Archive for September, 2011|Monthly archive page

Live at the US Open 2011 Day 6

In Agnes Radwanska, Alexander Dolgopolov, Andrea Petkovic, Caroline Wozniacki, Fernando Verdasco, Flavia Pennetta, Francesca Schiavone, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Juan Monaco, Mardy Fish, Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Sam Stosur, Serena Williams, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Tommy Haas, US Open, Victoria Azarenka on September 4, 2011 at 8:18 am

Now as much I love tennis, I sorta avoid going to the US Open. The reason being that in the past when I have gone, I was more or less surrounded by idiots. I mean it is amazing how much people go to these events and no next to nothing about the sport. I am not going to knock ignorance because I mean, you are going to the event to learn something. However, my problem is that these idiots are constantly airing their stupidity and they never shut up. Often times, they are arguing points despite facts to the contrary. Anyway, I got a “hookup” and got the chance to purchase a ticket to see Saturday matches ie see Mr. Federer and the Serenanator live. I was not going to pass that up for nothing. I do thank my friend for thinking of me at that critical time when the ticket offer came up. I do appreciate it.

Flushing Meadows here I come

So anyway, I set out on Saturday for Flushing Meadows and everything seem to be working for me. I got in and out of the barber, the bus driver was very nice and stopped for me after seeing me running to get to the bus stop. She did not have to at all as stopped before the bus stop. The trains were there when I got to the stations and by 12:45, I was all ready for Mr. Federer vs. Marin Cilic.

When I left home, Danish Biscuit was dealing with Saw Clown aka Vania King, Tipsarevic had won the first set from Berdych and Francesco Schiabone was down a set. Navarro aka Lady Hobbit was bad beating her countrywoman. By the time I got to Queens, Danish Biscuit crushed King, Berdych retired from the match, Scheepers tried to serve for the match against Schiabone only to be broken and lost the tie-breaker to head to a 3rd set and Navarro was through to the Round of 16. Anyway, I asked the ticket attendant where to go and she said two levels up. Now I imagined that I had most wonderful seats and will be almost court side. However, when I found my spot, I was struggling for oxygen as you very well know that higher altitude causes oxygen deprivation. I was at the very top of the stadium. I could see Manhattan from my seat. Not only was I looking hot but I was feeling hot too with the sun blazing down on me.

My seat

My view from my seat

Anyway, I was still able to see the court and soon enough Mr. Federer came out in his fire engine red along with Marin Cilic. Mr. Federer was not stellar but he was playing well enough because Cilic was clearly overwhelmed by the occasion and despite playing exceptionally well in his first two rounds, he came up short in the end. Mr. Federer’s backhand was the obvious liability on court as it landing consistently in the service box and bouncing up high. I know it will be snack time when he faces more tougher opponents like a Tsonga, D’Joker, Divadal or a Lochness, if he gets that round. Mr. Federer is not guaranteed in the finals of majors anymore with his piss poor play as of late. Anyway, I felt the stadium after the first 3 sets, Mr. Federer being up 2-1 and had a break in the 4th already. I wanted to see other players.

Mr. Federer vs Cilic

By this time, Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova took out Fivehead Jankovic in straight sets and Mardy Fish and Kevin Anderson were on their way in their match. Schiabone had also made another comeback and took the match. So I wandered around the grounds and by this time, Mr. Federer finished off Cilic 6-3 4-6 6-4 6-2.

On my way to see others whilst keeping check of the score on Ashe

I saw Jurgen Meltzer (aka Jurgen Meltdown) of Austria and his doubles partner Philipp Petzschner of Germany

Yearning for Jurgen

Guten Tag!!!

Saw Peng Shuai practicing...she's up against Flavia Pennetta

I even spied Sam D'Stove Stosur out on the practice courts

Caught a lil of the Hantuchova and Radwanska's doubles match...They won after a poor first set

Then I saw this... Fabio Fognini... I really need to work on my Italian

He was practicing with his doubles partner Simone Bolelli but he didn't have his shirt off so...

I went back to watching him... the pictures do not do him justice at all

I saw Alexandr Dolgopolov....the boy who looks like a girl who looks like a boy. I am really impressed with his cool calm demeanor on court. And in person he's not bad looking at all if you ignore the acne. He's always fixing his hair though

He was playing Ivo Karlovic

Ivo, why are your socks dirty?? The clay season is long over and those sucks are dirty.

Aravane Rezai has a phat ass not going to lie

Heineken may have been light but his breath was heavy. Can someone tell me why I was smelling this man's breath even though he never spoke to me and I was behind him all the time. A wind was howling with his halitosis. People do not go to public events if you know you are carrying toxic waste in your mouth.

