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Posts Tagged ‘Andreas Seppi’

Aus Open 2016: Fashion Run Afoul Down Under

In Andreas Seppi, Australian Open on January 17, 2016 at 11:36 pm

Hey all you Realz Fanz, I am sure you are excited about the beginning of the 2016 major season which gets under way with the Australian Open in Melbourne. I am kinda excited though I am not keyed up as I would have been in recent years. I have long accepted the fact that Roger Federer and Venus Williams, my TOP FAVES are not going to win slams … well unlikely to win. However,  I am looking forward to seeing some brilliant and inspiring tennis on court during the next two weeks. 

As always myself and the lovely ladies in Andreen (@A_Gallivant) and Janina (@JLR78) break down both the men and women’s draws. You can take a listen below either on YouTube or on Podbean. 

On Podbean as well

However, the reason for this post is not to discuss tennis per se but to really get into the fashion of the tennis players. Now seriously, I have been following professional tennis for a LONG LONG LONG time and for the life of me, I do not understand how rich young people with amazing bodies commit so many acts of fashion suicide. These young rich folks appear to be have been styled by the Fashion Institute for the Blind or their worst enemy. In my mind, I think at times, it has to be that they are deliberately looking ridiculous so as to piss me off.

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Anyway, the players, a select group I imagine, went to the IMG players’ party and it was a virtual shit show in this fashion. As always, I am right there to hand out grades and constructive criticism. I truly pray that these folks would consult me before going out ever again. 

When it comes to the menz, I really cannot give them a grade. It is so easy for them to be honest. I only give out grades if they are absolutely horrendous. 

I'm done talking about Kei and his teeth. He needs to take a million of that $60+ million from Uniqlo and get them chompers in order. This is UNACCEPTABLE

I’m done talking about Kei and his teeth, or lack there of. He needs to take a million of that $60+ million from Uniqlo and get them chompers in order. This is UNACCEPTABLE

Meanwhile, it seems that Kei is heading to a college frat party

Meanwhile, it seems that Kei is heading to a college frat party

And so is FeFe Lopez

And so is FeFe Lopez

This is a really bad angled photo but it is them jeans that I am having issues with. What the hell is going on with that zipper ... #creepy

This is a really bad angled photo but it is them jeans that I am having issues with. What the hell is going on with that zipper … #creepy

Did they all shop at the same place. I cannot even look at Harrison and them grandfather shoes. No need to ask, we all know Ryan is heading to the same frat party

Did they all shop at the same place. I cannot even look at Harrison and them grandfather shoes. No need to ask, we all know Ryan is heading to the same frat party. By the way Ryan, one bit of advice, “Fitted Jeans”!! 

Apparently, Heather is just one of the guys. I don't understand what's happening here. This has to be the "before picture" and we have to wait for the "after picture" when she is ready.

Apparently, Heather is just one of the guys. I don’t understand what’s happening here. This has to be the “before picture” and we have to wait for the “after picture” when she is ready.

Divadal, your personality is supposed to be whimsical and not your hair. Surely, it is time to talk to your doctors about Rogaine or whatever else is new in the men's hair loss treatment department.

Divadal, your personality is supposed to be whimsical, not your hair. Surely, it is time to talk to your doctors about Rogaine or whatever else is new in the men’s hair loss treatment department.

As per the norm, Divadal looks uncomfortable as fuck! BUT the outfit looks really nice on him. I love the shades of blue

As per the norm, Divadal looks uncomfortable as fuck! BUT the outfit looks really nice on him. I love the shades of blue

I was ready to rip into Kyle here but then I realized that I never see him at these events. Astronauts (players on the satellite and challenger circuits) don't get invited to these premiere events.  So he gets a pass as this was clearly his first time and he surely is the guest of a guest. Kyle, I won't be so kind next time.

I was ready to rip into Kyle here but then I realized that I never see him at these events. Astronauts (players on the satellite and challenger circuits) don’t get invited to these premiere events. So he gets a pass as this was clearly his first time and he surely is the guest of a guest. Kyle, I won’t be so kind next time.

David Ferrer looks all right! He doesn't look bad but it is a very safe choice. I cannot hate on him too much here at all.

David Ferrer looks all right! He doesn’t look bad but it is a very safe choice. I cannot hate on him too much here at all.

Clearly someone did not explain to Seppi that this players' event was not being held in the locker room. And they say Italians have great fashion sense!

Clearly someone did not explain to Seppi that this players’ event was not being held in the locker room. And they say Italians have great fashion sense!

Look at the French showing you how it is done! #HubertforHusband He just exudes absolute charm and quiet sex appeal.

Look at the French showing you how it is done! #HubertforHusband He just exudes absolute charm and quiet sex appeal.

Of course it goes without saying that my main man Samuel Groth knows how to impress at outings. I never let my man go out looking like a mess. Meanwhile that lil hussy Josh Gibson was trying to angle in on my property but I had to let him know that Sam Space is already occupied #backoffbitch

Of course it goes without saying that my main man Samuel Groth knows how to impress at outings. I never let my man go out looking like a mess. Meanwhile that lil hussy Josh Gibson was trying to angle in on my property but I had to let him know that Sam Space is already occupied #backoffbitch

I perhaps never say it often ... in fact, I don't think I have never said it before, Maria is beautiful. Just looking ravishing and radiant in this photo

I perhaps never say it often … in fact, I don’t think I have never said it before, Maria is beautiful. Just looking ravishing and radiant in this photo

For once she isn't accentuating her "manish" shoulders. This outfit I think works very well. The colours, the length, her hair and makeup are #flawless. Maria you get an A+

For once she isn’t accentuating her “manish” shoulders. This outfit I think works very well. The colours, the length, her hair and makeup are #flawless. Maria you get an A+

Meanwhile, is this a silent protest from the Russian again her motherland's draconian homophobic laws. I see her dress and all I am thinking about is marriage equality.

Meanwhile, is this a silent protest from the Russian again her motherland’s draconian homophobic laws. I see her dress and all I am thinking about is marriage equality.

Hmmm I kinda indifferent to Pliskova's look right now. Karo, you get an M for Meh

Hmmm I kinda indifferent to Pliskova’s look right now. Karo, you get an M for Meh

Apparently, in her post career life, LiNaLi is the WTA secretary? Why gurl? WHY?? That red lipstick is too RED, you're looking clownish and you need some powder for your face as it is too shiny or sweaty but I am gonna say "shiny". That skirt length needs to be CHOPPED. Show those legs. Unbutton one of those buttons on the blouse and let that hair down. Those shoes aren't right but I am going to give you a C+ because you are somebody's mother now.

