Realz

Wimbledon 2014 Preview I: The Men’s Draw

In Alexander Dolgopolov, Andreas Seppi, Andy Murray, David Ferrer, David Goffin, Dustin Brown, Feliciano Lopez, Fernando Verdasco, Gael Monfils, Grigor Dimitrov, Jerzy Janowicz, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, John Isner, Kei Nishikori, Lleyton Hewitt, Lukas Rosol, Mikhail Youzhny, Milos Raonic, Novak Djokovic, Radek Stepanek, Rafael Nadal, Richard Gasquet, Roger Federer, Tomas Berdych, Tommy Robredo, Wimbledon on June 22, 2014 at 4:19 pm
You know Realz always ignore the rules

You know Realz always ignore the rules

So RealzTenisFanz is finally back on the blogosphere. Currently I am “enjoying” this unemployment status. (Won’t someone hire me and pay me good money?) It is just a brutal affair right now. I might have to start turning tricks and sad to say, I am not a kid. Anyway, let me apologize for not making a single entry for the French Open 2014. I had intentions to do so the entire time. However, I ended up being extremely busy with another gig http://www.ubitennis.com/english/author/hackshaw/ Feel free to comment there also as well as here. Now this Hackshaw dude is a lot different from Realz in that he is not as haterrific but I guess one has to be versatile in order to make it to the top or in my case, stay at the bottom.

There not one thing about this picture that makes me happy! Nada! Rien! Nyet!

There not one thing about this picture that makes me happy! Nada! Rien! Nyet! “Hey gurl ReRe, we miss you!” Meanwhile, man in the middle: “That look when you trying to touch the pretty lady’s ass and the man on the other side reaching for yours”

Anywho I am digressing. What can I say about the 2014 French Open? I mean Divadal won his 9th title and 5th in a row and Shriekapova won her 2nd. Now you think I was a happy camper? Nope not in the least! It was as horrid as back in 2012 when there was a similar result.  So here we are 3 weeks later at Wimbledon. By the way, there is talk that next year, there would be a longer grass court season. That would be interesting because as it stands now, there are about 7 tournaments between the men and women (4 for men and 3 for women) and they are mostly going on simultaneously. I think they can do better than this for sure. Most of the top players skipped them and those who showed up with the exception of Mr. Federer, they all lost early.

The Wimbledon Trophies

The Wimbledon Trophies

So let us discuss the draw. On the men’s side, Wimbledon committee chose to this year play around with the seedings for the men. Presumably this was to deal with Andy Murray’s 5th place ranking. He is the defending champion so the Wimbledon feels that if he is outside of the top 4, he is likely to get into trouble. I mean he lost to Radek Stepanek at Queen’s Club in the 3rd round. I don’t know who they think they’re protecting because at Wimbledon, the trouble comes not from the “big boys” but from the scrubs lurking about the place. Anyway, Wimbledon did some hocus pocus Hogwarthian magic with the ranking not just for Lochness Monster but for some other players. I have highlighted the crazy “fixing” by the All-England Club. Do note that Juan Martin Del-Potro aka Beast Boy who is ranked 8th in the world and 27th ranked Nicolas Almagro are not playing so that means everyone below them should only move up one spot. However, Wimbledon School of Magical Farts and Wigotry worked with a “New Math” principles in mind. There are so much to say on the subject but I can’t right now… I am trying to finish this and go for a run…I have to tell you people that the two weeks of major tournament be messing up my gym/run/sleep schedule. I cannot deal. This is summer time and I cannot be gaining weight…. No one is checking for bears these days and Bears are only the interest of Goldilocks if you know what I mean. Anyway, though this seeding business is bullshit, it hardly matters. It is very unlikely that someone other than Djoker, Divadal, Mr. Federer or Lochness Monster will be in the final to take the crown. However, on a matter of principle, it is not okay. Those players who got shafted worked really hard for their rankings and then Wimbledon decides that they are not worthy of it. Meanwhile, the women stayed the same!

Professor Wiggle Wimbledon mucking around with the men's seeds

Professor Wiggle Wimbledon mucking around with the men’s seeds. Changopresto!