The Serenanator

While I was wondering about, I checked the score and realized that I had to hurry because the Serenanator was destroying Victoria Azarenka on court. she was already up 4-0. I raced back to my seat….I mean I climb the slopes to get to my seat by which time, the Serenanator was up 5-0. Victoria won a game and Serena closed out the set 6-1. The beginning of the second set was no different from the first and the Serenanator looked poised to put the Serena Sleeper hold on Victoria. The Serenanator failed to convert a chance to go up 2 breaks but had triple match points on Azarenka’s serve but failed to convert any of them.

Victoria Azarenka out wandering wondering where her game has gone

Triple match points

Azarenka sensing a loose moment from the American, seized that moment to break the Serenanator when she served for the match. Things were getting interesting for a few minutes prior Serena was up 5-3 love-40 and now it was 6-5 Azarenka. My throat was dry and I could not deal with the drama. I was definitely vocally rooting for the Serenanator and if she were to loose, it was a long way to the exit. I could not do the “Walk of Shame.” May I could just jump down. That canopy below look like it could take my weight. Right?

WTF Serena?? WTMFF??

Anyway, fortunately, the Serenanator got herself together and took the set to a tiebreaker, which was again tense to say the least for me. 7-5, Serenanator and with that, the match 6-1 7-6; the No 4 seed was out. It is really a crying shame because Victoria Azarenka is a really good player and when she is on form, she is always meeting up the Serenanator a la 2009, 2010 Australian Open and now 2011 US Open. She is one of my hopefuls to win a major because she is really good. I hope she takes this losses and build from it. Anyway, I have to say that the Serenanator is playing really really tough. She is very tactical and is not allowing herself to get behind any opponent. She is psyching out her opponents and right about now, they are all scared.

The Serenanator is splitting the competition

Goodness gracious....that was a close one

The Serenanator giving her winner's on court interview. Mary-Jo Fernandez, those slingbacks is high inappropriate at this international event. They look like your house slippers and I am not even going to comment on your nurse's scrub skirt because I think you already know you get zero style points for that.

You know I was extremely happy with the win so I raced down as close I could to the court (Thank God for the gym!)and took more pictures. I even saw Mary-Jo Fernandez doing the on-court interview.

On my way out of the stadium I saw Richard Williams…

Yeah, my daughter is kicking @$$

Anyway, I went over to Louis Armstrong Stadium to see two men battle it out for a place in the Ladies 4th Round. Kuzi-Rex and Akgul A-man-mu-ra-do-va who looks every bit as a boy as she does on TV. She looks like she can also snuff you out like a candle in the wind. Lynn Welch was the chair umpire for the match (For super die hard fanz like moiself who knows the chair umpires by name.)

Kuzi Rex. Not even going to talk about what she's wearing

Perhaps a bit pre-historic?

Akgul Amanmuradova

By the time, Dolgopolova aka the Boy who looks like a Girl who looks like a boy had taken out Ivo Karlovic and Juan Carlos Ferrero also won when his compatriot and opponent retired from the match. Mardy Fish had also taken care of Kevin Anderson who was putting up a late charge. Anyway, I checked the schedule on my smart phone which was so much more economical than buying a programme for ($20…get the hell outta here USTA. Do you know what I can get for $20 in the real world?) Anywho, I decided to go see some real menz action on Grandstand because it was going to be a Harem of Hotties as Argentina’s Juan Monaco was currently playing Germany’s Tommy Haas and after that “piece de resistance” Tabasco Verdasco vs Baby Ali (All that was going through my mind was “Heaven, must be missin angels”

Juan Monaco of Argentina

Here's a better look. Dios Mio

Tommy Haas

I mean you know I am always a fan of Tommy Haas as I affectionately call him “Head and Shoulders” but in real person, he definitely has a shot to get it. Monaco well, we have to something about that hair but that’s just me nitpicking…he is muy caliente. When I got to the match, he was putting the finishing touches on Head and Shoulders. It is a shame that unfortunate incidents have followed Haas in his career. He was a brilliant player but he got into a motorcycle accident which took him out for like a year I think and also slipped on a loose ball at Wimbledon which caused his ankle to blow up like a balloon. Added to other injuries, he never really made it to his true potential. Anyway, he was out and up comes Verdasco and Tsonga. My eyes were in sugar shock.

Tabasco Verdasco v Baby Ali

Anyway, I have to tell you about an incident that was unfolding as I was watching the match. Now if you haven’t seen to the Billie Jean Tennis Center looking at the graphic below, you can see that the Louis Armstrong stadium is connected to the Grandstand.


