Realz

French Open 2015 Day 3: Bouchard Bounced and Grigor is Gone

In French Open, Grand Slam on May 28, 2015 at 4:15 pm
Y'all know I am all about the struggle on the tennis courts!

Y’all know I am all about the struggle on the tennis courts! My name is Petra and if it ain’t grass, I’m playing the ass 

Well on things were as I predicted for this tournament, a HOT MESS. Absolutely no surprise some of this mess is coming from Petra Kvitova (4). Kvitova found herself up against Marina Erakovic who is capable of being a decent player but you know how these wenches usually are; mucking about in the trenches, not interested in winning but seemed more keen on the players’ parties than the tennis. Anyway, Erakovic was playing some solid tennis. Petra just barely got out of the 1st set 6-4 and in the 2nd set, Erakovic took it 6-3. In the 3rd set, it was a virtual tossup as Petra was sucking and swinging as only she can. One might a stupendous winner and then next a stupid error. She is lucky that Erakovic was not someone a little more experienced because she would have had to bid “Adieu” to this event. She got through 6-4 3-6 6-4.

Serenanator looks poised and ready to get her 3rd French Open title

Serenanator looks poised and ready to get her 3rd French Open title

Serena (1) and her bff Caroline Wozniacki (5) both moved through comfortably to the next round. Serena took out Andrea Hlavackova 6-2 6-3. She looked clean and very efficient on court. There were no careless errors and she was very deliberate about her actions. This was far better than her 1st round effort last year when she committed near 40+ errors and won I think 6-1 6-2. It was a mess. Anyway, Woz had a lil hiccup with Karin Knapp in the beginning of the match but calm that potential storm with a 6-3 6-0 scoreline. It might be that Knapp was exhausted having just won Nuremberg last Saturday because it is as though she fell asleep in that match. But ain’t nobody got time for that here in Paris.

Knapp was such a mess

Knapp was such a mess

Sveta Kuzi (18) a darkhorse pick to take this tournament, which she won back in 2009, found herself in a spot of bother as she was battling it out with the likes of Kiki Bertens. See this is why Kuzi is not being featured in major events. She got past KiKi though in 3 sets 6-1 4-6 6-2. She will face another former French Open champion Francesca Schiavone who had fight hard to get to the 2nd round against Qiang Wang 3-6 6-3 6-4.

Kuzi might be lifting a 2nd Roland Garros trophy

Kuzi might be lifting a 2nd Roland Garros trophy

Other winners include Andrea Petkovic (10), Madison Keys (16), Timea Bacsinszky and Zarina Diyas (32). Julia Goerges also won over American Coco Vandeweghe as did Belinda Bencic over Daniela Hantuchova. Americans were not so lucky as both Christina McHale and Taylor Townsend were bounced from the tournament. I need not tell you that McHale was in a winning position but then decided that it might be prudent to be McFail and throw away the match. You know how Christina can be; almost allergic to winning.

Marina gurl this is just not a cute look at all for you!!

Marina gurl this is just not a cute look at all for you!!

Madison, you should be making this face ever ...

Madison, you should be making this face ever ...

Now I know I might cause a bit of controversy here but Taylor is putting on back the weight that she lost recently. She is coming off an injury and it near looked as though she sat around all day and eat. Really I am not even kidding you. She has decided to go back to her old coach, Donald Young’s father and I really wish that she did not. It is clear that the Youngs are amazing junior coaches and this is where they should stick to. However, they have no not even the slightest propensity to be able to help a player manage and map out a career on the professional level. I daresay that this is a “retarded” move on the part of Taylor. I know she feels that she needs to be comfortable but it is clear that she cannot bear the weight of comfort. She needs near hardcore discipline and quite frankly, she needs to drop that weight.