Apparently, in her post career life, LiNaLi is the WTA secretary? Why gurl? WHY?? That red lipstick is too RED, you’re looking clownish and you need some powder for your face as it is too shiny or sweaty but I am gonna say “shiny”. That skirt length needs to be CHOPPED. Show those legs. Unbutton one of those buttons on the blouse and let that hair down. Those shoes aren’t right but I am going to give you a C+ because you are somebody’s mother now.

Genie, why is your hair looking a mess right now? What were you doing before this shot??

Genie, why is your hair looking a mess right now? What were you doing before this shot??

This outfit clearly deserves an A if only we were talking about tennis kit. But as it is an evening wear, I'm gonna have to give this a D-. It fits but it certainly doesn't flatter

This outfit clearly deserves an A if only we were talking about tennis kit. But as it is an evening wear, I’m gonna have to give this a D-. It fits but it certainly doesn’t flatter

Victoria "Vika" Azarenka. What in the name of fashion is this fucking mess? You look RIDICULOUS. I cannot even give you an F. That's too high a grade for this shit.

Victoria “Vika” Azarenka. What in the name of fashion is this fucking mess? You look RIDICULOUS. I cannot even give you an F. That’s too high a grade for this shit.

WTF? WTMFF is this garbage. She looks like she cut up some eccentric nurses' scrubs and added the belt and the shoes thinking the ensemble would look cute. Azarenka, honey, YOU LOOK BAD. You get an H for Horrendous

WTF? WTMFF is this garbage. She looks like she cut up some eccentric nurses’ scrubs and added the belt and the shoes thinking the ensemble would look cute. Azarenka, honey, YOU LOOK BAD. You get an H for Horrendous

I almost think that she looked better her than at this party.

I almost think that she looked better her than at this party.

A funny thing happened to Serena on her way to the players' party. She misheard and thought it was a "dance party". She looks ready to drop it like it's hot. Serena you know I am going to have to get on your for that weave/wig and them eyebushes gurl. We need to do better boo!!

A funny thing happened to Serena on her way to the players’ party. She misheard and thought it was a “dance party”. She looks ready to drop it like it’s hot. Serena you know I am going to have to get on your for that weave/wig and them eyebushes gurl. We need to do better boo!!

Madison apparently is apparently locked up in fashion hell and don't have a clue or keys to get out. This looks so bad, I think Vika looks better. Them shoes are WRONG, murdering her toes and sweety what is going on with the dress? The colour, the form, the fit, your breasts are hanging out. Why? WHY?

Madison apparently is locked up in fashion hell and don’t have a clue or keys to get out. This looks so bad, I think Vika looks better. Them shoes are WRONG, murdering her toes and sweety what is going on with the dress? The colour, the form, the fit, your breasts are hanging out. Why? WHY?

Someone couldn't give you some make up to fix this. How you checked yourself in a mirror and thought it was all okay to go out like this? I have no choice for to give this an F for a fucking fail

Someone couldn’t give you some make up to fix this. How you checked yourself in a mirror and thought it was all okay to go out like this? I have no choice for to give this an F for a fucking fail

So BMS didn't have time to change as practice and just showed up like this after getting off the courts.

So BMS didn’t have time to change as practice and just showed up like this after getting off the courts.

Again another newbie. I wanna say so much but I am hoping that we learns from this experience and do better for Wimbledon.

Again another newbie. I wanna say so much but I am hoping that we learns from this experience and do better for Wimbledon.

Everything is nice but somehow it just does not work for me overall. Her hair is right, dress form its colour and everything are great. However, she just looks off in it altogether like it does not belong to her.

Everything is nice but somehow it just does not work for me overall. Her hair is right, dress form its colour and everything are great. However, she just looks off in it altogether like it does not belong to her. However, I have to give her a solid B+

Pavs looks great here but the pose is all wrong. I mean she looks good for her usual self.

Pavs looks great here but the pose is all wrong. I mean she looks good for her usual self. Body make up boo for those tan lines

This used to be Pavy's usual getup at these events. So we have to give credit where credit is due. She gets a solid C for this.

This used to be Pavy’s usual getup at these events. So we have to give credit where credit is due. She gets a solid C for this.

I am not sure about it. Cute top but those pants do not work. This needed a skirt or a different top. Either way, doesn't really work for me and Svitolina, you get a C-

I am not sure about it. Cute top but those pants do not work. This needed a skirt or a different top. Either way, doesn’t really work for me and Svitolina, you get a C-

I really need someone to explain to me why is it that the Spanish men ALWAYS look right but the ladies ALWAYS look a right mess. Why is Garbine wearing this shit in public? I don't even know where to begin

I really need someone to explain to me why is it that the Spanish men ALWAYS look right but the ladies ALWAYS look a right mess. Why is Garbine wearing this shit in public? I don’t even know where to begin .. First the hair looks like it was just washed with supermarket shampoo; that makeup isn’t flattering; that blouse is for a child not a grown woman: those pants … I think you would find that her grandmother’s couch is missing fabric as it is now her pants: her sandals … #icant

She was doing everything right until she decided to follow her hubby and match him with the white shoes. Why? Why? And I am going to pretend like I am not seeing that purse at all.

She was doing everything right until she decided to follow her hubby and match him with the white shoes. Why? Why? And I am going to pretend like I am not seeing that purse at all.

Thank God for small miracles. Katya baby looks like her and not the daddy# #keepingitrealz

Thank God for small miracles. Katya baby looks like her and not the daddy# #keepingitrealz

They get my vote for the best overall dressed. At least they make no bones about it being all costumes.

They get my vote for the best overall dressed. At least they make no bones about it being all costumes.

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2015 Australian Open: Day 7 and 8 The Rounds of 16s

In Uncategorized on January 30, 2015 at 11:06 pm
The Aussie Open in the outback??

The Aussie Open in the outback??

Day 7 and Day 8 saw the completion of the entire round of 16 matches. All 16 matches; 8 on the women’s side and 8 on the men’s, were seen on court resulting in the draw finally being in the business end of the tournament: The quarterfinals then semis and finally the final. It is amazing how quickly these two weeks have passed and we are now down to so few players. We had 256 players in the singles draw last Sunday/Monday. Now we are down to 16 after the completion of these two days play.

Let us deal with the women’s:

Genie gurl, we have to put all of this in a bottle and never let it out. We can do better!!!

Genie gurl, we have to put all of this in a bottle and never let it out. We can do better!!!

On Day 7, the bottom half played. Bouchard (7) took on Irina-Camelia Begu and was in dominant fashion having taken the 1st set 6-1 and breaks up in the 2nd. However, she lost her way and allowed Begu back into the match. Begu did not hesitate to take the 2nd 7-5 and forced a 3rd set. Well as she noted after the match, Bouchard went to the bathroom and had a conversation with herself in the mirror, “Genie this is unacceptable!” The Canadian got her life together and took the decisive set and the match 6-1 5-7 6-2. She is through to her 2nd straight Aussie Open quarterfinals. Her opponent, Martha Shriekapova (2) had an easy time against the soft hitting Chinese player, Shuai Peng (21). Peng was merely giving Martha a light practice out on court. She really could do nothing to hurt the Russian in the least. Martha did everything better and it showed as Martha took the match 6-3 6-0.