Now Kuzi-Rex and Akgul were playing on Armstrong so Baby Ali and Tabasco Verdasco were playing on Grandstand where they were SCHEDULED to play. There were no changes in the schedule. Now, because the men’s matches were a hot ticket, the Grandstand was full but you can look over in the Grandstand from a balcony on Armstrong or if you go to the very top of Armstrong you can look over into the stadium and see the match. I was forced to watch the match from the balcony. It was not a bad view at all. Anyway, after the Kuzi-Rex match, Kuzi Rex won in straight sets and was through to the Round of 16 to face Danish Biscuit, world’s no. 1 Caroline Wozniacki, the officials closed the court (Armstrong) and asked the people to leave including the people who were only inside the stadium to watch the Tsonga v Verdasco match. I have to say that this was really the hot ticket at the time. I mean they were two hot players and also the quality of play was expected to be good. They are both top ranked players.

She' the one in the blue muumuu and her "friend" is next to her in the pink shirt. I was up there watching the match at one point

Anyway, this one young lady took serious exception to security’s mandate that they leave the stadium. She took great offense to this matter and told the security guard, “It;s obvious that the USTA (US Tennis Association) made a MISTAKE by putting the Tsonga match on the smaller court. Therefore allow us to be in the empty stadium.” Now, this girl is either a law/medical student and she went on to “reason” with the man saying that he can simply have one security guard watch them. Mind you it was not just her but an entire crowd of people wanting to line the back wall. This security officer, obviously a religious man because I would have told her what was the MISTAKE beginning with her tragic outfit which was meant either for bedtime or pregnancy and her obvious gay balding (think Chia pet) boyfriend who God forbid was wearing inappropriate shoes with no socks (I just knew he had no socks on….he looked the type) and wearing a size medium pink shirt when he is clearly an XL on a very good day, bursting out of the bloody thing like fat Hulk. But we aren’t here for that and she was not talking to me. Really the audacity of this woman. Of course she asked for the supervisor as if he was going to allow her and her “girlfriend/boyfriend” alone in an empty stadium to stand and look over at a match, something she and shim were at that very moment doing on the balcony. They even offered to find her a good spot but she refused. I mean what if the people were to have acquiesced  and she and he went over and got hurt or worse the victim of a crime (Not like he was going to protect her. I mean I think she looked more the man than he did) Then she would have been all up in arms and blaming the USTA for the entire affair. Did I mention that they had tickets to Arthur Ashe stadium and should have been there instead of screaming like some banshee? You would have thought someone had cut her off in the TJ Maxx line where she got her lil number. She was just quarter past ridiculous at this time. I on the other hand, just walked downstairs and got a perfectly good seat very close to the action and got some really nice shots.

I went and got me way better seats

Way better view!

Not that from above was bad.

A view from the balcony

Anyway after the match… Tsonga totally dominated Verdasco as he was not serving up to par and his weight of shots were totally off. He seems to not be the player he was in 2008/2009. I do not know if he’s getting lazy or perhaps his mind is elsewhere but he has really lost the edge he had before. Tsonga on the other hand was looking really good. I mean he’s the real dark horse pick of this tournament. He has a winning record against D’Juggernaut 5-4, beaten Mr. Federer the last two times they have played including at Wimbledon 2011 where Mr. Federer was up 2 sets to love. Divadal is not so well these days and I know Tsonga will not be intimidated by the Spaniard. However, Tsonga will have to beat the top three players and that’s a very very very very tall order. Anyway, I was saying is that Sloane Stephens lost to Ivanovic the Terrible in straight sets and her countryman D’Juggernaut knocked out Davydenko. Ivanovic next faces the Serenanator and D’Joker will play Dolgopolov. Andrea Petkovic also won her match and will play lady Hobbit in the next round.

This made me smile... you know how much I "love" me some Jennifer Capriati

So all in all that was my day at the US Open. It was really a wonderful experience even though I was by myself. Hope you enjoyed.


Day 5 at the US Open 2011

In Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, Christina McHale, David Ferrer, David Nalbandian, Donald Young, Flavia Pennetta, Irina Falconi, James Blake, John Isner, Juan Martin Del Potro, Maria Sharapova, Nadia Petrova, Nicolas Mahut, Rafael Nadal, Robin Haase, Sabine Lisicki, Sam Stosur, US Open, Vera Zvonareva on September 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