This is Taylor last year August

This is Taylor last year August

Here she is May 2015

Here she is May 2015

And again

And again

And again

And again

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But moving on. Irina Falconi made it through to the 2nd round which is good because I hardly hear of her as of late. The big news of the day were the dismissal of Genie Bouchard (6) and Jelena Jankovic (25). Now really and truly I hardly see these matches as upsets as no one really expected either of these players were really expected to do much at this tournament. In fact, no one is really expecting them to do anything for the rest of the year. Anyway, Bouchard faced Kristina Mladenovic. Mladenovic had the home crowd behind her and she pressed this advantage as she took the opening set 6-4. In the 2nd set, she raced to a 5-0 lead but being French and all, she allowed Bouchard back into the match. Bouchard broke Mladenovic twice as she served for the match. However, on the 3rd try, Mladenovic was about to close out the match 6-4 6-4. Jankovic too did not win a set against her opponent Sesil Karatantcheva 6-3 6-4. Sesil barely was able to close out the match but she did got the win. 

Au revoir Bouchard

Au revoir Bouchard

So that is it for the ladies, on the menz side, there was hardly any bother to be honest, at least in my estimation. This was the day that both Divadal (2) and Djoker (1) were to play their 1 round matches and they did not disappoint. Divadal took out a HOT FRENCHMAN Quentin Halys (He is definitely on my TO-DO list) 6-3 6-3 6-4. I swear the commentators are out like vicious vultures. They are hoping that Divadal loses this year because that would be the big story in tennis for the entire year. They have something to write about etc. It did not occur to them that maybe a different narrative was cute within the last ten years at the French Open.

Divadal and Quentin Halys

Divadal and Quentin Halys

m09vo (1)

What are you saying? You no like my Smurf Suit?

What are you saying? You no like my Smurf Suit?

Djoker looked the same as always. He played Jarkko Nieminen and for a minute you know that Djoker went away for a spell and then returned. Jarkko served for the 2nd set but apparently that was too much to ask for and Djoker took it 6-2 7-5 6-2. Also looking very impressive is David Ferrer (7) the 2013 finalist here. He beat or more to the point beat up Lukas Lacko 6-1 6-3 6-1. Richard Gasquet (20), Marin Cilic (9), John Isner (16) and Kevin Anderson (15) all won in straight sets. Jeremy Chardy did it for the home crowd and pull through in 4 sets as did Jerzy Janowicz I think and Pablo Carreno-Busta. Nico Almagro overcame a “tough” match again Aleksandr Dolgopolov and will face Divadal in the 2nd round. Now I did not want Divadal to face a Spaniard in this tournament because they ALWAYS bend over sideways and let him fuck them in the butt. But it does not matter either way, Divadal is still the man to beat here at this tournament.

Jarkko you're not upsetting my programme this year at all

Jarkko you’re not upsetting my programme this year at all

The most “shocking” result of the day on the men’s side is that Grigor Dimitrov (10) has once again failed to get out of the 1st round at the French Open. He faced American Jock Sock and it was a near beatdown. Grigor started off well enough if I am not mistaken, earning himself an early break but after losing that break and eventual the set in the breaker. By dropping that set, Dimitrov’s level also dropped. He was being outplayed from every angle of the work and it was very clear to all who were watching that he did not have an ounce of match strategy or wisdom to call upon to help him out of this difficult situation. Sock was near breaking Dimitrov at will. He took the match 7-6 6-2 6-3.

You need to go ....

You need to go ….

Yeah I am going ...

Yeah I am going …

Yeah pack your shit up and get the fuck outta here

Yeah pack your shit up and get the fuck outta here

And while we are on the subject of Grigor Dimitrov, can I just say that it is time that we stop referring him to him as “Baby Federer”! This needs to stop IMMEDIATELY! Not only is this putting unearned status on the young Bulgarian, but it is also putting undue pressure on him. The kid is drowning under this sea of pressure to perform. He clearly is not capable and up that level. And honestly, the only thing he and Federer have in common other than a penis, is the one handed backhand but so does and Nico Almagro and I am not hearing people calling Nico, Baby anything. So let it be known, the only time people can say “Baby Federer” they best be meaning the 4, double twins, Myla-Rose, Charlene, Leo and Lenny that he and Mirka produced.  

These are Federer's babies Leo and Lenny

These are Federer’s babies Leo and Lenny

Myla-Rose and Charlene

Myla-Rose and Charlene

Not this hot mess Grigor

Not this hot mess Grigor

Wozniacki as usual, your fashion sense only adds up to a penny

Wozniacki as usual, your fashion sense only adds up to a penny

Looks like you're wearing a panty over your skirt

Looks like you’re wearing a panty over your skirt

 

 

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