Wimbledon 2014: Day 4

That’s how I feel right now .. like I could collapse

Well again, I am working on very little sleep here … So Day 4 was all ablaze with the men’s match up of Divadal v Lukas Rosol. Rosol you would remember defeat Divadal in 5 sets back in 2012. However, Divadal beat Rosol earlier this year in Doha in straight sets. Nonetheless, you know how the media can be. Anyway, so for a minute, it looked like Rosol was going to score the upset again. He won the 1^st set 6-4 and was up a break in 2^nd set.

The crows were buzzing overhead to pick up the Divadal entrails

However, he got broken but was able to force it to a tiebreaker where he had the set on his racquet up 5-4. He lost one of those points but got set point at 6-5 but this time on Divadal’s serve. Divadal came up with the goods and took the set and in essence the match. Divadal broke Rosol early in sets 3 and 4 and though Rosol would get it back on serve in the 4^th set 4-4, he got broken immediately and Divadal served it out 4-6 7-6⁶ 6-4 6-4. Needless to say, the result was disappointing. I mean Rosol had a look at a 2-0 sets love lead but basically choked. I mean Divadal does this to players. For two sets, they have good looks at a huge advantage and he dares them to take it. But it seems these players, Klizan, Djoker, Fake Fire Ferrer and Rosol cannot get over that hurdle of really beating Divadal. I also feel like I jinxed Rosol as I was determined not to watch the match but I got curious when he was leading and took a peek. #Icant #Ijustcant

Suck on that Realz. I am coming for your main man Mr. Federer

Anyway onto other matches: Mr. Federer was in vintage form against Gilles Muller 6-3 7-5 6-3. Although rain interrupted play and they had to get off court to close the roof, Mr. Federer returned still in stellar form. The numbers were very impressive from Mr. Federer, along with the 25 aces, he had 1 double fault dropped only 9 points on serve with 44 winners and 5 errors. His biggest serve 127mph was even bigger than Muller’s at 125mph. Mr. Federer never faced a break point. It was like Mr. Federer was playing Andy Roddick all over again. Muller had that 2 dimensional game; try and get a huge 1^st serve in and then crack on the forehand. However, Muller is much more comfortable up at net than Roddick though but Mr. Federer was in target practice mood. In the presser, the journalists pointed out to Mr. Federer that every time he has beaten Muller, he went on to win the tournament.

Q.  Three times you have played Gilles before now and — you’ve gone on to win the tournament.
ROGER FEDERER:  Oh, really?  Ohh.  Are you sure?  (Laughter.) I’ll go check it out … I’m very happy to be
through and happy to hear the news.

Mr. Federer … that’s all

Contrastingly, fellow Swiss Stan the Man Wawrinka (5) was somewhat messy in his 2^nd round match. Yen-Hsun Lu had chances to really make something of this match. Grass is not Wawrinka’s favourite surface and added to this, Wawrinka gave him many looks to really take this match. Lu served for the 1^st set but got broken and was up 5-2 in the breaker only to let Stan back into the set to take it. Even in the 4^th set, after taking the 3^rd set, Lu had a chance to serve for it at 5-4 had he converted on the break point in the 8^th game. Nonetheless it was he who was on the defensive as Stan broke him and served it out for a 7-6 6-3 3-6 7-5 victory.

We’ll take whatever wins we can get. So lay off my case Realz

Both Dennis the Menace Raonic (8) and Kei Horseteethikori (10) made short work of two Americans to move through to the 3^rd round. Dennis the Menace took out Jock Sock 6-3 6-4 6-4 and Horseteethikori took out Denis Kudla 6-3 6-2 6-1. Mountain Troll beat Jarkko Nieminen 7-6 7-6 7-5. Tommy Robredo (23) also won his match in straight sets over France’s Adrian Mannarino 6-4 6-1 7-6. Other winners include last year’s quarterfinalist, Lukas Kubot as well as Denis Istomin and Mikhail Kukushkin. Baby Ali (14) who finally finished up his 2^nd round match against American Sam Querrey aka the Grinch 4-6 7-6 6-76-3 14-12. They were 9-9 at the end of the previous day’s play.

Baby Ali doing the happy dance

Nick Kyrgios sent Gasquet packing

Unfortunately, the other two top French men were not so lucky in their 2^nd round matches. Resident clown Beetlejuice (24) went out to Jiri Vesely of Czech Republic. Beetlejuice dropped the first two sets and then rallied to take the next two in breakers. Now you would think someone of Beetlejuice’s experience he would be able to find a way to win it in the 5^th. Nope, he mucked about the place and Vesely broke him in the 9^th game and served it out for a 7-6 6-3 6-7 6-7 6-4 victory. The other Frenchman, Gasquet (13) was facing a 19-year-old wild card entrant in the form of Nick Kyrgios of Australia. Gasquet was up 2-0 sets in the match and allowed Kyrgios to take the next two. He would have 9; that’s NINE match points and unable to convert any of them. Kyrgios took it 3-6 6-7 6-4 7-5 10-8. There was another upset, Philipp Khlschreiber (22) was also knocked out in 5 sets by Simone Bolelli.