I got no time for these extras and wenches! I am coming for the Aussie Open crown

I got no time for these extras and wenches! I am coming for the Aussie Open crown

Another Russian who had an easy time of her opponent was Ekaterina Makarova who played Julia Goerges. It was clear that the German was going to be in a lot of trouble against the Russian. First off, Goerges was further in this tournament that she really had a right to be. She has not been in situations like this in a long time and her mental shortcomings have been well documented. Makarova was all over her and got the early leads in the both sets. However, she could not close them out on her serve. That hardly mattered as her lead was so much that she was able to break Goerges on the next game to close it out, 6-3 6-2. Halep (3) will play Makarova in the quarterfinal as the Romanian took out Belgian Yanina Wickmayer. Wickmayer won their previous encounter but this time around, Halep came out ready for her. Halep won 6-4 6-2 and in her 2nd straight Aussie Open quarterfinal.

It looks like she's wearing a tshirt and a handtowel

It looks like she’s wearing a tshirt and a handtowel

The Round of 16 matches on the following day were far more interesting and intriguing on the women side. First up Cibuttkova took on Vickie who is saying that her name is Vika and not Vickie; a lot of people have now taken to call her Vicky/Vickie. Remember you heard it here first peoplez. It was REALZ who started to call her Vickie first! Anyway, gurl, this is RealzTenisFanz, you just have to deal with the name change. Everyone has made the necessary adjustments in their minds and you should be no different. You are just lucky that I generally like you and not shade you with a name like “Red’s Fool” but good thing you dumped that mofo. Anyway, so Vickie was up against Cibuttkova and Vickie started off WELL with a 2-0 lead. However, I am not sure what happened but Cibuttkova worked her way back into the match point by point and reeled off 6-straight game to take the opening set 6-2.

Cibuttkova was swinging left right and centre v Vickie

Cibuttkova was swinging left right and centre v Vickie

This was very impressive bit of tennis because Vickie was looking to boss the point around and take control of the baseline. However, Cibuttkova’s forehand was on like a boiled corn. She was hitting that thing hard and deep, forcing Vickie back in the trenches where she is prone to be more erratic. In the 2nd set, Vickie again started off with a break and this time, she made the necessary adjustments and put Cittbukova on the defensive. She began controlling the rallies and winning the points for her efforts. She took the 2nd set 6-3. In the 3rd set, she again started off with a break but as in the 1st set, she was unable to the lead. Cibuttkova continued to be solid and consistent from the back of the court and making some excellent shots. She would break Vickie one more time and take the match 6-2 3-6 6-3. She too was heading to her 2nd straight Aussie Open quarterfinals.

I must be dreaming!!

I must be dreaming!!

WOW the difference in stature is remarkable!

WOW the difference in stature is remarkable! The bigger they are, the harder they fall

Another big match of the day was Serena taking on Garbine Muguruza (24), the woman who took her out of the French Open last year. This match was heavily built up and one can see why. Muguruza was outplaying  Serena in that 1st set. She was no typical Spanish player willing to grind out a point. Nope Muggy is all about going for her shots and quick 1-2-3 punches. However, in the 2nd set, after taking the 1st set 6-2, Serena turned on the heat. She got her life together and began playing her shots and taking advantages of the MANY BREAK POINT CHANCES she had. There were so many. She took the 2nd set 6-3 and in the 3rd set, Muggy was just DONE! She could not keep up and was looking dusted on points. Serena took it 2-6 6-3 6-2. See Muggy only have strength for Serena but struggles elsewhere yet I think she has the capability of being a top 10 player in the future. But she is well off the plot if she cannot maintain her intensity and play in big matches like this.

Like you really thought you were going to beat me a 2nd time at a major? LOL #Gurlbye

Like you really thought you were going to beat me a 2nd time at a major? LOL #Gurlbye

Another American Madison Keys took on a fellow American Madison Brengle for a place in what would be the first major quarterfinal for either player. And again Keys is showing herself to be very impressive in these big matches. She really handled herself very well again Dellacqua in the 3rd round and now in the 4th round, she kept at it. She took out Brengle 6-2 6-4. She held her mental composure together well in the 2nd set when it became apparent that Brengle was finding her range again. It is very good to see young American talent burgeoning. Keys’ name has been up there for a while and now under the tutelage of Lindsay Davenport, 2000 champion here in Melbourne, she is finally showing great signs of things to come. HOWEVER, time will truly tell. There have been A LOT of players who the same can be said and they have not panned out to this day. But good luck to Keys. However, I wish her luck to run out at this point because she would be facing my main gurl Venus Ebony Starr Williams aka Granny Vee in the quarters.

Madison Keys has found the key to success here in Melbourne so far

Madison Keys has found the key to success here in Melbourne so far

The match du jour had to be Aga v Granny Vee and it was a great win for the American. She came out strong and took the 1st set 6-3. Aga was playing into her hands going for rallies instead of mixing up the shots. Vee was able to stand toe-to-toe with Aga and dictate the terms of the match. In the 2nd set, Granny Vee had to catch her breathe. She got broken early and then got broken again giving Aga the edge. The Pole took the set 6-2 and we all thought that Granny Vee was going to go home. She had a great run nonetheless. Again we lost faith in the legend. It did not help matters that in the 3rd set, she got broken to open the set. Never give up on your champions because Granny Vee Ebony Starr came back to win 6 straight game and take the match 6-3 2-6 6-1. She is back in a major quarterfinals, first time since 2010 US Open. AMAZING.

SHE WASN'T READYYYYY!!

SHE WASN’T READYYYYY!!

Ebony Starr is shining BRIGHTLIKE A DIAMOND

Ebony Starr is shining BRIGHTLIKE A DIAMOND

So the Ladies Quarterfinals are set:

  • Martha Shriekapova (2) v Genie Bouchard (7)
  • Koolaide Halep (1) v Makarova (10)
  • Serenanator (1) v Cibuttkova (11)
  • Granny Vee (18) v Madison Keys
Divadal is so far en pointe at the Aussie Open

Divadal is so far en pointe at the Aussie Open

On the men’s side there was really nothing of consequence to talk about per se. Divadal (3) took on Kevin Anderson (14) and of course he won in straight sets 7-5 6-1 6-4. I mean Anderson cannot even beat Berdych so I cannot imagine that Anderson felt he even had a chance against the likes o Divadal. I am surprised that he even won 5 games in a one set. Nonetheless he did really well for himself to get this far. Up next for Divadal would be the mercurial Tomas Berdych (7) aka Lurch aka Berdshite and soon to be Mr. Satorova (he’s engaged you all) He took on Australia’s Bernard Tomic and again he has showed himself to be in good shape at this event. He got through comfortably 6-2 7-6 6-2. So far I have been really impressed by the Czech and I do not even think he has dropped a set just yet.