Player Wimbledon Seed Actual Ranking
Djoker (Novak Djokovic) 1 2
Divadal (Rafael Nadal) 2 1
Lochness Monster (Andy Murray) 3 5
Mr. Federer (Roger Federer) 4 4
Stan the Man (Stan Wawrinka) 5 3
Berdshite/Lurch (Tomas Berdych) 6 6
Fake Fire Ferrer (David Ferrer) 7 7
Dennis the Menace (Milos Raonic) 8 9
Big Friendly Giant aka BFG (John Isner) 9 11
Kei Nishikori 10 12
Sharapova’s Bulgarian clutch (Grigor Dimitrov) 11 13
Ernests Gulbis 12 10
Richard Gasquet 13 14
Baby Ali (Jo-Wilfried Tsonga) 14 17
Jerzy Janowicz 15 24
Mr. Piggy (Fabio Fognini) 16 15
Mikhail Youzhny 17 16
Tabasco Verdasco (Fernando Verdasco) 18 23
FeFe Lopez (Feliciano Lopez) 19 25
Kevin Anderson 20 18
BWLLAGWLLAB (Alexandr Dolgopolov) 21 19
Philipp Kohlschreiber 22 27
Tommy Robredo 23 22
Beetlejuice (Gael Monfils) 24 21
Andreas Seppi 25 34
Chin Cilic (Marin Cilic) 26 29
Roberto Bautista Agut 27 28
Guillermo Garcia-Lopez 28 31
Ivo Karlovic 29 33
Marcel Granollers 30 30
Vasek Pospisil 31 35
Dmitry Tursunov 32 32

I am going to divide the men’s draw into halves and then quarters. I will discuss the players in each section, labelling each section based on the top seeds. I will highlight the various potential matchups and key matches to watch. I am not making predictions because you know how that goes. All I can say as always, I want Mr. Federer to win. That will never change.

TOP HALF

Quarter 1: Djoker (1) v Berdshite (6)

Djoker is looking for another Wimbledon crown

Djoker is looking for another Wimbledon crown

Djoker (2011 Champion) opens his campaign for a 2nd Wimbledon crown against Andrey Golubev. He has a potential 2nd round match up against Shark Boy Stepanek. However, knowing how Shark Boy loves to play 5 set matches in majors, Djoker will be fresh and ready to crush him.  There is also a potential class between Djoker and Mikhail Youzhny (17) and Baby Ali (14) in the Round of 16. Now we all remember that beat down Baby Ali got recently in Paris by the hands of Djoker. I am sure Baby Ali would be looking for revenge. I am not sure how much he would be able to exact because Djoker is hungry to win a major this year. He has come up short twice already and he is not feeling that at all.

Baby Ali has a winning smile but that will not help him at the All-England Club

Baby Ali has a winning smile but that will not help him at the All-England Club

On the other side of this quarter lies Berdshite who has made the final here in 2010. He has all the attributes to be an excellent grass court player other than the fact that he is a Neanderthal’s brain. Berdshite has to get pass Marin Chin Cilic (26) in the 3rd round and then face in the Round of 16 the winner of the Ernests Gulbis (12) v Tabasco Verdasco (18) 3rd round match. There was some HUGE HITTERS in this section of the draw. Would be very interesting to see what happens here.

Quarter 2: Lochness Monster (3) v Fake Fiery Ferrer (7)
Lochness Monster is the defending champion and he comes into this Wimbledon with a female coach, 2006 champion Amelie Mauresmo. This is a huge headline in and of itself. I must admit that initial when this talk of their partnership was a rumour, I did not think it would happen. However, when it was in fact finalized, I really have no issue with it. I mean a coach is someone telling you what to do. It is not like the coach needs to be of a specific gender or of a certain calibre former player. I know a lot of guys have a lot of bullshit to say. However, I think this is a good partnership and more than likely Amelie will stop Lochness Monster from giving those monster faces all the time on court. He will be force to act more like an adult than a sullen child. Anyway, he has a really easy draw. He got a scrub, David Goffin in the 1st round and then possible a Spaniard clay court specialist though he just won a grass court tournament in Holland, Roberto Bautista-Agut (27) in the 3rd round or Mr. Piggy, Fabio Fognini (16) or Kevin Anderson (20) in the 4th round. I do not know when is Lochness Monster’s birthday but he can consider this a birthday/Christmas gift all rolled up in one.

Lochness Monster is giving me FACE!!

Lochness Monster is giving me FACE!!

Now listen to me, you have to play the one-handed slice backhand... Can you do that for me?

Now listen to me, you have to play the one-handed slice backhand… Can you do that for me? It worked against Henin.

On the other end is Grigor Dimitrov (11) aka Shriekapova’s Bulgarian handbag who opens against American Ryan Harrison. Rising star, Austria’s Dominic Thiem aka Steam Thiem is a potential 2nd round opponent for the clutch purse. This should be a good match up but I think Grigor will come through. It would be a very good looking match nonetheless. I think Ferrer who is on the bottom of this section should come through for at least the Round of 16. There is a matchup of some interest here when Dustin Brown who inexplicably defeated Divadal in Halle couple of weeks ago. “Dreddy Tennis” as he calls himself, will play against Marcos Fatdatis in the 1st round. I would like to see how this one turns out.