Serenanator was very serene on court as she dismantled Scheepers … Wait is Martha saying shite about me

On the women side, Serenanator (1) and Shriekapova (5) are on a collision course with each other in the quarterfinals. They both dismantled their respective opponent. ReRe won 6-1 6-1 and Martha 6-2 6-1. Halep (3) aka Mrs. Koolaide was supposed to play yesterday but rain suspended play in the afternoon and it would be played today. Carebear Kerber (9) won over Heather Watson 6-2 5-7 6-1. Now I like Watson as she has a really fun personality or so it seems via Facebook etc. However, what bothers me about her and a lot of the young players on the tour is that they really are “opportunists.” They cannot win unless the top players are choking. They cannot create anything on their side to remotely hurt the “big girls;” they rely heavily on others mistakes and not them taking the offensive. Take Watson, she fought her way into the 2^nd set and closed it out 7-5. Come 3^rd set, NOTHING! NADA! NOUGHT! She almost went down 0-6. Consider Muguruza, Bouchard and Halep at the French against Shriekapova. They only got to the 3^rd set and again they were not able to do anything even though the momentum was in their favour.

What you going to do about it?

Not today Satan! Not today! Jehovah talk to her, please! I am trying to be a good girl at Wimbledon. She is trying to bring Laquanda on court. Laquanda is not allowed to come out. She’s on probation. She’s not nasty. She’s just real. Keeps it real. And you just definitely don’t want to cross her. Because you cross her, then she snaps. I don’t speak to her very often. I try never to see her. She’s nuts. Spare her Jehovah in these words I pray. Amen

Meanwhile, Eva had this to say on the matter, Martha best to chill. I won’t be able to protect you if Laquanda comes on court. I can barely protect myself.

Adje!!! Ana is on court and not Ivanovic the Terrible

Anyway, speaking of Bouchard (13) she won her match in straight sets. She could potentially meet Serenanator in the Round of 16. Ana Ivanovic (11) so far is on court in her first two matches as she too moved through to the 3^rd round. No sign so far of Ivanovic the Terrible. Last year’s semifinalist and finalist Kristin Flipkens (24) and Sabine Losicki (19) both won their 2^nd round matches in straight sets. Andreas Petkovic (20) and Lady Cornemort (25) aka Alize Cornet of France are also through to the 3^rd round both winning in 3 sets. Cornemort will face the Serenanator in the 3^rd round. Cornemort beat the Serenanator earlier this year, so it is a re-match with ReRe looking for the revenge kill. Other winners of interest who also made it to the 3^rd round include Yaraslova Shvedova who took out last year’s quarterfinalist Kaia Kanepi in 3 sets, American Madison Keys also won in 3 sets as well as fellow American Alison Riske who took out Camila Giorgi 7-5 6-2. Carlo Suarez-Navarro (15) got dismissed in three sets by Zarina Diyas.

 The Divadal’s hair raising problem

First it looks like this

Then this

midway it start looking like wet feathers

And then even he can’t deal with the mess

ARGHHH I’ve thinning hair… Why can’t I get Roger’s locks

Well good thing I have a decent body to compensate

Don’t even know what to say about this hair

WTF indeed Carlo? We are all wondering why you look like this

What a handsome lady

Anyone else noticing how much happier Lochness Monster seem. I mean I’ve never seen him smile so often. If this continues, I might have to call him Puff the Magic Dragon

Just hanging with the boys

Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction?

Sometimes ….

Now to worry, you’re not alone.

Yeah I had to cover it up because gurl, it is like the Amazon down there.

Do you think we look foolish? No. I think we might just look ridiculous

Hey gurl

Well how you doing?

 

 

 

Wimbledon 2014: Day 2

Day 2

So here we are with Day 2 at the 2014 Wimbledon Championships. Nearly all matches were completed and most of the big names got through to the 2^nd round. However, there were some upsets mostly on the women’s side. The men seem to be in it for the money; 1^st round money is very good but 2^nd round money is even better.

Divadal finally made it to the 2nd round of a grass court tournament

Divadal (2) won his 1^st round match … well that is to say that he finally won a match on grass. He took out Martin Klizan 4-6 6-3 6-3 6-3. Interestingly enough they met last year at the French Open in the 2^nd round. The scoreline was the same. Klizan had his chances to do much more but he could not execute on the big points. Divadal does not look so smooth but it does not matter. A win is a win. You don’t win a major in the first week but you sure can lose one. Things are even more interesting because guess who Divadal is playing in the 2^nd round …. None other than Lukas Rosol himself; the man who started Divadal’s troubles on grass back in 2012 when he dismissed him at Wimbledon in the 2^nd round. After that loss, Divadal disappeared from tour claiming “The Knees were acting up.” He returned to the tour in February 2013. Divadal did not lose a single match on hard court all of 2013. Now I am not starting any rumours here, I am just stating facts. Rosol took out French hotness Benoit Paire in his opening round match 6-3 3-6 7-6 6-4. It is very very very very unlikely that Rosol will score another upset but non-fanz of Divadal will be ever hopeful that lightening will strike twice.