Hey fanz, I know this posting is coming well off schedule but I am really tying to get things done as quickly as possible. So, we are going to go straight into the action. Maria Shriekapova was up against Flavia Pennetta aka Penne Pasta Pennetta. Shriekapova is seeded 3rd at these championships and is heavily favored by the “pundits” to win this title behind the Serenanator. LOL. Let me try to catch my breathe a minute here ……..okay ready. We here are RTF believe that the Russian gets far more hype than she richly deserves and people are not willing to look at the facts and stats of her play. Yes, she is aggressive and is very mentally tough. Behind the Serenanator, Maria is a tough tough cookie. However, being a tough cookie and not being delicious is really a waste in the end. It’s like having the mental fortitude of a Shaolin monk but when it comes to the fight you packing a punch like a baby. So when things got underway in the match, I was not surprise to see that Pennetta was up 4-0 in the first set. What I was looking for was to see whether Penne Pasta could hold it together because Maria was not going to wilt out on the court and sure enough in no time, Shriekapova won 3 straight games. The Italian sensing the need for urgency then closed out the set 6-3. Maria who was 3 match point down, played one of the most ridiculous volleys I have ever seen in my life. A 10-year-old rookie to the sport would have done a way better job. Maria only won 11 of 26 service points. How far does one expect to get with this level of play?

Painful grimace knowing that she has to serve

Anyway, Shriekapova came back roaring and took the second set 6-3 making things interesting for the 3rd set. However, Pennetta have done relatively well here at the Open being the major where she has had the most success. She is an older girl and unlike Heather Watson in the 1st round, she has game and experience and was not going to allow herself to be bullied and screamed out by the Russian. Pennetta held form as Maria’s lack of service ability showed it in true colors. Yes I know she has had shoulder surgery but that was ages ago and she really needs to go back and correct her form. She will not win another major with this sorta of playing. She has largely benefited from a weak WTA tour and at the end of the day, the better players win out. Anyway, she lost the match like I predicted 4-6 and was out of the Open in the 3rd round. She barely won 50% of her service points for the entire match and had 60 errors with no aces and 12 double faults. Had she been playing a Serenanator, she would have been pulverized out on the court.

Penne Pasta Pennetta was spelling danger danger in red for the Russian Maria Shriekapova

Anyway in other wins, Maria Kirilenko made short work of American Christina McHale as did Sabine Lisicki who barely broke a sweat as she destroyed the other American Irina Falconi 6-0 6-1. Zvonareva is also looking good as she makes a bid to get back to the finals as she did last year. Sam D’Stove Stosur took out Nadia Petrova in what was a really tough match 7-6 6-7 7-5. They were both playing to lose but in the end Petrova blinked and Sam won the match. I have to say that despite Petrova wearing a hideous outfit, she is in good shape. No longer Fatrova.

Falconi certainly was not ready for the onslaught that was Lisicki

Lady Gollum is not a happy camper today for sure

Monica Niculescu beat…sorry I mean, dismantled Lucie Safarova aka Mrs. Tomas Berdych aka Lady Gollum in a 6-0 6-1 result. That’s enough to make someone lay or the court for a couple of months. Julia Georges of Germany, an up and coming star of the WTA (well potential star) started nicely against Peng Shuai but you know that old saying, “only those with an injured foot will look to take an early lead” and the Chinese came back like a firestorm and took the match. It was not a real upset because the Chinese was seeded 13th whereas Georges was 17th or 19th if i am not mistaken….19th seed. I just checked it out. However, another German Angelique Kerber took up the slack for Georges and won her match to move into the 4th round.

I think I might have broken lil nicolas

In men’s action, who are still playing their 2nd round matches, it was yet another retirement for a top player. Divadal saw Mahut retire after being down 2-6 2-6. The Frenchman was not going to make it at all against Divadal but it made life easier for the Spaniard. Mr. Brooklyn Decker took out Jack Sock also from Nebraska I think in straight sets. Roddick is quietly going about the draw and is set to meet Divadal in the quarterfinals if they continue to win. John Isner, BFG, took out another American and will face Alex Bogomolov Jr, Russian transplant who won his match.

Haase was on fire against Lochness Monster

Lochness Monster looked like he was on the brink of being slain once again at a major when Robin Haase of the Netherlands quickly jumped to a 2-set to love lead. Murray could not do a thing right out on court. Haase had the answers and was up 7-6 6-2. He played out of his mind and it soon became apparent that he was playing out of his body as well as he called for the trainer and things went down him for him losing the match in 5 sets.

He was lost for 2 sets but he found his way to win the last 3

In other win, Beast Boy Del Potro took out his countryman in straight sets. However, I have to say that I did not like the way he played the last set. He looked very lethargic and was making uncharacteristic mistakes. I know he is trying to find himself out on court and return to the level where he was contending for majors but I am afraid he is some ways off that goal. I had hopes of him giving Nessie a run for his money but after seeing that match, I think he is going to find things hard against Gilles Simon of France who he faces in the next round.