Berdych is finding fine form here in Melbourne

Berdych is finding fine form here in Melbourne. Seems like he got his mind, body and game to all work together AS ONE AT THE SAME TIME. Meanwhile, Berdych, I am not seeing any package in your nest. Are you tucking? Are you a grower because you certainly not a shower?

The other two men’s match on this day (Day 7) were far more exciting. Dimitrov was taking on Lochness Murray, the guy who he dismantled at last year’s Australian Open. They split the first two sets but it was surprisingly Lochness Murray who came through in 4 sets, 6-4 6-7 6-3 7-5. I was really surprised because I expected Dimitrov to show more effort but I think he got tired after wasting all the time in the 3rd round v Baghdatis. He had no business at all being in a 5 setter with that scrub. Nonetheless, I would admit that Dimitrov had been looking rather sluggish on court but I figured that that was just his way of conserving energy after he got crushed in Brisbane by Mr. Federer 6-2 6-2.

Lochness Monster is making Melbourne Magic

Lochness Monster is making Melbourne Magic

Lochness Murray would face the lone Aussie left in the draw, Nick Kyrgios aka Kripsy Kringles who faced the man who knocked out Mr. Federer, Andreas Seppi. Seppi took control of the match like he did against Federer from the start. Seppi was up 2-0 sets 7-5 6-4 but I guess the crowd got in his face and he was unable to convert on the match point. Sometimes in tennis, when you blink, you never see straight again. Kyrgios took the match 5-7 4-6 6-3 7-6 8-6. He is through to his first major quarterfinals if I am not mistaken … wait perhaps he got through to Wimbledon’s quarterfinal. Yeah he did, he beat Divadal in the 4th round. How could I have forgotten that? He then lost to Milos if I am not mistaken.  Anyway he is through to his first quarterfinal at his home slam.

Of course Seppi went home in the next round!

Of course Seppi went home in the next round! You’re cute but you GET ZERO sympathy from me as you beat Mr. Federer

The following day for the men’s Round of 16, we had the top half in action and I have to say that I was particularly pleased with a few of the players. Let me first say that Kei Horsikori (5) has taken my advice and decided that quick and efficient is the way to go when it comes to majors. He dismissed Fake Fire Ferrer (9) in straight sets 6-3 6-3 6-3. I cannot ask for a more solid and/or quicker match from the Japanese. Hopefully this spurs him on to greater things here. His opponent would be Stanley (4) whom he took out back in NYC at the US Open in the quarters.  Now it was Stanley’s turn to disappoint me. He has been merrily going along is way here in Melbourne. However, it was Guillermo Garcia-Lopez who was playing the impressive tennis. He was giving Stanley drama on the court. Stanley’s life kept getting complicated and he could not deal for a moment. After taking the first 2 sets 7-6 6-4 with momentum shifting back and forth, Stanley got outplayed in the 3rd set. Garcia-Lopez finally got things together to take the 3rd set 6-4. In the fourth set, they were both playing well so a tiebreaker was needed to decide things. GL was up 6-1 only to let Stanley back into the match to take it. Stanley took it 7-6 6-4 4-6 7-6.

Djoker is still the man to beat here!

Djoker is still the man to beat here!

Djoker (1) was very solid against the hard serving Luxembourger Gilles Muller. Djoker stayed very solid until the crucial later stages of the match and pounced on his opponent. Djoker is through to another quarterfinals here 6-4 7-5 7-5. He will take on Milos Raonic (8) who had his hands full with FeFe Lopez (12) who it looks like is trying to get back his career in the top brackets of the game. He forced it to a 5th set but unfortunately came up short 4-6 6-4 3-6 7-6 3-6. Milos is back into the quarterfinals of the Aussie Open for the 2nd straight year.

FeFe Lopez yet again so close but yet so far from a great major run

FeFe Lopez yet again so close but yet so far from a great major run

Men’s Quarterfinals:

  • Stanley (4) v Kei (5)
  • Djoker (1) v Raonic (8)
  • Divadal (3) v Berdych (7)
  • Lochness Murray (6) v Nick Kyrgios

 THE BIG PICTURE SHOW

This hair part is so EPIC. Meanwhile, Milos is giving me a lot of cuteness right now

This hair part is so EPIC. Meanwhile, Milos is giving me a lot of cuteness right now

Milos is getting featured today

Milos is getting featured today

Even in black and white, Milos is looking cute

Even in black and white, Milos is looking cute

NO you cannot stalk me and NO you cannot have my number

NO you cannot stalk me and NO you cannot have my number

Guillermo Garcia-Lopez can get it

Guillermo Garcia-Lopez can get it

He has a big mouth and loves beef :-)

He has a big mouth and loves beef 🙂

Berdych showing off his body! Meanwhile the lineguy is getting self conscious sucking in his stomach

Berdych showing off his body! Meanwhile the lineguy is getting self conscious sucking in his stomach

Tampomic is showing off

Tampomic is showing off

In case you need to towel off

In case you need to towel off

Thomas Johansson won Aussie Open back in 2002 . Yeah over Safin. Meanwhile, I can't explain what's with this new look

Thomas Johansson won Aussie Open back in 2002 . Yeah over Safin. Meanwhile, I can’t explain what’s with this new look

See I like Kuzi-Rex it is tiedye that I have an issue with. See my philosophy about tiedye is for it to be tie up some place and to die

See I like Kuzi-Rex it is tiedye that I have an issue with. See my philosophy about tiedye is for it to be tie up some place and to die

#icant with this horrid outfit

#icant with this horrid outfit

En garde!

En garde!

As always Kei is stylish in his shotmaking ability

As always Kei is stylish in his shotmaking ability

D for Djoker

D for Djoker

D for Defence

D for Defence

Granny Vee's hair is flowing and moving!!

Granny Vee’s hair is flowing and moving!!

Is that a zit on my chin?

Is that a zit on my chin?

I've fallen and I can't get up

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

Wait, the cat is trying to get out of the bag ...

Wait, the cat is trying to get out of the bag …

He's all about getting her attention with his big sign

He’s all about getting her attention with his big sign

Serena is all "emotionable" by his gesture

Serena is all “emotionable” by his gesture

Plain Jane

Plain Jane

sadas

sadas

Rugged Rose

Rugged Rose

Festive kids

Festive kids

Djoker doing anything to get some attention out there

Djoker doing anything to get some attention out there

We got our pocketbooks in case of any emergencies

We got our pocketbooks in case of any emergencies

What are you hitting at?