SHIT! I thought I was going to get that upset today

Anyway we digress, Baby Ali (14) finished up his match against Meltdown by serving it out at love 6-1 3-6 3-6 6-2 6-4. When rain interrupted play on Monday, Baby Ali was up 5-4 in the 5^th. Also finishing up his match was Sam Querrey aka The Grinch. He knocked out fellow American Bradley Klahn 6-7 6-4 6-1 7-5.

Even though he only played one game today, you know we hardly need an excuse to show Baby Ali

Mr. Federer (4) won his match with relative ease 6-1 6-1 6-3. He took out Italian Paolo Lorenzi. Mr. Federer had 9 aces, 40 winners and 20 errors. However, a lot of those errors came about as a result of poor execution. I can’t deal with a sloppy Federror. He needs to do better. His level of play will suffice for the scrubs and lower tiers of the ATP but when he meets the likes Goonie Gulbis, Divadal et al, it will not hold up at all. Nonetheless we move on: Fellow Swiss player, Stan the Man (5) or “Stanimal” as he being called… for me Wawrinka cannot be a “Stanimal” when he is losing regular tour matches to scrubs on a regular basis. When he has multiple majors and master series title, then he’ll be “Stanimal” for now he is just “Stan the Man” who beat Divadal’s @$$ in the Aussie Open final causing Divadal to claim “bad back.” Anyway, Stan the Man took out hotness Joao Sousa 6-3 6-4 6-3. Stan had 18 aces. That’s some big boy serving.

Mr. Federer

Stan the Man

Other seeded players who won include up and coming contenders Milos Raonic aka Dennis the Menace (8), BFG Isner (9), Kei Nishikori (10), Richard Gasquet (13) who needed 5 sets to get rid of his opponent, James Duckworth 6-7 6-3 3-6 6-0 6-1. Jerzy Janowicz (15) also needed 5 sets to get past Somdev Dewarman 4-6 6-3 6-3 3-6 6-3. FeFe Lopez (19) who must be super exhausted having played two weeks of tennis coming into this tournament. Lopez won three tiebreaker sets to move through to the 2^nd round. Philipp Kohlschreiber (22) won in straight sets as did Beetlejuice (24). Tommy Robredo (22) won his 1^st round match in 4 sets.

I gotta say that one arm bit looks really cool on Dennis the Menace Raonic

Several players of interest also won today including Nick Kyrgios of Australia (a hottie, if you like that thickish of Greek and Malay heritage) and fellow Aussie Llyeton Hewitt. Gilles Muller who took out Andy Roddick in 2005 1^st round also won as did American Jock Sock, Lukas Kubot, quarterfinalist here last year, Jarrko Nieminen and Mikhail Kukushkin. There were several upsets including unseeded Alejandro Falla who did well on the grass leading up to Wimbledon; he lost in straight sets to Ante Pavic of Croatia. Guillermo Garcia-Lopez (28) lost to Dusan Lajovic in 5 sets; Ivo Karlovic (29) lost in straight sets to Franck Dancevic and Dimitri Tursunov (32) lost to Denis Istomin. So that’s about it for the men’s.

BFG Isner will now be known as the Troll

Oh I just want to point you to a story regarding John Isner aka BFG … (See link below) http://trollandgarros.tumblr.com/post/89253044033/isner-puts-his-white-privilege-on-display-says-the  It is a really good read. See I really have an issue with Isner’s comments. First off, I do not know why or how he felt he had the necessary “credentials” to weigh in on this matter. However, I like the fact that the author of this piece served up some “truth tea detox” Second since I am in FULL agreement … well let me know say full but I am with the author on many of his salient points AND also somewhat dismayed by Isner’s ensuing comments when others tried to enlighten him; I am going to change Isner’s name. From henceforth, BFG which means Big Friendly Giant will just still be “Troll” or perhaps “Mountain Troll” I would really like to hear from you on this matter. I do not understand how people can think “Redskins” is okay to be calling a professional football time. I mean I do not even know why the sport is even called “football” but we not even going to touch that one.

BFG is now a Troll

On the women’s side: The Serenanator (1) is looking good. She had a tough opening service game which took her 10 minutes to complete. She later said that she played well but the girl was hitting some good shots. Anyway, the demons did not come out because the Serenanator was all over Ana Tatishivili as she took her out 6-1 6-2. She had 31 winners of which 16 were aces and 13 unforced errors. Those are some healthy numbers; very very healthy and positive. Hopefully she keeps this up because the road ahead is going to be intense and there can be no letting up of the focus and intensity.

