Black Unicorn pick. So because of this it means that Jelena Jankovic aka Fivehead Jungle Witch (8) v Maria really going to be the big matchup of this section. I would rather vomit.

I hope you all didn't forget about me now

I hope you all didn’t forget about me now

Vickie has a relatively okay section with several of her favourite punching bags Slaone Stephens (13), Danish Biscuit Wozniacki (10) and off course her best pigeon Agniezska Radwanska (5). Vickie couldn’t ask for a better route to the semis.

All in all I don’t think she is retaining her title this year. This is the Serenanator’s title for the taking.

FASHION FORWARD???

Serena gurl, you need to better cage that tiger of yours... I can see claws coming out...

Serena gurl, you need to better cage that tiger of yours… I can see claws coming out…

Vee gurl... WTF with that weave...We need to hook you up....that front is a hotmess

Vee gurl… WTF with that weave…We need to hook you up….that front is a hotmess

Apparently LiNaLi moonlights as a clown after hours.

Apparently LiNaLi moonlights as a clown after hours.

It is not great but it is not bad and for Maria, this is all good

It is not great but it is not bad and for Maria, this is all good

This is very good from Sabine

This is very good from Sabine

Who knew the German was also a succubus?

Who knew the German was also a succubus?

Daniela showing all the itches how you step it up! Gorgeous! Giving them Farrah Fawcett hair tease realness!!! YES M'AM

Daniela showing all the itches how you step it up! Gorgeous! Giving them Farrah Fawcett hair tease realness!!! YES M’AM

Apparently, men and women went to different functions because David look like he just got off from practice. UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Apparently, men and women went to different functions because David look like he just got off from practice. UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Even with ugly New Balances, the ratty t-shirt and the buzz cut, this Spanish flame is still burning hot

Even with ugly New Balances, the ratty t-shirt and the buzz cut, this Spanish flame is still burning hot

2013 in review

In Uncategorized on January 5, 2014 at 1:44 pm

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 16,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.