Has the beast finally awoken??

Fiery Ferrer was blazing against Blake in the 2nd round

David Fiery Ferrer took out James Blake in a hurry as did Chin Chela of Argentina and FeFe Lopez who both easily won their matches. Actually Lopez went to a 5th set against a Canadian. David Nalbandian won his match and will face Divadal in the 3rd round. The surprise match of the day was Donald Young who took on Stanislav Wawrinka of Switzerland. Now Wawrinka is not in shape and really needs to lose that gut to be anywhere near his true potential and Young being fit, trim and simply sexual chocolate had the crowd squarely behind him.  The guy has game and pulled out all the stops as he took down the formidable Swiss in 5 sets. It really brought a much needed excitement to the USTA is looking for new male stars. Young will face Chin Chela in the 3rd round and I think Young stands a really great chance of winning that match.

Young is through to the 3rd round after taking out the 14th seed Wawrinka. You want some of this?? I most definitely do.



For the Divadal lovers

Kirilenko is working it in pink

Sexual chocolate and he's more than legal at 22

A lil fire crotch here is Alex Bogomolov of the US. We do love the ginger snap


I do not know what's going on with Nalbandian, he use to be a total he's been demoted to the "unpretties"

See...back in the days he was up there on the hot scale even with the scruff

That's not muscles just plain ole fat on Wawrinka

Diego Junqueira of Argentina was Beast Boy's opponent in the 2nd round. I almost laughed out loud when I saw him. I thought for a minute I was at the rodeo looking at one of the clowns.

I realize they were being serious when no bull came out. WTF, you are FAT man. I can't even believe that you beat someone to get into the 2nd round

James Blake's not ugly but right about now, he's as pretty as a toadstool. He will still get it though.


Praying to God to save her from her bad fashion. Don't let me every wear this horrible dress ever again

WOW this is impressive to say the least. He has game on and off the tennis court.

How many licks till you get to the center of a tootsie pop

Hungover is a killer

WTF Andy? On court in public and mixed company? A bit much now...just a tad bit too much





Day 4 at the US Open 2011

In Andrea Petkovic, Bernard Tomic, Caroline Wozniacki, Christina McHale, Fernando Verdasco, Francesca Schiavone, Irina Falconi, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Mardy Fish, Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, Serena Williams, Tomas Berdych, US Open, Victoria Azarenka on September 2, 2011 at 9:31 am

It seems that I can’t help being late with these posting for the blog at every major competition. Every major championship, I run my body to the ground with work, gym and staying up late to either watch matches or work on commentary for the blog.

I need sleep so badly!!

Notwithstanding that currently the IAAF (International Association of Athletics Federations) World Championships in Degu, South Korea is taking place right now so I am staying up to watch those championships as well. I have to admit that I love track and field. I must to confess that I am currently suffering from diabetes of the eye because of high consumption of eye candy on screen. I swear I am badly in need of ocular insulin as I am close to going into a coma.

I can feel the cavities forming on on my eyes as we speak

Anyway, I am digressing and we need to catch up with Day 4 action on the court. Action on the Arthur Ashe court was merely a tennis clinic on both the ladies and men’s draws as the top players schooled their lesser opponents on the art of a good ole fashion beat down. In the case of the ladies, 3 matches were played meaning 6 players and 6 sets of tennis. There were 3 winners who won a combined 36 games where as their 3 adversaries won altogether 5 games. YES, 5 the number between 4 and 6. Francesco Schiabone got things on the way with a romping of Marijana Lucic of Croatia 6-1 6-1. Next up the Serenanator demolished Dutch Michaella Krajicek 6-0 6-1. If the name Krajicek sounds familiar to you tennis fanz, well she is the half sister of 1996 Wimbledon Champ Richard Krajicek. Danish Biscuit not to be felt out of the fight fest took out another Dutch opponent Arantxa Rux 6-2 6-0. These women are all in form and definitely looking to claim the title come next week Saturday night.

You think you ready for me? Come and smell what the Serenanator is cooking?

Other winners include Jelena Five head Jankovic who beat another Jelena in the form of Jelena Dokic in straight sets. Dokic has yet to recapture that massive potential she had in 98 when she made it to the Wimbledon semis after beating defending champion Martina Hingis 1st round. Or perhaps it is time that we actually say she was never really that good to begin with and simply enjoyed a wonderful tournament. Albeit that it must be said that she has had a lot of off court distraction, which definitely affected her play. If the old adage is true that one had to strike when the iron is hot, then Ms. Dokic, your iron has long run cold. As we are dealing with Serbs, it should be mentioned that Ana Ivanovic aka Ivanovic the Terrible has made it through to the 3rd round when her opponent defaulted from the tournament and handed the Serb a ticket to the 3rd round, something she has been finding it incredibly hard to do since winning the French Open in 2008.