The Serenanator is ready to do battle at Wimbledon

Simona Halep (3) who I swear looks like the Koolaid Juice Jug (I know it is wrong but I swear it is what comes to mind every single time) also had a quick affair on the court. She moved through in straight sets as did Bratzwanska (4), Shriekapova (5) who is supposedly looking good 6-1 6-0 but judging by the numbers, 13 winners, 9 errors, 3 aces and 5 double faults, 43% on 2^nd serve, I am going to say “meh.” This is Shriekapova just handling the Lady planktons with her usual ruthless flair. Carebear Kerber (9) took out lil sis Radwanska in straight sets also. Ivanovic The Terrible (11) was almost in trouble against Francesco Schiabone. However, it seemed as though Schiabone had other ideas in mind than winning the big points. Maybe it was the longer hair or the slight attempt to feminize herself that was mucking up her game. Who knows and who cares? Anyway, Ana won in straight sets. 2013 finalist Sabine Losicki (19) also won in straight sets. The German took out Israeli Julia Glushko 6-2 6-1.

I think Shriekapova is going to a picnic or something with that much bags

Other seeded players who came through include Genie Bouchard (13), Carlo Suarez-Navarro (15), Danish Biscuit Wozniacki (16), Kristopher Flipkens (24) last year’s semifinalist, Cornemort (25) and Klara Koukalova (31) who took out American Taylor Townsend in straight sets 7-5 6-2. Other winners of interest are Jie Zheng, Madison Keys who took out another young hopeful Monica Puig in straight sets, Varvane Lepchenko who dismissed Tsetvana Pironkova (Granny Vee thanks you Lepchenko), Heather Watson of England, Belinda Bencic of Switzerland and Camila Giorgi of Italy.

Bye Gurl Pironkova! Bye!

There were several key upsets on the ladies side biggest of which was Fivehand Jungle Witch Jankovic (7) who was dismantled by Kaia Kanepi, quarterfinalist here last year. Kanepi took care of business 6-3 6-2. Fattychunkova (26) lost in 3 sets to American Alison Riske as did fellow Russian Kuzi Rex (28) who lost to Michelle Larcher De Brito. Roberta Vinci (21) and doubles partner Sara ETranni (14) will be concentrating solely on doubles this Wimbledon as they were both booted out of the singles draw in three sets. Vinci lost to Donna Vekic 4-6 6-4 4-6 and ETranni lost to Caroline Garcia 6-2 6-7 5-7. Sorana Cirstea (29) was also sent packing when she lost to American qualifier Victoria Duval 4-6 6-3 1-6. American Christina McHale was also dismissed.

I was this close to winning the match!

Kuzi-Rex what a disappointment!!

Anyway, that’s all folks … Day 3 action will feature Lochness Monster, Djoker, Granny Vee, GHW Kvitova, Tampomic, Maria’s hangbag Dimitrov, Bratzwanska, Berdshite and many others… So PLEASE check us out. DO NOT FORGET TO COMMENT even if just about the pictures…

So Bartoli showed up on Centre Court and she was all teary eye … I too got all teary eye watching this hideous outfit unfold (White and off white lace combination and the necklace #icant)

Now I don’t want to hate but really gurl? Really? Those shoes? I think they are to hide her infamous cankles but still

Even Lisicki is like WTF?? Gurl what happened? Those shoes honey are just You look…you look… you look so plentiful. Eating well in retirement I see”  Meanwhile, what is that stain on the bottom of that “dress” ? Actually, I don’t wanna know

Joao Sousa from Portugal

Martin Klizan, you might be a loser in the 1st round but you’re a winner in our hearts here at Realz… and we have a “special prize” for you

You lost on the tennis court today Daniela but you’re definitely winning in fashion court

Veteran hottie around these parts is looking a bit weathered but he can still get it

We don’t even know his name and we’re not even trying to find out either….What we need to know is where he’s staying

Lisicki looking cute as ever … we’re gonna ignore the snaggletooth

Beetlejuice… gurl.. this is definitely not cute even by your standards

Beetlejuice got himself cornrows … Definitely has not improved his look but to be honest, it doesn’t hurt it either

Of course you we gotta talk about Carlo

Francisco is trying to give us femme realness

I’ve fallen….

And I can’t get up

Gurl, why you acting like a heifer eating the grass? We don’t behave like that at Wimbledon

Don’t you wish you had a sexy coach like me

Tiann, I think Danish Biscuit is saying hello to you …. and she’s being a bit insensitive about the matter

Hewitt is going all out to stay in the game

Mrs. Hewitt keeping tabs on her “investment” This mofo better not get injured again

Is Patrick M going to sing an aria?

He is channeling some soprano realness here

Cornemort had a nose bleed on court … blood magic I say … blood magic!!