What are you hitting at?

Garbine kiss my @$$

Garbine kiss my @$$

Why are you do rude to me Serena?

Why are you do rude to me Serena?

#gurlbye

#gurlbye

Is Rod Laver alive?

Is Rod Laver alive?

I mean check his pulse ...

I mean check his pulse …

Why is being dragged out to Melbourne every year?

Why is being dragged out to Melbourne every year?

Rod Laver and evil queen Margaret Court

Rod Laver and evil queen Margaret Court

Someone check her blood sugar ... ain't no way you're suppose to be eating ice cream with that mean look on your face

Someone check her blood sugar … ain’t no way you’re suppose to be eating ice cream with that mean look on your face

I hope that's liquid Rogaine in that bottle

I hope that’s liquid Rogaine in that bottle

Divadal this is a mess. You were out for months. You should get this dealt with promptly

Divadal this is a mess. You were out for months. You should get this dealt with promptly

It might not look it but there is something rude and suggestive about this photo ... you have an open mouth, two balls in hand and an extended middle finger

It might not look it but there is something rude and suggestive about this photo … you have an open mouth, two balls in hand and an extended middle finger

2015 Australian Open: Day 6 The Day of Reckoning!

In Uncategorized on January 28, 2015 at 9:06 pm

gq4de

So Day 6 had arrived and we had the day of reckoning; Granny Vee v Camila Giorgi! I mean this was the marquee match of the day and they had it up first on the stadium. I was into this match not because I am a huge Venus fan but because I know there was very much the possibility for Venus to lose this match after all that smart talking I was doing with those memes. I know Venus is capable of playing like the former No.1 she is and then also act like she barely know what to do with a tennis racquet on court.

gq4f5

Well it was the latter Venus who showed up to play Giorgi. Venus was just not doing anything with theSo Day 6 had arrived and we had the day of reckoning; Granny Vee v Camila Giorgi! I mean this was the marquee match of the day and they had it up first on the stadium. I was into this match not because I am a huge Venus fan but because I know there was very much the possibility for Venus to lose this match after all that smart talking  with doing with those memes. I know Venus is capable of playing like the former No.1 she is and then also act like she barely know what to do with a tennis racquet on court. ball of much consequence. She was playing on the backfoot and at times, it seemed as though she was playing on backfeet and on her hands as well. She was well off on her shots. However, that is not to say that Giorgi was not playing well because she was! She was playing amazing tennis! In fact it seemed as though despite her diminutive stature, she can wail on the ball. She was playing the type of tennis that was very much the norm back in the early 2000’s “Big Babe Tennis” She was the one rushing the net, getting the forehand well measured on the line and serving up a storm. It was Venus’s game plan being employed against her.

Giorgi is now wearing a bandana as a dress. She ain't about that life at all

Giorgi is now wearing a bandana as a dress. She ain’t about that life at all

However, Granny Vee was patient and as she would later say, “This old cat still has some tricks in her bag.” She was on the brink of defeat as Giorgi served for the match. Even I had given up hope of her winning the match. Giorgi was up 3-5 and then Venus steadied herself like her former self; Vintage Venus. Venus reeled off 4 straight games to now put Camila on the back foot. Camila was able to save a set point and pushed the 2nd set to a tiebreaker. It was do or die for Granny Vee and I swear, I really expected her to wither. I cannot begin to tell you how many tiebreakers or as I like to call them, heartbreakers I have seen Granny Vee just been destroyed. US Open 2014 3rd round v Sara Errani. Yes that match and here we are again with another Italian in the 3rd round of a major and Granny Vee is again up against the ropes.

Hold my towel for a minute while I go deal with this itch!

Hold my towel for a minute while I go deal with this itch!

The tennis gods hear my prayers and they delivered. Ebony Starr shone bright like a diamond and raced ahead in the break to take it 7-3 points. A 3rd and decisive set was on needed. In this set, Vintage Venus was on full display. She made formidable tennis throughout the entire 3rd set and Giorgi was left wondering who the hell is this woman and where the hell was she all match long. It must have been a bitter pill to swallow as she could get no chance to boss the points around. Her serve was her great undoing as she had 16 double faults total for the match. Venus was relentless in the 3rd set and her effort paid off as she closed the match 4-6 7-6 6-1.

You like that breadstick in the 3rd set?

You like that breadstick in the 3rd set?

gq4om

Up next for the veteran is the newly reformed Aga Bratzwanka who now until the tutelage of Martina. Aga has been rolling through throw this draw thus like a boulder down a hill. She is picking up speed and crushing everything in her path. She has played three matches and in each of them, baked up a bagel for her opponents. She delivered the 3rd of those bagels to Varvare Lepchenko 6-0 7-5. Victoria Azarenka followed up her impressive 2nd round win to beat Barbora Zahlavova-Styrcova (25) 6-4 6-4. She will take on Dominika Cibuttkova (11) who knocked out Lordlize Cornemort (19) 7-5 6-2. Garbine Muguruza (24) took on Timea Bacsinszky and showed herself to be in great form these championships. She won 6-3 4-6 6-0. She will next face Serena whom she took out in straight sets 6-2 6-2 at the French Open last year.

Serenanator in action

Serenanator in action

Serena had a toughish time against Elena Svitolina (26) who is also looking to be playing in great form this tournament. Svitolina came out on fire v Serena in the opening set. She was not missing a thing and Serena was forced on her backfoot. She was out of position for all her shots and making errors galore. She dropped the set 4-6. However, knowing Serena, she takes these lapses in concentration in stride. In the 2nd and 3rd sets it was all Serena and Svitolina was nowhere to be found. Serena took it 4-6 6-2 6-0. Two other Americans would join the Williams sisters in the Round of 16; Madison Keys and Madison Brengle. Keys scored the big upset of the day when she knocked out Petra Kvitova (4) 6-4 7-5 and Brengle took out another American CoCo Vandeweghe 6-3 6-2. It is rather a disappointment result for Petra because I really thought she was going to make something of this run here in Melbourne and at least make the quarters if nothing at all. Alas Petra will only play well on the grass of Wimbledon.

Keys letting Petra know she's thankful for the free match

Keys letting Petra know she’s thankful for the free match

Well after Day 5’s titanic upset, Day 6 proved to be very somber. There was no drama unless you count Kei Horsikori playing for the Dodge City Tennis Team. This frigger seems to think that it is okay to be dropping random sets to scrubs. It is as though he is incapable of playing a complete match from start to finish. This time, he gave American Steve Johnson the 1st set 6-7 and then for the rest of the match, it was back being Horsikori who is ranked 5 in the world playing a guy who is ranked who knows and who cares in the world. Horsikori through 6-7 6-1 6-2 6-3. This sorta time wasting tactic will not bode well for him in the latter half of this tournament; if he even get there.