Petkovic pounding her chest giving the warrior cry

Andrea Petkovic, though German, has a Serbian father, also found herself in the 3rd round but faced a tough match from China’s Jie Zheng. Zheng was blazing the court for a set and a half. Despite her diminutive size, she was blasting winners from every angle and forcing the errors from the German. However, Petkovic got her act together and soon battled her way back into the match taking it in 3 sets. She can be a very dangerous floater and she will join Kuzi-Rex and Carlo Suarez-Narravo aka Lady Hobbit from Spin in the 3rd round.

Vania KIng aka Saw Clown. (WTF up with your eyes? THey are kinda freaking me out!)

Two Americans made it big yesterday as well, Vania King and Slaone Stephens defeated higher seeded opponents in straight sets and gave the US something to scream about. Stephens showed true grit as she took out Shahar Peer (23) of Israel. I have to say that Peer was not playing up to her true potential and allowed herself to succumb to the moment as the crowd was all cheering for the American Stephens. I have actually seen Stephens play in real person several years ago at the Madison Square Garden. She has some ways to go before she can contend for titles but she is definitely heading in the right direction. Vania King totally annihilated Jarmila Gajdasova (Guydasova) the 29th seed if I am not mistaken.

Sloane Stephens of the USA

With the Serenantor, King and Stephens win, they join Christina McHale and Irina Falconi in the 3rd round giving the US 5 females in the round of 32. This is really good news for the USTA as they have been dying for some really talent prospect waiting in the wings for the post Williams’ sisters era. Nevertheless, in regards to this young crop of talent, I doubt it very much if any of them are going past the 3rd round and the Serenanator will be facing the 4th seed Victoria Azarenka who dispatched of Argentine Gisela Dulko in order to get to the 3rd round; a match worthy of the finals. Shame it had to be so early and you know what? I will be watching that match live on Saturday in Arthur Ashe Stadium….YIPEE…

See you on Saturday. You're my special guest RTF and you'll get exclusive coverage and interviews

On the men’s side, Mr. Federer schooled his Israeli’s opponent, Dudi Sela who needed a parting-of-the-Red-Sea-with-a-staff-epic-size miracle in order to upset the Swiss. Mr. Federer took him out dropping just 7 games if I am not mistaken. However, who was even more impressive was D’Juggernaut who took Berlocg 6-0 6-0 6-2. It was a lesson in sports cruelty. I mean the guy on was Arthur Ashe stadium prime time and Harlequeen was just embarrassing him as if he has slapped his girlfriend or something. While we are on the subject of D’Joker, I should mention it that D’Joker has just been named UNICEF or UN Ambassador for Serbian children. Considering Serbia’s recent past, it is a great thing that Novak is stepping up to help his country’s youth move forward to a peaceful future. I mean I give him a lot of hateration but he does step up at times and he is fiercely loyal to his Serbs.

Berlocq was beaten like a stepchild

Anyway in other men’s matches, Mardy Fish is showing fine form as he won his 2nd round match and so is Tomas Berdych who just demolished Fabio Fognini 7-5 6-0 6-0. Baby Ali also looked great when he took on Sergei Bubka who is the son of the famous Sergei Bubka, 1988 Olympic pole vault champion and current world record holder. However, Bubka Jr, would have needed a pole vault in order to get over the Frenchman and simply went to the locker room to collect his 2nd round cheque as he was out of the tournament.

Baby Ali is all smiles and dancing so far at the US Open

Nikolay Davydenko, Tabasco Verdasco, Tommy Haas aka Head and Shoulders, Juan Monaco also won as did Serb Janko Tipsarevic. Marin Cilic destroyed Bernard Tomic 6-1 6-0 6-2. That Cilic forehand is monster and does a lot of damage to his opponent. Ivo Karlovic disrupted Richard Gasquet’s bid to get to the 3rd round as he took him out in 4 sets. Beetlejuice also saw himself booking a flight on that same Air France as Gasquet as he went out in 5 sets to 2003 finalist Juan Carlos Ferrero. Now I of course am not surprised by this result. Ferrero is a good player but Beetlejuice as always wastes a lot of time exerting unnecessary energy on court. I mean, this ghostly terror is at 100% full throttle from the jump and always contorting his body in the most awkward of positions in order to hit shots. I do not like to say this but the bloody guy acts like a complete jackass on court.