Now we have discussed “Gayneisa” here before; where “straight” guys blame their homosexual tendencies on liquor. “I got really wasted with the guys again and then one thing (my pants) lead to another (their pants) and then another (the undies) and next thing you know, his penis was in my mouth and mine was in his. I don’t know why that keep happening. I sobered up and was like Broooo we are never doing this again”

Gaynesia is not to be confused with just being “gay” BIG DIFFERENCE

This is gaynesia. See the different? Good

 Now we have a new Realz term for you: “Gaylusion” this is where straight women cannot seem to see they’re a fag hag. I mean look at this scene. Holla if you believe there is a straight couple in the midst wearing a yellow shirt .. those two girls to the side in those short shorts may have just realized that this just might not be where they need to be at “Gurl, I don’t think any of these guys are our types. Really? Why you say that? Gurl look at the front row, it’s a men’s chorale up in here. Look at that soprano in the green shorts! We need to go.” Lady in the red cap, she definitely knows the dealio. Girls, these boys are strictly dickly! 

Meanwhile, YESSS I finally won a match on grass

Now check out my pocketbook. Isn’t it just FABULOUS

Simona Halep

The Koolaide Jug … enough said

 

US Open 2013: Day 6

Adios Kirilenko..Just one of the string of upset defeats

Day 6 at the Open was a bit of a shocker in some respect. A lot of the top ladies found themselves in some serious trouble. Several of the top seeds were bounced out of the tournament like some gypsy ball (I wonder if any of the Realz Fanz will know what a gypsy ball is). Alize Cornet, that unpredictable Frenchwoman almost gave Vickie a run for her money. Cornet took the 1^st set but then showed her true self on court losing quite easily in the next two. However, this was the 1^st time Vickie has come close to dropping a set in the tournament. She is a fighter though and very very feisty on court.

Though I love me some Kuzi this outfit has got to go!!

However, it was not Vickie’s near miss that was the shocker but the relative easy by which Maria Kirilenko, Svetlana Kuznetsova and Petra Kvitova were disposed of in the 3^rd round of a major. I mean Kuzi showed herself much better than Maria and Petra but still Kuzi, a former champ here back in 2004 should not have been downed by the likes of Flavia Pennetta 5-7 1-6. Kuzi almost snatched away the French Open title from the Serenanator in the May and here she is acting like some newcomer to the tour. Nonetheless, very good on Flavia for bagging this win. She has done well here at the Open in the past and is looking to continue this success. Maria and Petra on the other hand, I do not even know what to say. Between the two of them, they won a combined ZERO sets and only 4 games. They both enjoyed a final set bagel. Simona Halep of Romania who has been having a fabulous summer this year, just simply dismantled the Russian; a breadstick and a bagel 6-1 6-0. Why is Kirilenko getting such a trashing from Halep, I do not know.

Simona Halep of Romania is looking to make a name for herself on tour

As for Petra, she won 3 games against Allison Riske who is looking to make a name for herself at this year’s open 6-3 6-0. Petra spoke of not being well. I do not know Petra, it seems like you making your own life difficult. And unfortunately, I have to report, the rumours of her and Radek Stepanek being an item is no rumour; they have been confirmed. How many more brilliant female players do Radek Stepanek has to ruin before something is done about this social pariah. I mean, I am not one to get all Christian conservative but he is a married man. Nicole Vaidisova, you best come get your man because you throw away your career for this beast, do not let another brilliant talent go the same route.

Petra and this belly of hers. Maybe we should call her a Petra-belly Pig….That’s not right! I am not right…just foul I am

Camila Giorgi crushed the Danish Biscuit

In other news Caroline Wozniacki also got bounced but this is really no surprise other than the fact than an unheralded Italian Camilla Giorgi pounded her to the ground. From the jump, Giorgi was all over Woziniacki’s patty cake shots and only by the skin of her teeth was Woz able to bag the 1^st set. She was messy as always. It goes without saying that Wozniacki is not up to par with the challenges of really being a top tier player. She has talent but she has no gifts. There is not one element of her game that her opponents fear. She is non-factor for the most part. She is not even intimidating in her on court manner particularly looking at her ridiculous kit compliments La Stella McCartney.  Anyway, Giorgi smelled the opportunity to get the upset and took it. She knocked Caro out in three sets 4-6 6-4 6-3 and everyone who saw this match knew that Caro was soundly beaten.

Goodbye to Woz and this awful dress

I should mention that Roberta Vinci and Daniela Hantuchova won their matches also though Daniela made a mess of it against an Israeli player I have never heard of before.