Fake Fire Ferrer is still around!

Fake Fire Ferrer is still around!

Djoker (1), Stanley (4) and Milos (8) were all showing themselves in impeccable form as they made it through their 3rd round match in straight sets. Djoker took out Tabasco Verdasco (31) 7-6 6-2 6-4 and Stanley took out Jarkko Nieminen 6-4 6-2 6-4. These top guys were not the only ones with straight set victories. FeFe Lopez (12) took care of Jerzy Janowicz 7-6 6-4 7-6 and Guermillo Garcia-Lopez aka GGL won over a physically struggling Vasek Popiscle 6-2 6-4 6-2.  A resurgent Gilles Muller has found some fine form again and made it through to the Round of 16 of a major as knocked out Mountain Troll BFG Isner (19) 7-6 7-6 6-4. Ferrer (9) also won but he needed 4 sets to get by Gilles Simon (19) 6-2 7-5 5-7 7-6 to set up a date with Horsikori in the 4th round.  Djoker will play Muller for a place in the quarterfinals, Stanley will play GGL and FeFe Lopez will play Raonic. Should be some exciting contests coming up! 

Andreas Seppi

Andreas Seppi

Cleans up really nice ... are you stalking me?

Cleans up really nice … are you stalking me?

I got a big mouth

I got a big mouth

Nice but I am do better

Nice but I can do better

Jarkko is HOTNESS all cleaned up

Jarkko is HOTNESS all cleaned up

And he has a BIG MOUTH TOO

And he has a BIG MOUTH TOO

Doesn't Novak resemble ...(see below)?

Doesn’t Novak resemble …(see below)?

Underdog!!!

Underdog!!!

Don't know who he but we would love to know him particularly in the biblical sense

Don’t know who he but we would love to know him particularly in the biblical sense

Lepchenko ... NNOOOO

Lepchenko … NNOOOO

HELLZ NO you show up to a match looking like this

HELLZ NO you show up to a match looking like this

I mean what the hell is this photo op about? Seriously Aussie Open?

I mean what the hell is this photo op about? Seriously Aussie Open?

Meanwhile Milos is showing us he can do it all the same without a partner

Meanwhile Milos is showing us he can do it all the same without a partner

But can I still get the girl?

But can I still get the girl?

The ball was in right there ...

The ball was in right there …

Is this what you call in?

Is this what you call in? Bitch you blind or you’re playing doubles by yourself?

Hahahah you beat me? Ridiculous

Hahahah you beat me? Ridiculous

WTF?? She beat me

WTF?? She beat me

Hey ladies ...

Hey gurls …Guess what time it is? GAYNESIA TIME

sdfsd

This is what happens when too much testosterone and liquor are in the same place … Gaynesia

The Smurfs are in Melbourne it seems

The Smurfs are in Melbourne it seems

Jelena, you best check your man because this side chick is coming for him

Jelena, you best check your man because this side chick is coming for him

I am DONE! I am just going to sit here and be over this shit right now

I am DONE! I am just going to sit here and be over with this shit right now

I hope no one smelled that one ... that was too much even for me

I hope no one used that last stall! WOW … that was too much even for me MUY MUY MUY MAS

So we are really good at Wii tennis ... soo

So we are really good at Wii tennis … soo

So we are going to try the real thing

So we are going to try the real thing

I was hoping we would take care of my eyebrows but she said she's not a miracle worker and just did my nails

I was hoping we would take care of my eyebrows but she said she’s not a miracle worker and just did my nails

(c) 2015 CRH

2015 Australian Open Day 5: You don’t come for Granny Vee!

In Uncategorized on January 27, 2015 at 7:09 pm

So Day 5 happened and boy am I still in shock! The only reason why I am still alive right now is because Day 6 happened but let us not get too ahead of ourselves.

This may or may not be an accurate depiction of me after Day 5 of this Aussie Open

This may or may not be an accurate depiction of me after Day 5 of this Aussie Open

So before the action of Day 5 even got under way, the Twitter world was fire when it was tweeted that Camila Giorgi who was set to play Granny Vee Venus Ebony Starr Williams in the 3rd round had ALLEGEDLY said when asked about Venus Williams, “I don’t know her!” Come again? Thot what? To add insult to injury, Camila allegedly added, “I only watched Sampras and Agassi back then!” Twitter lost its gaddam mind over this shite. I found it hilarious and added my 2 cents … actually I added way more than that to the pool. It was about a dollar and some change. However, before I get to how I spent my money I wanted to address the specifics of Giorgi’s shade because if this is all true and she did say this, though I have yet to uncover any validity to the “Twitter Testimony”, we have to address it. It cannot go unchecked at all!

First off, Giorgi is about 22 years old if I am not mistaken. Keep that in mind. In her alleged comments about not knowing Venus Williams and only being familiar with (Pete) Sampras and (Andre) Agassi, she did two things there. (I have to admit that this was quality shade! You gotta give credit where credit is due! She came to field with some good shite. She got A grade stuff) Anywho, so what Giorgi did was 1) Diss Venus on her age and 2) Diss her on her relevance. Speaking from a pre-match hype perspective, she is really doing well to set the stage for drama. For a weaker player, this would have been near mental nuclear bomb. However, this is Granny Vee we are talking about; she ain’t bothered! WTA Wenches do not bother her in the least.

grb5h

So Giorgi went after Venus’s age. When Granny Vee was 22, she was not only winning major matches CONSISTENTLY, she was number 1 in the world if I am not mistaken. She had 4 major titles and 2 Olympic gold medals. When Venus showed up at the US Open for the first time at age 17, she made it to the final on debut. She was no one-hit wonder either because she was making it consistently to the 2nd week of majors. She was winning other important titles too. She won her first two majors at 20. So Camila gurl what have you done in your 22 years of feeble existence? Silence* Crickets chirping* Just like I suspected, Nothing! And the crickets know it too. Now, don’t cry because that is just going to cheapen the whole thing and make me look like a bully when you were the one who started this. I am just going to be the one to finish it. You came out swinging in the Shady Pines Tournament. This is what it is really like in the big leagues of ShadyVille! The library is open boo and you are about to get read!

the library is open - read

And no I am not done! So back in 2002 when Pete Sampras played his LAST PROFESSIONAL match when you were about 9 or 10, he played it at the US Open beating Agassi in the final. But do you know who was in the women’s finals that year? Yeah you guessed it, the defending champion Venus Williams v Serena Williams, her younger sister. Back in 2000-2003, Venus and her sister put women’s tennis back on the map and have been the ones doing so till now. See the brand of tennis coverage that people get when it is not about the Williams Sisters is not about tennis at all. It is all about superficial stuff like glitz and glamour etc. I think that is the strategy your mama is taking by dressing you in Sailor Moon shorts. (Your mama is fair game since your papa put his mouth into the fray saying, you’re better than Venus! Papa please! Have a seat … have several in fact!)