I think at times Monfils forget what it is he does for a living, which is to play tennis. WTF is this shot all about? And I bet you he lost it.

He thinks people are laughing with him but they are usually laughing at him. Monfils really executes a good match. He does not construct points well, thinking that his physical abilities will carry him through the day. He has played 24 major events and only made it past the 3rd round 8 of those times. He is too good of a player to be regulated to the bottom heap. I hope one day he realizes his true potential because right about now, I find him to be obnoxious to the nth degree notwithstanding his beauty deficiencies.


Shahar Peer looking smoldering hot in red. Too bad her game parted from her like the Red Sea

A lil scruffy is Ferrero but he can still definitely get it

Oh Donald oh Donald oh Donald

I don't really think she's cute but I guess some people do....Mrs. Harlequeen, Jelena Ristic. What's with those shoulder pads? We are not in the 80's


I don't even know what to tell Francesco anymore because this is just half past ridiculous o' clock. Really?? I thought we spoke about how pink does you no favors. She looks like a rookie drag queen

One of the least ugliest pictures I have seen of him

Kuzi-Rex is not a cutie but I have to give her credit for getting that hair done. It looks really nice today and the outfit isn't so bad at all

Really?? Really?? Just a tad bit too much if you ask me


I have to turn away or else I might turn to stone

Are you seriously the editor of a fashion magazine with this look??

Willie playing with ballz..

Oh baby it's okay. You can beat me on court today but I will deal with you tonight in boudoir. (Phillip to Janko)

When I pull the lever, you squeeze you nipples okay??

Gurl...that cat is about to burst outta the bag. Can't you hear it caterwauling?




Day 3 US Open 2011

In Andy Murray, Andy Roddick, Caroline Wozniacki, Christina McHale, David Ferrer, Irina Falconi, Li Na, Maria Sharapova, Marian Bartoli, Petra Kvitova, Robin Soderling, Sabine Lisicki, Sam Stosur, US Open, Venus Williams on September 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm

So Day 3 has been completed at the US Open and here is your daily round up. But before I bring on the Realz Newz, I have to keep it realz for a bit. Now the USTA decided to stretch the first round matches to three days instead of the usual two days. I think this mostly applied to the men’s draw more so than the women’s. Nonetheless, this is not an unusual occurrence seeing as the French start play on a Sunday than the traditional Monday and I think Wimbledon because of rain delays, do also stretch it out to three days as well. However, with all that being said, what I do not understand is why ladies end up playing matches on two consecutive days of singles matches. Playing at a major is very stressful to begin with, added to that there are usually long waits and a lot of the players are entered in the doubles and mixed doubles draws as well. USTA get it together. This is totally absurd at this high level of the game. 

Yanina Wickmayer from Belgium 2009 US Open semi-finalist had to retire from her second round match having played her 1st round the day before. WTF USTA??

Now, there have been several notable withdrawals for the US Open this year including that of Kim Clijsters aka Mommy Dearest, Hewitt. However, at the start of play on Monday, several players  retired from their matches. Yesterday, the third day, two big names also retired but before the start of their matches; Robin Hood Soderling and Ebony Starr Venus Williams. Robin Hood stated that his head and stomach were aching him and all this stemmed from a throat problem…Excuse me? Come again? Severe head and stomach aches resulting from throat infection? Hmmm, I am no doctor but this certainly sounds like someone put something dirty in his mouth, got overexcited, scratched his throat and almost choked as he tried to swallow too much of whatever it was he put in his mouth. He is also suffering from a wrist injury. Limp wrist??

Hopes he get well soon. In the mean time, can I check his temperature.

Let me check your pulses! I am a professional

On the other hand, Ebony Starr was set to play Germany’s Sabine Lisicki, 2011 Wimbledon semifinalist which everyone was looking forward to in an effort to really gauge the American’s level of play at this major. However, according to Lisicki she saw Ebony Starr dressed and ready to go but was soon informed by the tournament referee that she was in the 3rd round by virtue of a walkover; her opponent cannot play the match. There was of course mystery surrounding this withdrawal of Ebony Starr because she looked healthy in her 1st round match, albeit sickening in that hideous outfit. There were a lot speculation about the reason for the withdrawal and I for one threw my dime piece in. Thinking that her new outfit was even more hideous than the last and it made her violently ill. Or even that she actually saw the match footage and became hysterical over the fact that she went on court, primetime in a black pleated dress with white lace back. The trauma of such realization, immediately led a severe bout of fashion diarrhea.