6	C. Wozniacki	6	4	3
	C. Giorgi	4	6	6
10	R. Vinci	6	6
	K. Knapp	4	3
2	V. Azarenka	6	6	6
26	A. Cornet	7	3	2
	J. Glushko	6	5	6
	D. Hantuchova	3	7	7
14	M. Kirilenko	1	0
21	S. Halep	6	6
13	A. Ivanovic	4	7	6
	C. McHale	6	5	4
27	S. Kuznetsova	5	1
	F. Pennetta	7	6
7	P. Kvitova	3	0
	A. Riske	6	6

On the men’s side, the usual suspects were in fine form. Mr. Federer and Divadal are likely heading for their umpteenth encounter on tour though surprisingly, they have never met at the US Open. Mr. Federer dismantled the cutie Frenchman Adrian Mannarino whereas Divadal took apart Ivan Dodig also in straight sets.

Mr. Federer is looking supreme right about now… the calm before the storm I suspect

Tommy Robredo halted the hot young Briton Daniel Evans in his tracks. Robredo, 31, who is enjoying perhaps the best season of his career put paid on Evans’ remarkable run here in NYC. Evans had two set points to take the match to a decisive 5^th set. However, his inexperience got in the way and Robredo set himself up for his 11^th meeting with Mr. Federer. Hopefully he has a better time on his 11^th meeting. He has yet to win a match and has only won 3-24 sets if I am not mistaken on this stat. Mr. Federer looks ready to end this year on a decent note at the majors and Robredo

Robredo happy to be finding his good tennis again especially at majors

Robredo joins his fellow Spaniard David Ferrer who had a tough match up with Mikhail Kukushkin but coming through in 4 set. Their compatriot FeFe Lopez lost to Milos Raonic of Canada. It is time that Raonic start making some noise at majors. Americans did not fare so well last night John Isner, the highest ranked American was bounced by Philipp Kohlschreiber and Jock Sock got bagged by Janko Tipsarevic. I am not a fan of Janko but good on him to be making some noise at a major. He has had a most dismal year. I do not think he had any good runs for the year. I think the lone American man on deck is Tim Smyczek who I doubt will go further than he has already. The press is all complaining about the poor showing of the Americans. Mind you American men have failed to get past the 4^th round this year at any of the majors and they expect them to pull off something special here. Meanwhile, Richard Gasquet is through to the 4^th round when Dmitri Tursunov retired in the 4^th set.

2	R. Nadal	6	6	6
	I. Dodig	4	3	3
7	R. Federer	6	6	6
	A. Mannarino	3	0	3
13	J. Isner	4	6	5	6
22	P. Kohlschreiber	6	3	7	7
19	T. Robredo	7	6	4	7
	D. Evans	6	1	6	5
	M. Kukushkin	4	3	6	4
4	D. Ferrer	6	6	4	6
	J. Sock	6	6	1	2
18	J. Tipsarevic	3	7	6	6
23	F. Lopez	7	4	3	4
10	M. Raonic	6	6	6	6
8	R. Gasquet	6	2	6	4
32	D. Tursunov (Ret)	3	6	4	2

Guess who this is?? You might have to defend yourself

Hide your purses!

Her neck is very stiff

Talk about a flat stomach..

Though he is a douche, he definitely has a nice body. Give me some liquor and I would be all over it… I will feign gaynesia in the morning

FeFe Lopez giving us the Spanish Scruff and Me le gusto

Mannarino… my dar is definitely pinging here

Hmmm Let me think about it… I am gonna have agree with you

Carlo is being so nice to the kiddies… Be careful, she bites

I do not even know where to begin with these shirts but needless to say

WTF? My boo Daniel Evans is wearing a microbra?? What the hell is going on here peeps? Help Realz understand what’s really the deal here

Australian Open 2012: Day 6

Well Day 6 at the Aussie Open promised to be crazy exciting but in the end it was sorta a letdown though there were several gems to be treasured. On the ladies GHW was not messing around when she faced Maria Kirilenko of Russia. I guess there was less of a distraction for her across the net as Kiri is gifted in the looks department heavily so than her last opponent Lady Hobbit. Anyway, GHW unleashed her powers and was quickly at 6-0 but Kiri claimed injury and retired after losing the first game of the 2^nd set. Kvitova is through to 4^th round. She is picking up energy and confidence for this tournament.

Thanks for the warm up!!

Next up was Sara Errani of Italy vs Sorana Cirstea of Romania. It was an excellent first set and both ladies battled it out. The first set was literally decided by a couple of points as Cirstea took it in a tie-breaker 7-6. However, she claimed injury after when it became clear that the Italian was not going to be denied a chance for her first 4^th round draw at a major. Cirstea tried to stick around but she got dismissed 0-6 2-6. Errani is through to the next round.

Look at the size of that cranium. It is like Alien v Predator had a baby girl.

Is this a 2008 Aussie Open Shriekapova we are seeing??