The Sisters were doing it for themselves and for you too!!

The Sisters weren’t just doing it for themselves BUT for you too!!

But again I digress. Before there was Divadal, Mr. Federer, Djoker, Lochness Murray, Shriekapova and Azarenka, there was Venus and then Serena! They are the reason you get equal prize money at most tournaments, particularly Venus. So when you say, you don’t know Venus, you not just being shady, you are being downright disrespectful and you have to be checked. And I am the one to check you! But then again, if we are talking money and checks, those are issues for you no? Apparently you got none and the only checks you can issued are from the Banks of PlayDoh and Mattel. So you are able to buy Park Place on the Monopoly board and all of a sudden you feel you got strength to talk. Why don’t you scrape up the few pennies you have and get yourself some humble pie and pay hom-mage to the greatness that is Venus Williams? Venus is not only making bank on the tour, she owns an Interior Design Company, Fashion Design as well as partnership in other major corporations including the Miami Dolphins. You on the other hand cannot pay your creditors in trident layers gum even if they were willing to accept it.

gq4de

You might not know this but it is because of Venus why we are even noting your presence at the Australian Open this year. You might think that beating Flavia Pennetta (12) was some great achievement for you because maybe you’ll get picked for the Fed Cup team this year ahead of Karin Knapp but for Venus that’s just a routine day at the office. And gurl, let’s be on the real right now, Francesca Schiavone got more relevance than you. See the real question is not whether you know Venus but it is whether Venus knows you?

gfs_49450_2_16

I could FINISH you right now but I am gonna let Professor Serena have the final words on this matter when she told reporters this of her sister. I am gonna need you to pay attention for this bit … Wait can you even afford to pay attention?

CAPTION CORRECTION The Championships - Wimbledon 2013: Previews

“Yeah, she came in as a new face, a black woman that was shaking up the world. She had all the pressure on her shoulders. I kind of came in behind her. You know, just snuck in there. There was no pressure on me at all. She dealt with it so amazing. She had a lot of confidence and she had so much class and still does throughout everything. You can see that her personality is pretty much the same. She’s definitely grown but she’s always been very mature and very regal.”

Q. Was there a public moment in public when you were most proud of your sister?

“So many things. I mean, her sticking up for equal rights in Dubai when they wouldn’t let certain players play, her sticking up for equal prize money for the WTA in Wimbledon. So many different things that she’s done for the tour that’s made it a better place not just for me but for all the female players.”

Now you can cry! And may I never hear another word of this matter alleged or otherwise because next time, I am not gonna be so nice!

Jujubee-library-reading-to-filth

Back to our regular scheduled program:

So let us get to the real matter at hand, the tennis,

Mr. Federer had a bad day at the office

Mr. Federer had a bad day at the office

I guess we should start with the menz because the biggest story of the day and perhaps the entire championships, has come from the men’s draw. 4-time Champion here, Mr. Roger Federer has been dismissed by the most unlikely of opponent, Andreas Seppi, a player he has beaten in all 10 previous meetings. Seppi came out swinging and Mr. Federer was well off. Nothing was working for him and his lack of accuracy was paying off for Seppi. Even Mr. Federer’s usual deft on-court instincts were completely off. Twice Mr. Federer let makeable shots float by thinking that they would go long, both on set points no less. Both balls dropped well in resulting in him losing those sets, the last one being the match.

Andreas Seppi

Andreas Seppi

Seppi was clearly the better player. He was the one making the right decisions on court and getting his serve to work as well as getting the right length on his shots. All the breaks were going his way and whenever he was in trouble, Mr. Federer was just not able to capitalize and left his game long enough in order to maintain any advantage. Jim Courier, a former winner here noted something along the lines of “Federer just has to be Federer for 5 minutes in order to turn this match around.” However, it came to be that Federer was only Federer for short bursts of no more than 3 minutes interval and that was enough to get him a break in the 3rd set (A LUCKY NET CORD) but it was not enough to get him to win the match. Seppi took it 6-4 7-6 4-6 7-6. 

What had happened was ...

What had happened was …

This is the first time since 2003 that Mr. Federer has not made it to the semifinals or better at the Australian Open. It was 11 straight years of great performances here in Melbourne!

Mr. Federer had this to say of the match: “For some reason I struggled. Like I explained, it had things to do with Andreas’ game and with my game as well. You put those things together, all of a sudden you’re playing a match you don’t want to play. The rallies are going in a way you don’t like it. Then when I maybe needed my serve the most, it wasn’t quite there, because my baseline game wasn’t there either. It went in phases. But at least I was able to iron out things a bit and able to play much more solid at the back end of the match. But it just broke me to lose that second set. And actually the fourth, I should win it, too. Just a brutal couple of sets to lose there.

How many times have I played night session, day session, night session, day session or day session, night session? Who cares. I think he did well. I struggled today and he took advantage of it really. I wish I believed maybe if we played at night I would have been more comfortable, but at this point who cares, right? I mean, like I’m on the plane and he’s not, so…”

This is why Mr. Federer will forever be my homie slice FOR LIFE!!!

Divadal taking out Dudi Sela

Divadal taking out Dudi Sela

So anyway, Divadal was also set to play. He won his match quite comfortably because he was playing Dudi Sela. Yeah who is he? Sela did not put up much of a fight but Divadal was generous by letting it go to 12 games in the 3rd set: 6-1 6-0 7-5. Meanwhile, Divadal also had a bit of drama sounding his name on the day though I am sure his fans will not see it this way. Craig Tiley, the director of the Australian Open had this to say in regards to Divadal before this match and after this “epic match” v Tim Smyczek: “We saw that Rafa had lost a lot of fluids and Nadal’s team asked us to have the maximum possible time for recovery. We are in permanent contact with players’ teams and this decision was good for both parts, we are all happy and nobody should be upset about this. Rafa is one of the greatest players in this tournaments and a great asset of world tennis. We have to protect him”

I think this is ridiculous! I mean this is so unfair to players. Divadal played a 5-set match and not a 3-day affair a la John Isner and Nicolas Mahut. It is not that serious but as always, tennis has changed its standards for Divadal! As per Divadal, we have changed the court, the ball, the racquet and now we are fixing the schedule to give him the advantage. They might as well just put him in the final without playing the 6 previous rounds.

But anyway, the other menz! Lochness Murray (6) has been quietly making his way thought the draw. He has not dropped random sets and played solid thus far. He got rid of Joao Sousa of Portugal 6-1 6-1 7-5. He will play Dimitrov(10) who was having Marcos Baghdatis give him the run around as they had to go to a 5th set to decide the match. Dimitrov won it 4-6 6-3 3-6 6-3 6-3.