But then again, she's a tough girl. She has had far more serious bouts of fashion diarrhea

Nonetheless, a statement soon came out that Ebony Starr was suffering from an auto-immune virus which was causing pain and joint discomfort. This disease known as Sjögren’s syndrome,  chronic condition, which can spark extreme fatigue, joint pain, and increased risk for developing lymphoma, a form of cancer, or other serious complications. Here is a link to an article with more information: Thus unfortunately, there is no Ebony Starr to talk about at this tournament. It’s really sad because Ebony Starr is a dangerous competitor here at the open. She has an amazing record here. With zero matches under her belt for the summer last year, she made it to the semifinals and was a couple of points away from winning the entire thing. I hope this is not the end of this tennis legend. Her fans have high high heavenly hopes that she will rise again from the ashes. Hopefully leaving those horrendous pieces on there to burn. RTF is a HUGE fan of this player and makes no bones about it. Everyone here at RTF LOVES YOU even though we hate on your fashion all the time. 

Hope to see you back in the winner's row

WOW WOW WOW. Sometimes you get it OH SO RIGHT

Anyway to the Realz Tenis Newz. So Lochness Monster made it through to his 2nd round match. He started off shaky but soon found his range. He considers himself a title contender LOL but I am not going to beat a monster back for trying.

Nessie getting into the swing of things at the US Open

Beast Boy Del Potro looked particularly impressive as he dismantled his opponent. He is looking every bit as impressive as he did when he won this title in 2009. Watch out top half of the draw. FeFe Lopez of Spain also won his match as did John Isner who took out the Cypriot Marcos Fatdatis (sorry Connie). Another American Alex Bogomolov Jr also won his match as did Julien Benneteau of France who knocked out 10th seed, Nicolas Almagro.

Benneteau trying to keep a cool head as he upset Almagro

Andy Roddick, aka Mr. Brooklyn Decker seemed in cruise control for the first 2 sets against Michael Russell also from the US. All of a sudden, Mr. B Decker starting losing his focus, his ever powerful forehand was losing steam so much so that his backhand was more effective. But in the end, Mr. Decker got it together and pulled out the match in 4 sets.

Mr. Brooklyn Decker is the 21st seed. SMH...Things are not going for well for him.

In other newz on the men’s tour, Super Gemini doubles team of Mike and Bob Bryans have lost their first round match to Ivo Karlovic and Frank Moser, an unseeded seeded team.

Au revoir Fatoli. Have you seen the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man. Yes I have, he lives on Bartoli middle lane

On the ladies side, the other big newz also came from Americans as Christina McHale and Irina Falconi took out two top seeded played. Falconi took out the 14th see Dominika Cibulkova from Slovenia former Ms. Beetlejuice and McHale took out Marion Bartoli aka Fatoli aka Gloria the Hippo aka La Petite Grosse. They are young players so it is exciting for the US to have someone who can win a match other than the Williams sisters. Be prepared to see a media storm over these two girls especially McHale as she is from Jersey.

Falconi. I don't understand why is it that she has her American flag. So extra and unnecessary. No need to rub your victory in Cibulkova's face as if it were the battle of countries.

Anyway in other wins, Shriekapova won her match “quite comfortably” though her serving yips still persists. D’Stove Stosur won as did Julia Goerges, Penne Pasta Pennetta, Maria Kirilenko and fellow Russian Nadia Fatrova. The 14th and 10th seeds soon had company as the 12th seed was dismissed off court. Alexandra Dulgheru who beat Wimbledon Champion Petra Kvitova in the 1st round, went out tamely 6-3 6-0 to fellow Romanian Monica Niculescu. American Madison Keys, the youngest player in the draw lost as well.  Well that’s all folks..  

Nadia Fatrova Petrova. Gurl I thought we spoke about this outfit. You are wearing bricks for pattern? Seriously?


Hotties… VOLCANO HOTNESS Today..

VOLCANIC EXPLOSION though I have to call out Anna (far right) for those shoes and FeFe (far left) you wearing New Balances. Ehhhh..unforgivable

Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! You said we should forgive . Check out the shirt. Oh yes FeFe I want to love and fcuk you too.

WURK IT Barbara..

He thinks he's getting some. Mofo I am drinking wine not sniffing coke.

Another look... I need to get my Spanish together... maybe he can be my tutor

Kim Sears, this beauty is going out with the beast, Lochness monster


WOW I hope I never see this after midnight.

I like how she is trying to help her cause by adding the earrings. Bless her soul. E for Effort!

Excuse me... Are you a boy or a girl? Let me think about it for a minute?

I guess this ham is done

Mixed Bag

You wanna smell my ballz??

Looking like radioactive red kryptonite

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world Life in plastic, it's fantastic! you can brush my hair (Aqua)

Me caveman, take caveman home to cave for making fire by rubbing our sticks.