Shriekapova and the Serenanator seem on a collision course in the quarters as they both easily dispatched of their opponents. Shriekapova took out the German Angelique Kerber (30^th seed) 6-1 6-2. Kerber you might remember made it to the 2011 US Open semifinals where she lost to eventual champion Sam D’stove Stosur. The Serenanator took out Greta Arn of Hugnary 6-1 6-1. Though I cannot recall the specific head to head between the Russian and the American, it goes without saying that the Serenanator owns Shriekapova. Everyone will remember the 2004 Wimbledon finals where the young upstart took out two time reigning champion and perhaps less so that later that year at the WTA Year Ending Championships, the Russian again beat the American. However, since 2004, Maria has yet to record a win over the American and many of her losses have been no contest including meeting last year in California. The Serenanator treated her with utter disdain. However, the Russian seemed to have put her injuries behind her and apparently in fine form. So it might be a tough match but she has to get past a hard hitting, big serving Sabine Lisicki of Germany where as the Serenanator get past Ekaterina Makarova of Russia.

The Serenanator is on and seeking to destroy!

So Lisicki and Makarova are through to the 4^th round by virtue of “upsets” or another Chernobyl Disaster by their Russian opponents. Lisicki played Kuzi-Rex in the 3^rd round and Kuzi-Rex took the first set 6-2 and was up a break in the 2^nd. I was all ready to say, oh Kuzi Rex is back in fine form and perhaps might be dangerous at this tournament. However, no sooner did I think that than the Russian simply collapsed handing Lisicki belief of winning the tournament.  Kuzi-Rex was up 6-2 4-3, serving to go up 5-3. However, she only won two more games for the rest of the match as she lost 6-2 4-6 2-6. See this is why I cannot deal with Kuzi-Rex. She is a two time major winner and half the time she acts as if she just came on the tour. She looks like a bloody dinosaur but for all that mean and grit in her face, she is as scary as a frigging teddy bear.

This dinosaur is playing like a relic

Absolute waste of time and speaking of that, her country woman Vera ZvonaZERO was no better on court. Against her country woman Makarova who has no real great tour success but of course she faced Vera and she knew she had a chance. Vera came out looking shape racing to a 3-0 lead then lost the next four games, won the next 2 and lost the next 2. She fought to get into the tie break. She just collapsed after that, losing the set and won ONE solitary game in the 2^nd set. 7-6 6-1 Makarova. You know without a doubt, Vera was bawling on court and on her way out. Someone should tape her tear ducts shut. Interestingly enough. ZvonaZero and Kuzi-Rex have teamed up to play doubles at these championships. I guess they are getting ready for the Olympics. Let’s see how well they do here.

Makarova of Russia

The other two matches played, Sailor Moon vs. Ivanovic the Terrible and Jie Zheng vs. La Petite Grosse were not so much remarkable as they were impressive. Ivanovic is showing signs of glory as she made it through to the 4^th round in a major, something that has been rather elusive for her in recent years. (She did make it to the 4^th round of the US Open last year but was knocked out by the Serenanator.) Anyway she took out Sailor Moon (Vania King) in straight sets 6-3 6-4. Up next is Kvitova aka GHW. That’s a tall order because Kvitova is looking to demolish this field.

You might this is Fatoli excited about a point. However it's just here doing one of her on court ballet routine.

In the other match it was Jie Zheng who is no bigger than your thumb (Maybe I should call her Thumbelina or Pixie) Anyway, she came out and was kicking like Jet Li against Fatoli Bartoli. Loads of people had Bartoli as a dark horse pick. LOL I think they had too much over the Christmas break because Bartoli will not win a major barring some unforeseen incident. She is not as consistent and hungry like the other girls….wait I take that back because she is always eating. However, she does not have the depth of play as the top ladies, so I do not factor her in at any major though she has made 2 semis and a final. Her game is too discombobulated and she exerts too much energy on court. No one is afraid of her and few take her seriously. Once her opponent sees the chance to make it big in a major and she is the roadblock, they will be all over her. Nonetheless, I really thought that she would have given Zheng some sorta fight and perhaps proved herself to be superior player. However, Zheng a 2010 semifinalist was not having any of that at all. She played a wonderful match. She was on Fatroli from the jump and the Frenchwoman never had a chance to do anything. Zheng was the better player and she never let up on her advantage. Zheng won 6-3 6-3 and is through to another 4^th round of a major.

On the men’s draw, things were fairly routine for the most part.

Mahut showed up for a marathon but quickly realized that it was a sprint!

D’Juggernaut continues to look very very impressive as he obliterated the Frenchman Nicolas Mahut. Mahut you would remember from the 2010 Wimbledon who played that epic match against BFG 70-68 in the 5^th set. Anyway, against the Serb, it was a 100 metres sprint…wait scratch that, it was a 60-yard dash and he was left in the dust 6-0 6-1 6-1. Mahut claimed injury but I think the only thing that was hurting was both his pride and game. Baby Ali is also playing well as he took out the Portuguese Frederico Gil 6-2 6-2 6-2. Lochness Monster also had an easy time against his French opponent, Michael Llodra who went out 6-4 6-2 6-0, the Scotsman. So many of the top players are playing very very well. It is a love fest all over the tour as people are getting blitz. Even in doubles, the 2^nd seed team of Lisa Raymond and Liezel Huber took out their 1^st round opponent 6-0 6-0.