Berdych is still alive and strong in this tournament

Berdych is still alive and strong in this tournament

Other winners include Tomas Berdych (7) aka Berdshite who beat Viktor Triocki 6-4 6-3 6-4. Kevin Anderson (14) took out Richard Gasquet (24) in straight sets which oddly enough seems like an upset to me despite the ranking. Anderson was very decisive in his win 6-4 7-6 7-6 and I expected Gasquet to have done much more than this. However, I guess he had other ideas than living up to my expectations. Tampomic took out Sexy Sam Groth in straight sets 6-4 7-6 6-3 and fellow Aussie Nick Kripsy Kringle Kyrgios won in straight sets 6-3 7-6 6-1.

Goerges is through to the 4th Round of a major

Goerges is through to the 4th Round of a major

On the ladies side, we did not have much of a dramatic turn of events. A lot of the “Upset Queens” were sent packing as several faced each other. Julia Goerges took out Lucie Hradecka in straight sets 7-5 7-6. Hradecka had chances to take at least a set and even push for the match win. However, she lost focus and Goerges found hers at the right moment just when it was waning. Another Upset Queens matchup was Irina-Carmila Begu v Carina Witthoeft. Begu won in straight sets 6-4 6-4. On the other hand, Yanina Wickmayer continued on her upset winning ways when she took out Sara Errani (14) 4-6 6-4 6-3 and through to the 4th round. What is interesting about this victory is the fact that Errani was leading in all 3 sets. However, Wickmayer was on that money train and was not going to let 4th round money pass her by!

I am still here itches! Don't think that lil hiccup will faze

I am still here itches! Don’t think that lil hiccup will faze

All the other top seeded players kept their wits about them and secured straight sets victories. Martha (2) won 6-1 6-1 over Zarina Diyas (31) and Bouchard (7) took out Caroline Garcia 7-5 6-0. Garcia started the match very well but clearly was not about finishing well at all. She let early breaks go by. Simona Halep (3) went through 6-4 7-5 over Bethanie Mattek-Sands, Ekaterina Makarova (10) won over Karolina Pliskova (22) 6-4 6-4 and Shuai Peng (21) took care of Yaroslava Shvedova 7-6 6-3.

Halep is still here too!!

Halep is still here too!!

So there we have it. Day 5’s action! I hope you enjoyed it even if you might be reading it late or at all! 

#TEAMHOTTIES

He's often overlooked but Djoker is goodlooking

He’s often overlooked but Djoker is goodlooking

According to rumours, ... well they're just rumours and won't be repeated here

According to rumours, … well they’re just rumours and won’t be repeated here

Sexy Sam

Sexy Sam

Gorgeous Groth

Gorgeous Groth

And YES I wanna slam Sam

And YES I wanna slam Sam

Pablo Carreno-Busta is HOTNESS, Guillermo Garcia-Lopez ain't too bad himself. THREESOME

Pablo Carreno-Busta is HOTNESS, Guillermo Garcia-Lopez ain’t too bad himself. THREESOME

Karolina Pliskova is cute

Karolina Pliskova is cute

This girl is cute but what I don't get is why is she wearing panty briefs out in public

This girl is cute but what I don’t get is why is she wearing panty briefs out in public

#TEAMWENOTSUREYET

Grigor is losing looks these days. He just ain't doing it for me as of late

Grigor is losing looks these days. He just ain’t doing it for me as of late

Does Akgul Amanmuradova look like ...

Does Akgul Amanmuradova look like …

Nick Kyrgios? STFU Realz!

Nick Kyrgios? STFU Realz!

Mr. Federer’s match in pictures

So Mr. Federer came out as normal, pocketbook and racquet bag

So Mr. Federer came out as normal, pocketbook and racquet bag

Things got sticky going down 0-2 sets

Things got sticky going down 0-2 sets

My play STINKS but I think I can get it together and still win this thing

My play STINKS but I think I can get it together and still win this thing

Nooooooo I can't get it

Nooooooo I can’t get it

FUCK NOOOO I ain't winning this today

FUCK NOOOO I ain’t winning this today

Yeah congratulations and all but don't touch my butt ...

Yeah congratulations and all but don’t touch my butt …

Time to go home and make babies :-)

Time to go home and make babies 🙂

Mirka gurl, I am coming... get ready for me

Mirka gurl, I am coming… get ready for me

They aren’t ready yet! 

Mr. Federer trying to give you the Abs Show but failed

Mr. Federer trying to give you the Abs Show but failed

Marcos trying to give it to you but he's holding it in ... I hope he doesn't stifle himself

Marcos trying to give it to you but he’s holding it in … I hope he doesn’t stifle himself

Marcos Baghdatis during a match

You have two eyes Marcos

You have two eyes Marcos

To see ONE ball

To see ONE ball

Yet you still miss arghhhhh IDIOT

Yet you still miss arghhhhh IDIOT

Time for a medical time out to recuperate

Time for a medical time out to recuperate

Need a Fashion makeover NOW

NOOO Makarova. You can do better than this

NOOO Makarova. You can do better than this

Shuai Peng, we need to fix them edges. They are tore up gurl

Shuai Peng, we need to fix them edges. They are tore up gurl

Kei I am not sure what's going on with the hair accessory ... might be a bit too much

Kei I am not sure what’s going on with the hair accessory … might be a bit too much

Mixed Bag Photos

Can I get your number?

Can I get your number?

WTF is going on there? Who that heifer talking to my man?

WTF is going on there? Who that heifer talking to my man?

A bitch gonna protect her investment and stop these side bitches from taking over

A bitch gonna protect her investment and stop these side bitches from taking over

Andy! Andy! Andy! We LOOOOOVEEE YOUUU

Andy! Andy! Andy! We LOOOOOVEEE YOUUU

I gotta be aware of threats from these twinks too? WTMFF?

I gotta be aware of threats from these twinks too? WTMFF?

Hradecka trying the slipt

Hradecka trying the slipt

Dimitrov showing her how it is DONE!!

Dimitrov showing her how it is DONE!!

And he got his pocketbook too

And he got his pocketbook too

See most of these "fans" be coming out for their people in tank tops etc. However, Richard Gasquet's boys are the only ones shirtless. I wonder why?? Hmmmm

See most of these “fans” be coming out for their people in tank tops etc. However, Richard Gasquet’s boys are the only ones shirtless. I wonder why?? Hmmmm

Why the guy in the Yankee top boobs look bigger than those girls to the side

Why the guy in the Yankee top boobs look bigger than those girls to the side

Look at those hot men sans the one with the hat. He can hold the camera while we get it on in a foursome

Look at those hot men sans the one with the hat. Ain’t nobody here checking for bears! 

Why is his armpits shaved and hers not?

Why is his armpits shaved and hers look it is not?