BOTTOM HALF

Quarter 3: Mr. Federer (4) v Stan the Man (5)

Wimbledon+Championships+Previews+5lvXnD-Wf0tl

Live Fast? Just don’t die quick out there. Last year you punked out in the 2nd round much to my horror. I can’t deal with these kinda dismal results at all this year

Live Fast? Just don't die quick out there. Last year you punked out in the 2nd round much to my horror. I can't deal with these kinda dismal results at all this year

Hopefully that is a rising sun and not a setting one… Because your career seems to be near dusk right about now

Mr. Federer (4) the 7th time champion is looking for his 8th title here. He faces a bothersome Frenchman Julien Benneteau in the 2nd round and then possibly Dingo Dog Hewitt or 2013 semifinalist Jerzy Janowicz (15) or Tommy Robredo (23) in the 4th round. Stan the Man (5) has not done well on grass here but still he deserves his ranking of 3 in the world. Anyway, he will have a tough time getting out of this part of the draw. Not only is Mr. Federer a possible quarterfinal opponent but he could face either Denis Istomin or Dmitry Tursunov (32) in the 3rd round and then Alejandro Falla and FeFe Lopez (19) in the 4th round. A good match that might be featured is FeFe Lopez v BFG Isner (9). However, Isner is not known for his grass court prowess. I mean he has never got past the 2nd round EVER here at Wimbledon. So Lopez might be able to sneak into the quarters.

Stan the Man at least the back of him gossiping with Maria's clutch, Grigor

Stan the Man at least the back of him gossiping with Maria’s clutch, Grigor

Quarter 4: Divadal (2) v Dennis the Menace Raonic (8)
Dennis the Menace should make the quarters here though it would be a nice matchup between him and Kei Nishikori (10) in the Round of 16. There is also the match of Philipp Kohlschreiber (22) v Nishikori in the 3rd round that should be worthy of attention.

Kei gurl... oh no... this is not acceptable. Here I thought you were cute until you smiled. No no no... I'm gonna need you to do better! Definitely, you looking like Charley Horse with that smile

Kei gurl… oh no… this is not acceptable. Here I thought you were cute until you smiled. No no no… I’m gonna need you to do better! Definitely, you looking like Charley Horse with that smile

Dennis the Menace is thinking about doing some damage here at Wimbledon with that lethal 1st serve!

Dennis the Menace is thinking about doing some damage here at Wimbledon with that lethal 1st serve!

Now a lot of people have picked Divadal to win the title. I am not sure why considering his recent record on grass. However, this is Divadal and you know how he and his “magical body” do operate. So he really stands a good chance to win. Anyway, he may have to deal with Lukas Rosol again in the 2nd round and possibly Ivo Karlovic (29) in the 3rd round. If he can get past that, there is the fickle Frenchmen of Richard Gasquet (13) and Beetlejuice (24) in the Round of 16. A lot of people feel that this is a “Draw of Death” of Divadal but seriously, this is Divadal we are talking about. I hope he loses but I do not expect that to happen at all. He has the potential of really extending his lead as the number one player since he won no points here last year when he was defeated in the 1st round by Steve Darcis. Djoker on the other hand got to the final.

Divadal getting his Wimbledon practice in

Divadal getting his Wimbledon practice in

However, before he got to Wimbledon on his boat relaxing with "friend". I don't see Xisca there about. My eyes aren't that good. Let me know if you see her.

However, before he got to Wimbledon on his boat relaxing with “friend”. I don’t see Xisca there about. My eyes aren’t that good. Let me know if you see her. “Realz I know you send these paparazzi for me! Leave me alone!!”

This is from last year around this time

This is from last year around this time

Another recent vacay... Gurl let me rub some oil on your back.

Another recent vacay… Gurl let me rub some oil on your back.

Who knew Divadal like them "thickems" Apparently not only Goldilocks checking for bears and cubs

Who knew Divadal like them “thickems” Apparently not only Goldilocks checking for bears and cubs

Mr. Federer getting a nice send off from being the President of the Player's Council! He got babies at home to take care oh. He ain't got no time for politics.

Mr. Federer getting a nice send off from being the President of the Player’s Council! He got babies at home to take care oh. He ain’t got no time for politics. Those shoes Mr. Federer is wearing, Loro Piana. And those “simple loafers” cost at least $800USD. I wonder if he wants to adopt me

I mean look at this line up.. I mean where do I begin... or should I say who do I begin with?

I mean look at this line up.. I mean where do I begin… or should I say who do I begin with? We can leave off Anderson (in the flip flops). Have to be a very drunk night.

I think I am hurt myself

I think I am hurt myself

Yeah I can see that right there on your ankle. You might want to get up and get some help. We're busy out here right now..

Yeah I can see that right there on your ankle. You might want to get up and get some help. We’re busy out here right now..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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