Lochness Monster is quietly going through the draw

Anyway, we are not here to talk about the ladies doubles event. David Fiery Ferrer is also through to the 4th round. 2011 semifinalist looked a bit out of sorts when he played Juan Ignacio Chela aka Chin Chela. Chin Chela barking at his heels but eventually the Spaniard showed himself to be the superior athlete, 7-5 6-2 6-1.Richard Gasquet (17th seed) took on Janko Tipsarevic (9th seed) and to be honest, I expected an epic match of sorts. Both are immensely talented, though the Frenchman is a shade better. However, in the actual match, Gasquet just blitzed the Serb. Perhaps Tipsarevic was having a bad day but he was totally out of it throughout as Richard took the match 6-3 6-3 6-1. Dennis the Menace aka Milos Raonic of Canada played Dingo Dog Hewitt and I knew that Dennis just would not have had the stamina to squeak out this win plus the Aussie crowd has been rather vicious this year and were strongly behind their man. Raonic managed to win the first set 6-4 but eventually Dingo Dog proved too dogged for the Canadian and he lost in 4 sets 4-6 6-3 7-6 6-3 Hewitt. Hewitt received a wild card to get into these championships if I am not mistaken and he is not wasting this invitation. He is in the 4th round but will be face the onslaught of the D’Juggernaut. Kei Nishikori of Japan took care of Julian Benneteau of France in 4 sets 4-6 7-6 7-6 6-3. This was a match of determination and will and the Japanese proved to be the stronger in the end.

Nishikori

The final men’s match to speak of and for me the match of the tournament and perhaps one for the ages, is Gael Monfils of French vs Mikhail Kukushkin of Kazakhstan. This was an epic match. Beetlejuice came out and won the first 2 games followed by  Kukushkin reeling off 8 straight games. 6-2 2-0. Beetle decided that he was going to call trainer complaining of back pain and he was moving like an ugly old man on court. For those who know tennis, they know Monfils is all about his speed. However, in yesterday’s match, he looked all but ready for the wheelchair. He was hobbling, walking gingerly to shots and at times, just giving up.

Beetlejuice looked like he was all dried up

Kukushkin raced to a 5-1 lead in the 2nd. However, here is where things got very very interesting. I for one will admit that I thought it unwise for BJ to continue. I mean it was obvious he could not move and Kukushkin was just pouncing all over the balls. However a strange thing happened Kushi went to serve for the set;  he began to choke and he was CHOKING big time. It was like watching a hanging. Kushi could not create his own pace at all and Beetlejuice just pushed the ball back and allowed Kushi to make the errors. Then it was now 5-5 all. However, Kushi pulled out the 2nd set 7-5 and enjoyed a 2-0 set lead. Beetlejuice refused to retire and began the 3rd set. BJ had taken back medication and I guess as the effects of the meds worn on, he regained some mobility and he took the 3rd set 7-5 and just dominated the 4th 6-1.

The fighting spirit of this demon was tremendous

We were even for the 5th. Monfils braved on and I will have to say that he earned my respect. Usually his on court antics always bugged the shite out of me. However, yesterday he was just absolutely on point, playing well within himself and conserving energy. He played valiantly and I dare say this, Beetlejuice earned my respect. He lost the match though 4-6 in the 5th, double faulting on match point. Kushi was hitting like a girl and I am sure he will lose in the next round but he will make more money there than in the 3rd round.

Kushi through to his first 4th round appearance at a major

So that’s a wrap up of the 6th day. Hope you enjoyed!!

Today’s Hotties are HOTT…BRULE, MUY CALIENTE!!

WUUURRRQQQ!!! (I have some issues with the lower half of the dress..actually with the whole thing really. Sorta looks like a dish towel. However, you are wurqing it. This was a homemade number wasn't it??)

Fiery Ferrer (words have failed me right now!)

For those who like men who like dogs, here is something for you. Not my thing...though I am all for licking

This is just too hot. This has to be considered soft core porn. I wonder what lies between. Hmmm

Hey you!! Not you daddy but your son next to you.

Why thank you for the resfreshment.... I sure could use this. So hot around here.

Clearly we are in the notties section right now

I don't know who performed this bit of "My Fair Lady" magic and turned Kuzi- Rex (seen directly above) into a lady but I do think they deserve a Nobel Prize.

Chin Chela is possessed by the demons of non-beauty

It isn't just in Paris that its all gay

Sweetie you know that's your gurlfriend and not your boyfriend right?? Just checking

Mahut. This isn't sexy....it's sleezy and damn near creepy too. Get away!!

What do you mean we cannot do that here? Checking her whowho on court is a perfectly legitimate reason for an injury time out? Stop the hating Rosie!!

Monsters always turn out to be freaks. Commendable effort but there are somethings that should never be done alone!